


From Dusk to Dawn

by themushroomqueen



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Complete, Depression, Developing Friendships, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Marijuana, Romance, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2019-11-26 06:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 88,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18177197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themushroomqueen/pseuds/themushroomqueen
Summary: As 8 year olds, Amber and Shane spent a fun-filled summer together, never to see each other again. After many years, they end up back in town and back into each other's lives, but find that adult relationships are much more complicated than they bargained for.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my fic! This is my very first bit of writing anything after 10 years of nothing, so I hope you enjoy as I stretch my creative muscles writing about my favorite marriage candidate in Stardew Valley!

"I'm going to get you, Shane!"

Amber's high-pitched squeal echoed off the trees in Cindersap Forest as she raced after Shane. The young boy, cackling wildly, looked back at her as he zig-zagged through the dense forestry.

"No you won't, I'm too fast! I'm the king of the jungle!" he roared, thumping his chest with his fists.

Amber continued to chase him, their giggles colliding in the air creating a thunderclap of laughter, when Shane suddenly tripped over a large tree root and landed directly on his face. 

"Ughhhhh," he groaned. Shane untangled his foot from underneath the root and sat up as Amber skidded to a stop beside him.

"Are you okay?" she asked, peering down at his scraped face and unruly black hair now coated with dust.

"I think so." He ran his fingers over his face and looked down at them, seeing a bit of red among the dirt. With a shrug, he wiped his hands on his shorts before lifting his head and smiling widely, a black hole where his tooth should be. 

Amber gasped. "Your tooth is gone!" she shrieked, before frantically inspecting the ground where he fell and saw a speck of white among the dirt and rocks. Reaching down, she picked it up and looked it over. "Gross," she sneered. "It has blood on it!"

Shane snatched the tooth from her hand, eliciting a "hey!" from Amber and begun to wipe the grime from it. "I can't wait to tell Aunt Marnie I lost my first tooth!"

"Lucky." Amber plopped down, placing her back against a tree and pouted. "I don't even have a wiggly one yet. My grandpa said that it will come out when it's ready, but I don't want to wait anymore!"

Shane held his tooth in his fist as he scooted next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry, I'm sure it will happen soon."

Amber rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad we're friends," she said, smiling. "You're nice to me. I want to marry you one day."

"Marry me?!" Shane pulled away, horrified. "That's gross girly stuff!"

Amber turned to him and glared. "No, it's not! Boys get married too! My grandpa said that I should marry my best friend, and you're my best friend, so I want to marry you!" She crossed her arms in a huff and looked away, scowling. 

Shane gaped at her before rolling his eyes. "You're my best friend too."

Amber still sat facing away from him, her crossed arms tightening even more.

With a sigh, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'll marry you when we're grown-ups."

Amber softened slightly and turned her head. "You mean it?"

"I mean it."

"You  _promise_?"

"I promise!" he groaned, exasperated. 

Amber sat on her knees, facing him completely, and stuck out a pinky. "Prove it. Pinky promise that we'll get married when we're grown-ups."

Shane sat up straight and puffed his chest out. He wrapped his pinky around hers, and said as solemnly as an 8 year old could manage, "I pinky promise that we'll get married when we're grown-ups."

Pleased with this outcome, Amber squealed and tackled Shane into a hug, causing him to drop his tooth.

"Be careful!" he shouted, dusting it off once more.

Amber and Shane sat in peace for several minutes and listened to the wind blowing through the trees, the birds chirping, and the plopping sound of fish nibbling on insects settling on the surface of the lake.

"Shane! Amber! It's time to come back!" A distant voice called, breaking the silence.

"I don't want to go back home today." Amber said, standing. "Zuzu City isn't as fun as here."

"Yeah, me either." Shane fidgeted as they walked, absentmindedly rubbing the tooth between his thumb and forefinger.

When they made it back to the ranch, Amber hugged Shane tightly before climbing into her grandfather's truck and rolling down the passenger side window. "Will you be back next summer?"

"Yeah, will you?"

"Yep!"  

"It's time to go, Amber. Your mom and dad want you home before dinner," Amber's grandpa smiled sadly. 

Amber waved excitedly at her best friend. "See you next summer!" she called as the truck started up and drove away, leaving the messy-haired boy behind to look after them longingly. 

"See you next summer."


	2. A New Life

Amber Harris sat at her drab, grey cubicle in Joja HQ tapping away at her keyboard drafting up yet another report. Her deep brown eyes were glazed over as she stared at the screen typing line after line of corporate Joja nonsense, checking the time for what felt like the hundredth time that hour. 11:37am. Just a bit longer until her allotted 15 minute lunch.

She pushed away from her desk and leaned back in her chair, sighing. She had been working for Joja since graduating High School - first as a cashier for 4 soul sucking years, and then another 4 years at Joja HQ once she got her Bachelor's degree in Business. Not that it was really doing her any good.

Amber felt stuck - her life was nothing but Joja. She had almost no social life, working from 9am to 5pm five days a week - the only human interaction she had besides the people she worked with were the men she picked up in bars, and they weren't always the greatest company. She just felt like shit, which matched her absolutely shitty life.

She straightened herself and prepared to return to her report when she glanced over to the drawer to the right of her. Inside was an envelope from her deceased grandfather, given to her when she turned 18 with the sole instruction being that she only open it when she is desperate for something new in her life. She kept it at home for years... until she started her Joja HQ job, where she felt she might need it in an emergency. It was time. 

She opened the metal drawer and pulled out a beige envelope with a purple wax seal. Breaking the seal, she removed a folded paper of some sort and a letter. She read the letter first.

  
'Dear Amber,  
If you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change.  
The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life... real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.  
I've enclosed the deed to that place... my pride and joy: Harris Farm. It's the perfect place to start your new life.  
This was my most precious gift of all, and now it's yours. I know you'll honor the family name, my girl. Good luck.  
Love, Grandpa  
P.S. If Lewis is still alive, say hi to the old guy for me, will ya?'

 

Amber's heart started pounding painfully in her chest.

_This is it. Years of sedentary work and shitty eating is finally catching up with me. I'm having a heart attack._

With shaking fingers, she opened the deed and looked at it through teary eyes. She remembered going to the farm maybe a couple of times as a kid, one of them being her grandfather's funeral. How could it be hers?

Attached to the deed was a post-it note with the number to the Pelican Town mayor. Without hesitating, Amber snatched up the phone. She mashed her fingers on the numbers, and her heart thudded heavily as it rang.

Suddenly there was a click and the sound of a throat clearing.

"Hello?" A low voice rumbled in her ears.

"H-hi." Amber stuttered.

"Who is this?" 

"My name is Amber Harris. My grandpa owned Harris Farm, a long time ago."

"Amber! I haven't seen you since you were a little girl!"

"Uhm..." Amber murmured awkwardly, twirling the telephone cord in her finger. "I'm not really sure who you are."

The man chuckled. "Of course you wouldn't. I'm Lewis, the mayor of Pelican Town."

Lewis's name jumped out at Amber from the letter.

"Lewis! My grandfather says hi."

"Pardon?"

"Sorry. In the letter he wrote me, he said to say hi. If you were still... alive..." Amber grimaced at her sudden awkwardness.

"That sounds like something old Mike would say," Lewis chortled before sighing contentedly. "Anyway, Miss Amber, is there something I could do for you?"

She slapped her forehead. "Of course! Like I said, my grandpa left me a letter. And a deed. To his farm."

"You don't say?"

"What should I do?"

"Well," he sighed, "the farm is yours. That means you can use it however you see fit. Are you interested in moving here and starting it back up? Our town has missed your grandfather's presence, and it would be nice to have someone new."

Amber stared at her computer screen for several moments.

"Hello?"

"Yes." She said suddenly. "Yes, I'd like to."

Lewis chuckled. "Wonderful! Call me later on this afternoon and we can set up all the details. I look forward to seeing you soon!"

"You too. Bye."

Amber slowly lowered the phone until it clicked quietly into the base. The past several minutes felt like a dream. A farm. A farm! A... _farm_. She sighed. She didn't know anything about farms... but that didn't mean she wouldn't  _learn_.

Slowly, a smirk appeared on her face and she stood up, sending her chair rolling back a couple feet. She grabbed a piece of paper out of her printer and a Sharpie from the drawer, and after uncapping it, scrawled in large capital letters, 'I QUIT' across the pristine white sheet. She taped the page to the monitor and gathered up her few belongings, taking extra care to tuck away her grandpa's letter and the deed to the farm in her purse. She turned to walk out, but glanced back at her now-vacant desk which had been her companion for the past 4 years, her smirk transforming into a genuine smile before facing forward and leaving the building which had been the bane of her existence for the very last time.

 

* * *

 

Amber adjusted her duffel bag on her lap, which contained almost everything she owned. There was no sense in bringing every book or knick-knack she had in her crappy city apartment - it's a new life after all, so shouldn't she have a new start? She did, however, bring as many of her clothes as she could fit, her phone, and all her money, which was a sizable amount despite the cost of rent (even for a place as small as hers) and transportation in Zuzu City. There was nothing holding her back. No friends, no family, no hobbies, just the occasional night out to get her rocks off, and even then she could sacrifice that. Besides, if she ever got truly lonely, Zuzu City was only an hour or so away.

She looked eagerly out the dusty bus window, watching the countryside flash by, and soon there was a green sign reading 'Stardew Valley - 0.5 miles'. It's close now. Her brand new life is close.

In no time at all, the bus slowed to a stop. Amber stood, putting the duffel bag on her shoulder and tucked her hair behind her ear before walking down the length of the bus and descending 4 stairs before her feet hit solid ground - dirt and grass instead of concrete. Waiting for her was a kindly-looking, red-headed woman whose face broke into the biggest smile she had ever seen a stranger have for another stranger.

"Hello! You must be Amber!" the woman exclaimed, extending a hand. Amber took it hesitantly and shook it.

"I'm Robin, the local carpenter," she continued. "Mayor Lewis sent me here to fetch you and show you the way to your new home!"

"Where is he?"

"Oh, he's there right now just straightening things up. It was a bit of a mess, you know, being abandoned all these years!" Robin laughed, her smile crinkling the corner of her eyes and gently placed her hand on Amber's shoulder before gesturing to a pathway to the right of the bus stop. "The farm's right over here, just follow me and we'll be there in no time."

Robin headed down the path, with Amber treading close behind. As they walked, Amber ogled the nature around them. There were _trees_. Of course there were trees, this was a small town smack-dab in the middle of the country, after all. Amber was used to seeing the occasional, perfectly trimmed tree planted on city sidewalks, but this was something else... there were hundreds and hundreds of them, growing so close together that their branches intertwined creating a canopy of green above and around them. She looked to the broken down wooden fence that ran along both sides of the path, and saw wild flowers of about a hundred different shades of blue, pink, purple, yellow and orange growing among verdant green grass.

 _I can't believe this is where I live now_.

A squirrel darted in the path in front of them and circled up a tree, chittering noisily. Amber was overwhelmed. In the city, the only creatures she saw were rats running into storm drains and pigeons shitting on statues, but now there were  _squirrels_? 

 _Technically, squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails_ , Amber thought before Robin stopped suddenly in front of her.

"Welcome to Harris Farm!"

Amber looked up at a giant field riddled with overgrown grass, weeds, rocks, and what had to be at least 50 trees, growing with no real pattern to them whatsoever. She gasped, and a hand flew to her mouth. Whatever little memory she had of this place, this wasn't a part of it. Was this a joke? Did that woman take her to the wrong place? There's no way this is it.

Robin looked at Amber worriedly. "What's the matter?"

Amber's mouth opened and shut, but nothing came out, sending Robin into a fit of laughter. 

"Yep, it's a wreck, that's for sure. But there's some good soil underneath that mess, and with a little dedication, you'll make good use of it and have this place cleaned up in no time!" Robin patted Amber on the back, knocking her out of her stupor. "Come on, your home is right over here."

Before them stood an old cabin, dilapidated, with a giant hole in the porch. Immediately, all the good feelings she had about moving were washed away. 

_I can't believe this is where I live now._

The front door opened and an old man with brown suspenders and a newsboy cap peeked out, opening the door fully when he saw the women standing there.

"Ah, Amber!" Lewis smiled at her and made his way down the stairs to greet her, holding his hand out. "I'm Lewis." Amber took his hand and he shook it, his grip surprisingly soft.

"Nice to meet you, Lewis."

"Welcome back to Pelican Town," he chuckled. "Everyone has been excited for your arrival. It's not every day someone new moves in, after all!"

Amber laughed nervously and the old man gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before turning to face the cabin.

"So, you're moving into your grandfather's old cottage," he said softly. "It's a good house. Very 'rustic'."

 _I can think of another word for it_.

As if she read her mind, Robin let out a bark of laughter. "'Rustic' is one way to put it! It's a mess, Lewis."

"Don't listen to her, Amber," Lewis said gruffly. "She's just trying to get you to pay her to renovate. It's a good place, don't pay her any mind."

Renovation? Depending on the state of the inside, Amber thought she might have to keep that in mind.

In response, Robin scoffed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.

Lewis continued. "Anyway, you must be tired. You should get some rest. Tomorrow you ought to explore the town a bit and introduce yourself. The townspeople would appreciate that."

Amber groaned inwardly. She came to the farm not just for a change, but because she thought she would be able to spend time alone surrounded by something other than grey walls. She didn't expect she'd have to mingle with an entire town.

Lewis gestured to a giant wooden shipping crate near her mailbox. "If you have anything you want to sell, just place it in here. I'll come by every other day to collect it. It's the least I could do for our new farmer!"

 _Well that's convenient._ Seems like she wouldn't have to deal with people as much as she thought.

"Good luck!" Lewis smiled, and together he and Robin made their way off of her new farm and down the path toward what she assumed was town.

After they were out of sight, Amber turned back toward the cabin - or cottage, as Lewis called it - and climbed up the stairs, the old wood creaking underfoot. She approached the door and grabbed the knob before slowly turning it and pushing the door in.

An old musty scent wafted out at her. The cabin was clean, thanks to Lewis. There was a bed in one corner, and a tall potted plant in the other. On the left side of the cabin in front of a fireplace sat 2 chairs and a table upon which was a decorative bowl. Amber promised to herself she'd fill it with her first fully grown crops. There was no kitchen to be seen, and somewhere off to the right side, a door lead to a bathroom which held a toilet, a sink, and and a bathtub all crowded together. Amber's eyes floated to the small TV on a stand next to her bed.

 _At least I'll have something to do_.

She dropped her duffel bag on the ground and flopped on the bed. It wasn't as good as her bed back in the city, but it was comfier than she thought, and she felt her spirits lift the tiniest bit.

_I wonder if this is the same bed my grandpa..._

She shook the morbid thought away and picked up the remote which was placed neatly on the comforter, turning on the TV. There wasn't much on, so she tucked the pillow under her head and watched The Queen of Sauce for hours until the sun set and her eyes grew heavy.

 

* * *

 

Amber awoke to the distant sound of a rooster crowing. She sat up, and, for a moment, forgot where she was. As the memories of yesterday flooded back, she jumped out of bed, fully refreshed and with a smile. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled upon waking up. Maybe cleaning up this place wouldn't be so bad after all. She stepped to the door and flung it open, soaking in the morning spring sun. By her feet sat a tiny package wrapped with a bow. Curiously, she picked it up and brought it inside, sitting on the bed to open it. Inside were 10 packs of parsnip seeds, 2000G, and a note from... Lewis? Robin?

  
'Here are a few seeds and some money to help get you started. Welcome home.

-The Citizens of Pelican Town'

  
_Welcome home_.

The words echoed pleasantly in her head as she looked around the cabin, another smile creeping over her face. She was home.


	3. One Year Later

It had been about a year since Amber moved to Pelican Town, and the year had been surprisingly good to her.

The day after moving in, she called Lewis, and to his dismay, asked for directions to Robin's shop where she used up almost all of her savings hiring her to expand her house, which, thankfully, gave her a kitchen, a bedroom, and a bigger bathroom. Since the work would take months to complete, Robin suggested she eat her meals at the Stardrop Saloon, a quaint little place located in the center of town. For a while, Amber avoided it, choosing to eat sandwiches and foraged berries at home. It quickly grew boring, however - she needed a  _hot_ meal - so one night, around dinner time, she gathered up her nerves and headed to the Saloon. 

She immediately regretted her decision upon entering. The saloon was crowded, and every table was filled leaving only a few stools at the counter.

A mustachioed man from behind the counter called out at her as she looked around nervously. "You must be the new farmer!" 

The townspeople's chattering died down as they snapped their heads toward the door - toward her - and whispered excitedly among themselves. Amber's face reddened as she approached the counter. 

"Y-yeah, that's me."

"Well it's good to have you here," he said, extending his arm. "I'm Gus, owner of the Stardrop Saloon."

"Amber," she murmured, shaking his hand.

"Now what can I get for you?"

"Beer? I guess? And whatever it is you have to eat here."

Gus's mustache twitched as he smiled. "Our regular menu is a fresh garden salad with a side of freshly baked bread, your own custom made personal pizza, and my famous - and may I add, very delicious - spaghetti a la Gus! Our daily special today is crispy bass, which is Emily, the barmaid's specialty."

_Only four things? Jesus, this place sucks._

"Pizza sounds good."

"Alright, what do you want?"

"You have any peppers? Not like bell peppers, but _really_ spicy ones?"

Gus chuckled. "We sure do," he said, writing it down. "Is that it?"

"Yeah."

He grabbed a glass from below the counter and filled it from the tap, the white foam sloshing over the side as he placed it on the counter in front of her. Before he turned to leave, he nodded his head toward a man tucked away in a corner at the other end of the bar. 

"Besides you and me, Shane over there is the only one who ever orders hot peppers on their food. The rest of the town has too sensitive a palate. It's a shame," he said, shaking his head as he took her order out of sight around the corner. 

Amber looked to where Gus had nodded. A ruggedly handsome but extremely dour-faced man sat eyeing her curiously over the top of his beer, turning away when Amber met his gaze. He nervously took a drink, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he stared at the wall beside him. Something about the man felt familiar, but she didn't think about it for long. Instead, she sipped her beer, scrolling mindlessly through her phone until a small pizza appeared in front of her. 

"Enjoy," Gus said before heading over to another customer and fetching them a drink.

Amber cut into the pizza and took her first bite. 

" _Mmmm_ ," she moaned quietly, her eyes fluttering shut. This shit was _good_ , and the peppers were actually  _spicy_ , making her nose run a little. Most restaurants had a terrible habit of advertising their food as **SUPER EXXXTRA HOT 🌶🌶🌶** but ended up being disappointing as a whole. This was exactly what she wanted.

 _Maybe this place isn't so bad after all_.

She dabbed underneath her nose with a napkin before taking another bite, her eyes flashing back up toward the man in the corner. Once again, he had been watching her, and once again, he shuffled anxiously before placing his unfinished beer and a few bills on the counter and walked out the front door, the bell tinkling loudly as he slammed it shut. 

Amber spent almost every night the next few months in the saloon for dinner, keeping completely to herself, only speaking to whoever it was that was taking her order. Occasionally, a townsperson would approach her and try to strike up conversation, but after not getting much in return, they'd get the point and leave her be. Eventually they got used to her silent presence and she was able to enjoy her meals in peace until her kitchen was finished and she could finally use it with supplies she purchased from Pierre's shop. After that, she hadn't returned to the saloon at all.

 

* * *

 

Through the spring, summer, and fall, she worked her ass off tending a decently-sized farm producing parsnips, cauliflower, corn, radishes, and so on. Her day started at 6 in the morning, and ended around 6 in the evening, and after eating her dinner, collapsed exhausted and sore on her couch. On days where the crops didn't need much work, she cleared away the land by scything grass, breaking down rocks, and, toughest of all, chopping down trees and splitting them into logs. It was hell in the beginning, but the tools her grandfather left behind were serving her well. She made back the money she had lost from paying for the renovation and bought a sprinkler system, installing it in preparation for her spring crops.

Amber stood in her bedroom and examined herself in the floor-length mirror. Farming had done great work on her body - her slightly pudgy, desk job-having, frozen food-eating form grew lean and strong; the blisters on her hands hardening into calluses.  She flexed, inspecting her muscles, and stepped closer to the mirror to get a closer look at her face, noticing how the sprinkle of freckles across her nose above made her look several years younger than her 27 year old self. 

It was almost time to plant her spring crops, and as Amber sat in her living room watching TV, she couldn't help but think that she needed another challenge for the year. She had grown used to the farm work, after all, and most of her land was cleared out aside from 30 trees or so that she left for aesthetic's sake. She flipped the channel to Livin' Off the Land.

_Let's talk chickens. Chickens are a great way to sustain yourself during farm living! Adult hens produce an egg every single day, and when they're too old, they're almost just as delicious as a younger hen!_

Amber sat up straight. Chickens. Of course! A perfect challenge for a new year! Eggs at Pierre's were expensive anyway, so a steady supply of fresh eggs would be perfect, plus it would give her something to focus on in her off time. She slipped on her boots and headed up toward Robin's house in the mountains.

"A chicken coop, hmm? I offer different types, anything you have in mind?" Robin leaned over her shop counter, showing Amber her options from a well-worn catalog.

"Just a simple coop is fine. Enough for just a couple chickens."

"You got it!" Robin grinned. "You've been doing well this year. Farming definitely runs in your blood."

Amber smiled shyly, eyes cast downward. "I don't know about that..."

The carpenter slapped her gently on the arm. "You stop that! You have _completely_ turned that place around, and it has only been 1 year! And now you're about to get chickens! Your grandfather would be proud."

Amber realized that she had only thought about the coop, she hadn't paid any mind as to where she would actually get the chickens themselves.

"Where do I even  _get_ chickens around here, anyway?"

"There's a ranch to the south of you that sells animals," Robin stated, filling out a receipt. "It's owned by a woman named Marnie. I think she actually has some chicks that will be ready to leave their mother around the time I'm done building the coop, which should be about, oh, 3 days from now?"

"That fast?" Amber asked, surprised.

Robin shrugged, taking great effort to hide her boastful smile. "It's just a simple coop."

Robin spent the next few days over at Amber's house, hammering together the chicken coop. It ended up looking a lot better than Amber imagined, and as she examined it, she found she was beside herself with excitement. There was a wire-fenced yard for them to run around in, and the coop itself was roomy, just a bit smaller than her shed. It even had an automatic feeder "free of charge", Robin said, winking. Amber took a permanent marker and drew a small cartoon chicken on the corner of their nesting box. She stepped back and beamed with unbidden glee. She felt almost maternal, like she was preparing a nursery for the new babies she was about to bring home.  

The next day, it was officially time to start planting the spring seeds, so she did so as quickly and efficiently as possible and switched on the sprinklers before going inside to change out of her dusty gardening clothes and throwing on blue jeans and a thin black sweater. She pulled her hair down from its loose bun, letting it fall in cascading waves to the middle of her back before pulling on her boots and grabbing her phone and wallet. She left her keys hanging from the hook on the wall. After the first couple months, Amber stopped locking up. Pelican Town didn't seem like the type of place that had criminals, and no one had bothered her at home, so she always left it unlocked.

She made her way south through her farm, shutting off the sprinklers as she passed. She assessed the place as she walked, feeling pride over all the work she had done. The winter weather had brought about new debris for her to clear away, but it was nothing compared with what she had to face a year ago. After a year, Amber felt that this place was truly _hers_.

A 15 minute walk later, and she finally saw the ranch come into view. It was a large, brown-bricked building with a red roof, and adjacent to it was a large fenced-in area which held several cows looking at her through sweet, large eyes. Amber heard the distant sound of chickens clucking, and her heart began to pound eagerly in her chest. She strolled up to the front door and knocked sharply.

"Come in!" a woman's voice called from inside.

Amber opened the door and awkwardly stepped in. A portly woman in a green button down dress and a long-sleeved red undershirt, her auburn hair swept to the side in a braid sat behind the counter, her bored expression brightening at the sight of her. She stood, holding a hand out.

"Welcome to my ranch! It's nice to see you, Amber!"

Amber had never really talked to the woman before. She was one of the ones that tried to approach her in the saloon, but said her goodbyes quickly after introducing herself. This must be Marnie. Amber took her outstretched hand and shook it.

"What can I do for you?" Marnie's smile widened, reaching her soft, kind eyes.

"Robin told me that you might have some chicks that you're selling?"

Marnie stepped out from behind the counter. "Of course! Come this way!"

"You have a very nice home," Amber said politely as she tailed Marnie out of the shop's entryway and into the kitchen.

"Why thank you, that's very kind!"

Marnie led her to a back door in the kitchen and opened it, stepping through. Amber followed, and was greeted with the largest chicken coop she had ever seen. Granted, she hadn't seen very many chicken coops in her life, but this one definitely took the cake. There had to have been at least 50 brown and white chickens - some running around clucking, and others sitting nestled in their boxes. Amber's heart leapt as she breathed in the sweet scent of hay and examined her surroundings, her eyes landing on a man in the corner who was stroking a white chicken cuddled up on his lap. 

She'd seen him before, a long time ago at the saloon. He was the one who kept looking at her, and then looking away - the pepper lover. He had been tucked away in the shadows so it was kind of hard to see him, but here, in the brightly lit coop in the middle of the afternoon, she was able to get a much better look. His hair was disheveled, as if he had just mussed it up moments ago, and such a deep purple that it was almost black. His baggy eyes and 5 o'clock shadow made him look as if had never gotten a good night's sleep in his life, and the slight scowl he had on his face made her think that she was probably not far off. Her eyes flickered to his ratty jacket, the familiar Joja blue. She noticed, much to her annoyance, a giant "J" on the chest. 

_Is the dude in love with Joja or something?_

She turned her head away and followed Marnie to a large box full of chicks.

 

* * *

  
  
Shane's dark eyes watched Amber as she leaned over the box, smiling slightly at the chicks chirping away. He felt a slight sense of disappointment as her hair fell, hiding her face from view, but it disappeared quickly when she picked up a chick and straightened, holding it to her flushed cheek and nuzzling its tiny feathery body.  

Marnie looked on, amused. "How many are you thinking of buying?" 

Amber laughed, the sound ringing out like a sleigh bell throughout the coop. "All of them?" She sighed and put the tiny chick back down inside the box. "Uh, actually, I'm not so sure. My coop isn't too big, and I don't really know how to take care of them, so maybe two for now. I planned on going by the library tomorrow to find a book to help me out." She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled down at the chicks, flashing perfect white teeth. 

"That's a good place to start," Marnie nodded. "Shane over there," she said, gesturing to the man in the corner, "helps me out with the chickens sometimes. He can take yours to your place, help you get them set up and maybe give you a few tips."

Amber turned and looked at him with an intense gaze which set his hair standing on end. "That's fine with me."

"Great! Come with me and you can pay while Shane gets your chicks ready. Know which ones you want?"

"Doesn't matter to me," she shrugged.

"Alrighty, let's go then! You got it from here, Shane?"

Shane grunted affirmatively.

Marnie opened the door and stepped through, Amber following close behind. She glanced back, meeting his eyes once more before closing the door behind him, leaving him alone in the coop. Shane gave the chicken on his lap a little pat before setting it off to the side and standing with a groan. He grabbed the hay bale he was sitting on and went outside, throwing it into the back of the truck before re-entering the coop and doing the same with a second, then a third, fourth, and fifth. His final trip to the truck involved carrying a small bag of feed and a small basket which he had partially filled with hay, and two chicks - one of them being the one Amber had held in her hands just moments ago. When he was done, he came in through the front door of the shop.

His aunt was in the middle of talking when she interrupted herself. "Ah, here he is! He'll drive you to your farm and get you all set up. Hope to see you again soon!"

Amber gave a quick wave and followed Shane out the door. Shane climbed into the truck, and as she got in the passenger's side, he handed her the basket containing the chicks. He buckled himself up and started the truck with a roar, driving slowly and carefully toward her farm.

"So, you a Joja fan or something?"

Shane had been focused intently on the road in front of him, but couldn't help but snap his head toward her and gape, confused. "What?"

She reached over and pinched the fabric of his jacket, wiggling it. "This right here. Are you, like, in love with Joja or something?"

" _Fuck no_." Shane's gruff voice dripped with venom. "What kind of question is that? How the fuck can you be a fan of a chain store?"

"You tell me. You're the one wearing a Joja hoodie."

"It's for work."

Amber tilted her head, inquisitive. "You work in the city?"

"You live under a rock? There's a JojaMart _here_."

"Okay, man, there's no need to be fucking rude," Amber said, adjusting the basket on her lap. "Jesus."

Shane's grip on the steering wheel tightened.

_Here I go, pissing off yet another person in this fucking town. Why can't I just fucking keep my goddamn mouth shut?_

They didn't speak again until the truck pulled to a stop right outside the coop. Shane climbed out, looking around her farm. He came around here once in the months before she moved in, and it was completely overgrown - more like a forest than anything else. Now, it was all cleared up and looked like an actual farm.

_She did all this by herself?_

He shook his head.

_No fucking way. She must have hired some outside help or something. No way she did this all by herself, she's fucking tiny._

Amber stepped inside the coop and placed the basket of chicks on the ground before climbing into the back of the truck and lifting one of the hay bales.

"Hey, don't worry about it, I've got th -" 

Shane was cut off as Amber tossed it out over his head effortlessly. It landed with a loud  _thump_ on the ground. She rolled up her sleeves before lifting another one and looking at him impatiently. "You gonna help or stare?"

"Uh..." He stood there gawking, and Amber tossed the second bale out and grabbed a third before he came to his senses and climbed into the truck as well, tossing out the final two. Amber lifted her arms above her head in a stretch, and Shane's eyes flickered down to several inches of skin, now exposed and displaying taut muscles. He found himself staring for an inappropriate amount of time as she groaned and lowered her arms, the shirt sinking back down. She bent over and grabbed the feed bag and jumped out of the truck. Shane followed and had her put the bag down and take the chicks out of the coop.

"We have to lay some hay out inside the coop and in their nesting box." 

Together they each brought a bale of hay inside the coop and set them on the ground. Amber pulled out a pocket knife and cut the twine, loosening up the hay. She cut the other as Shane began to spread the hay out along the floor of the coop. Amber followed his lead and brought a handful of hay to the nesting box before he stopped her. 

"Just wait a minute," he said. He brought the chicks in and took them out of the basket. "Put the hay from the basket in their box." 

Amber obeyed, and when she was finished, he placed them inside. They cheeped happily and burrowed themselves into the hay.

"It's good for them to have something they're familiar with," he grunted, raking a hand through his hair, leaving it messier than before.

The two spread the rest of the hay inside the coop and stacked the remaining bales in the corner. Shane brought in the sack of feed and unloaded it into the automatic feeder. Afterwards, he checked both the lamps and the feeder to make sure they worked properly, and pleased with the results, shrugged. 

"Everything seems good here. You don't have to let them out until they've grown up a bit, but don't leave them alone all day. They'll get lonely. The feed is fine for now, we'll change it when they get older. You can also give them lettuce or bugs, they'll like that." He spun to go, his hand resting on the door of the coop. 

"Hey!" Amber said, grabbing the back of his sleeve.

Shane turned to face her. Her brows were furrowed, but upon meeting his gaze, her expression softened and she nodded once. 

"Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it."

He nodded in return and pushed through the door of the coop before getting in his truck and driving away.

 

* * *

  
  
That night, after checking for the 3rd time that the chicks were nice and settled in, Amber went inside, kicking her boots off at the door. She opened all the windows to let a cool, refreshing breeze in and went to the bathroom, peeling off her clothes and stepping into the shower. As she scrubbed the day's grime out of her hair, her thoughts were still stuck on her new chickens. Their itty bitty yellow bodies, and tiny little beaks? Just too adorable to handle! She tried to come up with some names, but nothing really sounded right to her.

_They're just babies, I have plenty of time._

She finished up her shower, then turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping herself in a towel. Instead of immediately drying off and getting dressed, however, she headed to her couch and lay the blanket out before reclining. The night air blew through the window, simultaneously chilling and drying her body, and she drifted off into her thoughts again... but this time they drifted to Shane. She closed her eyes and replayed the image of him running his fingers through his hair.  _God_ , that had been surprisingly hot. He seemed to be kind of an asshole, but he was  _hot_. She found herself wondering if he thought the same about her as she slipped her hand between her thighs and began to rub herself softly, her other hand kneading a breast. 

_I wouldn't mind seeing him again. In fact, I think I just might need to take a trip to JojaMart tomorrow._


	4. Curiosity

Shane's alarm woke him, and with it came a throbbing headache - the kind that made him feel like someone had cut into his skull and was bashing his brains with a sledgehammer over and over and over again. His near-nightly ritual of pounding a small child's weight in beer before passing out in bed in just his underwear led to the same result it always did, the only upside being that he didn't piss himself. He did, however, vomit in his trash can and apparently missed a little.  
  
Rolling over, he groaned as he opened a bottle of aspirin. He poured a few into his hand and downed them with the stale glass of water he had sitting on his nightstand. He stayed there that way, leaning on his elbow as he waited for the wooziness to diminish a bit before he allowed himself to roll onto his back to stare at the ceiling.  
  
After berating himself for his poor life choices, he began to think about Amber. Ahead of her arrival, he heard that there would be a new farmer in town and assumed it would be some middle-aged man deep in the throes of a mid-life crisis. Yet when she entered the bar and Gus called out to her, he saw that she was the absolute _last_ thing he expected the new farmer to be. To him, she looked like a flower among weeds, completely out of place. He couldn't help but just look at her either, even after she had caught him the first time. After the second time, however, he became too embarrassed to stick around and left even though he was barely buzzed.  
  
Amber came around the saloon almost every night after that, but paid neither him nor anyone else any attention, despite their greatest efforts. Emily, though, the sickeningly cheerful and friendly barmaid she is, never ceased in trying to make friends with her. Every night she would attempt to strike up a conversation, but Amber would say very little, sending her back to the bar, dejected.  
  
_A woman after my own heart_ , Shane thought fondly. Not that he'd ever say that to her face.  
  
Her face. He was well acquainted with it at this point - Her lashes fluttered long and black above gorgeous caramel eyes. Freckles sprinkled across her nose and cheeks as if someone aimed a paintbrush lightly coated with brown paint and flicked it at her. Her plump pink lips hid a brilliantly white smile which he rarely ever had the pleasure of seeing.  
  
She was beautiful. There were other girls in Pelican Town Shane considered attractive, sure, but Amber was on a whole other level. She was striking, she was glamorous, she was...completely not farmer material. At least he thought so until he saw the way she tossed the hay bales out of the truck without even breaking a sweat. She turned that place from a shit-heap into an actual, full-fledged farm, and did it all by herself. All Shane ever managed to do was get to work on time, and even then, just barely some days.  
  
Shane turned his head toward the clock. 6:40. Ten minutes had gone by, and he was still in bed. Amber was probably already out working in her fields by now - her long hair up in a ponytail, the sun hitting her bare neck, muscles flexing beneath her shirt, beads of sweat dripping down her suntanned skin... His hand crept past his boxers and grasped his dick, giving it a few slow pumps before there was a heavy knock at the door. His hand flew out, heart pounding.  
  
"Shane? You up?"  
  
_Goddamnit._  
  
"Yeah," he grunted, sitting up. "I'll be out in a few."  
  
The footsteps at the door retreated, and he swung himself out of bed. After pulling on a pair of pajama pants, he grabbed the cleaning spray from his nightstand drawer and sprayed the inside of his trash can, moving it aside to spray the floor and wipe up the mess with a few tissues and threw them away in the black garbage bag at the foot of his bed. He took the trash can to the bathroom and emptied it in the toilet before rinsing it with scalding hot water and returning it to his room.  
  
He grabbed his uniform off the foot of his bed and went back to the bathroom. He considered shaving, but he had already wasted enough time so he hopped in the shower and brushed his teeth there and hurriedly dried off and put on his much hated JojaMart uniform. He donned his cap and examined himself in the mirror on the back of the door.  
  
_Fuck my life._  
  
Shane stepped into the kitchen where he saw his goddaughter Jas sitting at the table, stuffing her face with Joja brand chocolate cereal, 'now with 20% more sugar!'.  
  
He tutted disapprovingly. "She doesn't need to be eating this crap."  
  
"You're free to get up earlier and feed her something better, then." Marnie snapped as she walked through the back door into the chicken coop to feed the noisy hens.  
  
Jas, in between bites of cereal, looked up at him. "Miss Penny is teaching us about butterflies today!"  
  
"That's great, Jas." Shane smiled, ruffling her hair before kissing her on the top of the head. "You're gonna have to tell me all about it later."  
  
"Will you be home early tonight?"  
  
Her sweet innocence hurt him to the core.  
  
"I don't know, kiddo. Maybe."  
  
She bounced up and down in her chair, her black pigtails swaying. "Please, please, pleeeeeeaaase!"  
  
"I'll do my best, okay?"  
  
Jas nodded rapidly like a bobble head during an earthquake. "Okay!"

 

* * *

 

  
Shane was several hours into his shift organizing canned beans when he heard Morris, his boss, greet a customer at the front of the store.  
  
"Welcome, welco-" Morris started, but was suddenly interrupted.  
  
"Fuck off." That voice sounded familiar. Was that Amber? What was she doing here? She sold her stuff to Pierre's, so right now she was at the competition. On top of that, she had never been here before - from what Shane learned, she didn't even know a JojaMart existed in Pelican Town until yesterday.  
  
_When I was a complete and total dick to her._  
  
Shane continued to line up cans of pinto beans until he felt a presence next to him. He turned his head to the side and slowly looked up the lithe form, pausing slightly at long fingers, a thin line of dirt lodged beneath the short nails gripping a book titled 'How to Raise Chickens.' Amber.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Amber scoffed. "You're polite."  
  
"I'm working."  
  
"And I'm a customer, so you should be helping me," she retorted, a smile playing on her lips.  
  
Shane rolled his eyes and stood eye-level to her. "How can I help you, _ma'am_?"  
  
"Uh-uh," Amber wagged a finger. "Actually, it's 'Welcome to JojaMart! What can I do to help you thrive?'" A fake smile lay plastered on her face and immediately fell with a shudder.  
  
"You a Joja fan or something?" he smirked.  
  
"Ugh. Not even close. Just being here makes me sick."  
  
His smirk melted into a frown. "So why are you here?"  
  
"I wanted to thank you properly for yesterday."  
  
A vision of Amber throwing the hay bales off the truck flashed through his mind before he cleared his throat. "I didn't do much."  
  
"Come on," she protested. "I know you go to the saloon sometimes, can I treat you to a few beers there tonight?"  
  
_She thinks I go there sometimes,_  he thought, amused for a split second before fully comprehending her request.  _This woman, who never fucking talks to anyone, wants to go out with ME. This has got to be some kind of a sick joke._

"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
_Because you're way too interesting to be hanging out with someone like me, that's why._  
  
"Because I don't want to."  
  
"Well I want to do _something_ to pay you back."  
  
"You can pay me back by leaving me the fuck alone."  
  
She blinked, flinching - Shane closed his eyes and shook his head.  
  
"I- I didn't-"  
  
"Okay."  
  
He opened his eyes. Amber's head was down, examining the book in her hands before looking up at him with a tight-lipped smile.  
  
"I'll leave you alone. Sorry for bothering you."  
  
She turned around, and as she walked away, Shane wanted to stop her. To apologize for being an asshole, and explain that he didn't mean to be rude, he just didn't know how to react in situations like this.  
  
Amber went up to the checkout counter and purchased what looked like, from what he could see, a candy bar before tearing open the packaging and taking a bite as she walked out of the store.

 

* * *

 

  
Around 9:42 that night, Shane stood in his bedroom and took off his cap, tossing it on his unmade bed. He quickly removed the rest of his uniform as if it were burning his skin, then pulled on the clothes he was most comfortable with - cargo shorts, a green Tunnelers gridball shirt, and finally, his well-worn jacket. He was made to stay late at work and unload boxes off a truck that had been running behind and stock the merchandise, so he was in desperate need of a drink. Or two. Or 10. He grabbed the 12-pack of Joja brand beer out from under his bed and quietly left the house.  
  
A couple hours later, he was 7 beers deep on the Cindersap Forest lake dock running a finger around the top of an unopened can when someone sat down next to him. He looked to the side, and through his slightly blurred vision saw it was Amber, her face shrouded in darkness by the hood of her jacket. She looked at him curiously as he lolled his head sideways.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Amber shrugged. "Just felt like a walk. Didn't expect to see you."  
  
They sat silently, Shane sipping on another beer before Amber spoke up again.  
  
"I know you said you wanted me to leave you alone, but since you're here...I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I did anything to, I dunno, piss you off or something. I'm not really very good with people."  
  
For a minute, he didn't respond. Then he reached over and pulled a beer from the cardboard box and handed it to her. "Here," he grunted.  
  
She hesitantly took the can and popped it open before putting it to her lips and taking several long, huge gulps, finishing it in seconds.  
  
He stared at her in drunken amusement. "Big drinker, huh? A girl after my own heart." The words he thought of earlier that day slipped out of his mouth before he could catch them, and his face flushed from more than just the alcohol.  
  
"I'm only a big drinker when the moment calls for it."  
  
"The moment calls for it now?"  
  
She turned her head and shrugged. "I think I feel like getting tipsy tonight."  
  
Shane handed her another beer, and she downed the second almost as fast as the first before leaning back and placing it next to the other empty cans behind him. He grabbed the last two beers and placed them beside her muscular bare legs. Shorts? Isn't she cold?  
  
_What the hell is going on? I was a complete asshole earlier but here she is, sitting next to me dressed like that._  
  
"You didn't piss me off."  
  
"Huh?" Amber's third beer paused by her lips and she lowered it slowly.  
  
He fiddled with the tab on his can. "You didn't piss me off," he repeated. "I'm just an asshole."  
  
She nodded. "Yeah, you kind of are." The beer went back up to her lips and as she took a drink, met his eyes. "But I kind of like it. Makes you different from everyone else in this town."  
  
"Are you retarded?"  
  
Amber snorted, startling him. "Maybe a little bit."  
  
He stared, shaking his head. "I don't get it. What's a girl like you doing here?"  
  
"I told you, I felt like a walk."  
  
"No, I mean this _town_. Heard you came from Zuzu City, why the hell would you leave?"  
  
She finished her drink before she covered her mouth and let out a quiet burp. "Well, right after high school, I worked as a cashier in Zuzu City JojaMart for a few years while I went to college getting my degree in Business. After that, I got a job at the HQ and spent 4 lovely years in a concrete box staring at a screen all day. I just grew so sick of that place, thought about putting a gun in my mouth most days. Thank god my grand-"  
  
"You worked at Zuzu City JojaMart?" Shane interrupted.  
  
"Oh. Uh, yeah."  
  
"I did too. Straight out of high school. Pretty much until I got transferred here which was a few months before you moved."  
  
Amber raised her eyebrows. "I wonder if we ever saw each other?"  
  
"I doubt it. I stayed in the back most of the time, unloading the trucks and stacking boxes onto platform carts for the floor people."  
  
"Well at least we have  _something_ in common," she said, nudging him.  
  
"You trying to be my friend?"  
  
She smiled coyly, her eyes flashing. "Maybe."  
  
Shane's heart gave a sudden single hard throb in his chest.  
  
"Uh, h-how are the chicks doing?" he stuttered, attempting to change the subject.  
  
Amber bit her lip before breaking out into her rare full smile. "They're awesome! I love them _so_ much! I feel guilty just being away from them right now."  
  
She opened the fourth and final beer.  
  
"You name them yet?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm," Amber hummed, nodding her head. "Pip and Squeak."  
  
"Those are... interesting names."  
  
"I wanted ones that matched how cute and tiny they are, even though I know they won't be that way forever." She leaned back onto her elbows and sighed, taking another swig.  
  
They sat there quietly for a while. Shane hadn't much touched his beer since she showed up, but Amber was already draining the last of hers and setting it aside. She sat back up, her hood falling down off her head, and for the first time that night, he got a really good look at her. The moon shone in her eyes and illuminated her face as she gazed up at the stars. Her hair was slightly messy from where the hood had rubbed up against it, but it didn't take away from how absolutely stunning she looked. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe it was something else, but he felt the shield guarding his heart lower the tiniest bit.  
  
_Stop it. You barely know her._  
  
He turned his attention to the lake below him. Although the moon was shining directly onto it, it was dark, like a bottomless abyss which called to him, attempting to seduce him into its depths. It reminded him of his reality - the reality that he's a 28 year old man stuck in a dinky town working at a grocery store, doing absolutely nothing with his life.  
  
"You ever feel like... no matter what you do, you're gonna fail? Like you're stuck in a hole trying to make your way out?"  
  
Amber looked at him, and sensing the mood had shifted, nodded somberly. "Of course. Every day."  
  
Shane finally finished the rest of his beer and squeezed the empty aluminum can before sighing. "I feel like no matter how hard I try... I'm not strong enough to climb out of that hole."  
  
Amber reached over and took the can from him before placing her hand on his. "Hey. You're not alone."  
  
Amber's hand felt hot on his skin, and even though he felt mildly uncomfortable at her sudden forwardness, he didn't dare move a muscle until the aching in his bladder became almost too much to handle. He stood, and started to place the empty cans inside the cardboard box.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Home. I have work in the morning."  
  
A flash of light appeared as Amber checked the time on her phone. "It's past midnight, and you're out here drinking when you have work tomorrow?"  
  
"Had a rough day," he said, grunting as he straightened himself.  
  
Amber shrugged. "Guess I'll leave too." She stood, immediately wobbling forward into Shane, smacking her forehead onto his face.  
  
" _Fuck_ ," he groaned, dropping the box on the dock as he simultaneously steadied Amber and grabbed his nose.  
  
"Oh god, are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
Shane bent back down and picked up the box before starting down the length of the dock. Amber followed, taking slow deliberate steps as if she were on a tightrope a hundred feet off the ground. He turned around, and watching her struggle, stuck out an arm which she grabbed gratefully.  
  
"I'll walk you home."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to..." she protested weakly.  
  
"If I don't, you might not make it there alive, and then who would take care of your chicks?"  
  
"Alright," Amber conceded, and Shane realized much too late that she didn't put up much of a fight.  
  
_Don't look into it, you idiot._  
  
They walked for a few minutes before Shane knew that if he didn't piss _now_ , he'd piss his pants in front of her, and he  _really_ didn't want to do that.  
  
"Hey, can you stay here a minute? I've really got to pee."  
  
Amber nodded, and he jogged away, hiding himself behind a tree before pulling out his dick and finally letting loose. Relief washed over him as he emptied his bladder, and he peeked back around the tree to make sure she was where he left her. With a shake, he put himself back in his shorts and jogged back, offering his arm once again.  
  
By the time they made it to Amber's farm, it was a little past 1 in the morning.  
  
_Work's gonna fucking suck_ , Shane thought morosely.  
  
Amber walked up the stairs to her porch and turned around. "Hey, thanks for walking me here. I really appreciate it."  
  
Shane ran his fingers through his hair. "It's nothing," he said, looking up at her and noticing that she was staring at him intently, biting her lip. "What's wrong?"  
  
She shook her head. "Nothing. Just... thanks. I'll see you!" She opened her door and disappeared inside, closing it before he could get a word out. The light flicked on inside, and through the curtain he saw her silhouette collapse on what he assumed was the couch.  
  
He turned, confused, and walked home. Once there, he went straight to his bedroom and shoved the box filled with cans into the black garbage bag, making a mental note to take it out in the morning. He took off his clothes and left them laying on the floor before pulling on a pair of athletic shorts and an old white t-shirt and stepped out to the kitchen to place a plate full of frozen pizza rolls in the microwave.  
  
After setting the time and pressing start, he leaned over the counter, resting his chin in his hands as he waited, thinking about Amber for the 10th time that day. He thought of the way she sat on the dock beside him, her bare legs just inches away from his own. The way she bit her lip as she looked down at him. The way she smiled when she said she was trying to be his friend. For some unknown reason, something about her made him feel like maybe he _did_ want to get to know someone in this godforsaken town after all, and that he wanted that someone to be her. _Maybe_.  
  
The microwave beeped, but he was in too deep to notice.


	5. Old Friends

About a month went by, and Amber's crops were growing fantastically, the losses minimal as she stayed completely on top of the weeding and repaired the scarecrows that had fallen apart during the winter. The chicks, however, were doing even better. They had grown used to Amber, to the point that when they heard the front door open in the morning, they cheeped excitedly until she entered the coop and sat down, bringing them into her lap.  
  
"Yeah, mama's here," Amber crooned gently as she brought a chick up to her face and kissed it on the forehead. "You're growing so fast!"  
  
She was happy. Living in Zuzu City, every morning was a complete and total drag. The minute her alarm woke her in the morning, she began to count the number of hours until she could go back to sleep. Here though, on this farm, in this tiny little town with only a handful of shops and less than 50 people, she woke up refreshed and ready to take on the world.  
  
The automatic feeder kicked into gear, trickling out only a tiny bit of feed before grinding silently for several seconds and shutting off. Amber set the chick down and peeked inside to see that it was empty.  
  
_Shit!_ She groaned. _I'm gonna have to go pick up another bag._  
  
Amber pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket and checked the time. 7:03. Marnie's shop wouldn't be open until 9, so she had to wait. She didn't want her chicks to be hungry, so she went inside and sliced a banana, bringing it back out and setting it on the floor of the coop. The chicks ran over and checked it out for a minute before pecking at it enthusiastically.  
  
_Thank god._  
  
Knowing that for now they were fine, Amber strolled along rows of cauliflower and potatoes, checking to make sure they had been properly watered by the sprinkler and that there were no new weeds poking through. By the time she was done, the time had just hit 9:15, so she pulled off her gardening gloves and placed them on the shelf in her shed. After grabbing her wallet from inside, she stopped by the mailbox and opened the grey metal door, pulling out a flyer decorated with tacky clip art of colorful eggs.

  
Dear Amber,  
This Saturday we are holding our annual Stardew Valley Egg Festival in the town square, starting at 9am and ending at 2pm.  
Hope to see you there!  
\- Mayor Lewis.

  
_God, another one of these._  
  
Amber shoved the paper back inside her mailbox and began her walk south toward the ranch.  
  
The last time she was there, Marnie told her that during shop hours, she could just walk right in instead of walking, so that's what she did. As she stepped through the door and approached the empty counter, she heard Marnie's voice call from the kitchen.  
  
"Dump all the old hay in the new compost pile, I need to cover the other one up!"  
  
She closed the door and turned to see Amber standing at the counter. "Oh! Amber!" She shuffled into the room and held out her arms, taking her into a hug. "It's so nice to see you again!"  
  
"It's nice to see you too," Amber said, patting her back awkwardly until Marnie pulled away.  
  
"You need anything, hon?"  
  
"Yeah, I wasn't paying attention and I ran out of feed. I need to buy a bag. Or two." She chuckled anxiously and shoved her hands in her jacket pocket.  
  
"No problem! You can pay here, and then go right on back and grab them. Shane's back there cleaning the coop, I'm sure he'd like it if you paid him a visit."  
  
_Huh?_  
  
"O-okay." Amber pulled out her wallet from her back pocket and handed over enough money for 2 bags of feed. After getting the receipt, Marnie nodded toward the kitchen with a smile.  
  
Amber folded the slip of paper and put it in her wallet which she slid back into place before walking toward the kitchen. She looked back nervously at Marnie, who had set a box on the table and was now perched on the stool shuffling through what looked to be hundreds of photos. Amber reached the back door and opened it, stepping through.  
  
Amber and Shane hadn't spoken to one another since their night on the dock. She'd seen him a few times walking to work as she made an early morning run to Pierre's, their eyes locking as he hurried past - pulling the cap low over his eyes as if he were embarrassed to be seen by her. But as far as conversation went, there was none. Just awkward glances and silence.  
  
Shane's back was to the door as he shoveled old hay from the floor of the coop into a a wheelbarrow. He didn't seem to know she was there as he continued to move without so much as a backwards glance. She noticed that while he seemed a little soft around the torso, his arms looked somewhat strong, and she watched the muscles flex as he shoveled another pile of hay and dumped it.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Shane snapped his head around, and upon seeing Amber, turned the rest of his body to face her.  
  
"Hey." He wiped the glistening sweat off his brow and nodded to her. "Been a while."  
  
"Yeah, I've been a little busy. The farm and all that..."  
  
This was awkward. The last time they were together, things weren't so bad, but now there was a thick tension in the air and it was stifling.  
  
Shane shifted his weight uncomfortably. "So what are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, uh... I ran out of feed back home," Amber said, jutting a thumb behind her, "so I came here to buy a couple more bags."  
  
"Need help taking them home?"  
  
"Oh, no, I've got it. Besides, you look like you're really busy, I shouldn't hold you up."  
  
She started toward the bag of feed, but stopped after a couple steps. "Why are you here anyway, shouldn't you be at work?"  
  
"Bathroom's busted," Shane said, grunting as he tossed another shovelful of hay into the wheelbarrow. "Legally, the store can't be open if there's not a clean bathroom for employees and customers to use. Though that didn't stop my boss from trying to keep it open anyway."  
  
Amber shook her head. "Fucking bastard."  
  
Shane chuckled, straightening himself. "You really hate that place, huh?"  
  
"Oh god, with the passion of a thousand burning suns." She strode over to the far wall and sat down on the bench, patting the hard wood. "Let me tell you a story."  
  
At first he hesitated, but then set the shovel aside and joined her, sitting as far away as he possibly could.  
  
"You can sit closer, I don't bite."  
  
When he didn't budge, she scooted down the length of the bench until their bodies were almost touching. He stiffened, and Amber saw a slight flush creep over his face. She found his nervousness oddly endearing, but decided to take pity on him and scooted away a few inches.  
  
"I didn't want to have to yell to talk to you."  
  
Shane cleared his throat. "So what's the story?"  
  
"Okay. So I had been working as a cashier for like a year, and came down with a pretty gross cold. Coughing, sneezing, terrible headache, the whole nine yards. I tried to call in, but they said if I did, they'd have to cut my hours." Amber paused, shaking her head in disbelief.  
  
"So I drank probably a little over a quarter bottle of cough medicine before coming in, and it helped a bit, but it also made me super fucking dizzy. I was blowing my nose every five minutes and used more hand sanitizer in those hours than I used in my entire life leading up to that point."  
  
Shane nodded sympathetically. "That sucks."  
  
"That's not even the end of it," Amber laughed bitterly. "I start checking this customer out, and she bought a lot of stuff. Like, 75,000G worth of shit. After I told her the total, she whips out this little baggy of coupons, and I'm like, 'Oh, here we go, one of these people,' and take the bag. I start looking through them and notice that they're all expired. So I tell her, 'Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but these expired two weeks ago.' She puts on this little puppy dog face and says, 'Come on, can't you make an exception just this once?'"  
  
Shane seemed to be fully invested in the story at this point, and leaned forward, his hands clasped together staring intently at Amber's face as she spoke.  
  
"I told her I couldn't do that, and that I would get in trouble with my manager. She starts to get angry at me, starts cussing me out as if I'd suddenly change my mind. At that point I had had enough, and just felt so goddamn bad. I put the coupons back into the bag and shoved it at her and repeated her total. She starts calling for a manager, shrieking that I had assaulted her. One of the floor managers rushed over and asked what the problem was, and she told them that I had refused to take her coupons and threw them at her face."  
  
"Jesus."  
  
"I tried to explain my side, but since JojaMart is all about making customers happy, they whisked me off the register and took me back into the office and laid into me. Ended up cutting my hours for a month and made me complete a week of customer service training."  
  
She sighed and leaned back against the wall. "So that's one reason out of hundreds why I hate that fucking place."  
  
"Yeah," Shane nodded. "Me too."  
  
Amber turned her head and looked at Shane affectionately.  
  
_He's really not so bad._  
  
"Hey, are you going to that stupid egg festival thing on Saturday?"  
  
Shane sat up, puzzled at the sudden change in conversation. "Uh, yeah. Are you?"  
  
"I don't know, I wasn't really thinking about it. What goes on there?"  
  
"Well, there's an egg hunt for the kids, although they let pretty much anyone join, and about 10 different egg-based dishes prepared by Gus."  
  
"Do the eggs come from you guys?"  
  
"Yeah, we're actually going to be delivering them to him Thursday night so he can get a head start."  
  
"That's pretty impressive."  
  
Amber waited patiently for Shane to continue, but when he didn't, shook her head, confused. "Wait, so that's it?"  
  
"That's it."  
  
"Sounds a little lame."  
  
"It is, but Jas loves it," he said, shrugging.  
  
_Jas?_  
  
"Who's Jas?"  
  
While previously relaxed, Shane suddenly became nervous and began to fiddle with a bit of hay as he stumbled out his answer. "Oh, uh... Jas is my g - "  
  
The door opened and Marnie peeked her head into the coop. "Oh, thank goodness you're still here, Amber!" She came through the doorway and approached the bench, holding up a photo. "Look what I found!"  
  
Amber leaned forward and examined the picture. A little boy and girl had their arms slung around each other's shoulders with smiles shining bright and white against the mud that was covering them from head to toe.  
  
She tilted her head, her brow furrowed in bewilderment.  
  
_That's me... but who's that other kid?_  
  
"Where did you get that picture?" Amber asked.  
  
It was Marnie's turn to be confused. "You don't remember? I took this _years_ ago, during the summer. Seems to be the only one I have of the both of you together."  
  
_Wait, that's HIM?_  
  
Shane took the photo from Marnie and examined it extensively before looking at Amber and touching it lightly with his index finger. "This is you?"  
  
"Yeah...?"  
  
"Oh, don't tell me you guys didn't recognize each other!" Marnie exclaimed incredulously. "I guess it makes sense, you _were_ really young, and it was such a small portion of your life." She sighed, taking the picture back from her nephew. "I'm going to go look through them again, maybe I missed one."  
  
The awkward tension that had just dissipated reappeared as Marnie closed the door behind her.  
  
"Well that was fucking weird."  
  
_That's an understatement,_ Amber thought.  
  
"Why were you even here?" he asked.  
  
"I was visiting my grandpa. I think it was the summer right before he died. That must have been when we... became friends?"  
  
"Your grandpa?"  
  
"Yeah, Michael Harris. The previous owner of Harris farm? I'm his granddaughter. He left me the farm in his will."  
  
"Shit, I thought you were just some city girl who got bored. You look so out of place here."  
  
"Gee, thanks."  
  
Shane rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "I didn't mean it like that."  
  
"It's all good, _friend_ ," Amber said, nudging him.  
  
"Oh come on, that was a long time ago."  
  
"Hey." She looked at him, her tone suddenly serious. "Friends are _forever_. I know you don't like me that much, but you can't get rid of me that easily."  
  
Shane mumbled something that she couldn't hear, so she asked him to repeat himself.  
  
He raised his voice, his eyes flickering up toward her face then down at his hands. "I _said_ , I like you just fine."  
  
Amber felt as if that small confession had been extraordinarily difficult for him to say, so she decided that it was probably time to go - if not for his sake, then for her chicks'.  
  
"Alright," she sighed, getting up and walking over to the feed bags. "I'll leave you to it." She picked up a bag of feed and looked at it helplessly for a moment as she realized there would be absolutely no room in her arms for a second. With embarrassing hesitation, she lifted her head, her eyes meeting Shane's. He was now standing and watching her with a raised eyebrow as if he were amused that the strong, independent farmer girl was actually having trouble.  
  
Without a word being said, Shane stepped to the door of the house and opened it, calling out to Marnie.  
  
"I'll be right back, gonna help her take these home!"  
  
Amber and Shane each picked up a bag of feed and brought it outside, placing it in the bed of the truck before climbing in the cab. As they drove past the edge of Cindersap Forest, Amber turned to look at him. He seemed to sense her gaze, glancing at her anxiously before putting his eyes back on the road.  
  
"What are you looking at?"  
  
She sighed, feeling sentimental. "I can't believe it was _you_ I played with out here. Lots of things have changed, haven't they?"  
  
Shane didn't answer. Instead, he gave a slight nod, and she noticed that the tight grip he previously had on the steering wheel had softened.  
  
As they drove, Amber reflected back on those days. She was so young then, and it had been so long at this point that she could hardly remember a thing. What stuck out most in her mind though, was that the highly energetic and carefree boy she used to play with and the man sitting beside her were two completely different people. It made sense that over the years, people would change - Amber herself obviously wasn't the same - but the difference between young Shane and adult Shane was so stark, so shocking.  
  
_What the hell happened between then and now?_  
  
After pulling up next to the chicken coop, Amber hopped out of the truck and climbed into the back, handing both bags of feed to Shane who carried them into the coop. When she entered, he was kneeling next to the feeder, filling it with heaping handfuls before rolling the bag shut and setting it against the wall.  
  
"The chicks look good," he said, nodding in approval. "That book must have been helpful."  
  
"Actually, it wasn't. It mostly told me all about adult chickens, and obviously that isn't much of a help right now. I just followed your advice." She smiled, trying to meet his gaze, but he just stared straight at the chicks as they chased each other, chirping loudly.  
  
About a minute went by and Shane sighed, giving his thighs a single hard pat before standing. "Well, gotta get back. Finish cleaning the coop."  
  
Before he could turn around and leave, Amber took a step forward, her heart pounding, and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Just like she suspected, he was soft, and smelled so much like hay that she was convinced it was a natural part of his being.  
  
"Thanks again for helping. You're really going to have to let me pay you back... other than leaving you the fuck alone. I think, considering our history, that's not really an option at this point. Friends forever, remember?"  
  
She let go, stepping back - and for the first time since meeting him, a small but genuine smile appeared on his face. "Yeah, I remember."


	6. Egg Festival

It was Saturday morning, the day of the Egg Festival, and Amber decided she was going to spend it relaxing at home. After all, Shane had made the whole event seem like a terribly boring one designed for children, and being as she was neither a child nor had one of her own, she didn't much see the point in going.  
  
After sleeping in for an extra hour, she headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. As she brushed her teeth, she considered, just for a moment, attending. It was just a little past 7 at this point - if she hurried up, did her chores, took a quick shower and got dressed, she'd be there just a couple hours after it started and wouldn't miss too much of it.  
  
_No, that's stupid. What would I do anyway, just stand around doing nothing? Eat some eggs?_  
  
_You could always hang out with Shane. He said he'd be there._  
  
_Yeah, but he'll probably be busy, I don't know, with his aunt or something. I don't want to bother him. I'm just now getting him to warm up to me, why would I screw it up?_  
  
Amber spat and rinsed her mouth.  
  
_I might go to the next event, whatever that is. But not this one._  
  
She grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet and went outside, switching on the sprinklers as she headed to the coop.  
  
_I have GOT to get me some automatic ones. Won't save me much time, but still._  
  
Pip and Squeak were cheeping as she entered, gathering around her feet. She carefully stepped over them and sat down, cross-legged on the ground, watching as the chicks lost interest in her and went to their feed dish, pecking at it for a few minutes before bouncing back to her again. Amber pulled off a bit of her granola bar and gave each chick a piece.  
  
"Little treat for you guys. Don't ask for _any_ more, you got it?"  
  
She sat, petting the chicks as she ate her breakfast, crinkling up the wrapper and shoving it into her pocket when finished. She gave the chicks a final pat and a kiss before leaving the coop and heading to the shed.  
  
After sliding on her gloves, she headed to the rows of parsnips and kale and began to dig them out of the earth with her trowel. She placed them inside the wheelbarrow, going back and forth between the crops and the shipping box until she was finished.  
  
The large wooden crate was over half full of vegetables, and as Amber stood, looking over her farm with her hands on her hips, she felt an overwhelming sense of pride.  
  
_If things keep going the way they're going, this will be my most profitable season yet._  
  
Being that her work for the day was completed, she returned her supplies to the shed and went back inside, getting dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt before falling onto the couch and turning on the TV, flipping through the channels.  
  
The Queen of Sauce... _meh._  
  
Livin' off the Land... _ugh._  
  
Fatal Revenge... _terrible._  
  
Nothing seemed interesting, and before long, she was back to The Queen of Sauce, who was just starting a lesson on how to make an omelet.

_  
This is such a simple dish, but so often done incorrectly! A perfect omelet is a thing of beauty. It's a pure golden angel of gleaming egg, and I'm going to show you my secret method..._

  
"Oh, come on," Amber groaned. She picked her phone up off the table and checked the time. 11:27. 

 _Fine. FINE. I'll go._  
  
She got up off the couch with a sigh and headed to the bathroom where she took a quick shower, washing only her face and body before getting out and rifling through her closet, a towel wrapped around her body.  
  
_What do I even wear to a thing like this? Eh, it doesn't even really matter, I'm not trying to impress anyone._  
  
She ended up settling on a pair of her nicest blue jeans and a short sleeved, robin's egg blue button-up shirt. She considered wearing her boots, but decided they'd throw off the whole outfit, so instead she put on a pair of white sandals and hoped that the walk wouldn't make them too dusty. After braiding her hair and applying on a little makeup, she opened the door and started down the path toward town.  
  
Amber hoped that when she arrived at the festival, everyone would be in their own little groups, too distracted to pay any attention to her. She also hoped that even if they _did_ notice her, that maybe, after a year of ultimately ignoring them, they'd leave her alone. Unfortunately, today was shaping up to be an unlucky one as she was almost immediately swamped by several people at once.  
  
"Farmer Harris! It's so nice to finally see you at one of our town events!"  
  
"Miss Amber, I'd love to pick your brain about your thoughts about the use of pesticides on crops."  
  
"You grew such lovely cauliflower last spring, so much better than JojaMart's! You're growing it again this year, right?"  
  
Amber looked at each one of their eager faces and considered turning around and going back home. In fact, she almost did until she saw Shane leaning up against a tree, looking off into the distance. She was both surprised and unsurprised at him being alone, and decided that if she were going to talk to him, now would be the chance.  
  
"Excuse me," she said politely, pushing through the small crowd around her, leaving them speechless.  
  
She approached Shane, and upon seeing her, he stood up straight. Compared to the other times she'd seen him, he looked almost like a completely different person - clean shaven, and, like her, wearing jeans with a similarly colored button-down shirt.  
  
"Well, _one_ of us is going to have to go home and change, and it's not going to be me," she jested, smiling.  
  
Shane didn't return her smile. Instead, he looked somewhat panicked, his eyes flickering between the people that were now watching them before settling back on her. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you weren't coming."  
  
"I wasn't, but I had nothing better to do, so I decided to show up. Why does it matter?"  
  
Shane turned his head, rubbing his neck. "It doesn't."  
  
"I can leave, if it'll make you feel any better. You seem to look a little uncomfortable with me being here."  
  
He looked like he had something to say, but instead stayed silent.  
  
Amber nudged him in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Did I miss anything interesting? Is there any food left?"  
  
"No, and no." His words came out terse, and she almost gave up on him before he suddenly began to chew on his bottom lip, his brow furrowed as he stared straight ahead. If Shane had been acting uncomfortable before, that was _nothing_ compared to the way he was now. Amber followed his gaze and saw Marnie coming toward them with a pig-tailed little girl of about 7 or 8.  
  
"I didn't think you were coming!" Marnie said with a smile as she took Amber into a hug.  
  
"It was sort of a last-minute decision."  
  
Marnie got a good look at Amber and Shane's matching outfits and chuckled. "Did you co-ordinate this?"  
  
"Oh, no, it just sort of happened."  
  
Amber looked down at the little girl. She was pretty cute, wearing a sparkly pink dress with matching pink egg clip-on earrings. The girl gazed up at Amber shyly, half-hiding behind Marnie. She knelt down so she was eye level and stuck out a hand.  
  
"Hi, I'm Amber. What's your name?"  
  
The little girl hesitantly took Amber's hand in her own and gave it a tiny shake before dropping it back to her side. "Jas," she mumbled.  
  
"That's a very pretty name! By the way, I love your dress, it makes you look like a princess," Amber said, smiling softly.  
  
Like the flip of a switch, Jas stepped out from behind Marnie, a wide grin plastered on her face. "Thanks! Shane picked it out for me! You want to see me spin?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Jas stepped off to the side, and with a deep breath, spun around several times, her dress billowing out around her until she slowed to a stop. "Isn't it cool?"  
  
"Heck, yeah!" Jas's excitement was contagious, and Amber couldn't keep herself from smiling like an idiot.  
  
"You're really pretty," Jas said suddenly. "I want to look like you when I grow up."  
  
"Jas, that's... really forward of you," Marnie said nervously, patting the girl on the shoulder.  
  
Amber's hand flew to her chest. "Oh no, it's okay!" she said to Marnie. Then, to Jas, "Thank you so much!"  
  
"You're welcome!"  
  
A small, red-haired boy about Jas's age ran up and started tugging on the little girl's arm. "My mom said the egg hunt is about to start! Come on!"  
  
With a nod from Marnie, Jas ran off, hand in hand with the little boy toward the town square. Amber stood, dusting her jeans before turning to Marnie.  
  
"Your daughter is just too cute, Marnie."  
  
The joyful smile that had just been on Marnie's face suddenly fell, her eyes shifting to Shane who was staring intently at the ground, his foot sliding back and forth in the dirt.  
  
"Did I say something wrong?"  
  
Shane stopped and looked up, his gaze meeting Amber's. "She's actually mine."  
  
"Oh." Amber was mortified and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.  
  
"She's not my _real_ daughter," he added on quickly. "She's my goddaughter. My best friend's kid. Something... happened, so she came to me."  
  
"Oh, god, I'm  _really_ , _really_ sorry."  
  
"It's fine. Anyway, she's still family," he said, smiling faintly as he watched his goddaughter chase her friend around the town square.  
  
"Well, Shane... Your daughter is just too cute."  
  
Shane focused his attention back to Amber.  
  
"Seriously, that girl is _adorable_... and not just because she complimented me," she said, smirking.  
  
All of a sudden, a voice rang out from the middle of the square. Lewis, in his typical attire of suspenders and newsboy cap stood on top of a crate and called to the townspeople.  
  
"It's time now for the festivities to come to an end with the Annual Spring Egg Hunt! Those of you who are participating, come into the square and collect your baskets!"  
  
Everyone made their way over to the square, but only a few went into the center, including several adults, one of which Amber recognized as Pierre's daughter. She had seen the purple-haired girl stock the shelves from time to time, but other than that, she had never learned her name nor even spoke a word to her.  
  
The children were jumping up and down, squealing, and Lewis smiled down at them under his thick white mustache. "Calm down there, kiddos! You're going to need all that energy if you want to find the most eggs and take home the exclusive prize!"  
  
He surveyed the group. "Is everyone ready?"  
  
"Yes!" they all shouted.  
  
"Then let the egg hunt begin!" He blew a whistle, and the group scattered in all directions and immediately started grabbing eggs.  
  
The town erupted into hoots and applause, including Amber who cheered exclusively for Jas. The little girl ran around frantically, but seemed to be having trouble finding even one egg. Amber glanced sideways at Shane to see that he was pointing wildly at whatever eggs he saw in an attempt to help her, letting out a small whoop whenever she found one. Amber couldn't help but smile, even after Shane caught her looking at him.  
  
When the 20 minutes were up, Lewis blew his whistle once again, signaling the end of the hunt. The competitors gathered back in the center of the square for a count. Jas rocked nervously on her heels, pinching the fabric of her dress as she waited for the results.  
  
A few minutes later, Lewis's voice boomed. "The winner of this year's egg hunt is... Abigail!"  
  
Pierre's daughter, the young, purple-haired woman, jumped with joy as Lewis presented her with her prize, which was... a straw hat?  
  
"Well _that's_ a shitty award," Amber mumbled snidely, eliciting a chuckle from Shane.  
  
Jas ran up to him with tears in her eyes. "I lost again!" she whined.  
  
"Hey, it'll be okay..." Shane's brows knit together as he held her, patting her back as she cried.  
  
Amber hated it when kids cried. It didn't really annoy her like it did other people, it just made her feel useless. To her, kids were just little people with big feelings - feelings that they have no idea how to handle, and she always felt an overwhelming desire to help them as they struggled.  
  
She watched the scene, scouring her mind for anything she could do to help until she saw, out of the corner of her eye, a souvenir stand.  
  
"I'll be right back," she told Shane, who turned his head to watch her go, confused.  
  
When she made it to the stand, Pierre, who was on the other side, was in the middle of packing up the merchandise. He paused to look at her, intrigued.  
  
"Why hello, Amber. It's nice to see you outside of the store."  
  
Amber ignored his small talk, her eyes landing on the small, pink, plush bunny in his hand.  
  
"How much is the rabbit?"  
  
"Oh. Uh, 2000G."  
  
Amber reached into her back pocket for her wallet, her heart sinking as she felt nothing but the fabric of her jeans.  
  
_Oh, no._  
  
"Could I pay you back tomorrow? I promise I will, I just need to get this NOW."  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
" _Please_. It's important," she said, her eyes wide and pleading.  
  
Pierre hesitated, but ended up nodding his head and handing her the plush rabbit.  
  
"Thank you so much!" she yelled behind her as she ran back to Shane and Jas.  
  
Jas was no longer crying, but her eyes were red and her lower lip was slightly stuck out in a pout. She eyeballed Amber curiously as she approached with her arms behind her back.  
  
"I have something for you."  
  
Jas and Shane looked at Amber expectantly. With a smile, she whipped the plush bunny out from behind her back and held it out to the little girl. "Here."  
  
Jas stood there, her eyes glued to the rabbit but her hands stuck to her sides, so Amber knelt down to her level and nodded the bunny's head as if he were talking and said in a high-pitched voice, "Please take me home, Jas! I love you!"  
  
Jas reached out and snatched the rabbit from Amber's hands, hugging it tightly. "Thank you!" she said, before catching the eye of her friend and chased after him, holding her new rabbit in the air. "Vincent, look what I got!"  
  
Shane stared at Amber, astounded. "You... you're amazing," he said, shaking his head. "How did you know what to do?"  
  
Amber flushed at his words before smiling sadly, watching Jas from afar. "I mean, I used to be a little girl. Girls her age eat that shit up. She should be able to enjoy it for as long as she can, because one day that magic won't work anymore."  
  
Being as it was the end of the festival, Marnie decided to take Jas back home, and not-so-subtly suggested to Shane that he should walk Amber to her farm.  
  
As they took their first steps onto her land, Shane stopped. Amber turned to see him looking at the ground, then up at her.  
  
"Hey, uh... thanks for not freaking out about Jas... and for being so nice to her. A lot of people our age aren't really into kids."  
  
"Is that why you were acting so strange? Because you thought I'd be weird around her?"  
  
"Little bit."  
  
Amber's expression softened. "She's a sweet girl, Shane. I kind of want to be her best friend."  
  
A smile twitched in the corner of his mouth before re-forming into straight line. "Sometimes I wonder I wonder if I'm screwing up. Screwing _her_ up."  
  
"Well, considering I only saw her for like an hour, I'm not an expert, but it really seems like you're doing a good job. I wouldn't worry too much."  
  
Shane remained silent, staring awkwardly down at his feet.  
  
"Hey, you wanna come see the chicks?"  
  
His head snapped up, and he nodded.  
  
_God, he's so fucking easy._  
  
She led him into the coop, where he knelt down and immediately brought the chicks to his chest with one hand, petting them with the other.  
  
"So which one is which?"  
  
"Honestly," Amber said, laughing, "I have no clue. I was hoping that I'd be able to tell the difference between them when they get a little older."  
  
"I can tell you the differences now, if you want."  
  
Amber pondered for a moment before shaking her head. "Nah, I'll wait. Give them their names as a gift when they come of age."  
  
Shane chuckled and set the chicks down, watching them hop excitedly around the coop.  
  
"Hey, do you have a phone?"  
  
He looked up at her, confused. "Yeah, why?"  
  
"Well, we're friends, but we don't even have each other's numbers. Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?"  
  
Shane shrugged, and turned back to the chicks until a phone appeared under his face.  
  
"You put your number in mine, and I'll put my number into yours."  
  
He lifted himself up off his legs and pulled his phone from his back pocket, handing it to her and taking hers.    
  
Amber opened Shane's contact list, and was amazed at how few people there were.  
  
**JojaMart**  
**Marnie**  
**Miss Penny**  
  
Shaking her head, she added her name to the list, making a grand total of 4 numbers - **Amber** 🐤  
  
After returning each other's phones, he examined her entry and looked up at her, clearly puzzled.  
  
"I put the emoji there so you don't get me confused with all the other Ambers you have in your phone."

 

* * *

 

  
Later that night, Shane lay on top of his comforter, his head spinning as he had just finished the last beer in the carton under his bed. He was about to fall asleep when he suddenly remembered to plug his phone in. As he did, the screen popped on and showed that he had a missed text from Amber that was a couple hours old.

  
**Good night, chicken boy**

  
His heart thudded, and before he had a chance to stop himself, his thumbs clumsily typed out a message and pressed send.

  
**Night, chicken girl**


	7. (Un)Happy Birthday, Shane

In the two weeks since the Egg Festival, Amber had been so busy working that she neglected to go shopping for groceries. All there was in her cabinets and fridge were some vegetables from her farm, half a loaf of bread, a bit of milk, and a few eggs. She contemplated going to JojaMart - mostly so she could bug Shane into helping her find everything she needed - but ultimately decided against it. She wouldn't sell her soul _that_ easily. Instead, she grabbed her wallet and canvas shopping bag and begun the trek to Pierre's.  
  
At this point, spring was now a little over halfway over, and so far Amber had surpassed her monetary expectations for the season. With that, though, Pierre's shop was slowly filling up with her produce, causing her a slight bit of concern that there was too much supply and not enough demand - and that Pierre would start buying less and less from her, overrunning her home with fruits and vegetables.  
  
_No matter how much I love potatoes, I do not want to have a house full of them._  
  
Amber couldn't help but think that maybe she should have taken Lewis's advice a year ago and made friends with  _everyone_  in town instead of just a few people. Maybe by now, JojaMart would be out of business and she'd be the hero of Stardew Valley.  
  
_Hindsight's a bitch._  
  
She finished her shopping and was just sliding her bag of groceries onto her shoulder when the shop door opened and Marnie stepped inside.  
  
"Amber!" Marnie approached her with a wide grin and pulled her into a tight embrace.  
  
Amber couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "How's it going, Marnie?"  
  
"Oh, just here getting stuff for Shane's birthday tomorrow. I'm making him his favorite dish," she said with a wink.  
  
"His birthday is _tomorrow_?"  
  
"Oh, did he not tell you last night?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Amber and Shane had talked on the phone the night before, their topics ranging from the chicks, to how much JojaMart sucks, then to how overwhelmingly friendly everyone in town seemed to be. At no point during their hour long conversation did he mention the fact that his birthday would be in two days. She wasn't surprised, though. He didn't seem to be the type of person to make a big deal about his birthday, and neither was she.  
  
"Well then, would you like to come over tomorrow morning and help me cook for him before he goes to work? He's usually not scheduled for the weekends, but one of his co-workers called out so unfortunately he has to cover. He usually leaves a bit after 7."  
  
Amber adjusted her bag as she thought about it.  
  
_I DID just get done planting my short-term crops yesterday, and the rest won't be done until the end of the season, so it shouldn't be an issue..._  
  
"Yeah, sure," she nodded. "I'll be there. Should I bring anything?"  
  
"Just yourself! Try to make it around 6:00, he usually doesn't get up until 6:30 or later which will give us plenty of time." Marnie's face became concerned - she reached out and rested her hand on Amber's shoulder. "That's not too early for you, is it?"  
  
"Oh, no, it's fine! I'll be there."  
  
"Alrighty," Marnie said, her wide smile returning. "Don't let me hold you up, I'm sure you're very busy!"  
  
With a wave, Amber went out the door and headed home.  
  
That night, she went to bed earlier than usual but ended up tossing and turning for hours, unable to fall asleep.  
  
_It's just a birthday. He's just a friend. Why is this such a big deal?_  
  
When she finally did succumb to slumber, it felt like only a few minutes before 5:15am came and her alarm blared, waking her up.  
  
She hopped out of bed, showered, and took great care in getting dressed and making herself up - painstakingly going through each item of clothing. In the end, she decided to leave her hair down in waves, put on the tiniest hints of makeup, and threw on a grey low-cut top with black skinny jeans and brown ankle boots. She wanted to look good, but she also wanted to look as if she HADN'T stood in front of her closet for an hour searching for the most innocent-yet-sexy clothes she owned.  
  
It was still dark outside when Amber quietly knocked on the front door of the ranch house. Almost immediately, Marnie opened the door and held a finger up to her lips, beckoning her inside. She tiptoed into the house, gently shutting the door behind her and followed Marnie into the kitchen.  
  
"So what are we making? Amber whispered.  
  
Marnie didn't answer. Instead, she held up a long green pepper.  
  
_Of course_ , she thought, nodding. _He's the pepper lover, after all._  
  
Together the women sliced the peppers with gloved hands, filled the halves with cheese, and coated them with breadcrumbs before frying them until they were a lovely golden-brown color. Marnie and Amber had it timed perfectly so that when his alarm went off, they'd be just about to plate the poppers, having them hot and ready for his immediate consumption.

 

* * *

 

  
Shane woke up to a familiar smell, just a minute before his alarm was set to go off.  
  
_Mmmm.... pepper poppers...? No... No way... I'm still asleep..._  
  
His eyes stayed shut for a few seconds longer until his alarm rang loudly, startling him. As he leaned over and silenced it, he heard the sound of popping oil and realized that the scent  _wasn't_ a figment of his imagination after all.  
  
_Must be Marnie's gift to me. I told her not to worry about it. Ugh... 28 years old today... feel much older than that._  
  
He grunted as he sat up. It seemed to be that with each passing day, it became harder and harder for him to get out of bed in the morning. Part of it was likely due to the fact that once again, he had drank himself to sleep the night before. And like some kind of drinking lottery, this morning there was no vomit to clean out of his trash can, no piss-soaked sheets, and only a mild headache instead of a pounding one.  
  
The glass on his nightstand was empty, so he palmed a couple pills and walked to the door, his feet slapping on the hardwood floor. When he stepped through to the kitchen, he was greeted with the sight of his Aunt Marnie and... Amber... standing directly in front of him, big cheesy smiles on their faces.  
  
"Happy Birthday!" the women cheered. Marnie grabbed his arm and pulled him to sit at the table where a plate full of pepper poppers sat.  
  
"You sit right here and don't leave until you have finished _every single one_ of these," Marnie said, kissing him gently on the top of his head and going out the back door to the chicken coop.  
  
Amber sat across the table from him, staring expectantly as he looked from the plate to her, and back again. "They're gonna get cold," she warned.  
  
He tossed the pills into his mouth and took a drink of water from the cup on the table before picking a popper off the plate and taking a bite. The popper exploded with an intense flavor in his mouth, and he let out a quiet, satisfied moan. "Myu mame fis?"  
  
Amber rolled her eyes. "I can't understand you."  
  
Shane swallowed and repeated. "You made this?"  
  
"I mean, I helped your aunt. They're pretty easy to make," she said, shrugging.  
  
"They're the best I've ever had."  
  
"You're just saying that."  
  
"Did you have one?"  
  
When she shook her head, he picked up a popper and held it out toward her. "Here, try it." Shane expected her to take it, but instead she leaned forward over the table, giving him a full view of her chest and grabbed it with her mouth instead.  
  
Since remembering his past with Amber and officially befriending her, Shane had tried to suppress any and every sexual thought about her - feeling as if they were disrespectful... but at that moment, _all_ of that went out the fucking window. She was bent over, popper in her mouth, looking at him with those goddamn beautiful eyes, and something deep inside him began to ache. He was suddenly grateful that the table was hiding his lower half from view.  
  
Amber plopped back into her seat and chewed the popper while laughing, covering her mouth with her hand. "I guess I should have taken it from you, huh?"  
  
_God, I'm glad you didn't._  
  
"Yeah, that probably would have been easier."  
  
As he picked up another, Amber spoke up, nodding toward the door.  
  
"Hey, I'm gonna go back there for a few and help your aunt with the chickens. Use it as a learning opportunity and all that good stuff. I'll be right back!" She stood, and Shane watched her out of the corner of his eye as she walked toward the back of the kitchen, her long hair swinging with each step. She looked over and smiled at him before opening the door and stepping through.  
  
As soon as the door was shut, Shane inhaled the popper, rushed to the bathroom, and started the shower.  
  
_If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was on purpose_ , he thought as he slowly started to stroke himself - his other arm outstretched, hand touching the cool, tiled wall.  
  
He closed his eyes and brought himself back to that moment. Her mouth wrapped around the pepper popper... In his mind, he replaced the popper with himself. He imagined her bobbing along the length of his shaft - running her soft tongue all around the tip, hungrily licking up every drop of pre-cum. He imagined her muffled moans as he tangled his hands in her hair, pushing himself down her throat.  
  
Shane himself had to muffle his own moans as he began to stroke faster, the embarrassingly filthy fantasy bringing him way too quickly to the edge.  
  
He imagined how  _fucking_ hot would it be to pull out of her mouth, her full lips parted slightly in arousal, eyes wide and wanting as he decorated her gorgeous freckled face with thick, warm spurts of his cum.  
  
Shane hunched forward slightly - biting his lip and breathing hard through his nose as he came.  
  
With that done, he showered normally and then stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist as he dried his hair with another one. He was surprised to see Amber sitting at the kitchen table, another damn pepper in her mouth.  
  
"They're really good," she mumbled before eyeing him up and down. He suddenly felt self-conscious and a little bit guilty at what he'd just done.  
  
"Hurry up and get dressed, we have something to do before you go to work."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You'll find out as soon as you get dressed."  
  
After completely drying off and putting on his uniform, he stepped out into the kitchen once again. Amber was in the middle of washing the dishes, placing the clean ones in the dish drainer. It felt weird, seeing her do such a normal, domestic activity when all he'd seen her do before was lift and throw things that weighed as much as she did. He didn't realize she was done until she turned around and noticed him staring at her.  
  
"Hey, I put your food in the fridge. _Don't_ microwave them. Whenever you want to eat them, just bake them for a bit and they'll be fine." Amber paused, taking in his uniform. "I do not miss wearing that shit."  
  
She brushed past him and headed toward his room.  
  
Shane panicked. "Whoa, what the hell are you doing?"  
  
Amber paused at the door, smiling mischievously. "What, something in there you don't want me to see? Some _undies_ , perhaps?"  
  
"It's just... a bit of a mess," he murmured.  
  
"Oh, I can deal with a mess. You should see my room on its worst days."  
  
She opened the door and stepped in. Shane stood there for a moment, expecting her to run out with a strange, judgmental look on her face. Instead, she called out, "You coming?"  
  
He hesitantly re-entered his room to find her expertly dodging piles of dirty laundry and old beer cans on her way to his closet.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Amber grinned, her hand on the door of the closet. " _We_ are going to celebrate your birthday at the saloon after you get off work, and _I_ am picking out your clothes. You're not wearing that damn jacket tonight."  
  
Shane stood by her as she flipped through his small wardrobe. She found a plain black tee and the blue jeans from the Egg Festival and tossed them on the bed. Then she knelt down and started going through his shoes, settling on an old, lightly beaten up pair of red canvas shoes. She looked up at him, holding her finding with pride.  
  
_She must know what she's doing._  
  
It was almost the same view he had imagined in the shower, except the biggest difference is that his dick wasn't in her mouth. But Amber, being eye level with it, looking up at him the way she was, her tits almost on full display sent another surge through him - he whipped around before he poked her in the face through his pants.  
  
"Looks fine," he grumbled.  
  
Amber stood and turned him toward her, he prayed she didn't look down.  
  
"Come home immediately after work. Get dressed in that stuff. Come get me," she demanded.  
  
Shane nodded.

 

* * *

 

  
That evening, Amber sat perched on the edge of the couch, waiting nervously for Shane's footsteps on her porch, his knock on her door. She had her phone in hand, about to call and see where the hell he was, when she heard him thump up the stairs and give a quick knock before stepping back. She shoved her phone in her pocket and grabbed her purse, hanging it across her body before switching the light off and opening the door.  
  
When Amber picked his clothes out earlier that day, she didn't expect that he would end up looking as good as he did. No, not good... fucking _hot_. She suspected he knew it, too, because he seemed to have a slight air of confidence surrounding him as he stood there on her porch, tousling his hair.  
  
She bit her lip. _Oh, this is gonna be a GOOD night._

Amber watched in real time as Shane's confidence disappeared the second they entered the saloon. He rubbed his neck anxiously, staring at the floor as he led Amber to his usual spot.  
  
"2 beers please," Amber told Emily. "On me." She slapped some money down on the table and turned to Shane with a sly smile.  
  
"You don't have to do that," Shane protested.  
  
"Uh, yes, I do. It's your _birthday_ , so shut up and enjoy it."  
  
Emily slid the beers toward Shane and Amber, unsuccessfully hiding a smile.  
  
"Look at her," Amber leaned over and whispered in Shane's ear, keeping an eye on the barmaid. "She's so excited about us hanging out right now. She literally cannot keep a straight face."  
  
Shane's eyes flicked around the saloon. "She's not the only one watching us," he mumbled.  
  
Amber sat up, noticing for the first time since entering, that nearly everyone in the building had their eyes glued on her. "Oh. _Shit._ "  
  
"Yeah," Shane said, chuckling into his beer. "Shit."  
  
"Was this a bad idea?"  
  
"Maybe. You're a little bit of an enigma around this town."  
  
"I would have just bought a couple packs and invited you over if I knew this would happen."  
  
"Give it a few minutes, they'll get bored."  
  
They didn't. Not even after Amber and Shane had been in the saloon for 30 minutes at that point did the stares and whispers stop.  
  
Amber turned away from the crowd, facing Shane fully. "Does this not bother you?"  
  
"I'm not the one they're paying attention to."  
  
" _Why_ , though?"  
  
Shane tilted his glass back, draining the last drop before setting it down and nodding to Emily for another. "They did the same shit when I first showed up - I just told them to fuck off. After that, it was like I didn't exist."  
  
"That's a little harsh."  
  
"But it worked."  
  
Amber sipped at her beer and tried to be like Shane - smooth and uncaring, but it wasn't working. She couldn't do it.  
  
"I need to go outside. Get some air."  
  
"Oh." Shane lowered his glass. "Alright. Want me to come with you?"  
  
"No, I'll be back in a few. I just - I need a break."  
  
She got up from the stool and rushed toward the door, feeling everyone's eyes on her as she stepped out into the night and closed the door behind her - rushing down the steps and putting her back to the wall.  
  
_Why? Why can't they just leave me alone, mind their own business? It's been a year, isn't that enough of a "fuck you"?_  
  
Amber looked around for a place to hide, somewhere she wouldn't easily be noticed.  
  
She headed toward the back of the saloon, but as she turned the corner saw that there was already someone there. He was tall and thin, and clad entirely in black. His hoodie, jeans, motorcycle boots, even his hair which flopped down across his eye were as dark as the night surrounding them.  
  
_That's... Robin's son, right?_  
  
Amber had seen him emerge from his basement bedroom a time or two when she visited to discuss construction on her farm, but she never got more than just a passing glance. He stood against the wall and lit up a joint, taking a deep drag.  
  
_That's exactly what I need._  
  
"Hey."  
  
He jumped, putting his hand behind his back.  
  
"Hey," he echoed.  
  
"I'm Amber."  
  
"I know."  
  
_Of course. Everyone does._  
  
"Do you mind if I take a few hits? I'm losing my mind in there."  
  
He chuckled, pulling the joint from behind him and handing it to Amber. "Sure, here."  
  
"What's  _your_ name?" Amber asked as she put it to her lips, sucking in the thick smoke.  
  
"Sebastian."  
  
"Well thanks for this, Sebastian," she said, handing it back. "I haven't smoked in over a year. God, I missed it so much."  
  
"Then you better be careful, this stuff is a little strong." Sebastian warned.  
  
"No, I need it, trust me." She sat down on a crate, feeling a fog slowly overcome her.

 

* * *

 

  
Amber had been outside for about 15 minutes, and the ecstatic expressions Emily had been giving Shane just a short time ago had turned to ones filled with pity.  
  
_Where the hell is she?_  
  
Shane considered waiting just a little bit longer, but he couldn't stand looking as if he'd been abandoned, so he got up from his stool and stepped outside. He expected Amber to be sitting on the benches in front of the saloon, but as soon as he started to walk around the tall bushes to check, he heard the sound of her laughter coming from behind the building.  
  
He quietly made his way back, and as he peeked around the edge, he saw Amber and Sebastian - the guy several years younger than him that apparently never wore anything other than black - sitting side by side. Sebastian passed Amber a joint, and she took a couple small hits, holding it in her lungs before handing it back.  
  
"You good?" Sebastian questioned in a low voice.  
  
Smoke poured out of Amber's nose and mouth as she chuckled, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. " _Real_ good." She let out a small cough and smiled. "I am thoroughly baked. Almost dangerously so."  
  
"I told you it was strong." Sebastian smirked and extinguished the joint, placing it in a little baggy and stuffing it into his hoodie pocket.  
  
Shane was wondering how Amber even knew the guy, let alone got to the point where she seemed so comfortable with him when Sebastian suddenly leaned over her, raking his pale, slender fingers through her hair.  
  
Amber looked up at him, confused. "What are you doi - _mmph_!"  
  
She was silenced when Sebastian brought her head forward and pressed his lips to hers.  
  
Shane's stomach dropped, his blood turning to a rush of ice in his veins.  
  
After a few seconds, Amber gently pushed Sebastian away and stood. "Listen," she said softly, looking down at him, "I'm flattered, but I don't really know you."  
  
"You're a city girl, isn't that what's fun about it?" He got on his feet and grabbed her hips roughly, kissing her once again.  
  
Amber broke the kiss and placed a hand on Sebastian's chest, keeping him at arm's length.  
  
"That was  _not_ fucking okay. You don't _do_ that to someone!" she whispered loudly, fuming.  
  
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I was getting a vibe from you, and thought you wanted it."  
  
"For future reference, when a girl pushes you away even _one time_ , that means she doesn't want it. I'm going back in. Thanks for the weed."  
  
Shane hurriedly ran to the front of the saloon, and stood by the door. When Amber rounded the corner, he feigned surprise at her appearance.  
  
"I just came out to look for you."  
  
"Yeah, sorry," Amber sighed. "I was in the back smoking it up with that guy Sebastian. Hope that doesn't bother you."  
  
Shane shrugged. "Nah, it's cool."  
  
_Except for how he pushed himself on you twice._  
  
"Didn't know you knew him," he continued.  
  
"I don't really, just met him." Amber started up the short staircase to the door when she looked back to see Shane still standing with his back against the brick wall. "Hey, come on. Let's go back in and finish getting you so drunk that they'll have to airlift you home."  
  
As he gazed at her cocky smile, he found himself  _really_ wanting to take her up on her offer. However, after what he just witnessed, Shane knew there'd be no way that he could be around her without drunkenly bringing it up and ruining the entire night.  
  
"Actually, I think I'm just gonna go home. Not feeling so hot."  
  
"Oh." Amber's face fell, and for a second, he regretted turning her down. "Well then, let me walk you back."  
  
"Shouldn't I be the one walking you?"  
  
"Hey, you walked me home that one night. It's only fair that I return the favor."  
  
"I'm fine. _You_ , on the other hand, could barely stand. Didn't want you to fall in the lake."  
  
"Whatever, come on, let's go."  
  
Their walk back to the ranch was quiet except for a comment from Amber about how nosy the townspeople were and a grunt of agreement from Shane. When they arrived at the front door, he approached it without a word and put his hand on the knob, turning it.  
  
Amber's hand flew out to touch his shoulder, stopping him. "What, that's it? Not even gonna say goodbye?"  
  
"Don't feel good."  
  
"Okay, well... Happy Birthday, Shane." She stepped in front of him and shyly threw her arms over his shoulders. He stood still for a few moments, hesitating before returning the hug - wrapping his arms around her waist. It felt surprisingly good, being so close to her, and for a moment he forgot why he was even upset in the first place until he got a whiff of her hair - the smell of weed coming at him like a freight train.  
  
Amber's head shifted, and she placed a small kiss on his stubbly cheek before pulling away. "Hope you get to feeling better." With a small smile and a wave, she turned and began to walk toward her farm.  
  
Shane stood stunned a minute, the kiss a warm spot on his face. When he finally opened the door and stepped inside, he went straight to the bathroom and took a piss before heading toward his room and shutting the door quietly. After stripping off all his clothes and changing into pajamas, he reached under his bed to grab a beer, only for his fingers to be met with air. He flipped on the light, lifted up his blanket, and saw nothing but a few crusty socks and an old beer can.  
  
" _Fuck_!" he whispered sharply, pounding the floor with his fist.  
  
For a minute, he thought about going back to the saloon - facing the judgmental stares as he came back to drink alone - but remembered the small bottle of whiskey he had hidden on the top-most shelf of his closet.  
  
Shane usually didn't drink whiskey. He was a beer drinker through and through, but he kept the bottle there in case there came a day where he needed something a little bit stronger or happened to run out of his usual drink of choice. Today was that day. He stretched his arm out and ran his hand along the surface of the shelf. When his fingers touched the cool plastic, he pulled it down, unscrewed the cap, and took a small drink - the liquid burning like fire as it made its way down his throat and into his stomach. He staggered backwards, falling onto his bed, closing his eyes - his brain playing a loop of Sebastian kissing Amber, and her pushing him away.   
  
He took a drink. _I should have went outside with her._  
  
Another drink. _He wouldn't have even kissed her in the first place._  
  
Another drink. _She just pretended nothing had happened._  
  
Another drink. _I'm such a piece of shit._  
  
Another drink. _Why do I care so much?_  
  
"Why do I care so much?"  
  
"Why the _fuck_ do I care so much?"


	8. Spark

Walking down the long dirt road toward her farm, Amber felt strange. No, that was a severe understatement. She felt... fuck, she didn't know  _how_ she felt. Stoned out of her fucking mind, for sure. Definitely confused.  
  
Shane said he didn't feel good - but he was fine when they were drinking, and he was  _more_ than fine when he was standing on her porch, reeking of confidence. She didn't buy it. It was a classic excuse, one she had used several times herself to get out of some creepy dude's house or a date gone wrong.  
  
There was something more to it. The more she thought about it, the more she was able to narrow it down, and soon she had two options. One, he hated that she was with Sebastian, or two, he hated that she was smoking weed.  
  
Still, though, why the hell would he even care?  
  
_I'm a grown woman, I can make my own choices._  
  
She shook her head.  
  
_I don't know. Maybe it's something else. God, HE'S the one that's an enigma._  
  
The only thing she knew for sure as she walked up the steps to her house was that she was fucking _starving_.  
  
After going straight to the freezer and throwing a burrito in the microwave, Amber took a sealed bag of chips to the couch and ripped it open, putting each crisp in her mouth slowly and deliberately as she popped on some Sennheisers, feeling the bass from the music transport her to another realm.  
  
At some point, she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, she felt a rough hand on her shoulder, shaking her awake. She shrieked, a nearly-empty bag of chips falling to the ground as she sat up, heart racing. She was still a little high, and looked up deliriously at the dark shape staring down.  
  
"Shane?"  
  
Amber stood, setting her stuff on the coffee table and squinted at him in confusion. "What're you doing here?"  
  
Without a word, Shane pulled her into his arms - one hand resting on the back of her head while the other grasped her hip.  
  
_He's so goddamn drunk._  
  
She patted his back awkwardly. "You okay? I thought you were sick."  
  
"I'm so sorry," he mumbled into her hair.  
  
"Sorry for what?"  
  
"The kiss."  
  
Amber dislodged herself from his grip and put her hands on his shoulders, peering into his face. "What are you talking about, Shane?"  
  
"I saw that fucking Sebastian prick kiss you, and I saw you push him away."  
  
"You're not making any sense. Why would that make you sorry?"  
  
"I'm fucking sorry because I should have went outside with you. If I had, he - he wouldn't have even had the chance."  
  
"It was just a kiss..."  
  
"Two kisses."  
  
_Jesus, how long was he standing there?_  
  
"Okay, it was just two kisses."  
  
"Ones that you didn't want."  
  
Amber bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. "It's okay, Shane. I'm not too worried about it. I've had plenty of meaningless kisses in my life."  
  
Shane's head flopped down toward his chest.  
  
"Seriously, are you okay?"  
  
He hiccuped. "I'm really, really drunk."  
  
"I know, you're a mess," she said, straightening him. "And you're staying here with me tonight. There's no way I'm sending you home like this."  
  
"Mmkay."  
  
"Here, sit down for a sec." She held his arm lightly, guiding him to the couch. He fell heavily into the cushions, groaning, and Amber froze.  
  
_Please don't puke, please don't puke, please don't puke..._  
  
Shane's eyes seemed to be floating in his head, unable to focus on anything for more than a second before moving elsewhere.  
  
"I'm gonna get you a glass of water, okay?"  
  
"'Kay."  
  
She practically ran to the kitchen, tapping her foot anxiously as she filled the glass with water - then ran back, liquid sloshing over the sides and onto the floor.  
  
"Here, drink all of it."  
  
He brought the glass to his mouth and began to drink. He drank as if his lips were numb - water spilling out onto his shirt, soaking it. When he was done, he held the glass loosely in his hand and looked up at her.  
  
"I have to piss."  
  
_Oh._ Okay.  
  
She took the glass and placed on the coffee table. "Here, I'll take you there," she said, and grunting, pulled him up to a stand.  
  
The walk to the bathroom seemed to take forever, but when they finally made it, Amber flicked on the light, causing them both to squint. For the first time, she noticed that he was in an old t-shirt and sweatpants. Before, she assumed that he had went back to the saloon after leaving him, but apparently not.  
  
_Guess he got drunk at home._  
  
"It's bright," Shane mumbled as Amber bent down to lift the toilet seat.  
  
"I know."  
  
"You gonna leave?"  
  
"I'm afraid if I do, you'll fall forward and bust your head on the toilet and kill yourself. I kind of want you to live, you know?"  
  
Shane grunted, throwing his head back as he lowered his hands to pull his dick out. Amber looked away.  
  
" _Please_ make it in the toilet. I don't want you pissing all over the floor."  
  
"I got it. Chill, Amber."  
  
True to his word, the first sound she heard was liquid hitting liquid. It seemed as if he was a pro at taking a piss while completely smashed, and for a second, Amber thought about how strange of a skill that is to have.  
  
When the sound ceased, she looked back to see that he was still standing there with his face to the ceiling, eyes closed, penis still in hand.  
  
"Dude, you gotta put your dick away."  
  
He didn't move.  
  
"Shane."  
  
No reaction.  
  
" _Shane!_ "  
  
He jerked, dropping his head down and gazing at her through droopy eyelids.  
  
"Jesus, did you just fucking fall asleep?"  
  
" _Mmm_... yeah."  
  
Amber shook her head, then stepped forward. Staring straight at his face, she stretched his waistband out and grabbed his wrist, wiggling the hand holding his dick until he let go.  
  
_This is just like taking care of a toddler._  
  
She led him back to the couch and went to her room, grabbing her pillow and comforter off her bed and brought it back to the living room, settling him in.  
  
"Hey... thanks," he said, his eyes fluttering shut.  
  
Amber went to the other end of the couch and laid down by his feet, her legs resting alongside his as she covered herself up with the comforter. There was no way she was going to leave him alone on her couch in that condition - not unless she wanted to risk having a dead man in her house come morning.  
  
She gave him one final look before resting her head on the arm of the couch and closing her eyes.  
  
_Night, you idiot._

 

* * *

 

  
Shane woke up with a pounding head, a bursting bladder, a hard dick, and something solid sliding across his thigh.  
  
_What the fuck?_  
  
His eyes shot open and he noticed that he was absolutely  _not_ in his bedroom. The walls were wooden instead of covered blue wallpaper. He was on a cream-colored couch, not in his bed. He was not alone.  
  
He sat up. Amber was by his feet, fast asleep - her hair a tangled mess, partially covering her face.  
  
Shane went through last night's events in his head: He was home, drank the whiskey, walked to her house, stood on her porch, and then after that... after that, _what?_ _What the hell did he do?_ They were both wearing clothes, so they definitely didn't fuck... Why would she fuck him anyway after the way he had indirectly ditched her? Not to mention, he was a goddamn mess, and she was gorgeous - even in the morning, with disheveled hair and makeup smeared across her face.  
  
_I gotta get out of here._  
  
Amber's legs were tangled among his own and as he tried to move, her foot shifted and brushed against his erection.  
  
_Oh, god._  
  
He snapped his head up, making sure she was still asleep before moving again. Slowly, very, very slowly, he lowered his left leg off the couch and settled his foot on the floor - right on top of a bag of chips.  
  
The sound of crinkling polypropylene and crunching chips startled Amber awake. She turned her head toward the sound, her eyes landing on him as she swept her hair off her tired face, sitting up.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"H-hey."  
  
"You feel alright?"  
  
How the fuck was he supposed to answer that? He felt many things at once right now - exhausted, sick, hungry, in pain, embarrassed, and a little aroused.  
  
"Got a little headache."  
  
"Oh, let me get you some aspirin." Amber flung the comforter off her legs and stood.  
  
"Don't worry about it, I'll just get some at home."  
  
"You were  _completely_  wasted last night, you're not leaving until you get some food and coffee in you!" she called, walking into the kitchen.  
  
He sat patiently staring at his hands, listening to the sounds of her sink running and the shaking of a pill bottle. She re-entered the living room and handed him the glass of water and 4, small, red tablets.  
  
"Brought you a double dosage because I'm pretty sure you have more than just a  _little_ headache."  
  
Amber was right, his head was fucking killing him. He tossed the pills in his mouth all at once, and drank deeply, draining the glass. When he was done, he handed the empty glass back to her waiting hand and mumbled out a quiet "thanks".  
  
"Go take a piss and then come in the kitchen. We need to talk," she said, her brow raised.  
  
Like a kid on his way to the principal, Shane walked shamefully toward her bathroom and peed. As he washed his hands, he peered at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and bloodshot, the bags underneath darker than usual. He never really liked the way he looked, but today he fucking  _hated_ the image staring back at him.  
  
_God, I look like complete dog shit._  
  
"Hurry up," Amber called from the other side of the door, making him jump. "I gotta pee too."  
  
He turned the faucet off and wiped his wet hands on his sweatpants before opening the door. Amber pushed past him and shut the door.  
  
Shane walked toward the kitchen, but seriously considered leaving. Just head home and avoid the whole conversation which he absolutely knew was going to kill him. Amber was fast though, and was out of the bathroom before he knew it - her long hair thrown up in a bun, face freshly washed and radiant. She gave him a small smile as she strode past him, pulling out a chair and motioning for him to sit.  
  
"Ham and cheese omelet alright?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, that's fine."  
  
He watched her as she worked. At first he didn't expect much, but she moved through the kitchen as if she had grown up in one - slicing, whisking, and flipping with ease. It was almost like watching a ballerina on stage. She was light, stepping from the stove to the counter and back again quickly and... beautifully.  
  
God,  _everything_ she did was beautiful. Throwing hay bales, washing dishes, drinking beer, fuck, even getting _kissed_ somehow made her look radiant.  
  
_What the fuck is wrong with me?_  
  
It had been a long time since Shane felt this way toward a woman. A feeling more than just brute lust. Admiration. Infatuation. A... crush.  
  
Rachel. Beautiful, kind, caring Rachel. _She_ had been the last woman to  _really_ make Shane feel like this. The last woman he wanted to kiss, to caress, to hold, to whisper sweet nothings to before planting himself deep inside her. Unfortunately, Rachel happened to be married to his best friend, Eric, and happened to have Eric's kid who in turn also happened to be Jas, his goddaughter. The whole thing was a fucking mess, and no matter how much he liked her, he absolutely could never act on his feelings.  
  
Did he have a chance with Amber? Maybe. She was single, for one. She put up with his bullshit. They bonded over their hatred of Joja and the people of this town. She didn't seem to realize how much of a disgusting drunk he was... or maybe she did, and didn't care. Would that make her just as fucked up as him? Maybe.  
  
Maybe, maybe, maybe.  
  
It all depended on how this talk played out.  
  
Amber set his plate and fork down in front of him along with a mug of black coffee.  
  
"I've got sugar and creamer if you want any."  
  
"No, thanks."  
  
"Hot sauce?"  
  
He looked up. She held a large glass bottle labeled 'Calico Desert Habenero Sauce' with a huge smile, shaking it from side to side, the scarlet liquid sloshing within.  
  
"Come oooon, I know you want it!"  
  
Shane's mouth twitched into a small smile. "Yeah, sure."  
  
"It's my absolute _favorite_ ," she said, handing the bottle to him and watching with anticipation as he dribbled it across his omelet. "Go ahead! Try it!"  
  
He cut into the egg, cheese oozing out gently onto the plate before stabbing it with his fork and placing it in his mouth.  
  
"It's good, right?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm."  
  
Content, Amber turned her attention to the plate in front of her. "So," she said after taking her first bite and swallowing. "Time to talk about what happened last night."  
  
Shane's blood ran cold, his fork pausing in midair.  
  
"Do you remember what happened?"  
  
He lowered his hand, shaking his head.  
  
"It's not too long of a story, so it'll only take a minute." She held her coffee mug in her hands, breathing in deeply before taking a sip. "I left you at your house because you said you were sick. I come home, fall asleep, then wake up to you shaking the hell out of me. I ask you what's up, and you start mumbling how you're sorry because Sebastian kissed me."  
  
Shane dropped his head, his face flushing.  
  
"I was like, 'this dude is drunk as hell' so I told you that you'd be staying the night. I made you drink a glass of water, took you to the bathroom, and stood there while you pissed."  
  
He lifted his head. "What? Why?"  
  
"You were _gone_ , Shane. Didn't want you hurting yourself. Anyway, after peeing, you literally fell asleep standing up, holding your dick. I had to help you put it back in your pants."  
  
"Oh, fuck..." Shane said, covering his crimson face with his hands. "This is so goddamn embarrassing..."  
  
"After that, I put you on the couch. Didn't want to leave you alone, so, like you saw, I slept on the other end." She took another sip and looked up at him, waiting for him to speak.  
  
"I'm so sorry. I - I..." he shrugged, not knowing really what to say. "That was fucked up."  
  
Amber finished chewing before she spoke. When she did, the glare she gave Shane was so intense that he felt his stomach begin to twist into knots. "It was. It was a little fucked up. I tried to take you out for your birthday, but then you bailed by claiming you were sick. You think I've never heard that excuse before? Never  _used_ it?"  
  
Shane's head returned to his hands. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.  
  
"So the conclusion that I have come to is that you were, for some reason, upset because some guy I've never met stupidly decided to kiss me. Am I right?"  
  
"I - I don't know..."  
  
"I think you  _do_ know, Shane."  
  
_Fuck her. Fuck her for putting me on the spot like this. What am I supposed to say? That I'm jealous because that fucking emo prick got to know what it's like to kiss her?_  
  
"Shane?"  
  
He looked up. Amber's expression had softened - she reached out, taking his hand in hers.  
  
"I get it. You're a good guy. But I'm a big girl, and like I told you last night, it was just a meaningless kiss."  
  
_What?_  
  
She gave his hand a squeeze and turned back to her plate. She was done talking now, leaving him to sit and stew in her words. For some reason, he felt like she let him off way too easily.  
  
The rest of the meal finished somewhat awkwardly for him, and by the time he was done, Amber was completely back in her usual peppy mood.  
  
"Hey, you got any plans for today? Wanna hang? I've got something that I planned on watching after doing my work, if you wanna join."  
  
Shane grabbed the sides of his chair, scooting it in as Amber took the plates to the sink and began to wash them along with the other morning dishes.  
  
"Actually, I gotta go home pretty soon... Marnie's probably wondering where the hell I'm at. I also promised Jas I'd spend the day with her, watch a movie before she goes to bed."  
  
"What movie?"  
  
"Agents of Space? I dunno, some stupid kid's movie that just came out."  
  
Amber turned abruptly, her hand gripping a soapy dish. "No way. That's what I was going to watch!"  
  
"You're into that kind of crap?"  
  
"Uh, _yeah_. The studio that makes those movies are genius!"  
  
"Oh." Shane rubbed his neck, watching Amber's back as she rinsed the dishes. "Well... then do you wanna come over later and watch it? I mean, since you planned on it anyway..."  
  
"What time?"  
  
"Dinner's at 5, so any time after that. Unless you wanna join us for that too, then you can come earlier."  
  
"How's 4?"  
  
He shrugged. "That's fine."  
  
"Alright, it's a date."

 

* * *

 

  
Shortly after Shane left for the ranch, Amber changed into her work clothes and went outside to the coop. Pip and Squeak were cheeping loudly, rubbing their bodies against the coop door.  
  
"I know, I know, I'm late!"  
  
The chicks had only been in her lap for a few minutes when Amber looked up to see a figure walking up the stairs to her house and knock timidly on the door. She peeked through the wooden slats to see the figure was tall, thin, and dressed in black - Sebastian.  
  
_What's he doing here?_  
  
She set the chicks aside and stepped out of the coop. Hearing the creaking of the door, Sebastian whipped around, his hands sitting firmly in his back pockets.  
  
"Oh. I thought you were inside."  
  
"Nope, I'm out here." She walked up to the porch and put a hand on her hip. "What do you want?"  
  
"I just wanted to apologize for last night. That... wasn't me."  
  
"Oh?" she said, crossing her arms.  
  
"I had just confessed to the girl I like, and she turned me down, so, I don't know, I just did something stupid."  
  
Amber dropped her arms to the side, feeling a bit of sympathy. "Yeah, I get it. I've done that a time or two before. It just didn't go as bad as your attempt did."  
  
He nodded. "Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry. I'll let you get back to... whatever it was you were doing." He turned and started to walk down the steps.  
  
"Hey, wait."  
  
Sebastian stopped, looking up at her.  
  
"Where do you get your weed?"  
  
"I've got a contact in Zuzu City."  
  
"Mind giving me his info?"  
  
He thought for a moment before shrugging. "I can just sell directly to you, if you want. I usually buy a lot, and I'm always carrying."  
  
"Even now?"  
  
"Even now."  
  
"Well, come in, then. Smoke me up. Maybe I'll think about giving you my business."  
  
Amber led Sebastian inside and settled deep into the couch, watching Sebastian sit beside her and pull a joint from his pocket and light it - taking a couple hits before passing it to her.  
  
"So that girl you were talking about. She live in town?"  
  
"Yeah. Abigail. Pierre's daughter," he elaborated, taking the joint back from Amber. It paused briefly on his lips when he took another hit. "We've been friends for a long time, and... it's just one of those things, you know?"  
  
"Why'd she turn you down?"  
  
"She said she didn't want to ruin our friendship," he chuckled quietly, smoke pouring out his nose.  
  
Amber sucked air through her teeth. " _Ouch._ "  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well," she shrugged, taking the joint from Sebastian, "it could be worse. She could be fucking your best friend."  
  
"If I didn't know how obsessed Sam was with Penny, I'd be afraid of that."  
  
_Sam? Penny? God, I really need to stop being a hermit._  
  
Amber sighed. "Well, maybe you just have to give it a little more time. Show her that you're someone special."  
  
"Yeah, maybe." He rubbed his forehead. "Mind if I smoke a cigarette in here?"  
  
"That's fine."  
  
Sebastian pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his hoodie pocket and knocked one loose, putting it between his lips and lighting it. "Want one?"  
  
"Only thing I smoke is weed."  
  
"I feel you," he said, nodding.  
  
"You can use that glass as an ashtray," Amber said, realizing that he had nowhere to knock his ashes.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Mmmhmm."  
  
They sat there smoking quietly a moment before Sebastian spoke again.  
  
"So what's up with you and Shane? You guys together?"  
  
"Nah, we're just friends. Actually found out like a couple months ago that we hung out one summer here in town when we were little kids. Sort of picking up where we left off, I guess."  
  
"I'm surprised, the dude is kind of a dick. No offense."  
  
"He's not that bad once you get to know him... which admittedly seems like a hard thing to do for the average person."  
  
"He doesn't really give people a very warm welcome."  
  
"I've noticed. Wish I had his balls."  
  
Sebastian chuckled. "Yeah, the people around here are pretty... enthusiastic."  
  
"That's putting it mildly. They're downright presumptuous."  
  
After finishing his cigarette, Sebastian put his number in Amber's phone.  
  
"Just hit me up whenever you want some. I'm always available."  
  
"I'll probably be hitting you up pretty soon, then," Amber said, smiling slightly. "Thanks again, man."  
  
"No problem. See ya."  
  
After Sebastian left, Amber rushed through her chores as fast as possible, a difficult task being as high as she was. It was 4:42 by the time she was knocking on the bright red door of the ranch house.  
  
_I'm so fucking late._  
  
The door opened within seconds, and Amber looked down to see Jas peering up at her, a wide toothy grin on her cute little face.  
  
"You're here!"  
  
"You knew I was coming?"  
  
"Shane told me! Come on, I want you to see my room!"  
  
"Oh, okay!"  
  
Amber pulled the door closed and followed Jas through the left side of the house into her bedroom.  
  
It was... very pink. Her bed was in one corner, covered in bright pink sheets - the pink rabbit from the Egg Festival lay on top of her pillow. Shelves nailed into a light pink walk adorned with hearts were topped with pink princess figurines. A pink dollhouse sat flush against the wall. The only things that  _weren't_  pink was the giant blue teddy bear at the foot of her bed and the man sitting near the dollhouse, a male doll in his hand.  
  
"Wow, your room is so pretty!" Amber lied.  
  
"Thanks! Me and Shane were playing dolls, you wanna play?"  
  
"Uh, _duh_!"  
  
Amber lay down on the floor next to Jas and took the doll offered to her - a half bald blond woman wearing a green dress.  
  
"Okay, Shane, you be the dad, Amber can be the mom, and I'll be the baby!"  
  
Amber wasn't entirely sure how to proceed, but decided to wing it. She bounced her doll across the floor toward Shane's. "Hi, husband, how was your day?" she asked in a high-pitched tone.  
  
"It was nice, wife, how was yours?" he responded in a low voice.  
  
Amber gasped. "It was _terrible_! Our baby, Jas, pooped  _everywhere_ and I had to clean it all up!"  
  
Jas broke out into a fit of giggles, then stuck her doll's butt out and made loud farting noises with her mouth. Shane snorted suddenly, causing Amber to bury her face in the carpet in an attempt to stifle her laughter.  
  
When the laughter died down, Jas gasped loudly and looked back and forth between Amber and Shane. "Make them kiss!" she squealed.  
  
Amber scooted her doll close to Shane's and very slowly moved its creepy, unblinking face close to his before slamming them together repeatedly.  
  
"No, not like that!" Jas groaned.  
  
She took both dolls and gently tapped their faces together making light kissing sounds. " _Mwah, mwah, mwah!_ " She handed the dolls back, exasperated. " _That's_  how you do it."  
  
"Thanks for teaching me how to kiss, Jas. I had absolutely  _no_ idea," Amber said, sharing a coy smile with Shane.  
  
Jas beamed proudly. "You're welcome."

 

* * *

 

  
After a wonderful dinner of grilled chicken breast with mushroom gravy and green beans, Marnie excused herself to her bedroom while Shane, Amber, and Jas headed into the living room.  
  
"Movie time, movie time!" Jas cheered, jumping on the couch.  
  
"Come on kiddo, get down! You know better than that," Shane said sharply, pulling the movie down off the shelf.  
  
She stopped, sitting down with a frown. "Sorry..."  
  
Amber fought a smile and sat down next to her.  
  
"You excited to see Agents of Space?"  
  
"Yes!" Jas exclaimed, her enthusiasm back in full force.  
  
"Me too! Did you see Star Fighters?"  
  
Shane groaned loudly. "She's seen that movie probably a million times. Which means  _I_ have seen that movie a million times."  
  
" _Me too_ ," Amber whispered secretively to Jas as Shane joined them on the couch, remote in hand.  
  
Halfway through the movie, Jas fell asleep. Somewhere before the end, Amber had fallen victim to slumber as well - waking to Shane gently shaking her. She sat up, sore, and looked to her side to see a sleeping Jas, mouth wide open, laying across Shane's lap.  
  
"Help me get this girl to bed?"  
  
Amber nodded, then stood and shook Jas's shoulder. She sleepily opened her eyes.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Hey, sweetie. It's time to go to bed," Amber whispered softly.  
  
"I don't wanna."  
  
Shane and Amber chuckled as he stood, sending her sliding to the floor. She lay there helplessly until he pulled her up to her feet.  
  
"Come on."  
  
He led the drowsy Jas into her bedroom, Amber following close behind. After tucking her in, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Love you," he said softly.  
  
"Love you too."  
  
The two tiptoed out of her room and quietly closed her bedroom door.  
  
"I should probably head home now," Amber yawned, covering her mouth with her hand.  
  
"Want me to drive you?"  
  
"Sure, if it's not a problem.  
  
He walked to the entryway and grabbed the truck keys off the counter. "No sense in you walking."  
  
"Alright then, lead the way."  
  
The drive was quiet - the only noises being the rumbling of the truck's engine and the sound of crunching gravel. When he pulled up to her house, he turned to look at her.  
  
"Hey, thanks for coming over tonight. Jas has asked about you a lot since the Egg Festival, so I'm sure that meant a lot to her."  
  
"I told you, I want to be her best friend. Don't be surprised if I come over more often," she said, smiling.  
  
"She'd like that."  
  
Amber bit her lip. "What about you?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Would  _you_ like it?"  
  
Shane shifted uncomfortably and faced forward, his right hand clenching the steering wheel. "I mean... yeah, I had fun.  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"I don't know what you want me to say."  
  
For some reason, Amber felt disappointed. She stayed silent, staring at the time on the dash until it ticked over to the next minute.  
  
She couldn't figure him out. The  _one_ time she really tried to hang out with him, he cut the night short, then showed up at her house later upset over another guy. And now, asking him if he'd like her to go over to his house again, he acts all weird. She wasn't really good with people, but it felt to her that  _maybe_ he was into her.  
  
She was into him, after all, even despite his issues. She had hers too, so who was she to judge? He was comfortable. He related to her. Most importantly, he was pretty attractive - had that sort of sloppy handsomeness she'd always been into. He seemed like he'd be the kind of man that'd yank her hair when fucking her roughly from behind and then make her a cup of tea afterward.  
  
_Maybe he's not as much of a friend as you think he is. Maybe he's just acting weird because YOU make him act weird._  
  
Amber clenched her eyes shut, her heart thudding anxiously.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
She opened her eyes and quickly glanced at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for inviting me over," she said, climbing out of the truck. She slammed the door shut and ran up the stairs to her house, giving him a wave before stepping inside her house and closing the door behind her. Heart still pounding, she pulled out her phone, scrolled down the short contact list, and tapped the message icon beneath Sebastian's name.

 

**You busy?**


	9. Flower Dance

Amber stood anxiously on her porch in a floral print, off-the-shoulder-dress, smoking a joint and wishing badly that she didn't have to go to the Flower Dance. If it hadn't been for Shane calling her a few days prior, she'd be lounging on her couch in her underwear smoking for fun instead of smoking to calm her nerves.  
  
He told Amber that Jas wanted to talk to her, and when he handed the phone over, his goddaughter chattered excitedly about the dance, begging for Amber to show up. She stupidly said she'd be there, because why would she want to turn that sweet little girl down?  
  
_Fuck_ , Amber thought miserably, closing her eyes and taking a final hard hit before tossing the roach on the ground and snuffing it out with her shoe.  
  
_I'll pick it up when I get home._  
  
She reached up, adjusting the crown of daffodils on her head and stepped off the porch, heading down the dusty road toward the woods.  
  
The path through Cindersap Forest was extraordinarily long and made clear with pastel streamers and balloons tied to short wooden stakes every 10 feet or so. As she passed by the southern end of the lake, she began to wonder how much of their taxes went to decorating just the path alone, but when she reached the clearing itself, she realized balloons and streamers were the least of it.  
  
It nearly took her breath away. The field was filled with millions of tiny white flowers - the grass lush and inviting. Townspeople were scattered across the clearing in their own little groups, flowers either placed behind their ears, woven into their hair, or tucked into shirt pockets. Pierre was once again manning a stand and seemed to be selling flowers, both single and potted - her own blue jazz and tulips among them. A long buffet table sat off to the side topped with at least 20 chafing dishes, and to the north of the clearing on a platform stood a piano quintet setting up their equipment. What Amber thought was going to be a complete dud turned out to be a pretty classy affair.  
  
_THIS is where our money went._  
  
Once again, Amber's appearance grabbed people's attention. She walked away from the path and toward the edge of the river, catching the eye of an extremely fit, brown-haired man with a dimple in his square chin. His lecherous, green-eyed gaze penetrated her as he made his way over.  
  
_For fuck's sake, I can't go anywhere in this town._  
  
"You're the farmer, right?"  
  
_Who else would I be?_  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What kind of stuff do you farm?"  
  
"Um... vegetables...?"  
  
"Nice," he said, nodding. "You must work out a lot."  
  
"That's kind of part of the job."  
  
"I work out a lot too. Here, feel." He flexed, his biceps bulging.  
  
Amber held her hands up and stepped back a little. "No, thanks."  
  
"You're missing out," he said, shrugging. "These are gridball muscles. I'm gonna go pro."  
  
"That's... nice."  
  
_Please go away._  
  
"Hey, you should dance with me."  
  
She scoffed, taken aback. "What? I don't even know you."  
  
"Oh, I'm Alex," he said, putting out a hand.  
  
_God, even his fingers have muscles._  
  
"That's not what I -" she shook her head, annoyed. "Not what I meant."  
  
"Amber!"  
  
Amber turned her head to see Jas running toward her, leaving Marnie and Shane behind. She bent down and picked the little girl up before spinning her in a circle.  
  
"How you doing, kid?"  
  
"I'm good! I like your crown!"  
  
"You do?" she asked, her smile wide. "Well guess what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's for you!"  
  
"Really?!"  
  
Amber pulled the crown off of her head and knelt down, placing it on Jas's. Her small hands immediately flew up and touched the delicate flowers.  
  
"Be careful, or it'll fall apart."  
  
Jas nodded, and Amber stood back up. Much to her relief, Alex had left and in his place stood Marnie and Shane.  
  
"You look very beautiful today, Amber," Marnie said, smiling.  
  
"Oh. Thank you."  
  
Marnie nudged Shane with her elbow. "Doesn't she, Shane?"  
  
"Uh, yeah," he mumbled, looking away suddenly.  
  
Marnie suggested that Jas go play with Vincent, while simultaneously excusing herself to go to Lewis, and within the space of a couple minutes, Amber had went from being alone with Alex to alone with Shane. Despite the awkward silence, she felt leagues more comfortable.  
  
"You look good," she said.  
  
He did. Once again, Shane had cleaned up extraordinarily well. Smooth jaw, another button-up shirt, this time forest green and tucked into khaki pants. He also looked as if he had attempted to do something with his hair, but failed, as there was a small section that flopped down over his forehead. He froze when she reached up.  
  
"Just trying to fix it a little," she said, biting her lip as she pushed the lock back into place. "There."  
  
They stood there, looking somewhat nervously into each other's eyes for a moment before it fell down once more.  
  
"Don't worry about it," he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. "It's stupid."  
  
"It's not stupid," she said gently.  
  
\-- _"Miss Harris?"_  
  
_Not again._  
  
Amber turned, irritated. "Look, I'm sorry, but can you leave us alo-"  
  
_Oh._  
  
Before her stood a man who looked as if he was ripped off the cover of a romance novel and brought to life. His long, flowing red hair slid over his shoulders as he bowed slightly.  
  
"I apologize for the interruption, Miss Harris. Elliott Reed, aspiring author," he said, gesturing to himself.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"I was wondering if you would do me the great honor of joining me for the flower dance?"  
  
Amber glanced at Shane who was staring fixedly at his shoes.  
  
"No," she said plainly, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shane lift his head.  
  
Elliott looked mildly surprised, then nodded courteously. "I understand. If you change your mind, I will be waiting." He bowed once again before walking off.  
  
When he was out of earshot, she turned to Shane, rolling her eyes. "Let's get away from here before someone  _else_ comes up to me."  
  
The beverage table seemed to be abandoned at the moment, so she made her way over there and motioned to the various punch bowls.  
  
"Which one's good?"  
  
Shane pointed to a large, round, metal bowl with a cover. Amber lifted the lid to see a milky purple liquid with rose petals floating on the surface.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
He filled up two cups, handing one to her. "Just try it."  
  
She took a sip, the flowery tastes of rose and lavender caressed her tongue like velvet. "This is  _really_ good," she said, taking another large gulp. "Holy shit."  
  
Shane nodded, already re-filling his cup.  
  
"So, anything new since the last time we talked?"  
  
"Working, like always. You?"  
  
"Same. My spring crops are almost done growing, so soon I'll have to clear the field and get it ready for summer."  
  
"How are the chicks?"  
  
Amber smiled mischievously, though Shane didn't see it.  
  
"You wanna come over after this thing and see them?"  
  
"Yeah, sure... if you don't care."  
  
_Works every time._  
  
They stood there for a few minutes, drinking and talking until everyone began to pair up and gather in the middle of the clearing.  
  
Shane nodded toward Elliott who was looking at Amber expectantly.  
  
"Sure you don't want to go?"  
  
" _Positive_."  
  
"I don't know, he looks a little lonely."  
  
As soon as he spoke, a red-haired woman approached him, and together they joined the others.  
  
"You were saying?" she said with a smirk.  
  
The young couples in the center lined up - men in one line, women in another - and the piano quintet began to play, signaling the start of the dance.  
  
"You wanna just get out of here?" Amber said suddenly, putting her cup on the table.  
  
"And go where?"  
  
"My place. No reason for us to be here if we aren't out _there_. Unless you want to run out and join them."  
  
"...Your place sounds good."  
  
Amber waited patiently by the entrance for Shane to inform Marnie of his departure, and then they left, leaving the music and dancing behind them. She felt a little guilty about breaking her promise to Jas, but hoped that the crown would be enough to make her happy. She could always make it up to her some other time, anyway.  
  
"It's so peaceful," she said, gazing at the woods around her. The sun had been up for nearly 3 hours, but the trees grew so closely together that the light barely made it through the leaves - it shone in thin beams through tiny gaps onto the forest floor, highlighting logs with dry-rot and scattered shrubs.  
  
"Yeah," he agreed. "I've had some good memories here."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, I, uh... used to fantasize that when I grew up I'd own a chicken farm. Only free-range eggs, of course."  
  
Amber laughed, and he blushed. "Don't make fun of me."  
  
"I'm not making fun of you! I just find it amusing that you've been a chicken man your whole life."  
  
"Is that what you know me as?"  
  
"Maybe," she said, still chuckling.  
  
They continued to walk, their feet treading steadily along the dirt path - a gentle but steady wind blowing through the trees, the branches knocking together as if they were speaking some kind of unknown, mystical language.  
  
Amber glanced at Shane. He looked surprisingly at ease, not tense like he usually seemed to be at her house, the saloon, or literally anywhere else. She found herself wanting to take advantage of this moment - to learn as much as she could before they left the forest, breaking the spell it had over him.  
  
"So how did you get here?" she asked. "I know you said you got transferred, but why?"  
  
"I had a hard time taking care of Jas in the city. Everything was just too expensive, so I called Marnie and she said she had a couple of extra rooms. Told me there was a JojaMart, so I got transferred. Now I pay about half the rent and zero in childcare."  
  
" _And_ you get to play with chickens."  
  
"And I get to play with chickens."  
  
She nodded, pleased with how well this was going.  
  
"Anything you miss in the city?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"No friends? No family?"  
  
Without looking at him, she knew she had already fucked up.  
  
"Not anymore," he said quietly.  
  
"Do you wanna talk about it?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
_Well, there that goes._  
  
She sighed, desperate to continue the conversation. "I don't have any either, if it makes you feel any better." When he looked at her, confused, she continued. "Friends in the city, I mean."  
  
"Yeah, right."  
  
"I'm serious. All I did was work."  
  
"What did you do for fun?"  
  
"Watched TV on weeknights, went to bars on the weekends."  
  
Shane rubbed the back of his neck before looking sideways at her. "No boyfriend?"  
  
Amber clutched the side of her dress, her heart pounding. "No boyfriend. Just... some short-term things."  
  
"I find that hard to believe."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, I mean... just now, back there," he said, tossing his head back slightly. "Elliott. And then when I first showed up, that jock. Then Sebastian before that."  
  
"Your point?"  
  
"You just seem to be pretty popular with the guys here. Can only imagine what it was like for you in Zuzu City."  
  
_I wonder if he's jealous?_  
  
She hoped he was.  
  
"You know, you'd be popular with the girls if you didn't treat them all like shit."  
  
"I treated _you_ like shit but you kept talking to me. I still don't understand that."  
  
"It's because you  _get_ me, Shane. We outcasts have to stick together," she said, a playful smile dancing across her face.  
  
He snorted. "You, an outcast? Everyone fucking  _loves_ you. You could kill their pets and they'd apologize to  _you_ for it."  
  
"Sounds like a little bit of an over-exaggeration."  
  
"Those people basically worship every single fucking potato you send their way."  
  
"Do _you_?"  
  
"Do I what?"  
  
"Do you worship my potatoes? Or my radishes? How about my _melons_?" The last word came out low and sultry, and she turned her head, pleased at the effect she had on him. His cheeks were bright red, as if he had been slapped just moments ago.  
  
"You're an idiot."  
  
"Yeah, but I know you like it. Otherwise you wouldn't have put up with me for this long."  
  
"You didn't give me much of a choice."  
  
"There's  _always_ a choice."

 

* * *

 

  
By the time the two made it to the farm, Shane was practically starving. He'd been far too nervous to eat that morning - a decision which he was regretting now as his stomach grumbled painfully.  
  
They entered the coop, and the chicks, who had been sitting quietly in their boxes, jumped out. One chick in particular made a beeline toward Shane, and Amber scoffed as if she were offended.  
  
"Pip, you little traitor!"  
  
He smirked and squatted low to the ground, picking up the chick that was circling his feet and began to pet it. "You planning on getting any more chickens in the future?"  
  
"Oh, _definitely_. I think by next spring I'll have Robin build me a coop big enough for twenty of them. Not sure what I'll do what this one though," she said, looking around.  
  
"You think you can handle that?"  
  
Amber laughed. "I sure hope so! Though I think the biggest challenge will be naming them all. Isn't that right, Squeak?" she said, nuzzling her chick.  
  
Shane snapped his head down to Pip. The combination of Amber and chickens had become a pretty big soft spot for him, and if he didn't look away, he'd take Amber's face in his hands and kiss her.  
  
"Besides," she said suddenly, "If I ever have any trouble, I can just come to you, right?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean that if you're up for it, you can come work for me next year. I know," she said, noticing his shocked expression, "It's a big proposal. But it beats working at JojaMart, right? And I'd pay you just as much, if not more...  _and_ you'd get to spend almost your entire day with chickens."  
  
Shane turned his attention to Pip once more and massaged the top of her head with his fingernail.  
  
"What do you say?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You don't know whether you'd rather work at JojaMart or with me?" She paused. "And chickens? _Chickens_ , Shane."  
  
He knew this was likely a genuine offer, but it seemed too good to be true. "Do you mean it?"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"This isn't a joke?"  
  
"Why the hell would it be a joke?"  
  
"...I don't know."  
  
Amber sighed. "I'm completely serious."  
  
He looked up, examining her face before nodding. She might fuck with him sometimes, but never about things like this.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Good!" she said, setting Squeak aside and standing up. "Now let's go in, I'm _starving_."  
  
Amber made them both a heaping bowl of salad full of vegetables from her farm, and while Shane was disappointed that lunch didn't consist of the pepperoni pizza rolls he saw in her freezer when she grabbed ice for their drinks, he still ate each forkful gratefully. Food was food.  
  
"You know, we should do this more often."  
  
"What, eat lunch?"  
  
"Hang out, dumb ass," she said, chuckling. "What do you do when you're not working or helping out with the chickens?"  
  
_Drink._  
  
"That's about it."  
  
"What about that game system I saw hidden under all that crap on your floor?"  
  
"Yeah, that too," he mumbled, embarrassed.  
  
"You should bring it over this Saturday. We can play, drink, I'll make dinner, and we can just... chill. That is, if Marnie doesn't mind watching Jas."  
  
Shane had a feeling his aunt would watch Jas every minute of every day if it meant he was somewhere other than the saloon or his room drinking and moping.  
  
"Yeah, okay."

Amber smiled. "Great!"  
  
When the time came for Shane to go back home, Amber threw her arms around him without any hesitation and squeezed him tightly.  
  
"Is this a thing now? Hugging me goodbye?"  
  
"Why not, isn't this what friends do?"  
  
He didn't think platonic friends of the opposite sex were this touchy-feely, but there was no way he was going to complain. Instead, he returned her hug, feeling her firm body beneath his arms. He found himself not wanting to let go, and when she pulled away with a smile on her face, he almost pulled her back.  
  
Shane immediately went to the coop as soon as he arrived at the ranch. He had been spending more time there lately - the smell of the chickens now somewhat reminding him of Amber. It was a poor substitute for actually being with her, but it was better than nothing.  
  
This weekend, though, he actually  _would_ be with her, and even though it was several days away, he was already nervous. It had been a long time since he spent serious one-on-one time with anyone, let alone someone he was very attracted to. He hoped that when the time came, he wouldn't do anything stupid.  
  
He'd been in the coop for a good while when he heard the sound of Jas's loud chattering come from inside the house before Marnie poked her head out the door, looking for him.  
  
" _There_ you are," she said, closing the door and sitting on the bench beside him. "So... What did you and Amber do today?"  
  
"Why?" he asked, suspicious.  
  
"Just wondering. Am I not allowed to take an interest in my nephew's life?"  
  
He shrugged. "Spent time with her chicks and then she invited me in for lunch."  
  
"Nothing else?"  
  
"What else do you  _think_ happened?"  
  
"Whatever it is two single adults do when they're alone."  
  
"We just had lunch," he said, his face pink.  
  
"Sure," Marnie said, nodding her head. "You two left the dance almost immediately after it started because you wanted to have lunch."  
  
He leaned back, exasperated. "We're not into all that - _flower_ shit."  
  
"You don't have to pretend nothing is going on, Shane. I just hope you kids are being safe."  
  
"We're not doing anything."  
  
Marnie patted his shoulder. "If you say so."

 

* * *

 

  
After putting Jas to bed that night and getting a decent buzz, Shane lay in his bed reflecting on the morning he woke up hungover on Amber's couch. How it felt when, however briefly and unintentional, she had touched him. As he stroked himself, he wished so badly that things had gone differently - that she had been awake, and instead of her foot touching him, it was her hand grasped tightly around his dick before putting it inside her, her breath coming out in quiet pants as she rode him.  
  
His phone vibrated on his nightstand. He paused the stroking, deciding to take a quick look, but he wasn't prepared for what was waiting for him.  
  
A picture - Amber, still in her dress from earlier, held a dusty potato in her hand and looked at the camera through slightly smudged eyeliner and a smug grin.  
  
  
**Like what you see?**  
  
  
_Fuck_ , he did. He knew the picture was just a joke, a reference from earlier that day, but she looked too damn good.  
  
He rolled onto his back again and held the phone above him, pumping as he ogled her.  
  
After a few minutes, another message popped up.

  
**Speechless? I knew you were into my potatoes.**  
  
  
He dropped himself, bringing his other hand to the phone.

  
**Maybe a bit.**

  
  
He stared at the screen, waiting for another response before resuming.

**  
If you're lucky, you might get some action when you come over this Saturday.  
**

His cock twitched. _What the fuck does that mean?_ Was it an invitation to have sex or just another potato joke?  
  
Whatever. He didn't care. His eyes flickered between her picture and her promise. He didn't expect anything even close to that would happen, but as he jerked off, it was nice to fantasize that he  _would_ be lucky enough to fuck a girl like her.


	10. Going Overboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> For those of you that know I'm going through a revision process, this is just a small announcement to let you know that I've decided to release each revised chapter as a new one instead of just leaving you hanging in limbo until I've finished.
> 
> This helps the story as a whole, because as I revise past chapters, a lot of little details in the future ones change, therefore messing up the flow of the story. With each change in my revisions, I kept having to go forward to future chapters and tweaking things here and there. The further along I get in my revisions, the more I have to change, so I figured the best course of action would just be to upload as I go, so I don't have to keep going forward and changing details (including getting rid of entire scenes) for people who are trying to read the story all at once.
> 
> I apologize, and I appreciate your patience during this time. 
> 
> Anyway, to the old readers, I hope you enjoy this most recent revision, and to the new readers, I hope you just plain enjoy it!

Amber woke up on Saturday morning exceedingly anxious. It was her intention that night to make a move on Shane, so in order to prepare herself, she spent the entirety of the day keeping a consistent high. If not, she'd end up calling the whole thing off, and then who knew when she'd be able to gather up enough courage to try again?  
  
She wasn't the type of person to plan these sorts of things out, especially not with someone she knew for more than a few hours. Her sexual interactions usually occurred by some guy buying her a bunch of drinks, getting drunk, going to his place, fucking him while his roommate slept, and then leaving as soon as possible.  
  
There was only one exception, and his name was Nathan. Nathan sat in the cubicle next to hers at Joja HQ, and one day, about a year after she started working there, he began to drop by on his way to the water cooler. Little bits of conversation here, a cup of coffee there, and one day, he slipped her his number. After that, they were fuck buddies for about 6 months until another woman got hired and he turned his attention toward her. Amber never got attached to the guys she fucked, so him severing their sexual relationship didn't bother her in the least. In fact, she still remained work friends with him - even eating lunch alongside him up until the day she quit.  
  
Tonight, though, would be uncharted waters.  
  
She smoked her last joint of the night on the porch an hour before Shane was due to arrive, watching, captivated, as the first stars begin to show through the orange-blue sky.  
  
She stood too long, however, and once she saw that she only had about 30 minutes left, she sucked down the rest of the joint then rushed inside and hopped in the shower, scrubbing herself from head to toe. She shaved as fast as she possibly could without nicking herself, then hopped out, dried off, and threw on the clothes she had laid out. They weren't anything special - just a grey sweatshirt and black athletic shorts - but she figured it would be better for her to be comfortable and nervous than uncomfortable and nervous.  
  
Afterwards, she watched TV on the couch and waited patiently, but when the clock went 10 minutes past the time he was supposed to be there, then 15, and then 20, her nerves began to build up despite the high.  
  
_Oh god, he knows. He knows and he's not interested, and I'm just fucking STUPID for sending that picture the other day. GOD, I'm an idiot._  
  
Still, she held out hope, and a full half hour after the designated time, she heard a knock. She leapt up and practically ran to it, and when she opened the door, there Shane stood, looking equal parts handsome and nervous.  
  
He seemed to have put more care into his appearance than she did. His 5 o'clock shadow had - to her immense pleasure - grown back in, and he still wore that stupid jacket, but the shirt underneath was different than usual, and just like the day of the Flower Dance, he had once more attempted to style his hair - this time, succeeding.  
  
"Come in," she said, stepping aside.  
  
"I'm so sorry I'm late."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Jas is pretty sick, I had to stick around until she fell asleep. I would've called, but I couldn't get away.  
  
Amber's face fell. "Oh. Do you need to go back? We can always do this another night."  
  
"No, no, it's fine," he insisted. "She should be good for the night. She fell asleep pretty hard."  
  
"Alright, well... ready to get some drinking done?" Amber pointed to a box of beer on the coffee table. "They're not really cold, but does it really matter?"  
  
She ripped open the box and tossed a can toward him before popping one open herself and taking a drink. "I guess you brought the stuff?" she asked, nodding toward the drawstring bag he was wearing.  
  
"Oh, yeah." He set the can down and stepped over to the TV, sliding the bag off his shoulders and carefully removing the system. He ran his fingers underneath the flat screen in an attempt to find where to plug the cable in.  
  
"It's around back."  
  
"Oh."  
  
He turned the TV at an angle and plugged the cable in, then straightened it before plugging the power cord into the wall.  
  
"You play much?" he asked as he turned the Mega Station on and handed her a controller.  
  
"I have actually never played a video game before in my life."  
  
"...You're kidding me."  
  
"I'm dead serious. I wasn't allowed to play video games growing up, so I just never got into them."  
  
"Why weren't you allowed?"  
  
"My parents were super strict," she said, shrugging. "They didn't want me doing anything that wasn't schoolwork or sports or whatever boring event they decided to drag me to."  
  
"Well that fucking sucks."  
  
"It did! I mean, what did all that studying do for me? Sure, I got accepted to Woodcreek and went there while working for Joja, but then I threw it all away to become a goddamn _farmer_. My parents would shit themselves if they knew."  
  
He looked at her, confused. "I thought your grandpa left you this place? Also, you went to _Woodcreek University?_ You must either be a genius or filthy rich."  
  
"He  _did_ leave it to me, but it was still a choice of whether or not I wanted to go for it. With the deed, he left a note talking about 'making connections with real people and nature'. I wasn't too keen on the people part, but I was definitely on board with nature. Also, I'd do  _anything_ to get away from that soul-sucking place."  
  
Amber hoped that he didn't notice her blatant disregard for his final statement.  
  
"So if he left it to you, how would your parents not know?"  
  
"The deed was sealed, meant for my eyes only. I was only allowed to open it when I was 18, and quote, _'desperate for a change in life'_." She took a drink. "Also, I haven't talked to my parents in about eight years, so as far as I know, they have absolutely no clue what I'm doing."  
  
"Jesus. Eight years? What the hell happened?"  
  
Amber shrugged. "Just a bunch of shit. I don't really wanna get into it right now, it's kind of a bummer."  
  
"Oh." He turned his head, suddenly embarrassed. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it," she said, smiling. "Just focus on kicking my butt in..." she looked at the TV, "Ultra Fighter!"  
  
She didn't stand a chance. For the next hour, Amber got her ass handed to her over, and over, and over again. She jokingly accused Shane of using cheats, but when he grew oddly defensive, she began to think that maybe she wasn't wrong.  
  
After finishing their beers, they started up another round.  
  
"So what kind of sports did you play?" he asked.  
  
"Well, I played volleyball my whole life, but then in high school I played a little powder puff gridball. Go Lady Wolves," she added sarcastically.  
  
"I played gridball too."  
  
"What? You? No way."  
  
She bit her lip at the thought of Shane in a tight gridball uniform.  
  
"Yeah, varsity at Northridge High."  
  
"Did you have a cheerleader girlfriend?"  
  
"I barely had  _any_ girlfriends."  
  
Amber paused the game.  
  
"You're fucking with me."  
  
"Uh... what do you mean?"  
  
"You're a pretty handsome guy, Shane. Sorry if that's awkward for you to hear, but it's true. There is _no way_ that you were a varsity gridball player and  _didn't_ have the hottest girl in school at your side."  
  
"Now you're the one fucking with _me_ ," he mumbled.  
  
"I might be a little drunk right now, but I'm not lying." She turned her head and resumed the game, but noticed that Shane wasn't doing as well as he had been earlier. Despite that, he still destroyed her, and once the round was over, she put the controller on the coffee table, opened up a new beer, and took a sip.  
  
"So why didn't you have a lot of girlfriends, Mr. Gridball? You go to school with a bunch of blind people?"  
  
Shane laughed, then shook his head. "I just had a few bad experiences, and, I dunno, I kind of stopped trying."  
  
"So no girlfriends even after high school?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Did you at least go out and get some?" she asked, wiggling her brows.  
  
Shane's cheeks flushed a rosy pink.  
  
"I mean, yeah. Bars and stuff."  
  
"Yeah," she said, sighing. "That basically sums up my post-high school experiences too." She sat up straight, picking at the tab on her can. "I wonder if we ever... you know."  
  
He was silent for a long moment. "I think I'd remember that."  
  
Amber's stomach began to twist nervously. _Now. Do it now._  
  
"When was the last time you were with someone?"  
  
He flushed again. "It's... been a while."  
  
_NOW._  
  
Amber set her can down on the table and stood abruptly, pulling off her sweatshirt and revealing a thin white tank top. She made the bold choice to wear a black bra underneath, a choice that paid off well as Shane absolutely could not keep his eyes off her - looking her up and down as she threw her sweatshirt on the chair.  
  
She sat back down and brought her hands up to cup his neck, her thumbs brushing the underside of his jaw.  
  
"It's been a while for me too," she said softly, her gaze focused on his mouth. She was afraid that if she were to look him in the eye, she'd lose the nerve she tried so hard to build up. Before she could stop herself, she took a slow, deep breath and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his.  
  
It was just a soft touch, the most chaste of kisses, but it knocked her completely for a loop. It wasn't like her to be so goddamn nervous over a first kiss - she'd had many of them, after all. She couldn't figure out if it was because it had been so long, or if she was just super into Shane, but when she finally pulled away, she had to take a moment to collect herself.  
  
"Is - is this okay?" she asked, lifting her eyes up to meet his.  
  
She waited patiently for his answer, feeling his heart beat hard through his neck. It gave her a bit of comfort to know he was just as a nervous wreck as she was.  
  
He didn't speak. Instead, he placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her forward once more. At first, their lips moved slow and unfamiliar against one another, but it didn't take long for everything to click into place, their kisses quickly gaining traction.  
  
Amber's hands ran through his hair, curling her fingers against his scalp as they mashed their lips together passionately. The anxiety had fled, and in its place were unabashed and unadulterated longing.  
  
She was hardly aware when she climbed into his lap to straddle him. His hands roughly gripped her hips, then slid underneath her shirt and up her sides as she began grinding, moaning softly into his mouth the second she felt him stiffen and push against her through their clothing.  
  
She hadn't expected Shane to be this fucking _good_. He was always so reserved... how could she possibly imagine that he would respond to her this way?  
  
He lowered his mouth to her neck, his coarse stubble dragging across her skin as he kissed down from behind her ear to her collarbone. Her body began to ache, and the combination of the kisses and the stiffness poking at her between her thighs was becoming far too much for her to handle.  
  
She wanted him. She  _needed_ him.  
  
But just as she began to move her hand toward his crotch, a heavy knock on the door sounded out like a gunshot.  
  
With a gasp, Amber pulled away and jolted upright, Shane's hands frozen right beneath her bra line.  
  
Another knock.  
  
Heart pounding, she climbed off of him and hastily put her sweatshirt back on.  
  
Another knock.  
  
"Coming!" she called as she threw her hair up into a bun and walked to the door, opening it.  
  
It was Marnie, red-faced and panicked.  
  
"Marnie," Amber said, surprised. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"I'm so sorry to bother you." Marnie peeked inside to see Shane sitting on the couch, hair askew, leaning forward slightly. Amber stepped aside and allowed her to enter. "Jas woke up," she said to him. "She's absolutely inconsolable and keeps screaming for you. I tried calling, but I couldn't get a hold of you."  
  
Shane reached out and picked his phone up off the coffee table. "I don't have any missed calls..."  
  
Marnie shrugged, shaking her head. "I don't know. But we have to _go_ , Shane," she pleaded.  
  
"Who's with her right now?"  
  
"I called Lewis and asked him to watch her while I came and got you."  
  
"O-okay," he said. Marnie turned on the spot and rushed down the stairs toward the truck. Shane got up, grabbed his jacket, and walked quickly to the door, pausing briefly by Amber.  
  
"I'm so sorry," he whispered.  
  
"It's not your fault. To be continued?"  
  
He nodded, breathing heavily. "Yeah."

 

* * *

 

  
The next day after breakfast, Amber sent Shane a short text.

  
**I hope Jas is doing alright.**

  
She was too nervous to address the night before. Besides, it just didn't seem like the sort of thing that should be discussed through a screen.  
  
A short time later, he responded:  
  
  
**She's a bit better.**  
  
  
That was it. That was all he wrote. She sat staring at her phone for a few minutes longer expecting another message, but nothing came through. Was he also too nervous to bring it up?  
  
_Or does he regret it?_  
  
They were both drunk, after all. There were plenty of times where she fucked someone while drunk and regretted it the next day. Could it be the same for him?  
  
Amber threw herself into her work in an attempt to keep her mind off of it. They'd talk about it when it came time, and if the topic didn't come up by the end of the day, maybe she'd make a trip to JojaMart on Monday.  
  
The thought of cornering him at work to ask when they were going to finish what they started gave her a little bit of a thrill. As she pulled weeds, she fantasized about them sneaking to the back of the store and fucking in the utility closet.  
  
By the time she was finished on the farm, she was in a much better mood, and it only improved the second Sebastian showed up with her delivery.  
  
Like they'd done a couple times before, she invited him inside for a smoke and a chat.  
  
"How's it going with Abigail? Has she finally stopped being weird at band practice?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, breathing out a cloud of smoke. "Things are pretty much back to normal, but I do see her looking at me with a sad face sometimes. Like she pities me."  
  
"What does Sam have to say about it?"  
  
"Not much. He's basically been a tyrant the minute we decided to perform at the Luau. It's a couple of months away, but he's still been having us at his house to practice pretty much every single day."  
  
"And today?"  
  
"Today I told him to shove it and that I'd be there tomorrow."  
  
"So you came here instead." She placed her hand on her chest. "I'm _honored_."  
  
"I'm only here because you let me vent to you without judging. Also, you give me money."  
  
"And you give me weed."  
  
"So in the end, we're just using each other."  
  
"Tragic."  
  
They continued to talk and smoke until it was time for Sebastian to get back home. Apparently he had some programming work to complete and had put it off for far too long.  
  
He stepped out the door, stood for a moment, then immediately came back through.  
  
"Uh... Shane's here..."  
  
"What?" Amber asked, sitting up.  
  
"Yeah, he was almost to the porch, then he saw me and just turned around."  
  
She leapt off the couch, her heart pounding, and ran to the door. Sebastian was right. Shane was there, passing by the chicken coop.  
  
"I'll see you later," she said to Sebastian as she ran down the steps after Shane.  
  
When she reached him, she slowed to his pace - a fast walk. "What's up, where are you going?"  
  
He didn't answer, so she sped up and stepped in front of him.  
  
"Get out of my way," he grunted, pushing past her.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"What is going _on_?"  
  
Shane stopped, chuckling derisively and turned around, running his fingers roughly through his hair. "I guess you liked getting kissed by him more than you let on."  
  
" _What? No!_ "  
  
"Then why did I just see him coming out of your house?"  
  
"We were smoking weed, not that it's any of your business."  
  
"You're right, it's  _not_ my business."  
  
"We were hanging out!"  
  
"Just like we were hanging out last night?"  
  
Amber barked out a laugh. "Wow, you're a real piece of work."  
  
" _You're_  the piece of work," he snapped back. "Some guy kisses you 'against your will' and you suddenly become friends with him. Makes  _no_ fucking sense to me."  
  
"He came to my house the next day to apologize. He likes someone else, Shane."  
  
"Right. He likes someone else but he kissed _you_."  
  
"It's complicated."  
  
"I'm sure it is."  
  
He turned back around and started walking again.  
  
"What is wrong with you? Why won't you believe me?"  
  
Again, no answer - he just walked further and further away.  
  
" _Jesus Christ,_ Shane! You're being ridiculous! Call me when you stop being such a _fucking_  prick!" she yelled, then turned around and headed back toward her house.

 

* * *

 

  
Shane walked right past the ranch house and went straight to the saloon, angry and humiliated.  
  
The bell tinkled gently when he opened the door and took his first steps inside. The saloon was empty, which was normal for a Sunday afternoon - the real rush didn't start until dinnertime. Normally he didn't care how many people were around since they were used to - and ignored - his presence, but right then, he wanted to be alone.  
  
Emily traipsed from the back room carrying a box of soda syrup, her hundred-watt smile ever present on her face.  
  
"Hello, Shane! You're early today!"  
  
He walked toward his usual spot and got up on the stool.  
  
"What can I get for you?" she asked, setting the box on the floor.  
  
"The usual."  
  
"You got it!"  
  
She grabbed a clear glass from under the counter and filled it with Shane's favorite beer from the tap and slid it toward him. "Here you are."  
  
He grunted out a thanks and drank the beer in 10 seconds flat before setting it down and pushing it forward.  
  
"Another."  
  
He took the second drink more slowly, and the third, the fourth, and so on, drinking and drinking until the dinner crowd began to trickle in. At that point, he was so wasted he could hardly stay upright on the stool.  
  
When he got down to go home, he stumbled into the counter, knocking someone else's drink into their basket of fried mushrooms.  
  
"Mmsorry", he said, then attempted to straighten himself and take another step toward the door.  
  
Emily rushed around the corner and led him out of the way to a seat.  
  
"Sit here, I'm calling Marnie for you, okay?"  
  
He sat still, his head swimming for some indeterminate amount of time until Marnie came through the door, shaking her head and leading him to the truck.  
  
The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was the look of total disappointment on his aunt's face as she got him settled in bed.  
  
He woke up later that night, went to the bathroom, took some medicine, and then headed to the kitchen to see Marnie sitting at the table, her hands folded in her lap.  
  
"Sit."  
  
He sat.  
  
"What you did today... was  _absolutely_ inexcusable. I understand you have a drinking problem, and I know for the most part you keep it pretty well hidden from Jas, but you  _cannot_ be drinking in the middle of the day, and I  _absolutely cannot_ be getting calls from the saloon asking for me to pick you up because you can't even stand, let alone walk home."  
  
"I'm sorry," he murmured.  
  
"Sorry?!" Marnie whispered loudly. "You're lucky Jas is sick in bed. What would I say to her if she saw you coming home like that? She already thinks you have some kind of chronic condition where you're sick almost every morning. Seeing you like that would  _terrify_ her. You can't be doing this!"  
  
"I know..."  
  
"You need to either cut the drinking down, or stop altogether. You have a daughter to think about, Shane. I know you weren't ready to be a parent, but neither are thousands of people, and they handle it just fine. You have  _got_ to step up and make some changes. That little girl deserves better."  
  
With that being said, she got up from her chair and went to her bedroom, leaving him alone and ashamed.  
  
She was right. He was a mess, and he fucked up. He fucked up. He _always_ fucked up.  
  
He walked silently to Jas's room, and upon seeing the light inside, opened the door to see her sitting up and reading a book.  
  
"Hey, kiddo, what are you still doing awake?"  
  
"I can't sleep," she whined. "My belly hurts."  
  
"You get some medicine yet?"  
  
"Aunt Marnie gave me some a little bit ago."  
  
"Well, sometimes it takes a while for it to start working."  
  
He looked down at the book in her hands - a small chapter book about a brother and sister's adventure with a dragon.  
  
"You get that from the library?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Is it good?"  
  
Another nod.  
  
"Well, go on. Read it to me."  
  
He climbed into the bed and settled himself under the covers, putting an arm around her shoulders. Jas's young voice was surprisingly confident as she read, sliding her finger along the words.  
  
But Shane didn't notice.  
  
He wasn't listening.


	11. Reconciliation

Of all of Shane's many faults, his alcoholism, anxiety, and bitter distrust toward strangers were usually the ones that people noticed first. The one that got him in the most trouble, however, was his indestructible stubbornness. When his mind was made up on an issue, more often than not, he wouldn't budge.  
  
Until he met Amber, that is.  
  
For an entire week after the day he saw Sebastian leave her house, Shane and Amber did not say a single word to one another. After that, though, Amber had apparently decided that she didn't actually want to wait for him to stop being a prick, because one morning before work, he checked his phone to see a text from her saying:

  
**Are you done now?**

  
And of course, he didn't reply. Why would he? He wasn't in the wrong, after all. She was.  
  
Over the next week, the more she tried to text or call, the more he began to think that maybe, like a million other times before, he was just being stupid. That maybe it was just his anxiety making him see things that weren't there. Amber was allowed to have friends. She was allowed to have friends that were men. He wasn't  _dating_ Amber - he couldn't dictate who she could spend her time with - and even if he  _were_ to somehow be dating her, it'd still be shitty of him to get mad just because she spent time with a guy who wasn't him.  
  
One Thursday at 2pm, Shane clocked out of work early. It was Jas's 8th birthday, and he begged his boss - promising he'd work unpaid overtime at a later date - to let him leave so he could be home by the time her party started. It was to be held at the ranch right after school, and while he wasn't too thrilled to have to deal with the people that were invited, he still wanted to be there for his goddaughter.  
  
After clocking out, he retrieved his phone from his assigned locker and checked it as he walked out the front door.  
  
No messages.  
  
He couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. So far this had been the second day in a row where Amber hadn't sent him anything, and even though he was stubbornly refusing to talk to her, he still secretly loved the feeling of being chased.  
  
_Whatever. Guess she finally got the point._  
  
When he made it home, his aunt was just putting the last few decorations up.  
  
"Oh thank god he let you off early," Marnie said, relieved.  
  
The party was Agents of Space themed, and while Jas was usually a pink-and-purple kind of girl, today she was adamant on wanting nothing but decorations that suited her most recent obsession.  
  
Black streamers hung from the kitchen ceiling like flat tentacles, and green, alien-faced balloons sat hovering above the chairs they were tied to. A small table off to the side held a modest pile of gifts, including one Shane had went to Zuzu City to get - a doll modeled after the star of the movie, Agent Nova. She was a sleek, blond-haired woman in a black suit and tie wielding a laser gun in one hand, and a badge in the other.  
  
Shane may have been sick of the movie having seen it 16 times since its release, but he was glad for Jas to have a strong female role model to look up to. There was his aunt, of course, but he'd rather Jas grow up to be an alien-fighting secret agent instead of a middle-aged woman on a ranch taking care of her alcoholic nephew and his goddaughter.  
  
Marnie finished tacking up the other side of the "Happy Birthday" banner that hung across the doorway and stepped down off the ladder.  
  
"Jas should be home in about a half hour, so you have plenty of time to get ready. You sign her card?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
After showering and getting dressed in something black - per Jas's request - he came back out to the kitchen and grabbed a Joja cola from the fridge, downing it almost at once. When he turned to throw the can away - belching as he did so - his eyes landed on Amber sitting at the table, hidden among a crowd of balloons, the card and a pen in her hand, looking at him with a devilish grin.  
  
"Hello, Shane."  
  
"Oh, for fuck's sake," he mumbled, chucking the can in the trash.  
  
Of course. Of  _course_ she had to show up today. Marnie probably invited her and kept it a secret from him. She knew the two weren't talking, and although she wasn't sure of the reason, it still didn't stop her from trying to coax him into mending things, obviously taking matters into her own hands when that failed.  
  
Goddamn his aunt, and goddamn Amber for showing up and looking effortlessly fantastic on top of it. Like some kind of sexy librarian, she had her hair up in a tight bun, wore round non-prescription eyeglasses, and had on the required party uniform - something black. In her case, it was a black dress which hugged each and every curve of her shapely form, and _god_ , it looked _good_. If he'd seen her before his shower, there's a 100% chance he'd've angrily jerked off to her.  
  
Shane wasn't going to give her an opportunity to talk to him, so he left the kitchen and went outside and to wait for Jas. Unfortunately, Amber was right behind him, but thankfully stood quietly by until the little girl ran excitedly up the dirt road, her teacher in tow.  
  
"Amber!" Jas squealed, running up to her. "You're here!"  
  
"Well of course, why would I miss your birthday?"  
  
"Miss Penny, this is Amber! The farmer! She's Shane's friend!"  
  
Penny, the pretty, shy, red-haired teacher stuck her hand out and shook Amber's hand gently. "I've heard so much about you."  
  
"Good things, I hope!"  
  
Penny blushed. "Oh, of course! And may I say," she continued, blushing even further, "the melons you grew last year were the absolute best I ever had."  
  
"Well luckily for you, I'll be growing a lot more this year! If you want, I can bring a few by for you some time."  
  
"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly accept..."  
  
"You can, and you will!"  
  
The two women shared a smile, and Shane about pinched himself. What the hell was Amber doing? He could count on five hands the amount of times she had bitched about the townsfolk, but here she was trying to curry favor with Jas's fucking teacher of all people?  
  
While Jas was getting herself ready, Amber and Penny sat at the table chattering about what life in the city was like, leaving Shane to stand sulking in the corner.  
  
_God_ , he wanted a drink. But ever since that humiliating day at the saloon and the talk that followed after, he had cut down on his drinking - replacing the boxes of beer under his bed with sparkling water.  
  
At first, he felt quite proud of himself. Waking up some mornings and not feeling like he wanted to jump off a cliff gave him enough motivation to carry on through the day, but times like this... times like this he wanted to guzzle a whole damn keg and then some.  
  
Jas came barreling into the kitchen wearing one of her friend Vincent's suits and carrying a water gun Shane had spray painted silver the night before.  
  
" _Freeze,_ alien scum!" she called out, making Penny jump in her seat.  
  
"Jas, don't scare your guest," Marnie scolded gently as she came through the kitchen carrying a large white cardboard box.  
  
"Is that my cake?"  
  
"Sure is!"  
  
Marnie placed it on the center of the kitchen table and lifted the lid. A photocopied scene from Agents of Space decorated the buttercream frosting with the words " _Happy 8th Birthday, Jas_ " written beautifully at the bottom.  
  
"Gus did such a wonderful job," Marnie said, smiling.  
  
"Can we eat it now?!"  
  
"No, we have to wait for the rest of your guests." Marnie checked her watch. "They should be here soon."  
  
Several minutes later, Vincent arrived along with his mother, a miserable and perpetually tired-looking woman. He, too, was sporting a suit with a spray painted gun and engaged Jas in pretend warfare - rushing around the kitchen, shrieking as they shot invisible lasers into each other's chests and falling dead to the ground before jumping back up and rushing to her bedroom.  
  
Vincent's mother lowered herself into a chair, already seeming like she'd had enough until she noticed Amber.  
  
"Oh. You're Miss Harris, right?"  
  
"The one and only. And you?"  
  
"I'm Vincent's mom, Jodi."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Jodi," she said, flashing a brilliantly white smile. "By the way, I  _love_  your braid. I can never get mine to look as good as that."  
  
Amber's compliment brought a smile to Jodi's face, lighting up her eyes. "Well, thank you so much!"  
  
Shane narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Amber as she conversed happily with the three other women. What she just said had been a bold-faced lie. Amber braided her hair all the time, and while Shane never usually paid attention to things like that, it was easy to tell when someone could style hair and when they couldn't, and  _she_ definitely could.  
  
She was up to something.  
  
Shane trudged through the presents, of which Amber outshone his by miles with a 2 foot tall Agent Luna figure. He trudged through the cake - where, when they sang "Happy Birthday", Amber's voice lifted higher and more beautifully than everyone else's. He trudged through the party games, where everyone but him seemed to be having the time of their lives.  
  
He couldn't help but feel as if Amber's appearance at this party was part of an attempt to make him as uncomfortable as possible. If it was, it was working... and he needed to get the hell out of there.  
  
The second the last guest left the house, Shane bolted to his room leaving Marnie and Amber behind to clean up the mess. It was extremely rude of him, he knew, but if he had to spend another second in Amber's presence, he'd be running straight for the saloon.  
  
Instead, he pulled the nearly-empty box of sparkling water out from under his bed and sat on the floor with his back to the mattress drinking can after can, filling his stomach until he felt he would burst. His head was tilted back, the carbonated water making its way down his throat when the bedroom door opened suddenly and Amber stepped through, closing the door behind her. He cursed himself for not locking it.  
  
"Get out," he said, putting the half-empty can on the floor along with the other empty ones.  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we need to _talk_ , Shane."  
  
"We don't."  
  
"This is ridiculous, are you planning on avoiding me forever?"  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
She stared at him for a minute, shaking her head.  
  
" _Shit,_ " she sighed. "I shouldn't be telling you this - it's not my place - but if it gets you to understand, then fuck, I'll tell you." She crossed over to where he was and kicked aside a pile of dirty laundry before very carefully sitting down beside him. "That night Sebastian kissed me, he'd just confessed his feelings to Abigail."  
  
"...Abigail?"  
  
"Pierre's daughter."  
  
He shrugged, shaking his head as he looked at the floor.  
  
"Purple hair?"  
  
"Oh."  
  
Shane knew who that was. That purple-haired girl hung out with Sebastian and Sam, Shane's co-worker, at the saloon every Friday in the game room playing pool. They were always loud and obnoxious, and worst of all, Sam would occasionally come up to Shane and invite him to join. Sam was like Emily in that regard - friendly and persistent to a fault, even when Shane looked at him blankly and told him "no" as harshly as he could.  
  
Amber continued. "That night, he was upset, and just did something stupid. He came over the next day to apologize... You should have seen his face, Shane."  
  
She leaned forward slightly, peering at him in an attempt to make eye contact, but he kept looking down. "Anyway, since then, we've been cool. He comes over to my place a couple times a week to smoke and talk a bit. Then he leaves. _That's it_. And that's all it was that day you showed up and then stormed off like a 5 year old."  
  
Shane shot her a look and her expression softened. "Sorry."  
  
"So that's it?" he said.  
  
"Yeah, that's it."  
  
"Alright."  
  
He sat there staring at her for a moment. "You can go now."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You can go."  
  
"Don't you have anything to say?"  
  
"...No."  
  
Amber gawked at him. "Are you  _kidding_ me? We go 2 and a half weeks without talking, I finally face you and tell you what happened, and you just want me to _leave_?"  
  
Shane rubbed his hand over his face, and the brick wall guarding him crumbled, breaking his façade. It took him a while to build up the courage to speak, but when he did, his voice came out low and quiet. "I don't want you to leave."  
  
"Then why are you trying to make me?"  
  
_"Because I feel like a fucking idiot."_  
  
"You're only an idiot if you still don't believe me. But you do, right?"  
  
"...Yeah."  
  
Kind of.  
  
"Then it's all good."  
  
Another, much longer moment of silence passed, and Amber chuckled quietly, picking at the hem of her dress.  
  
"You know what's funny though?"  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"If you hadn't ran off that day, your shorts would have been on my bedroom floor within the hour."  
  
Shane groaned quietly and pulled his knees up to his chest, placing his head on them while Amber laughed. When her laughter died down, she put her hand on his back. "I'm still completely open to it, though," she said softly.  
  
He froze under her touch.  
  
"That is, if you are."  
  
He bolted upright - then, realizing he'd looked too eager, blushed. "Uh.. yeah."  
  
Amber smiled, biting her lip. "Tomorrow, then? After you get off work? I'd say right now, but I doubt you wanna do it here, and my house is kind of a wreck so I'd like to clean it up a bit."  
  
_Tomorrow?_ So soon? Shane thought of saying that he didn't care about the mess in her house, but figured he'd already seemed too enthusiastic and didn't want to scare her off.  
  
"Alright."  
  
She smiled again, then looked around. "Speaking of wrecks, your room is a lot cleaner compared to when I was last in here. Well, fewer beer cans at least."  
  
Shane didn't respond - he was too embarrassed.  
  
"You into sparkling water now, instead?"  
  
He followed her gaze to the empty cardboard box he'd kicked aside that landed near his closet.  
  
"I've been, uh, cutting down on drinking."  
  
He flinched a little, expecting her to criticize him or poke fun in some way, but she just nodded. "Good for you. I used to have a co-worker back at HQ who was an alcoholic... Poor dude pissed himself at work while standing at the water cooler and got fired that very same day."  
  
It was shocking, the way Amber just casually threw the word "alcoholic" out there like it meant nothing. Like she was discussing the fucking weather.  
  
"But you don't seem to be  _that_ bad," she continued.  
  
Feeling emboldened by her choice of words, Shane chuckled. "I guess you could say I'm a 'functional alcoholic'."  
  
"So you're cutting down just a bit, or altogether, or what?"  
  
"I stopped drinking at home, but I still go to the saloon some nights after work."  
  
"What prompted the change?"  
  
Once again, Shane dropped his head. She obviously didn't know. In this small town, news traveled like lightning, and he was well aware that everyone knew of his... incident. Everyone except for her.  
  
For a hot second he considered being honest with her, but figured he'd save himself the tiniest bit of embarrassment and go with a half-truth instead.  
  
"Just drank too much. Tired of feeling like crap every morning."  
  
Amber smiled, and for a second he felt his heart make a tiny leap before quickly smothering the feeling.  
  
"I'm proud of you," she said. "That must be tough."  
  
It leaped again.  
  
"It is."  
  
The day so far had been an absolute roller coaster when it came to Amber. Shane went from missing her in the morning, to hating her at the party, and now, with her at his side praising him for not being as much of a drunk asshole as before, he wished earlier he'd told her that right there on top of his wrinkled, unwashed sheets just walls away from his aunt and goddaughter would be the perfect place for them to...  
  
There came a knock, and the two snapped their heads toward the door.  
  
A small voice came from the other side. "Shane?"  
  
"Uh, yeah Jas?"  
  
"Will you come play my new board game with me?"  
  
"Sure, just give me a minute."  
  
"Okay."  
  
He waited a moment for her to walk away, but she didn't.  
  
"Jas?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You can just go to your room, I'll be right there."  
  
"Okay."  
  
After she ran off, Amber turned to him and grabbed his face, kissing him hard. Before he could register what had happened, she pulled away and stood, striding to the door and opening it.  
  
"Tomorrow."

 

* * *

 

  
As soon as she was out of view of the ranch house, Amber pulled the dusty heels off her feet and continued her walk home barefooted, stumbling occasionally as she stepped on sharp bits of gravel. She considered putting her heels back on but figured she'd rather have sore feet for a while than blisters.  
  
By then, the pounding of her heart had almost completely died down. Being so peppy and outgoing like she'd been that day was easy once she got going, but it always left her feeling ridiculously drained.  
  
She arrived home, dying for a smoke, but as she was opening the door, she heard the rumbling of a truck approaching from her right. She stepped to the edge of the porch and noticed it was Lewis coming to pick up her small shipment of leftover, late-blooming spring crops.  
  
Amber once asked him why the mayor of all people decided to take on the task of delivering her produce to Pierre's, and he responded telling her of the impact her grandfather had across the entire valley and that he felt as if it were his way of honoring her grandfather's memory, adding "If there is ever anything else you need, just say the word. I will always help out a Harris."  
  
Since then, she'd actually warmed up to the old man.  
  
Lewis stepped out of the truck and gave her a wave. "Evening, Miss Harris!"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Oh, can't complain," he said, grunting as he lifted a burlap sack full of potatoes out of the bin and settled them inside the bed of the truck. "How'd the planting go?"  
  
"Same as always. Planted more melons this year since they seemed to be pretty popular last year."  
  
"Wonderful! I hadn't had a melon so good since your grandfather ran this place!"  
  
"That's funny, I actually heard almost the same thing earlier."  
  
"Well, it's true. You really live up to the Harris name, young lady."  
  
Amber blushed. "You're just saying that."  
  
"I never just say anything," he chuckled."  
  
"Well... I try my best."  
  
Lewis nodded and gently placed the last bits of produce in his truck before closing the shipping box. "I'll be bringing your payment tomorrow evening instead of in the morning, if that's alright. I have to make a trip to Chesterfield tomorrow, and I won't be back until around suppertime."  
  
"That's fine," she said, then remembered her plans with Shane and added hastily, "You can just leave it in my mailbox and I'll get it the next morning."  
  
"Alright then, be seeing you."  
  
"Thanks again, Lewis."  
  
With a tip of his cap, Lewis got in his truck and drove away.

 

* * *

 

  
Shane spent the entire 8 hours at work nervous as hell, coming up with a million different scenarios of how the night would go - most of them ending up poorly. He had also sneaked his phone onto the floor with him, checking it every chance he got expecting a text from her telling him she'd changed her mind... but there was none.  
  
On his way home, he tried to come up with an excuse he could give his aunt to let him borrow the truck for a couple hours, and settled on the lame excuse that she invited him over for dinner - an excuse Marnie accepted without any suspicion.  
  
With that covered, he headed to the shower and washed himself thoroughly, even going so far as to trim his pubic hair a little. He wasn't into the whole "de-forestation" thing, but he also didn't want to shove a jungle in Amber's face and risk her being completely and totally disgusted.  
  
...But what if she was disgusted by  _any_ amount of hair? Should he shave it all anyway? Why was this shit so difficult?  
  
After the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped to the mirror, wiping away the fog.  
  
Running a hand over his stubbled chin, he debated whether or not he should shave his face. There was a chance she might want him to go down on her, after all. He didn't know what it was like for women to have facial hair rubbing against such a sensitive area, but he imagined it would be uncomfortable... so he did, just in case.  
  
Then he brushed his teeth.  
  
And brushed them again.  
  
And then once more, for good measure.  
  
And after that, swished some mouthwash, too.  
  
When it came to what he should wear,  _that_  he didn't think about too much, and put on what he was most comfortable in - the old jacket, gridball shirt, cargo shorts combo.  
  
Before he left, he checked his appearance in the mirror, and whatever good feelings he had from knowing that Amber wanted to fuck him fled the second he saw himself. He didn't understand what she saw in him - couldn't see how she could put her hands all over him and still want to touch what lay beneath his clothes.  
  
_Maybe I should just stay here. I'm sure she's had much better-looking guys in the city... I'd just be a disappointment._  
  
But not even his own self-consciousness could resist her.  
  
Marnie and Jas were sitting at the table eating dinner when he left his bedroom.  
  
"I'll be back in a couple hours."  
  
"Bye, Shane!"  
  
"Don't have _too_ much fun," Marnie said, lifting an eyebrow and smirking.  
  
Oh, goddamnit. Maybe he should stay home after all.  
  
Now completely red-faced, he took the keys off the counter and left the ranch.  
  
When he pulled up to Amber's house and saw her silhouette in the window, his heart which had been pounding steadily before, took off in a full gallop. He approached the stairs slowly, and before he could even get up one step, Amber rushed outside.  
  
"You need to go park that somewhere else," she said, pointing at the truck.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Lewis is going to be here at some point to drop my money from Pierre's off in the mailbox, and if he sees the truck here, well, then..."  
  
Shane nodded. "Oh. Okay."  
  
He hopped back in the truck and pulled it behind her house, making sure it couldn't be seen from the road leading to town. When he came back around the front of the house, Amber ran down the steps and dragged him inside.  
  
She shut off the overhead light, leaving only bright flashing from the muted TV and stood there, looking into his eyes. His heart's pace increased even further as he wondered if they were already about to get down to it until she very softly said, "Do you want a drink?"  
  
His body went rigid, heart coming to a standstill.  
  
_Did she just... ask me if I wanted a drink?_  
  
It had only been about 24 hours since they had their brief discussion about him cutting down his drinking, and here she was asking him if he wanted a _drink_?  
  
_Of course_ he wanted one. He almost  _always_ did, and now, being in the situation he was in, he wanted one even more. It'd make this whole damn situation easier to handle, after all.  
  
To his shame, he nodded.  
  
"Okay, well I've got water, uh... some soda - lemon lime, if that's okay - milk..."  
  
He clenched his eyes shut.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked, before gasping quietly. "Oh. Oh, you thought I meant..."  
  
He opened his eyes to see her rubbing her forehead. "Yeah, that was poorly worded."  
  
"Kind of."  
  
"It's just... I'm really thirsty right now, and I didn't want to get something without offering you anything, and... oh god, this already isn't going well, is it?"  
  
"It's fine," he said. And it was. Sort of.  
  
"Okay, well... come on."  
  
He followed her to the kitchen where she opened the fridge, gesturing to the contents inside.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Just water's fine."  
  
She prepared them both a glass of water from a filtered pitcher. They leaned against the counter, and drank silently, the only sound being the dull ticking of a rooster-themed clock above the stove.  
  
Amber put her cup down behind her. "I'm not really good at this whole thing."  
  
"Me either."  
  
"I mean, I'm usually drunk when I do this."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Shane took another sip before a flash of realization hit him. When it came to preparing for tonight, he had covered pretty much all bases except for the most important one.  
  
"I didn't, uh... I - I don't have any... are you on..."  
  
"Yes, Shane, I'm on birth control."  
  
"Ah." Good.  
  
" _And_ I'm completely clean."  
  
He nodded. "Me too." He may have made a lot of poor life choices, but being irresponsible and catching diseases was not one of them.  
  
After an awkward silence, Amber spoke. "I guess we should..." she trailed off, nodding her head toward her bedroom.  
  
"A-are you sure?"  
  
"No, Shane, I just have you over here after dark because I need you to fix my sink." She rolled her eyes. "I do have something wrong with my sink, though. Keeps sputtering every time I turn the tap on."  
  
"I can try to fix it for you, if you want. Tomorrow, that is."  
  
"Yeah, okay," she said, smiling.  
  
Shane nervously returned her smile, but it was quickly erased when Amber reached out and gently took his hand. She was leading him through the living room when a loud, sharp knock came on the front door causing him to jump, dropping the cup he had forgotten to put down. It shattered on impact, sending shards of glass scattering across the hard wood floor. Some of the water pooled together in several cracks and raced toward the coffee table.  
  
_"Shit!"_ he whispered, blushing.  _"I'm so sorry!"_  
  
He looked to Amber who had buried her face in her hands. "It's okay," she responded, her voice muffled. "Just... go to my room."  
  
Stepping over the glass, he headed toward the back of the house.  
  
The reality of his situation didn't completely sink in until he took his first step across the threshold into her bedroom. Amber had thrown a brown silk scarf over the top of a table lamp in an apparent attempt to dim the harsh light. It worked all too well as it cast an alluring bronze glow across her bed which was very neatly made and smelled like fresh linen.  
  
_Oh god, this is actually gonna happen._  
  
"Lewis? Is something wrong?" Shane heard Amber say from the front door.  
  
"I know you told me to leave this in your mailbox, but there was this letter in there, and it looks important, so I thought I should give it to you right away."  
  
"Okay, well thank you so much."  
  
"You have a good night now, Miss Harris."  
  
"You too. Night."  
  
The front door closed, and as Shane closely examined the tiny plants Amber had potted and growing on her dresser, he heard the sounds of her sweeping up the glass and then retrieving a towel, mopping up the water. When she had finished, she came into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.  
  
"This is a fucking disaster."  
  
He looked up from the plants. She seemed absolutely crestfallen.  
  
"It's not," he said in an attempt to console her.  
  
"Don't lie."  
  
"It's not the best, but it's not a disaster."  
  
She crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, gazing up at him miserably. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry for."  
  
"This was supposed to be sexy and fun."  
  
"It's fine. _Really_." He looked at her sullen expression and then said, "Do you just want to try again another time?"  
  
"No, no!" She protested. "I really want to do this."  
  
"Alright, so then let's just... start slow. Maybe... do what we did last time."  
  
"...Okay."  
  
He sat down beside her, turning his body until their knees touched slightly. Just like last time, she reached forward and placed her hands gently on his neck, but this time looked straight into his eyes. With that action, it was like a switch had flipped in her head, and she was suddenly much more brazen then she'd been just moments earlier.  
  
Quicker than he expected, she leaned forward, her eyes fluttering shut, and kissed him. The initial kiss was like a shockwave, starting as an explosion in his brain and fizzling out at his fingertips.  
  
He drew his hands up to hold the sides of her head, feeling her soft lips move warmly against his until she suddenly pulled back, cheeks flushed.  
  
"Is this okay?"


	12. Chicken Salad

It's amazing, the difference between kissing when drunk and kissing when sober. When drunk, kissing is too often a temporary means to an end - a quick, messy transfer between not fucking and fucking. When sober, though, it's a part of the whole experience, part of the foreplay. A way to really get familiar with a person before actually diving in deep.  
  
When Amber was with Nathan, there was never really much kissing. Her relationship with him mostly boiled down to a coded text sent from one to the other, and then they'd meet up, fuck, then leave. The only time their lips ever really met was when their faces happened to be in very close proximity and not occupied with the other's genitals.  
  
As always, things seemed to be different with Shane.  
  
Kissing Shane made Amber lose all sense of space and time - all she was aware of were the lips working with hers, the tongue tasting faintly of mint dancing around in her mouth, and the large hands roaming up her back, across her shoulders, through her hair... A 50 foot wide flaming asteroid could have crashed right outside Amber's bedroom door and she wouldn't have noticed.  
  
Pulling away, Amber hastily removed her shirt, tossing it to the side as she stared into Shane's watchful eyes. She reached behind her back with shaking fingers and fumbled with the hooks on her bra until they unclasped and the straps fell past her shoulders. With a shake, her bra fell almost silently to the floor.  
  
"Go lay down," she breathed, her heart pounding heavily.  
  
Amber stood and pulled her shorts down while Shane removed his shoes and climbed onto the bed. Turning around, she noticed that he had reclined himself on her pillows and saw the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he watched her. She crawled to him and threw a leg over to straddle him, then leaned down and put her mouth to his once again. Immediately, he slid his hands over her ass and pushed her down onto his hips, groaning.  
  
God, it was like he knew exactly what to do to set her on fire. Biting his lip, she grabbed one of his hands and guided it to the wet heat between her thighs. He entered her briefly and then with slick fingers, stroked her clit in slow, small, soft circles.  
  
"Harder," she begged, and he applied a bit more pressure making Amber arch herself into him.  
  
"Like that?"  
  
She couldn't answer - only hum a tune of affirmation which encouraged him to keep up the pace, stroking with one hand and gently squeezing her ass with the other. It was good... _too_  good. With each moan from her came one of his own, and the two groped and rubbed and kissed and pressed against each other until Amber felt her pleasure burning and starting to build up deep in her core.  
  
Breaking free from his grasp, she slid off him and reached straight for his shorts - first unbuttoning, then unzipping, and finally pulling them and his underwear down past his knees.  
  
Shane shot up, bending at the waist as soon as she lowered her face to his crotch. "You - you don't have to..." he stammered nervously.  
  
She looked at him as if he'd said something unfathomably stupid. "I'm not selfish," she said before gently pushing him back down and taking him in her mouth.  
  
Even though she'd been with quite a few men, Amber's dick-sucking experiences were limited to her high school boyfriends and Nathan, so she was fairly insecure with her skills in that area. Shane didn't seem to have a problem with it however, since he reached down and threaded his fingers through her hair, groaning as she slowly bobbed up and down, occasionally pulling out all the way to swirl her tongue around the tip. She'd had her eyes closed, completely focused on the task at hand, but now decided to look up at him - she wanted to see what kind of expressions he made with her mouth wrapped around him.  
  
Apparently that had been the wrong thing to do, for not long after meeting his gaze, he jerked himself away, his dick leaving her mouth with a wet _pop_.  
  
"Did I do something wrong?" she asked sheepishly.  
  
"N-no, not at all! It's just... _fuck_ , when you looked up at me like that, I almost... I - I just don't want to do it in your mouth."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Amber was taken aback by how... oddly sweet that was.  
  
"So it felt okay?"  
  
"It was perfect."  
  
Those three little words sent a thrill through her stomach, one that was intensified when she glanced over at Shane's wet cock pulsing in the dim light like a trophy there for the taking.  
  
She went for him again, but this time pulled his bottoms off the rest of the way before climbing on top. Grasping him with one hand, she teased the tip by sliding it several times up and down her opening - watching the desire in his eyes increase before finally lowering herself onto him, never breaking her gaze.  
  
He felt so good - fit so perfectly inside her that at first, she didn't want to move. Unfortunately, the lack of movement would get the both of them nowhere very quickly, so placing her hands on his chest, she closed her eyes and began to grind - instantly finding the right angle to stimulate herself. Shane dug tightly into the flesh on her hips, occasionally sliding a hand up her stomach to grope a breast before grasping her sides again.  
  
She was content to feel this way forever. It was a steady, simple pleasure, one that went completely off-kilter the second Shane began to thrust lightly underneath her.  
  
" _Oh, fuck,_ " Amber moaned quietly, her breath becoming jagged with each movement.  
  
It was building again - the pressure in her core. When she opened her eyes, she saw Shane looking straight at her face as if he were getting off not just on the feeling down below, but also on the flush of her cheeks, the biting of her lip, the moans escaping her mouth that were gradually increasing in volume. Upon meeting her gaze, Shane's thrusts became more enthusiastic, and before long, the pressure had reached its limits and split her in two - her mouth opening wide in a gasp, eyes fluttering shut again as she clenched his shirt in her hands, riding the fiery wave.  
  
Just as she was finishing, Shane slammed her down one last time and roughly rocked her back and forth against his hips, convulsing beneath her until he slowed to a stop.  
  
They stayed that way for a while - eyes closed, breathing heavily until Shane's hands fell to the side and Amber's legs felt strong enough to climb off of him. She suddenly felt so exposed sitting there naked on the bed, and had absolutely no idea where to go from there. Putting on her clothes and leaving her own house wasn't really an option, so it came as a huge relief when Shane was the first to speak.  
  
"I don't really know what to say."  
  
"Neither do I," she said, laughing nervously. Her eyes shot to the clock on the nightstand. "Um... it's not too late... you wanna stay a little longer and eat something?"  
  
He looked toward the clock as well, and after a second, nodded.  
  
After cleaning herself up in the bathroom and getting changed into some fresh clothes, Amber stopped by her bedroom to find Shane now fully dressed, sitting on the edge of her bed.  
  
"Bathroom's free," she said, and then left for the kitchen.  
  
Since it was late, she didn't feel like cooking much, so she decided to take the chicken salad she was going to have for lunch the next day and made a couple sandwiches with a side of orange slices. She was just peeling the second orange when Shane entered the kitchen and stood silently by the chair he'd sat in the last time he was there.  
  
"Chicken salad sandwich and oranges okay?"  
  
"That's fine."  
  
The mood had officially fully shifted back into how it was when he'd first arrived that night, and it was killing her.  
  
Amber slid Shane's plate and a glass of water across the table and sat down with her own. The sounds of their chewing and occasional sips of water resounded through the otherwise silent room, making for the most painfully awkward meal she'd ever had.  
  
She kept her eyes glued to her plate, focusing intently on a hairline crack which spidered out from the center. Wasn't too surprising - these dishes had been her grandfather's after all, and who could say how long _he'd_  had them? She began to wonder how many meals had been eaten off her plate in particular when she realized she had no more food to pick up. Glancing up at Shane, she noticed he was barely halfway done.  
  
"Do you not like it?"  
  
He looked up mid-chew and swallowed. "No, I do," he said, and took another bite as if to prove it.  
  
"You don't have to eat it if you don't like it."  
  
Shane dropped his head, and after a long moment, looked up at her regretfully. "This has pickles."  
  
"Um... yes?"  
  
"I kind of hate pickles."  
  
"Oh."  
  
" _A_ _lot_."  
  
Well, shit.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said. "If I'd known, I would have made you something else."  
  
"It's fine, really."  
  
"I can make you something else if you want."  
  
"I'm actually not very hungry anyway."  
  
"Oh. Al-alright."  
  
Cheeks burning, she grabbed his plate and silently dumped the contents in the trash before bringing it and her own plate to the sink to wash them. She lifted up the handle, and like it did earlier that day, the sink sputtered, water coming out in short gushes.  
  
" _Stupid fucking thing,_ " she whispered angrily as she quickly washed the plates and set them in the drainer.  
  
"Do you still want me to come over tomorrow and try to fix that?"  
  
Amber turned around, surprised. When he'd first brought it up, she assumed he didn't really mean it - that it was just one of those empty promises people sometimes like to make to seem thoughtful.   
  
"Yeah, sure, if you're not busy."  
  
"What time should I come over?"  
  
"Any time after 7 is fine. I have a toolbox in my shed in case you need one."  
  
"Okay."  
  
The awkward silence returned as they both stood quietly by their chairs.  
  
"I guess... maybe I should get going..." Shane said finally.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Told Marnie we'd just be having dinner..."  
  
"Right..."  
  
He hesitated a moment, his eyes flickering up to hers before giving the top of his chair a couple small pats, then turned and walked toward the living room. Amber followed, and as she passed by the TV, her eyes fell on the Mega Station.  
  
"Oh, you might want to take this with you," she said, gesturing to the thick black console.  
  
"Did you play it at all?"  
  
"Yeah, a bit. I think I've gotten to be pretty good at it..." She looked up at him shyly. "You wanna play a couple rounds before you leave?"  
  
Shane seemed shocked to hear her request, but quickly nodded.  
  
"Alright then," she said, a cocky smile overtaking her face. "Get ready to get your ass beat."  
  
After turning the system on and handing Shane his controller, Amber sat on the opposite end of the couch as they started up the game. She felt confident in the skills she'd developed over the past couple weeks, but they served her absolutely no purpose since he completely smashed her.  
  
"I guess I _haven't_  gotten better," she said, chuckling, then looked over to find Shane with a hand clamped over his mouth - his body shaking silently as if he were attempting to suppress an urge to burst into laughter. When he finally got himself under control, he turned to Amber whose face was completely deadpan.  
  
"Don't be like that," he said, sputtering out a small laugh. "I've been playing games my whole life. It'd be pretty bad if I suddenly started losing to someone who'd never played any up until a few weeks ago."  
  
"Can we just go again?"  
  
"As long as you're okay with _losing_  again."  
  
They played a couple more rounds, both going about the same as the first. Shane scooted close to Amber and began to teach her the ins and outs of the game - how to use combos more efficiently, which characters had a slight advantage over other characters, and most importantly... how to block. She was a quick learner, and got to the point where she was able to get him down to at least half health before dying.  
  
They had just started another round when Shane suddenly pulled his phone out of his pocket, and after looking at it for a moment, shoved it back in and stood, saying, "Shit. I've gotta go."  
  
"Oh."  
  
After gathering everything up, Amber walked him to the door, opening it for him. Before he stepped out, he looked at her, his face slightly flushed.  
  
"I, uh... I had a good time."  
  
"Yeah, me too," she said meekly.  
  
Shane took one step out the door then turned back, grabbing Amber's jaw with his free hand and pulling her into a kiss. He left her stunned, standing in the open doorway as he walked down into the darkness.

 

* * *

 

  
Shane stayed up a good portion of the night researching sputtering faucets, and realized first, that he was in over his head and second, that he should _not_  have made that promise. Everything seemed so complicated, he thought all he'd have to do was tighten a screw or something. All the shit he read and videos he watched gave him a _bit_  of knowledge, but most of the solutions seemed to be _way_  outside of his extremely limited skill set.  
  
Having stayed up so long, he woke up later than usual, his stomach churning from anxiety. When he finally forced himself out of bed, he looked at his clock and saw that it was 10:03.  
  
_"Anytime after 7,"_ she'd said.  
  
Although it was only a few hours past the time, he still felt as if she might think he ditched her, so he showered quickly, brushed his teeth quickly, and dressed quickly before stopping by the counter where Marnie sat.  
  
"Hey, can you watch Jas for a while longer today? I promised Amber I'd help her try to fix her kitchen sink."  
  
Marnie sat up straight in her stool and raised a brow. "You don't know anything about that stuff."  
  
"Yeah. I know..." he said pathetically, trailing off.  
  
Her other brow raised as she silently took a sip of coffee.  
  
Shane groaned. "What's that look for?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," she said. "Just wondering what you're going to do when you get there and she sees you have no idea what you're doing."  
  
He put his elbows on the counter and pressed his palms hard into his eyes - a starburst of white shot across his vision. "I have no fucking clue."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with admitting you don't know. She can always go to Robin."  
  
"Don't even know why I made that stupid promise," he mumbled quietly.  
  
"You're an infatuated young man," Marnie said plainly. "Infatuated young men make all sorts of stupid promises."  
  
Shane dropped his hands. "I'm not... _infatuated_. She's my friend."  
  
"Right. That beautiful, strong, _single_  young lady whom you like to spend hours of alone time with is just your friend."  
  
He turned to leave. "I'm gonna go now."  
  
"Tell your  _friend_  I said hi!" Marnie called as he closed the door behind him.  
  
Shane wasn't but five minutes into his walk toward the farm when he began to sincerely regret wearing his jacket. It was only around 10:30, yet the sun beat down unusually hard, making Shane feel as if he'd spent the last hour in a sauna. He considered taking the jacket off, but he could feel the cold wetness of sweat under his arms and didn't want Amber to see.  
  
_She probably won't be bothered with sweaty armpits during the fucking SUMMER,_ the rational part of his brain thought.  
  
Like always, though, the irrational part of his brain won, and he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he continued down the road. When first arriving on the farm, he could see Amber off in the distance, kneeling in the dirt. As he approached, he noticed she had on headphones, probably listening to music as she filled the old paint bucket beside her with weeds.  
  
"Hey."  
  
No answer.  
  
" _Hey_."  
  
Still nothing.  
  
He nudged her back with his shoe and she jumped, turning around.  
  
"Oh," she said, pulling the headphones off her ears and letting them hang around her neck. "Hey."  
  
All his worries about being too sweaty were put to rest since Amber looked as if she'd just ran a marathon. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail which had become messy, the stray strands sticking firmly to her glistening skin. The tank top she wore also clung wetly to her body, and he watched as a bead of sweat dripped down past her neck and rolled in between her breasts. This Amber was so different than the Amber he'd been intimate with the night before, but both were equally stunning.  
  
She stood up and knocked the dirt off her knees, head tilted in confusion at the sight of his jacket. "Aren't you hot in that?"  
  
"No," he said, the wetness on his upper lip betraying him.  
  
"Hmmm..." She raised a brow. "Well, toolbox is in the shed, like I said. You can go ahead and get started if you want. I don't have too much work left to do out here, so I'll be in there after I'm done."  
  
Shane thought about telling her the truth - that he knew fuck all about plumbing, and that he had no reason to offer his help. Instead, he just nodded and took the long walk past rows of dirt and hints of green to her shed.  
  
It didn't take him long to find the toolbox as it was right on the table in front of him when he entered. Still, he stayed a minute to look around. This was a part of Amber's world he hadn't really seen, and he was curious to learn a little more about it.  
  
She hung her tools on the wall to the left, and on the right sat a push reel mower and two giant blue plastic barrels with **FERTILIZER** written in all caps on the side. Aside from the toolbox, the table in front held multiple pairs of gardening gloves, a stack of terracotta pots, and four 10 pound bags of seeds - 3 radish and 1 red pepper.  
  
He wondered if the bags meant she hadn't planted them, and felt a bit of disappointment at the possibility of not being able to eat peppers that she'd grown herself.  
  
_What the fuck does it matter? Peppers are peppers, no matter where they come from._  
  
He gave the 4th seed bag a long, final look as he stepped out of the shed.  
  
The cool air inside Amber's house brought him overwhelming relief from the heat outside. After kicking off his shoes and _finally_  removing his jacket, he saw just how wet his shirt was - practically soaked.  
  
There was a fan by the couch, so he flicked it on and stood in front of it, holding the cloth away from his body for a few minutes, but quickly learned that it was making no difference.  
  
Shane rushed to the front window and peeked out. Amber had only moved a row or two over since he'd first arrived, with about 7 more rows to go. He practically ran to her bathroom and opened every drawer in search of a hair dryer. Finding one, he turned it on full blast at aimed it at himself, feeling absolutely ridiculous.  
  
The hair dryer worked faster than expected, and once he was done, Shane placed it carefully back in the drawer the way he found it. On his way out, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and began to fuss with his hair. Before Amber, he'd never really been so damn concerned about it other than shampooing it when dirty and occasionally dying it to give his naturally black hair a slightly purple sheen. Now, he almost _always_  worried about it.  
  
A couple minutes went by and he was still adjusting single strands of hair when he remembered why he was even at her house to begin with. Flicking the bathroom light off, he made his way to the kitchen and approached the sink, _praying_  it had magically gotten fixed overnight. Unfortunately, when he lifted the handle, it sputtered just as it had the night before.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
Shane assumed that since the ranch had a well water system, she did too, and knew based on what he'd read that there'd really be no way for him to fix it - that she'd have to call in for the work of a professional.  
  
_I'm so fucking useless_ , he thought, collapsing on her couch. _Almost 30 years old and practically zero skills with anything handy... I can only fucking lift shit, stock shit, and raise fucking chickens. Why the hell did I think I'd be able to do anything about this?_  
  
He considered leaving when he heard Amber's footsteps on the porch followed by the door opening. She gasped at the sudden cool air and subsequently laughed at her own reaction as she pulled the headphones off her head and unplugged them, the sound of her music blasting from her phone.  
  
"Whoop!" she exclaimed, hastily pressing pause.  
  
"Didn't expect you to listen to that kind of music."  
  
Amber dropped her things on the table by the door and tilted her head curiously. "What kind of music did you think I listened to?"  
  
"I dunno. Country?"  
  
"Because I'm a _farmer_? Did you forget I come from the city?"  
  
"Classical, then."  
  
"You're cute," she said, smiling. "Did you get my sink fixed?"  
  
Shane was first dumbstruck by her comment, then immediately began to panic, automatically spitting out something he'd learned from the night before. "I think there's too much air in your lines. You're probably gonna need a professional."  
  
"Oh. Well, thanks anyway for checking it out." She took her boots off and placed them neatly against the wall before picking up her phone again. "Hey, do you wanna stick around for a bit longer? I'm done working for the day."  
  
"Y-yeah, sure."  
  
"Alright, well I'm gonna call Robin real quick and then take a shower, so you can just put on whatever you want. I'll make us something to eat when I get out. No pickles this time, I _promise_!"  
  
She strode through he living room toward the hallway, nodding at the remote on the coffee table as she passed.  
  
_Did I seriously get away with that?_  
  
Shane flicked through the channels for a while, settling on the Zuzu City Sports Network where they were reviewing the top 20 best gridball plays. He sat, not paying much attention until Amber came back from the shower and laid down on the couch, her feet just inches away from him.  
  
"I've gotta lay down for a bit, if that's alright."  
  
"Yeah, that's fine," he said, eyes fixed on the screen.  
  
After a few minutes of just the ZCSN host's voice, Amber nudged Shane with her toes and spoke. "About last night..."  
  
Shane's stomach dropped. "Yeah?"  
  
"I was wondering if you considered it to be a one-time thing, or if it was something you wanted to repeat."  
  
He didn't know how to answer that. _Of course_ he wanted to repeat it, but he didn't know if _she_  did.  
  
Taking a chance, he turned to her, flushing, and nodded. She sat up and crawled over to where he sat, placing a hand on his inner thigh and her mouth by his ear. "Is right now okay?" she asked, her warm breath tickling his neck.  
  
Oh, _fuck_. In one instant, his heart beat _hard_ , sending a throbbing pulse straight down to his groin. Once again, he could do nothing but nod.  
  
Amber's hand slid further up and unzipped his shorts, then pulled down the waistband of his underwear setting him free. She took his earlobe into her mouth, gently sucking and nibbling as she worked his shaft. He grew harder in her hand as wave after wave of full body tingling washed over him. Just as he closed his eyes to melt into the feeling, she jerked away and slinked to the floor, and with a coy smile, lowered her head to his lap.  
  
" _Ohhhh_..." he breathed quietly, stroking her hair as she sucked him. He loved the pressure she gave when sliding all the way down to the base and back up again, and he loved it even more when she lifted her eyes to meet his. An unexpected bolt of lightning shot through him and he groaned, unintentionally grasping her hair and pulling it. Amber moaned, and Shane had no clue of whether it was in pain or pleasure, but as she maintained her carnal eye contact, he sort of didn't care.  
  
It was perfect. Everything about it was perfect.  
  
Until she pulled away again and stood.  
  
"Come on," she said, walking straight back to the bedroom.  
  
He stuffed himself back into his underwear and followed her. Amber had pulled the comforter from the bed and was in the process of stripping off her clothes when he entered the room.  
  
It was hard for him to believe that he had that naked body standing before him the night before, and that he was about to have her again. He'd fantasized about it many times, hoping that maybe in some odd world it would happen, but he didn't think it ever would... let alone twice.  
  
Amber approached him and yanked his bottoms down before leading him to the bed. She crawled backwards onto it until she reached her pillows, where she spread her legs and pulled him in between into a deep and desperate kiss. While both her hands grasped his hair, he used one to support his weight, and the other to explore her writhing body. She was so _soft_... everywhere was so _fucking soft_. He hadn't really _felt_  a woman like this in such a long time. His bar fucks were nearly fully clothed 10 minute ordeals in a bathroom stall or in the backseat of a car. They were never anything like _this_ , never so sensual.  
  
"Take off your shirt," she moaned in between kisses, and Shane froze. It was barely summer and Amber was already tan and in  _fantastic_ shape. He, on the other hand, was paler than the eggs Marnie's chicken's produced and while his arms were somewhat impressive, the rest of him really wasn't - especially his middle.  
  
Amber groaned impatiently, grasping the bottom of his shirt and lifting it up. He allowed her to pull it over his head, terrified that the second it was free, she'd regret her decision and ask him to put it back on or make him leave, but instead she tossed it to the side and yanked him back down again, begging for him to fuck her. He pushed himself in all the way and began to thrust, Amber's lips brushing across his neck as she met his stride underneath.  
  
"Am I squishing you?"  
  
"Not at all," she breathed. "You feel good."  
  
Amber seemed lost in him, gripping his body tightly as he pounded into her repeatedly, her breath coming out in small grunts and whimpers in his ear, driving him fucking _wild_.  
  
This was perfect. Everything about this was perfect.  
  
...  
  
_She_ was perfect.  
  
Before he knew it or could even really stop it, he gave one final, hard push - his cock pulsing deep inside her as he came.  
  
Once he could catch his breath, he buried his face in her neck and mumbled an apology.  
  
"For what?"  
  
He pushed himself up and looked down at her. "I... didn't do anything for you."  
  
Amber gazed up at him - biting her lip as she chuckled, and _god_ , he almost wanted to go again already.  
  
"It's fine," she said softly.  
  
"It's not."  
  
"It really is." She sat up. "Besides, if it really bothers you, you can always make it up to me next time."


	13. Something More

Despite Shane's deeper feelings toward Amber, he made an agreement with her to keep things casual, and over the course of the summer, the two met up every Friday and Saturday evening for a rendezvous at the farm.  
  
At first, it was a great routine - Amber would make dinner, they'd play some Ultra Fighter and afterwards, head to the bedroom - but it wasn't long before their whole situation began to weigh heavily on Shane's mind. This thing he had with her wasn't what he _really_  wanted. He didn't want to leave right after they were done, he wanted to _stay_  - wanted to keep her in his arms until morning, wanted to hold her hand, wanted to kiss her for no reason, wanted to be able to tell his annoyingly curious aunt and goddaughter that yes, Amber _is_  his girlfriend...  
  
Amber wasn't like the other women he'd been with. She was different. She was _special_ , and he wanted more... and it was killing him to think that he was the only one of the two that did. That was the feeling he resigned himself to deal with up to the last day of summer when he awoke to Jas barging into his room and shoving the house phone in his face a little past 7 in the morning.  
  
"Amber wants to talk to you!"  
  
He opened his eyes, the black handset mere inches away.  
  
Amber?  
  
He'd just been at her house nearly 8 hours prior... what could she possibly want?  
  
Head still on the pillow, Shane took the phone from Jas and laid it on top of his ear. "Hello?" he answered, his voice groggy from sleep.  
  
"Good morning."  
  
Sitting up, he switched the phone from one ear to the other and shooed Jas out of the room. "Why're you calling this phone?"  
  
"I tried yours, but I guess it's dead."  
  
He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone, pressing the button on the side. Sure enough, the screen stayed dark.  
  
"So what do you want?"  
  
"I need you to come over."  
  
"Amber," he sighed, scratching his head. "I told you that I had to clean the coop and barn today."  
  
"Oh. No, it's not that... I'm _way_  too busy today, got new seeds to start planting tomorrow."  
  
"Okay, then what?"  
  
"I need you to come over and check Pip out. She's kind of being a bitch," Amber said matter-of-factly.  
  
Shane felt as if his brain had short-circuited. Had he heard her correctly?  
  
"Shane?"  
  
"I'm sorry, she's being a what?"  
  
"A bitch."  
  
"I - What do you mean?"  
  
"I dunno," Amber sighed. "She's just being fucking _awful_. She was fine yesterday, but today she won't move from her box at all, and when I tried to get her out into the yard with Squeak, she started pecking the hell out of my hand."  
  
"You try looking it up?"  
  
"No... but I figured since she loves you more than me, you'd be able to get her straightened out. I don't really wanna start my work until she's taken care of."  
  
Shane stared silently at his comforter for a few moments, picking at a stray thread at the edge of the sheet.  
  
"Come on, chicken boy. I need you."  
  
His heart squeezed tightly in his chest, and before he could stop himself, said, "Alright. I'll be there in a bit."  
  
After getting ready for the day and explaining the situation to Marnie, Shane gathered up some stuff he thought Amber would need from the ranch and began the drive over.  
  
When he arrived at the farm, he saw her head peek out of the coop, followed by the rest of her body. He couldn't help but notice how cute she looked waiting somewhat impatiently for him as he pulled up to the coop, the truck rolling to a stop. By the time he was getting out, she'd begun beckoning wildly.  
  
"Hurry!" she waved, and retreated back inside. Shane followed her to see Pip sitting quietly in her nesting box.  
  
"Look. This is what she does to me." Amber stepped closer and slowly reached toward the hen. When she got close enough, Pip shot her neck out and began to nip at Amber's fingers.  
  
"See? She's being a bitch," Amber said, drawing her hand back and tenderly rubbing it with the other.  
  
Shane smirked. "She's broody."  
  
"Broody as in upset, or...?"  
  
"As in she's trying to hatch her eggs, but obviously can't."  
  
"Oh." Amber frowned. "So what do I do, then?"  
  
"I brought you a crate for her to stay in. You'll keep her in there for three days and three nights, and after that, she'll be fine."  
  
"It's that easy?"  
  
"As long as you keep her in there," Shane said, heading back out toward the truck. "She just needs some time to get over it."  
  
Reaching into the bed of the truck, he pulled out a small crate containing two plastic dishes, a small blue tarp, and a few bricks and brought it back into the coop. He removed the contents and set the crate up on two of the bricks.  
  
"What's the purpose of doing that?" Amber asked as she watched him work.  
  
"You're trying to cool her down. Keeping her off the ground and away from the nesting box helps with that."  
  
"And the tarp?"  
  
"To protect her from getting shat on," he said, weighing the tarp down with the last brick.  
  
Shane filled the plastic dishes with food and water and hooked them to the inside of the crate, then nodded at Amber. "Go ahead. Put her in there."  
  
"What, me?"  
  
"They're _your_  chickens."  
  
"Yeah, but she's gonna peck me. And she likes _you_  more."  
  
"You're overthinking it, it's really not that bad. Trust me," he said softly. "Just get in there and grab her."  
  
Amber stepped toward Pip, and after taking a deep breath, reached out and grabbed the hen, biting her lip as she carried her to the front of the crate and placed her inside.  
  
Shane shut the door and locked it. "See? You're a natural."  
  
"No, I learned from the best." She glanced up at him and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you."  
  
He held her in his arms perhaps a moment too long, then stepped away, clearing his throat. "So yeah, um... three days, three nights, and make sure she has plenty of fresh food and water."  
  
"Do I get to keep the crate, or should I pay for it?"  
  
"You can keep this one, but if you're going to get more chickens like you said, then you'll have to buy more," he said, leaving the coop and giving Squeak a little pat on his way out of the yard. He was just about to climb into the truck when Amber stopped him.  
  
"Hey, why don't you come to the field real quick? I'll give you a bunch of peppers as thanks."  
  
"I've really gotta get back..."  
  
"Come on, ten more minutes won't hurt, will it? Besides, it's not like I was interrupting you from your work or anything."  
  
Before he could answer, she began to jog up the road to her house, returning a few minutes later with a small canvas bag.  
  
Shane followed Amber to her long row of pepper plants where she pulled out a knife and began to cut away, placing each pepper into the bag.  
  
"So what time are you going to the jellies tonight?" she asked.  
  
"Whenever Marnie decides to leave, I guess."  
  
"Where do you guys usually sit?"  
  
"Marnie likes to stay off the docks because she doesn't trust them, so I let Jas stay with her on the beach... but I like to sit next to the Fish Shop. It's further out on the water, so you get a better view."  
  
"Sounds nice," Amber said, cutting off another pepper. "I've been looking forward to this thing ever since Sebastian told me about it."  
  
"Really the only event in this town I give a damn about."  
  
"Well, that and my birthday, right? You haven't forgotten that it's tomorrow, have you?"  
  
Shane smirked. "You haven't let me."  
  
"You get me anything?"  
  
He shuffled his feet nervously. "Yeah. I did."  
  
"Aw, really?" Amber cooed, obviously touched. "You should just give it to me tonight then, since we'll both be working tomorrow."  
  
"Alright..." He watched her move on to the next plant, and noticing that the bag was getting pretty full, spoke up again. "You know, I don't need that many peppers."  
  
"Just a couple more," she said as she began to cut through what seemed to be a particularly tough stem.  
  
Shane had looked away for only a second when he heard a hiss, and the dull sound of a knife hitting the earth. He looked back to see Amber clenching her left hand tightly.  
  
_"Fuck. Ohhhhhhh, FUCK."_  
  
"Jesus, what happened?" he asked, stepping closer.  
  
She didn't answer. Instead, she stayed curled over, whispering obscenities at the dirt beneath her. He knelt down beside her and took her hand, a thin stream of blood dripping onto his fingers. He couldn't see much, but he could tell that it would take more than just a band-aid to fix.  
  
" _Shit,_ Amber. You've gotta go to Dr. Harvey's."  
  
He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up, walking her quickly to the truck where he both opened and shut the door for her. Before taking off, he dug in the center console for an unopened travel pack of tissues and pulled out a few, handing them to her to press to her wound.  
  
On the way to the clinic, he couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of her slumped pathetically in the passenger seat. "This is what you get when you try to thank me."  
  
Amber turned her head and rolled her eyes. "No, this is what I get for not wearing my goddamn gloves."  
  
Once they entered the building, Maru, the nursing assistant, lifted her head from the computer and smiled before catching eye of the two and quickly assessing the situation.  
  
"Just wait right there a moment," she said, pushing through the door behind her. A minute later, she came through the door on the other side of the desk and held it open. "Go straight on through and take a right at the end of the hallway."  
  
Shane walked with Amber toward the door, but before he could go through, he was stopped. "I'm sorry, but I have to ask that you wait out here."  
  
Amber looked at her, then at Shane, and then back again. "Why can't he come with me?"  
  
"It's the clinic's policy that a patient can only have one family member at a time in the room, and seeing as the two of you aren't family..."  
  
"Oh, come on, that's fucking ridiculous!"  
  
"I - I'm sorry," Maru stammered, "but that's our policy..."  
  
"It's fine, Amber," Shane said. "I'll be right out here." He nodded reassuringly and watched as she stepped through the door followed by Maru who gave him a curious backwards glance.  
  
Once the door had swung shut, he sat down in one of the several worn-down blue chairs and flipped through several pages of an old home and garden magazine before realizing Marnie had expected him to only be gone for half an hour and most, and he'd clearly been gone for longer.  
  
Maru had come back through and re-taken her spot at the desk, so he stood and approached her anxiously. Once he stopped, she looked up and peered at him through her thick red glasses.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"Need to use your phone," he said, more gruffly than he intended. "Please."  
  
She nodded, and maintaining her professional composure, lifted the phone from its receiver and handed it over.  
  
Shane put in the ranch's number, and after a few rings, his aunt answered.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's me... I'm probably gonna be a bit later than I thought."  
  
"Why, what happened?"  
  
Shane's eyes flicked up to Maru who was attempting to watch him discreetly. He turned around before answering.  
  
"Had to take Amber to the clinic. She cut her hand."  
  
"Oh, that poor girl. How'd it happen?"  
  
"She was, uh... getting some peppers. For me." he said, feeling himself turn red.  
  
Marnie tsked, and was silent a moment before speaking again. "Don't worry about the ranch today. You just take care of her."  
  
"A-are you sure?"  
  
"I'm positive. Just try to be home in time for dinner, alright?"  
  
"I'll try."  
  
After hanging up, he handed the phone back to Maru and walked back to his chair where he sat reading the same magazine page over and over until Amber came back out, her hand wrapped in gauze and secured with medical tape. She made her way to the front desk where Maru scribbled on an appointment card and handed it to her with a smile.  
  
"Take care, Ms. Harris."  
  
Shane led Amber back out to the truck, and after starting down the road toward the farm, looked at her. "Was it bad?"  
  
"It could've been worse. Dr. Harvey said I was lucky it didn't go too deep. Needed about six stitches." She sighed. "He told me not to use my hand as much as possible until he can take the stitches out, but that's gonna be hard, especially with everything I have to do today."  
  
Shane thought for a moment. "I can help you."  
  
"I thought you had to work on the ranch?"  
  
"I told Marnie what happened, and she said she'd take care of things."  
  
"Oh... well, alright then."  
  
Once they reached the farm, Shane was immediately put to work harvesting the rest of the crops, removing the old plants, tilling the soil, and finally working in fertilizer in preparation for the next day's seed planting. When he was finished, Amber put the bag of peppers in the passenger seat and walked around to the driver's side.  
  
"You're a natural," she said.  
  
He smiled. "I learned from the best."  
  
"Shane, I..." she trailed off, sighing. "Thank you  _so_  much for today. You were a huge help." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a large wad of cash. "Here. For you."  
  
"No."  
  
"Shane, _please_ ," she insisted, holding it out further, but Shane pushed her hand back.  
  
"I'm not gonna take your money. I helped you because I _wanted_  to, not because I expected to get anything out of it."  
  
A small smile lifted on Amber's face, and she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"If you say so. See you in a few hours."

 

* * *

 

  
  
By the time Shane arrived at the beach with Jas and Marnie, nearly every person in town had settled into their spots. He couldn't tell from where he was standing whether his was still available or not, so he started to make his way over when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Amber.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Hearing her voice, Marnie and Jas turned around as well.  
  
"Amber!" Jas shrieked, and rushed over, immediately getting lifted up into a bear hug.  
  
"How's the hand, Amber?" Marnie asked.  
  
"Little sore," she said, chuckling as she set Jas back down.  
  
"Will you be alright on the farm? I've got some contacts, men you can hire while you recover."  
  
"Oh, no, I'll be fine. Shane helped me a ton today, so all I have to do tomorrow is just plant seeds. By the time I have to do any actual hard labor, I should be good to go."  
  
"Well, if you change your mind, just let me know and I'll give them a call for you. They're good people." Marnie said with a smile. "Anyway, jellyfish should be showing up any minute now, so we should hurry to our spots. Amber, you should stop by the ranch again some time. We'd love to have you."  
  
The group walked further down the beach before splitting, Marnie and Jas staying right, and Shane leading Amber onto the docks where, thankfully, his spot in front of the Fish Shop was still open.  
  
"This is where you sit?"  
  
"Where I sat last year, at least," he said, settling down on the old, creaky wood, his feet dangling above the deep, dark water.  
  
Amber sat down beside him. "So," she said," peering at him through the darkness with a smirk. "I don't see my gift anywhere. I told you to bring it."  
  
Shane reached into his jacket pocket, and without looking at her, handed over a small, square cardboard box. "Here."  
  
"Oh. I was just..." her voice trailed off as she took the box from his hand and opened it. " _Oh..._ "  
  
It was the simplest little thing - a thin gold chain with a small pendant no larger than a thumbnail in the shape of a chicken. Amber pulled the necklace from the box to get a better look.  
  
"Shane, this is... You didn't have to - "  
  
"It was nothing," he interrupted. "Just... something I found in the city when I went to get the truck serviced. Thought you'd like it."  
  
"I do. Thank you," she said quietly, staring at it in her hand for a minute before undoing the clasp and handing it back to him. "Will you help me put it back on?"  
  
Shane gathered the ends of the necklace in his fingers, and praying that he wouldn't drop it, carefully reached over her head and brought the ends behind her neck, securing the clasp. Amber turned back toward the water and murmured another thanks as she absentmindedly lifted her hand to touch the pendant.  
  
They sat silently for a while, listening to the lapping of the waves against the wooden legs of the dock below them and the excited whispering of nearby townspeople. Shane had seen the jellyfish countless times, but he still waited eagerly for the first sign of the bioluminescent jellies.  
  
When they finally showed, a quiet eruption of gasps sounded around the beach. Shane leaned forward slightly to see one pop up nearby. It was quite small, possibly just a baby, and it floated aimlessly through the water like a dancer in space, several others joining shortly after. The jellyfish drifted closer to the surface and stayed there a while almost as if they were watching him - as if the migration was as much of a spectacle for them as it was for the humans, and the longer he looked out, the more appeared until there seemed to be as many jellyfish in the water as there were stars in the sky.  
  
He felt as if he'd been watching them for hours when he was finally able to break his stupor and turned to Amber. Her face was aglow, not just from the jellyfish, but from sheer childlike wonder, and he couldn't help the way his heart squeezed tightly in his chest when she looked his way, a giant smile plastered on her face.  
  
For a second, he was afraid he had fallen in love with her.  
  
"They're so... _beautiful_ ," she breathed.  
  
"Yeah. They are," he said, his gaze fixed on her enchanted expression which changed to one of playfulness at his words.  
  
"You talking about them or me?"  
  
His pulse quickened as he spoke. "You."  
  
Amber's smile fell, and a twinkle formed in her eyes. Shane wasn't sure if it was due to the reflection of the jellyfish or something else, but his wonder quickly fled when she leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips.  
  
Their lips had only briefly touched when Jas's voice split through the night. "I knew it!"  
  
With a start, they broke away and turned to see Jas smiling wildly, her hands clasped together in front of her chest.  
  
Oh, fuck.  
  
Marnie was also close by, a smirk barely concealed on her face as she looked down at the two, clearly pleased at their shocked appearances. Shane nervously glanced to the side and noticed several townspeople looking his way.  
  
Oh, _fuck_.  
  
"I knew you were boyfriend-girlfriend!" Jas continued, Shane flinching at her words.  
  
"Jas, let's not bother them. They're obviously very busy," Marnie said in a hushed tone. Then, to Shane, "I was just coming to tell you that I'm taking Jas home."  
  
"Okay," his voice croaked out, face burning.  
  
Jas groaned as Marnie took her hand and led her from the docks, leaving Shane and Amber in stunned silence.  
  
As they sat, Shane's brain worked overtime trying to come up with an excuse to give Jas as to why he and Amber were kissing when he'd told the little girl countless times that they weren't together, but came up with absolutely nothing.  
  
"So much for keeping things on the down low," Amber's voice said quietly beside him. "Now the whole town will have the wrong idea about us."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
They tried to stay for a bit longer, but with that whole debacle, the novelty of the jellyfish had worn off, so Shane announced his desire to leave to Amber who decided to follow him, and as they left the beach, he tried his best to ignore the wide-eyed stares directed toward them as they walked past the people who had been within earshot of Jas's excited declaration.  
  
On the long walk to the farm, the two said not a word until they both stood on Amber's porch as she opened the door and flicked the light on inside.  
  
"You wanna come in for a bit?"  
  
Shane stood there for a minute staring down at the wooden floorboards.  
  
"Shane?"  
  
"I... can't do this anymore."  
  
"Do what?"  
  
Still staring down, he took a deep shuddering breath before speaking. "This... _thing_  we do, this _casual_  thing where we're... I dunno, friends with benefits or whatever."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Silence. Once again, more silence.  
  
"So what, then?" Amber said after a long while, her voice sounding as small as he felt.  
  
He looked up at her, and finally decided to speak his mind, to tell her the thoughts that had been keeping him up at night the past few weeks. "I want more. I've always wanted more, but I never said anything because I thought that I could be happy with what we were doing, but I can't. It's just not enough for me." He dropped his head. "Something for you to think about, I guess," he said, turning to leave.  
  
He was halfway down the stairs when Amber spoke up again.  
  
"I've never really had a real relationship before."  
  
He turned around and looked up at her.  
  
"Kind of ridiculous, I know, but that's just me," she said, shrugging. "And I sure as hell wasn't planning on getting involved with anyone when I first moved here."  
  
She walked forward until she reached the top of the stairs and sat down, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets and began to to fiddle with the necklace box.  
  
"For me, it's _always_  been stuff like this. Never met anyone I _really_  cared about, you know?" She looked up at him. "But I care about you."  
  
"...So why didn't you say so?"  
  
The question was ridiculous, he knew. He was just as capable of saying something as she was, but he had to know the reason.  
  
"I don't know. I'm stupid?" She said, shrugging again. "I guess it was easier for me to just throw myself at you than it was to say, 'Hey Shane, I like you, can I be your girlfriend and give this town full of busybodies gossip material for a year?'" she said, laughing awkwardly as she looked straight out into the darkness.  
  
After another long silence, she spoke once more. "If you want something more, then so do I."  
  
"You do?" Shane questioned, his heart skipping a beat.  
  
"Yeah," she nodded. "I do. Like I said, everyone's gonna think so anyway, so it might as well be true, right?"  
  
When he didn't answer, Amber glanced nervously back up at him. "So what do you say, chicken boy? Can I be your girlfriend?"  
  
Shane sat down beside her and held out his hand, worrying for a split second that she wouldn't take it and that everything she'd just said had been some part of a sick joke. She took it though, without any hesitation, and threaded her fingers through his.  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, unable to meet her eyes. "It is."  
  
With that, Amber dropped her head to the side, resting it on his shoulder as they sat on the farmhouse porch, listening as the cold wind blew through the trees and growing stalks of corn off in the distance.  
  
"You know, it's technically tomorrow, and you still haven't said Happy Birthday to me yet."  
  
Shane chuckled, then gave her hand a light squeeze. "Happy Birthday, chicken girl."


	14. 8-Ball

Stardew Valley, like always, was predictable - and just like Shane expected, the news of his and Amber's relationship had spread like wildfire by the time he entered town on his way to work the next day. What he didn't expect, however, was the rubbernecking he received from each person he passed. He thought of returning to his old way of telling everyone to fuck off and leave him alone, but realized that now he had Amber to think of, and didn't want her to look worse than she must already look - she _was_  now dating the town's resident asshole, after all.  
  
At least things at work seemed to be normal. After putting his belongings in his locker, he was immediately approached by Morris who started to lay into him about some inventory that was left by the freezers overnight and had spoiled. Never mind that it was the fault of the weekend shift, it was now apparently  _his_ problem, and it needed to get cleaned up right away or he would lose hours.  
  
Shane hated this fucking job... but he could at least take solace in the relative predictability and the fact that people for the most part left him alone until it came time for them to ask where JojaMart kept their dried pasta even though it was clearly displayed on the giant sign above the aisle where it was held.  
  
That is, until Sam, his co-worker that Shane swore used an entire bottle of gel to style his hair each morning stopped in front of him.  
  
"Hey, Shane, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sam set the broom he'd been holding against the shelf turned down the music which was booming from his headphones.  
  
Shane stopped shelving sodas and looked up at him, confused. Other than the sporadic invites at the saloon and the occasional plea for help for something work-related, Sam hardly ever talked to him. "Uh, sure."  
  
"I know Sebastian is friends with the farmer girl, and I know you're also... friends with her," Sam said, obviously tiptoeing around the news, "so I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with us at the saloon this Friday night. Play pool. Just chill, you know? Sebastian said he'd ask the farmer girl."  
  
"Amber," Shane said tersely.  
  
"Amber." he repeated, then looked at Shane nervously and expectantly.  
  
Shane didn't really want to hang out with them. They were several years younger and had such a close relationship that he'd feel more out of place among them than anywhere else he went in Pelican Town... but the high he was on from the night before had softened him somewhat, and he found himself wondering, _what's the worst that can happen? Why SHOULDN'T I go?_ Besides, he'd already told Sam no a million times, and looking at him now, he didn't think the kid could handle being rejected another time.  
  
He sighed. "If Amber decides to go, then I'll go too."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I _said_ , if Amb-"  
  
"Oh no, I heard you, I just - I wasn't sure I heard you right." Sam breathed a sigh of relief and his cheerful smile returned. "Sweet. Hope to see you there, then."  
  
"Don't get your hopes up," Shane grumbled, but Sam laughed, sliding his headphones back on and practically danced away. Shane immediately wondered what the hell he'd just agreed to.  
  
Shortly after beginning his walk home that evening, he received a phone call from Amber.  
  
"Hey, chicken girl."  
  
"Hey, chicken boy," she returned, and at once he felt the sourness of the work day start to disappear.  
  
"I know this is a stupid question, but how was work?"  
  
"Same as always. The walk there, not so much."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know those creepy paintings of people where it looks like their eyes are following you wherever you go?"  
  
"Mmhmm..."  
  
"It was like that."  
  
"Aw, man," Amber chortled. "I'm so fucking glad I didn't have to leave home today."  
  
Shane laughed dryly. "Yeah, lucky you." He sounded sarcastic, but a smile still came to his face. It felt nice to be walking down the road talking to her like this. They'd talked on the phone many times before, but never in this way - never a "how was your day?" sort of deal. This is what he had wanted.  
  
"You there?" she asked after he hadn't said anything for a while.  
  
"Yeah, I'm here. Just passed over the bridge by the library." He paused. "You get everything planted okay?"  
  
"For the most part. Hand hurts like hell, though."  
  
"Like I said, that's what you get for trying to thank me."  
  
"I'd thank you a million times over."  
  
Shane's already wide smile grew even wider, but after making eye contact with a couple townspeople staring at him and whispering to each other, his face fell and his pace quickened.  
  
"Hey, did Sam happen to talk to you today?" Amber questioned.  
  
"Uh, yeah. About the saloon thing?"  
  
"What'd you say?"  
  
"I told him I would if you would."  
  
"Then I guess we are. I wanted to see how you felt before I made my decision, so if you're okay with it, then I am too."  
  
"Sam's been asking me forever to join their little group... might as well humor him before he ends up showing up at my door in the middle of the night."  
  
"Watch us actually have a fun time," Amber said, giggling, causing Shane to press the phone closer to his ear in a desperate attempt to physically shove her laughter into his brain.  
  
They continued their talk until he reached the ranch, and once Jas was in bed, talked again until Amber began to fall asleep, and with that, a new routine was created.  
  
When he got off work that Friday, he headed home, showered, and was almost done getting dressed for the dreaded "friend date" when Marnie knocked on his door, opening it slightly.  
  
"Look at you, getting ready to go out with some friends!" she crooned.  
  
Shane's head snapped toward the door, and he rolled his eyes once he saw his aunt's sunny expression.  
  
"They're not my friends."  
  
"Not _yet_ , at least."  
  
"Don't hold your breath."  
  
Marnie sighed and leaned against the doorway, crossing her arms. "I don't understand you. If you're not excited about going, then why _are_  you going?"  
  
He turned away from the door and pulled on his jacket. This was not something he wanted to discuss with her right now. Or at _all_ , really.  
  
"Oh," she said, suddenly understanding. "It's because of Amber. Of _course_."  
  
Shane silently walked over to the dresser and began to dig through for a pair of socks.  
  
"You know, I'm glad you two finally stopped being so secretive. There's only so long you can hide a secret in this town."  
  
"What about the one about you and Lewis?" he said, annoyed, slamming the dresser drawer shut. The words had tumbled out before he could stop them, and he knew what he'd just said had been a low blow.  
  
There was a taut silence - and a knock on the front door. Marnie frowned, shaking her head, and left. A minute later, Amber came through and closed the door behind her.  
  
"Wow, you _really_  cleaned up in here."  
  
He had. Ever since they'd made things official, Shane decided that he didn't deserve to live in a pig sty after all. The floor was clear of its usual junk and swept, he had a trash can that he changed every time it got full instead of a giant garbage bag at the foot of his bed... he even did his laundry and sheets like an actual grown adult.  
  
God, what a low fucking bar of standards he held for himself.  
  
"I was just finishing up getting ready," he said, putting on a sock.  
  
"You're wearing _that_?"  
  
Shane shrugged. "You never seem to mind, and I'm not trying to impress anyone else, so I don't see the point."  
  
"Well at least let me fix your hair," she said, looking at him as if he were a lost cause. "Where do you keep your gel?"  
  
"I don't use that stuff." He leaned over to his nightstand and pulled out a pot of styling cream, opening it.  
  
Amber put a small amount of product on her fingers and rubbed it across her hands before working it gently through his hair. God, it felt so good to get fussed over by her. _This_  was what he'd wanted.  
  
"You nervous?" she asked.  
  
"Honestly? Yeah."  
  
"Anything I can do to make it better?"  
  
"Just you being there will help."  
  
His words must have had some effect on her, because Amber suddenly looked enraptured as she applied the finishing touches. She stepped back, nodding as if she were pleased with her work, so Shane stood and walked over to the mirror to examine himself.  
  
He'd been putting in the effort for nearly 5 months now to make his hair look somewhat presentable, but all his all his attempts looked like absolute dog shit compared to what Amber had just done for him. Instead of the semi-formal style he tried to make work, it was now swept up and over off his forehead making him look like someone he'd see on the cover of a men's fashion magazine - aside from his outfit, that is. His eyes, while still dark underneath, were the center of attention, and seemed to brighten up his almost perpetually somber face.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
He turned to Amber who had sidled up beside him. "I think you should have made a living doing hair instead of working on a farm."  
  
"Ah, but then we would have never met," she said, moving behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "And I sort of _really_  like you."  
  
The combination of her words, her breath on his neck, and her arms wrapped around him sent a wave of goosebumps across his body. _God_ , he liked her too. _Really_  liked her. He -  
  
"So I've always wondered, but never asked," Amber said suddenly as she moved away, breaking off his train of thought. "Why do you dye your hair?"  
  
He sighed. "I don't really know. Did it once a long time ago and just sort of kept it up."  
  
"Why purple, though? Especially since you can barely see it through your natural hair anyway."  
  
"It's my favorite color. And back then I had bleached it, so it was a lot more noticeable."  
  
"It's really your favorite color?"  
  
"Guys can like purple, too."  
  
"It's not that, you just seem like a Joja blue kind of guy," she said, picking at the arm of his jacket.  
  
Shane nudged her. "You're funny."  
  
"I know I am. It's why you like me, I'm sure."  
  
"I like you for more reasons than that."  
  
Amber grabbed his hand and brought it up to her mouth, kissing it. "What are the other reasons?"  
  
"Well," Shane said, looking down at their hands as he thought, "You're beautiful,"  
  
"You _shallow_ bastard."  
  
"You're a hard worker. You see the good in me. You're really great with Jas."  
  
Amber remained silent.  
  
He looked up, his green eyes staring into the brown ones he saw nearly every night in his dreams. "And you make me happy." He shook his head. "I haven't felt this happy in... in a while."  
  
"Why?"  
  
He dropped his head, shaking it slightly from side to side.  
  
"Does it have to do with your best friend?"  
  
"Partly."  
  
"You don't have to talk about it," she said softly. "Just... whenever you're ready, I'm here to listen."  
  
"Thanks," he said, looking back up at her.  
  
"I'm serious. You can call me crying in the middle of the night and I'll listen to every single word."  
  
Shane couldn't help but chuckle. "I doubt that'll happen, but alright."  
  
She squeezed his hand, smiling, then turned to his alarm clock. "Well," she said with a sigh, "it's about that time. You ready?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Great. Let's go."  
  
He followed Amber through the door into the kitchen where Jas was sitting, finishing up her homework. The little girl stared up at her, grinning widely.  
  
"Are you guys going on a date?"  
  
"No, sweetie, we're going to hang out with some friends."  
  
Jas tilted her head. "Shane has friends?"  
  
_Ouch, Jas._  
  
"Yep, and we're gonna have lots of fun, isn't that right, Shane?" she asked, looking sideways at him with a raised brow as if answering anything other than yes was not an option.  
  
He took her cue and nodded, then approached Jas and gave her a hug. "Make sure you wash your butt real good tonight," he said, and as she giggled, ruffled her hair. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"  
  
"Okay! Have fun on your date!"  
  
Shane sighed and shook his head. He wasn't going to argue with an 8 year old tonight.

 

* * *

 

  
Right before climbing up the saloon steps, Amber reached down and grabbed Shane's hand, who then immediately pulled out of her grip, horrified.  
  
"What are you _doing_?"  
  
"I'm _trying_  to hold your hand," she said, reaching down again.  
  
"Aren't you afraid of the stares and shit? Don't you remember the last time you were here? You looked like you wanted to fucking _die_."  
  
"Well this time, I smoked a bit before coming here, so the stares aren't even on my mind right now."  
  
And before he could object, Amber pulled him up the stairs and pushed the door open, the tinkling of the bell muffled among the tumultuous sounds within. Despite what she had just said, the stares were the first thing she noticed, along with Emily's bright, manic smile. She was suddenly paranoid, but as she pulled Shane out of sight to the saloon's game room, the paranoia was gone as quickly as it came.  
  
The trio were already there - Sebastian and a blonde man in a distressed denim jacket Amber assumed to be Sam were playing pool while Pierre's daughter, Abigail, was sitting on the couch watching the boys dispassionately.  
  
Sam looked up and walked over to the two, taking them both into a hug. "You guys made it!"  
  
Shane broke free from Sam's grasp, clearly looking uncomfortable at the sudden physical contact. "I'm, uh, gonna go get us a round of drinks," he said before turning on his heel and walking toward the bar.  
  
Amber gave a small wave to Sebastian who nodded in return and began to peel off her jacket.  
  
"Whoa, what happened there?" Sam said, reaching out without warning and grabbing her hand to inspect the scabbing wound on top which puffed up slightly around the stitches. "Hurt yourself while farming?"  
  
"Oh. Uh, yes, actually. Accidentally sliced it when cutting some peppers free."  
  
Abigail jumped up off the couch and rushed over, joining Sam in closely examining the injury. "That's gonna make a kick-ass scar," she said, her face expressing thinly veiled envy.  
  
"I'm surprised I don't have more, to be honest."  
  
Abigail's eyes flickered up toward Amber's necklace. Since the night she got it, Amber had worn the thing constantly, removing it only to shower. "That's pretty. Where'd you get it?"  
  
Amber raised her other hand to touch the pendant. "From Shane. He gave it to me for my birthday."  
  
"Really?" Abigail nodded, seemingly impressed. "Well he's got pretty good taste in chicken-themed jewelry."  
  
As soon as she finished her statement, Shane came back with Emily behind him, carrying a tray of glasses and a tall pitcher of beer.  
  
"Here you guys go!" Emily set the tray down on a nearby table and smiled. "If you need anything else, just let me know!" She sauntered away to her place at the bar, her shocking blue hair bouncing with each step.  
  
Sam directed his attention toward Shane who had started to pour himself a glass. "Amber here was just telling us about the birthday gift you got for her."  
  
Shane paused his pouring and shot a quick glance at the group before turning back around. "Huh."  
  
"He sure doesn't say much, does he?" Sam murmured to Amber.  
  
"Oh, uh - "  
  
"Come on, Sam, let's finish this game," Sebastian said, saving Amber from having to reply and held a pool cue out which Sam stomped over tiredly to retrieve.  
  
Amber approached Shane and grabbed the glass he'd poured for her and sat down on the couch beside Abigail.  
  
"So how long have you known those two?" she asked after taking a drink.  
  
"Pretty much forever. Grew up around them."  
  
"That sounds amazing."  
  
_God, this small-talk shit is going to kill me._  
  
Amber continued. "And you're in a band with them too, you all must be so close."  
  
"If by close you mean I wanna wring their necks just about every day, then yeah, I'd say we're close."  
  
Sam groaned loudly, and the three looked up at him.  
  
"You should just give up, Sam!" Abigail called.  
  
"Does he lose often?"  
  
"Every single time. I don't know why he still tries."  
  
"Huh." Amber deliberated a bit before speaking up. "Hey, Sebastian! I've got next game."  
  
Sebastian leaned up, smirking, and suddenly she felt as if she shouldn't have volunteered. "You sure?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Abigail looked at Amber curiously. "You play pool?"  
  
"Not really, but you never know. Beginner's luck and all that."  
  
Abigail snorted as she got up to walk over to the drink table.  
  
_Yep. Definitely shouldn't have volunteered._  
  
She glanced at Shane who seemed to be finishing his second glass of beer while she herself was only halfway through her first. "You going to cheer me on?" she asked, nudging him a little.  
  
He raised his brows. "Wait, you were serious?"  
  
Along with the beer, Amber detected the scent of liquor on his breath, and she suddenly felt guilty for dragging him there.  
  
"Hey, are you okay?"  
  
He looked taken aback by her sudden change in subject. "I'm fine. Why?"  
  
"We don't have to stay here if you don't want to."  
  
\-- "Amber, your turn," Sebastian said as Sam walked away from the pool table, head down, and handed the cue over to her.  
  
She looked at Shane who just smiled slightly. "Go. I'll cheer you on."  
  
So she got up and moved to the center of the room, her heart pounding anxiously.  
  
"You ready?" Sebastian asked, chalking his cue.  
  
"I guess so."  
  
He smirked again. "I'm not gonna go easy on you."  
  
"I don't expect you to."  
  
Sebastian handed the chalk to Amber who then rubbed it on the end of her cue as he racked the balls.  
  
"You want to break?"  
  
"No, you can go ahead."  
  
Sebastian leaned over the table and lined up his shot. The balls scattered across the table, and at once, he sunk a solid.  
  
"You're stripes," he said, shooting again, but this time missing.  
  
Amber stepped up and aimed at the cue ball, intending on pocketing the striped number 14 ball. She shot, and the white ball rocketed off, missing her target and instead ultimately knocking the 8 ball into a side pocket.  
  
The room was silent for a long moment.  
  
"Fuck," Sebastian said, incredulous. "I didn't think that anyone could be worse than Sam."  
  
Amber flushed, setting the cue on the edge of the table. "Hey, I never said I was good." She sat back down next to Shane, who once again held a hand over his mouth to hide his laughter.  
  
"You are _really_  bad at games."  
  
"If you think you're so good, then why don't you go up there and play?"  
  
Shane downed the rest of his glass and shrugged. "Alright." He stood and set his glass down, then walked to the pool table and picked up Amber's cue, chalking it.  
  
"You're gonna play?" Sebastian asked, raising a pierced black brow.  
  
"You rack, I'll break."  
  
Once Sebastian had it set up, Shane leaned over the table to line up his shot, and the second he did so, it was like something changed within him. His eyes became sharp and focused, his body loosening. Like a strike of lightning, he knocked the cue ball into the others and sent them rolling, sinking two - both solids.  
  
_"Holy shit,"_ Abigail gasped.  
  
Shane walked around the table several times, examining the balls' positions while rubbing the chalk on the cue's tip before aiming and hitting yet another ball into a pocket. His next turn, though, wasn't so lucky.  
  
Wordlessly, Sebastian aimed and knocked a striped one into a side pocket.  
  
The two men took their turns until all that was left was the 8 ball for Shane. He breathed shallowly as he looked down the cue, and shot the stick forward, knocking the ball into a pocket.  
  
Sebastian nodded while the three sitting on the couch erupted into a profanity-filled cheer. "Okay. Best 2 out of 3."  
  
They played again. This time, Sebastian won, but just barely.  
  
"Next game determines the winner!" Sam called out. He, Amber, and Abigail were now close to the table, fully enthralled. Even Emily was standing in the doorway watching excitedly.  
  
Amber stepped up beside Shane and whispered in his ear. "If you win, I'll give you something special." She kissed his jaw lightly before backing off, causing him to do a double take at her.  
  
It was Shane's turn again to break - but when he did, he didn't manage to land a single ball which caused Amber to wonder, worried, if she had accidentally gotten him out of his groove.  
  
Sebastian took his turn, aiming for a striped ball sitting right by a pocket and sunk it.  
  
Shane seemed to have quickly regained his composure, for when he shot again, he sunk a solid and managed to move another right in front of a pocket and got that one too.  
  
The game was a close one, and by the end, only the 8 ball remained. Sebastian aimed and shot it against the side rail, clearly intending for it to ricochet off and roll into a corner pocket. He hadn't applied enough power, however, as it rolled to a stop right before the hole. He groaned as Shane shot and sunk it right away.

Sebastian shook his hand, acknowledging him as the winner, and the girls whooped loudly as Sam stepped up to Shane, lifting the other into the air. "The new champion!"  
  
Sebastian cracked a smile, and even Shane grinned a little.  
  
Amber liked to see him like this - relaxed, and in a positive setting among others instead of sitting alone and being moody. She was glad they decided to show up.  
  
"You're going to have to come here and put Seb in his place more often," Abigail said.  
  
Sam laughed. "Yeah, it's nice to see him lose for once!"  
  
Shane sat back down with Amber who grabbed his hand, and this time, he immediately laced his fingers with hers. "I had no idea you were so good at pool," she said, amazed.  
  
"I used to play a lot when I lived in Zuzu City. I'd go out to bars and pool halls with Eric and Rachel... Jas's parents. Rachel was way better than me, so she taught me what she knew."  
  
Amber was surprised to hear him talk about Jas's parents so openly after their discussion earlier, but figured it was all due to the combination of the alcohol and adrenaline from the game.  
  
"Did you go out with them a lot?"  
  
Shane laughed. " _All_  the fucking time. Until Jas was born, then it pretty much stopped. So after that, it was just me except for some nights when they got a sitter."  
  
Amber smiled and squeezed his hand, about to ask another question when Sebastian approached and looked down at Shane.  
  
"Hey, man, I'm gonna head outside for a bit. You wanna join me?"  
  
Shane looked at Amber, who nodded. "Go ahead," she said, taking back her hand. "I think I'm gonna go try my hand at that arcade game over there."  
  
"Alright," he said, and stood, leaving Amber behind to watch him go.

 

* * *

 

  
Shane followed Sebastian to the back of the saloon where he pulled out a pack of cigarettes.  
  
"You want a smoke?"  
  
Shane shook his head. "I quit a long time ago."  
  
"I've been meaning to quit," Sebastian said, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. "But my job gets on my nerves so much sometimes that I just can't."  
  
Shane nodded. "I know the feeling." He just chased that feeling away with beer rather than tobacco.  
  
Sebastian took another drag and exhaled, the smoke drifting like a fog toward Shane's face.  
  
"You know, I think I might actually take one."  
  
Sebastian handed over a cigarette and a lighter. Shane lit it, and after putting between his lips and inhaling, he remembered right away why he stopped, but continued to smoke regardless.  
  
"You were pretty good in there," Sebastian said.  
  
"So were you."  
  
Sebastian shrugged. "My dad taught me."  
  
His dad? Shane didn't consider himself to be very smart, but he was sure he understood simple genetics, and a white, red haired mother + a black father didn't really equal ghostly pale emo kid, especially when he had that nerdy girl Maru to compare him to.  
  
"I thought that was your step dad or some shit."  
  
"No, I mean my actual dad. Lives in Zuzu City. Parents split up when I was little, so I used to visit him every summer. He had a bar in his basement with a pool table and he let me play with him and his buddies."  
  
"You ever go to Bar None?" Shane asked.  
  
"Few times."  
  
"I used to play there all the time."  
  
"No shit?"  
  
"Never got close to beating any of the regulars, though."  
  
"Those fucking people no-life that shit, I swear."  
  
The two men chuckled and smoked quietly for another minute or so.  
  
"You said you 'used to' visit your dad. What happened?"  
  
"Eh, couple years back he got married to a woman that didn't really like that he had an adult kid from a previous relationship. She must have talked him into cutting contact with me, because I stopped hearing from him shortly after the wedding."  
  
"What a bitch," Shane said, then snapped his head toward Sebastian. "Sorry."  
  
"No, you're right. She's a fucking bitch."  
  
Sebastian dropped his cigarette on the ground and snuffed it out with his boot. "You know, Amber was right about you."  
  
Shane shot Sebastian a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You're not so bad once we get to know you."

 

* * *

 

  
When Shane stumbled in the door at the end of the night, he came across Marnie who seemed to have just come from the bathroom.  
  
"Have a good time?" she asked, unamused.  
  
"Actually," he pondered, "kind of." When he looked at her face, he suddenly remembered the way he left things with her. "Hey, I'm sorry for being a dick before I left. You didn't deserve that. _Don't_  deserve that."  
  
She smiled and stepped forward, bringing him into a tight hug before releasing him and placing her hands on his shoulders. "It's okay."  
  
"It's not."  
  
"It is. And I had no right to poke fun at you about _your_  relationship."  
  
"That's your job, though."  
  
Marnie chuckled and gave him a pat. "I'm glad you had a good time tonight. You need this, Shane. You do." With that, she turned and went to her room, closing the door softly.  
  
After taking a piss, Shane staggered into his room and peeled off his clothes, falling into bed. He'd just been plugging up his phone to charge when he felt it vibrate in his hand and saw a message flash across the screen from Amber.

 

**I'm glad you came (no pun intended).**

  
Then a second later,

  
**Okay, maybe pun intended.**

  
Shane chuckled as he responded.

  
**Me too.**

  
He held the phone in his hand, and when it buzzed again, swiped it open.

  
**I'm exhausted, so I'm going to sleep now. Good night. 😘**

  
**Good night.**

  
**Aww, no emoji for me?**

  
🍆

  
**Oh ha, ha. Night, you turd.**

  
Shane's heart pounded as he slowly typed in his next message.

  
**Good night. 💗**

  
He lay in bed, head swimming. Why was he getting so nervous over some stupid emojis?

  
_I feel like a teenager. She makes me feel like a fucking teenager._

  
A few minutes later, Amber replied.

  
💖💖💖

  
A smile broke over his face, and when he fell asleep, he did so with the image of those 3 sparkly hearts burned into his brain.


	15. Origins

When Amber's alarm woke her at 7:30 the following morning, she nearly grabbed the thing and threw it against the wall. Instead, after a moment where she took several long, deep breaths, she reached over and pressed the snooze button calmly before rolling onto her back and allowing herself to pout, eyes closed.  
  
_Why the fuck did I decide to move here again?_  
  
She had almost fallen asleep when the alarm blared a second time, so she rolled over once more and flicked the switch to turn it off, then slid grudgingly out of bed onto the cool, wooden floor. Today was going to be one of _those_  days, she knew it - and wished she _had_  decided to take Marnie up on her offer of hiring help. There was hardly any work to be done, but today she just didn't want to do it. Or anything, really.  
  
After using the bathroom, Amber threw her hair up in a ponytail and brushed her teeth, then re-entered her bedroom and pulled on her work clothes - an old pair of jeans, a ratty grey t-shirt, and a black windbreaker. She checked her phone for notifications and sent a quick good morning text to Shane before going into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and eat a breakfast of scrambled eggs - courtesy of Pip and Squeak - drenched in hot sauce, and a slice of buttered toast. Once she was done, she dropped her plate in the sink, poured the entire pot of coffee into the largest thermos she had, put on her boots, and went outside to start the day.  
  
Amber had been sitting on the top step of her porch for a good half hour sipping coffee when she noticed, off in the distance, a cloud of dust from a truck coming down the dirt road toward her house. As it got closer, she saw it was Shane sitting in the driver's seat and setting her thermos aside, stood - waiting with a smile as he drove up to the house. She watched him step out of the truck and pull the seat forward, letting Jas out, and then the two approached Amber who was surprised yet pleased at their presence.  
  
Shane ran his fingers through his hair, looking nervous. "I hope it's okay we just showed up. Jas said she really wanted to see you, and I know you said you didn't have a lot to do today..."  
  
Amber's soft smile widened into a bright one.  
  
"You've literally improved my day."  
  
His brow furrowed, suddenly concerned. "It just started."  
  
"Just one of those days," she said, shrugging.  
  
Jas clasped her hands together and gazed up at Amber with pleading eyes. "Can I see your chickens? Pleeeeeaaaase?"  
  
"Sure thing! You and Shane can go keep them company while I check on my crops, if that's okay with him."  
  
The two girls looked at Shane who nodded. "Come on, let's go!" Jas demanded, tugging her godfather toward the coop. With a wave, Amber made her way down the stairs, grabbed her gloves and bucket from the shed, and headed out to the field. Over the summer, she had expanded it but hadn't yet set up a sprinkler system for the addition - so after checking the field for weeds and turning the sprinklers she _did_  have on, she grabbed a hose and began to water the remaining crops, thinking back to when she'd first started farming.  
  
At first, she attempted only to grow rows upon rows of turnips as she felt overwhelmed and too intimidated by everything else - but with practice and a _ton_  of reading at the library, by summer she felt confident enough to buy every seed Pierre had to offer at his store. It was rough, getting everything going. Her body ached miserably by the end of the day every day for _months_ , and she often regretted quitting her stable job with a good pay check and health benefits, however shitty, in order to work herself ragged - hoping that she would grow enough fruits and vegetables to make a living. She had even almost packed up her stuff a half dozen times. But now, as she looked out at the large field before her, she was glad to have been given this opportunity for a new life, and wished so badly that she could thank her grandfather for giving such a great gift to her even though she never really got to know him.  
  
Amber's dad, who was the son of old Michael Harris, received very little when his father died. A laughable amount, actually. She remembered how livid her father was when he opened the small envelope filled with just enough money to buy _"A goddamned stick of gum."_ Amber knew her parents didn't really get along with her grandfather, but she never knew why - never would, either. By the time she was of age and got _her_  portion of the will, her relationship with her parents had been destroyed beyond repair, and after refusing their attempts at playing nice in order to find out what he had given her, she left.  
  
She wondered if they would be proud to see what she had accomplished here.  
  
No. Probably not. No matter _what_  she did, or how well she did, they were never really proud.  
  
After shutting the water off, Amber rolled the length of hose up in her hands and hung it on the metal hook that was standing near the pump her sprinkler system was connected to. On her way back to the porch, she saw Shane and Jas sitting patiently, waiting for her. Although she _was_  pleased by their surprise visit, she felt absolutely terrible that she had nothing really to entertain an 8 year old with, so right before making it to them, she came up with an idea.  
  
"How would you guys feel about taking a trip to Zuzu City today? We could do a little shopping, have lunch... maybe see a movie?"  
  
"Yes, yes, yes!" Jas squealed, jumping excitedly while Shane looked taken aback.  
  
"Whoa, are you sure?" he asked uncertainly.  
  
"I don't know if you've noticed, Shane, but I own my own farm." She gestured out to the field and coop behind her, smiling haughtily. "I can afford to treat you guys to one little day in the city. Besides, there isn't really anything to do _here_ , so why not?"  
  
Shane seemed to think about it for a moment, and then sighed. "Well at least let me drive us there instead of taking the friggin' bus. _And_  let me worry about gas," he added on quickly.  
  
"Marnie okay with you taking her truck there today?"  
  
"Trust me, she will be. I'll call and let her know."  
  
"Alright, well... come in while I get ready."  
  
As soon as they stepped foot inside, Jas ran straight to the television. "Your TV is _huge_!" she shouted, amazed. Having seen the small, blocky TV at the ranch, Amber wasn't really surprised that Jas thought her moderately sized set was big, but still felt a little embarrassed at the mention of it.  
  
Kicking off her boots, she strode over to the coffee table and tossed the remote at Shane before taking off her jacket and laying it on the armchair.  
  
"That shirt looks rough," he said, eyeing her with a smirk.  
  
Amber raised her brows. "Don't give me that, Mr. Joja Jacket," she shot back playfully as she walked through and gathered up her clothes for the day, taking them with her to the bathroom. After a quick shower, she made herself up and re-entered the living room, drawing the eyes of both Shane and Jas.  
  
"You look _really_  pretty!" Jas said admiringly. "Can I have some makeup too?"  
  
"That's up to Shane."  
  
Jas looked at him.  
  
"If Amber says it's okay with her, then it's okay with me."  
  
With a cheer, Jas rushed off to the bathroom, leaving Amber behind with Shane.  
  
"Anything you don't want me to do?" she asked, and he chuckled.  
  
"I don't know _anything_  about that stuff. That's all you."

With that, and an impatient call from Jas, Amber joined her in the bathroom and lifted her up on the counter.  
  
"What do you want done?"  
  
"Um," Jas said, thinking, "I want eye shadow and lipstick."  
  
"Lipstick might be a little too much for you, is just eye shadow okay?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
Amber dug through her makeup drawer, producing a palette she hardly ever used - one with the brightest colors she had. "Pick."  
  
Immediately, Jas's finger flew and pointed to Bubblegum Pink, so Amber lifted the lid, grabbed a brush, and after instructing Jas to close her eyes, began to apply the eye shadow. She glanced sideways to see Shane looking at them, a funny little smile on his face.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, just watching."  
  
After she was done, Amber told Jas to turn around and take a look.  
  
"I love it!"  
  
"Make sure to say 'thank you'," Shane reminded her gently.  
  
"Thank you!" Jas threw out her arms and squeezed Amber with a surprising amount of strength.  
  
"You're very welcome," she grunted, helping the girl down off the counter. Since everyone was ready to go, Amber grabbed her purse and followed the others out to the truck. Shane started it but didn't move, and after a minute, Amber turned to see him staring at her.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"Buckle up, please."  
  
"Yeah!" Jas piped up from the back. "We don't go _anywhere_  unless everyone is buckled up!"  
  
"Oh." Amber reached behind her and pulled the belt down and across her body, securing it with a click. That seemed to satisfy Shane, since he immediately put the truck into drive and began down the road, off her farm, and out of town. When they finally made it onto the highway, Amber set her hand out flat on the center console, waiting for Shane to hold it. He hesitated - looking first at her hand, then at Jas in the rear-view mirror before letting go of the steering wheel and placing his hand in hers.  
  
Amber liked the way he looked, sitting casually in his seat with one hand on the wheel as he drove. He was focused - his mouth set in a straight line and eyes glued to the road ahead, but occasionally he would glance at her, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly before refocusing.  
  
They had only been on the road for about 20 minutes when Jas groaned impatiently from the back. "Are we there yet?"  
  
"We aren't going to be there for a while, kiddo." Shane said.  
  
A minute later, Jas spoke up again. "I have to pee."  
  
"You're gonna have to hold it until we can find a gas station."  
  
"But I _can't_ , I have to go _now_!"  
  
"Damn it," Shane mouthed as he pulled over to the side of the road. He put the truck in park and unbuckled, grabbing a few tissues from the center console, then slid the seat forward. "Alright, come on. Get out."  
  
Amber fiddled with her necklace as she watched the two go to the edge of the woods - Shane standing guard while Jas tucked behind a tree. When he took his place, Shane looked up at Amber. "The life of a parent!" he called out with a shrug.  
  
And a damn good parent he made. Amber remembered moments like this as a child. Instead of stopping, her parents would force her to wait until they reached their destination, even if it was a good while away. _"If you piss yourself, I'll bust your ass,"_ her dad would say... and he always followed through on his promises.  
  
After Jas was finished, she ran up to Shane who helped her adjust her dress which she had somehow managed to get stuck in her underwear, then with a pat to the butt, was sent running back to the truck holding the used tissues which were then deposited in a plastic grocery bag in the back seat. When Shane resumed driving, Amber turned around to face Jas.  
  
"So, Jas, when do you go back to school?"  
  
"This Monday, actually," Shane answered, and Jas nodded.  
  
"You excited?"  
  
"A little. I miss Miss Penny."  
  
Shane chuckled. "You see her around town all the time, you goof."  
  
"I know, but I like it when she takes me and Vince to the playground."  
  
"So you just miss going to the playground, then."  
  
"No!" Jas protested. "I miss Miss Penny!"  
  
"Hey," Amber said. "How about when we go shopping, we look for a gift that you can give her on your first day back?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"What do you think she'd want?"  
  
"She loves diamonds."  
  
Amber snorted. "I think that's a little bit too much for a back-to-school gift, Jas, but it's a good start. Do you have any other ideas?"  
  
"She really likes melons!"  
  
This, Amber knew. She followed up on the promise that she made at Jas's birthday party and showed up one afternoon to the trailer and gave her a couple of the largest melons she could find in her field - it almost brought that poor, sweet woman to tears.  
  
"Hmm... Maybe instead of a melon, we find her something that's decorated _with_  melons. Does that sound okay?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
The two girls continued to chat all the way to the outskirts of Zuzu City where Shane interrupted Jas's story about how Vincent once saw Sam help Penny into a tree.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
Amber looked at the clock. "It's a bit too early for lunch still, so maybe we should go shopping first. You know where Culver Square is?"  
  
"North side?"  
  
"You got it."  
  
After a good while, they finally made it to their destination, but it being a weekend, and Culver Square being a particularly popular place to shop, Shane struggled to find a parking spot.  
  
"I hate the city," he grumbled. "Do _not_  miss it at all."  
  
"Why's this? Find something you like in the valley better?" Amber responded, obviously fishing for a compliment.  
  
"Yeah." Shane said. "Charlie."  
  
Amber was confused. "Who is _Charlie_?"  
  
"Charlie is Shane's favorite chicken! He sits with her _all_  the time at home in the coop."  
  
The thought of Shane being buddy-buddy with a chicken wasn't surprising, but it still sent her into a small fit of laughter. "Oh, is that so?" Amber said between giggles. "Pip will be _devastated_  when she finds out."  
  
Shane looked at her, mock horror on his face. "Oh no, _please_  don't tell her!"  
  
"What will you give me if I don't?"  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Amber thought for a minute, her eyes darting around the cab of the truck as she pondered before landing back on him. "I want to get you some new clothes. _Including_  a jacket."  
  
Shane shifted uncomfortably. "I told you I need it for work."  
  
"And you can keep it for work, but you wear that stupid thing all the time."  
  
Jas gasped. "Stupid's not a nice word!"  
  
"Sorry, Jas." Amber said, then looked intently at Shane.  
  
Finally, after a long moment, he sighed. "Alright."

 

* * *

 

  
After finding a spot, the three went inside and got a new dress for Jas and a melon-themed day planner for Penny. Shane had a hard time agreeing with Amber on what to get for _him_ , so they decided to take a break for lunch and were on their way to the truck when they passed by a quaint little book store.  
  
Amber stopped, jutting a thumb at it. "Mind if I stop in here real quick? Robin's making me a bookshelf for my kitchen, and I'd like to get a few new cookbooks for it. I can meet you at the truck, I shouldn't be long."  
"We'll go in with you," Shane said, pushing the door open.  
  
"If you find something you want, just come find me and I'll get it." Amber walked past him and headed straight toward the cookbook section while Shane followed Jas to the children's books, and after perusing the shelves for a while, Jas found one she wanted. Since it was cheap, he decided to go ahead and buy it as he didn't really feel completely comfortable with Amber spending all that money on them to begin with. Bag in hand, he and Jas made their way to where they'd last seen Amber, and saw her face-to-face with an attractive, middle-aged woman dressed in a grey pantsuit, brown hair up in a tight bun. Next to the woman was a man in a matching grey suit of his own - his face clean-shaven, and the hair on top of his head salt and pepper and combed back neatly, not a single strand out of place. The woman glared daggers at Amber while the man stared off to the side, clearly irritated.  
  
Amber, on the other hand, looked much like a kicked puppy. _What the hell is going on_ , he wondered worriedly. Maybe she'd accidentally bumped into one of them and they were in the midst of playing the whole thing up. They sure _looked_  like the type of people to do that.  
  
"Amber...?" Shane said her name questioningly as he approached her. Both the man and the woman turned their attention to him, an odd expression coming over their faces that seemed a lot like disdain as they looked at him first, then at Jas.  
  
"Who are... _these_  people?" the woman asked.  
  
Amber's mouth opened and closed repeatedly like a goldfish before she was able to croak out an answer. "Uh, th-this is my boyfriend, Shane... and his goddaughter... Jas..."  
  
"So the child's not yours?"  
  
"N-no."  
  
"Well _that's_  a relief." The woman looked Jas over one last time with a sneer, and Shane, noticing the expression, pulled her close. "You never answered my question," she said, her attention back on Amber.  
  
"What question?"  
  
The woman's eyes fluttered shut briefly in annoyance. "What. Are. You. _Doing_. For. A. Living?" she enunciated clearly. "Kenneth told us you quit your job without any notice, what was it dear," she said, turning to the man, "a year and a half ago? Sounds like something you'd do. You were always so thoughtless and frivolous. We thought that once you'd gotten all of that out of your system, you'd use the opportunities you were given to _make_  something of yourself, but if _this_  is the company you keep, then clearly you haven't."  
  
Amber glanced at Shane, then back at the woman. "Please keep them out of this."  
  
"Do _not_  talk back to your mother," the man snapped.  
  
Her _mother_?  
  
"I wasn't talking back, I was just -"  
  
"You have not changed a bit," the man said. "Always so disrespectful."  
  
Amber turned around and slammed the book she had in her hand back on the shelf. "Let's go," she said to Shane, and began to walk away. He and Jas followed her out the door and all the way to the truck where she got inside, buckled herself in, and sat, staring forward.  
  
"Is Amber okay?" Jas asked.  
  
Shane looked at Amber for a moment before kneeling down. "I'm going to give you my phone," he said. "You can play games while I talk to Amber, but you have to leave us alone, alright?"  
  
"Okay," she agreed.  
  
After putting Jas and her new book in the truck, Shane walked over to the passenger side and opened the door. "Let's talk."  
  
"Can't we just go to lunch?"  
  
"We could, but I'd rather talk to you about whatever it was that just happened in there."  
  
Amber sat a while, and Shane almost asked again when she unbuckled herself and slid out of the seat, closing the door behind her. She stood staring at the ground.  
  
"Who were those people?" he asked.  
  
No answer.  
  
"Were they... your parents?"  
  
"...Yes."  
  
"Jesus Christ, Amber," he whispered. If he hadn't heard that man say the words "your mother", he would have never guessed. Those people were so... straight, so no-nonsense, not at all like Amber, or at least the Amber he knew. To him, she was still that flower among weeds - her parents more like thorns. No way she came from them. No way. "You're kidding, right?"  
  
"Unfortunately not."  
  
"Real friendly folk," he murmured.  
  
Amber scoffed and shook her head. "I don't get it. This is the first time since moving out of the house that I've seen them. In the _years_  I lived in the city, I didn't see them once, not _once_... but somehow I run into them _today_?"  
  
Shane recalled the look her mother gave him and Jas, and wondered if Amber were ashamed to have been seen with them.  
  
"I would have been fine going my whole life without ever having anything to do with them again. Even if I were to get married and have kids, I never wanted them to know."  
  
"Was it bad? Growing up with them?"  
  
For some reason, he expected her to clam up like he had the tendency of doing, but instead, she just shook her head again and began to speak heatedly. "All my life, I was made to live up to their expectations. They had my _whole_  future mapped out for me, and I wasn't allowed to stray from their path. Have the friends they wanted me to have, take the classes they wanted me to take, play the sports they wanted me to play... They never praised me or did anything with me either - just criticized me when I didn't meet their standards. They put on a front in public, made us look like a happy family, but really I was nothing but a fucking trophy child - an extension of themselves, and I _had_  to be perfect."  
  
Amber paused, and just as Shane started to think she was done talking, she spoke again.  
  
"One day I snapped. Started staying out late, sometimes overnight. Went out with boys they didn't approve of. Stopped studying so much - not enough that my grades really suffered, but enough that I didn't feel so goddamned high-strung all the time."  
  
"How'd they react?"  
  
"Screamed, threatened, took my shit away. When nothing changed, they just completely gave up on me, thank god. Once I graduated and got my stuff from Grandpa Harris, I moved out into some shitty apartment with a girl that always stole my lunches, signed up for college, started at JojaMart, and never looked back."  
  
"Wow," he said. "That's... that's rough."  
  
Amber shrugged. "It's whatever." She leaned against the truck with her arms crossed and looked out for a while. "Remember when you said you thought you were screwing Jas up?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"When I look back at how _my_  dad treated me - no fun at all, ruling with an iron fist, blowing up over every little thing - and I look at how you treat Jas, I just wanna fucking... smack some sense into you. I think you're great."  
  
"Just because I don't act like _that_  doesn't mean I'm great."  
  
"No, it doesn't, but I still think you are," she said, tears welling up in her eyes which she quickly swiped away.  
  
Shane moved next to her and slid an arm around her waist.  
  
"So," she said after a quick sniffle. "What about _your_  parents? They suck too?"  
  
Shane raised his other hand to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. "I don't really... _have_  parents... anymore."  
  
"Oh." She gave him a quick glance and dropped her head, long hair hiding her reddening face. "What... what happened?"  
  
"Well, uh... my dad died when I was... I don't know, three or something. An accident at the factory he worked at, so my mom ended up raising me by herself. A year or so after I graduated, she got real sick, and even though I was working, she still couldn't pay for the treatment, so..."  
  
Amber's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my god. Shane, I'm so sorry..."  
  
"It's fine, really."  
  
"Are you kidding me?" She stepped away from the truck and faced him. "No, it's _not_  fine. Here I am whining because my parents were strict and took my fucking car away because I acted up when you had _real_  problems."  
  
"Just because I have dead parents doesn't mean my childhood was any worse than yours."  
  
When Amber raised a brow, Shane continued. "I mean, yeah, it's not great. Things were tough for me growing up, and my mom wasn't perfect, but I think she tried her best."  
  
"Still."  
  
"Still," he said, stepping forward and pulling her close. The truck's horn honked suddenly, and the two jolted. Shane whipped around to see Jas in the front seat.  
  
"I'm hungry!" she said urgently, her voice muffled through the glass. "And I gotta go pee!"  
  
"Alright, alright!" He turned back to Amber. "Really. Don't worry about it," he said, then sighed. "Let's get this kid to a bathroom."

 

* * *

 

  
Even though their day had somewhat of a small setback, it went on well enough. First, they went to Shane's favorite pizza joint and split the best pie he'd had in years - barring Gus's of course. Next, they continued their shopping at a different center and got Jas shoes to go with her dress, and after giving a last-ditch attempt to talk Amber out of spending any more money on him, Shane finally followed through on his promise and allowed her to treat him like one of Jas's dolls, dressing him up in all manner of attire, including things he'd never even be caught dead in publicly. If the whole thing didn't seem to make her so damn happy, he would have tried harder to refuse, but the smiles and joyous laughter from Amber and Jas were every bit worth putting on a goddamned silver sequin cocktail dress. He _did_  put his foot down on the matching heels, though.  
  
Shane wore his new hooded canvas jacket out of the store and to the movies, and he had to admit - it was a lot nicer than the piece of shit he'd been wearing for the past five years. He wasn't too happy about the price tag, but again, that was overrun by Amber's smile. By the time they were on their way home, it was starting to get dark, and Jas fell asleep almost immediately.  
  
"I had a good time today... all things considered," Amber said.  
  
"Me too. I think Jas did as well, she's passed out back there."  
  
"I really like Jas." Amber's voice came out soft beside him. "A lot. She's such a sweet girl. I mean it, Shane, you've done a great job with her."  
  
She placed her hand in the center and he took it, giving it a squeeze. It felt nice to be holding his _girlfriend's_  hand, his goddaughter fast asleep in the back seat. He never expected when he met Amber that they'd be this way, but now that it was happening, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Almost like a family. An odd, non-traditional family, but a family nonetheless. He wondered if Amber felt the same.  
  
"Jas likes you too," he said after a long silence.  
  
"Well, hopefully her dad likes me more."  
  
He froze, completely stunned by the casual use of the word "dad", which always immediately made him think of Eric. Shane was used to being called Jas's guardian or godfather, never really her _dad_. But he'd take it. "Her dad _really_  likes you."  
  
"I _really_  like her dad." She let go of his hand and reached over to grab his thigh. "I think I wanna stay with him tonight."  
  
"I think that can be arranged."  
  
After making it back to the ranch and laying Jas in bed, Shane and Amber got themselves ready for bed as well, wearing whatever spare clothes he had in his drawers, and after taking turns in the bathroom, Shane entered his room. Moving automatically, he dragged an unopened carton of sparkling water out from under his bed and broke the cardboard, then popped open a can and started to drink.  
  
"Thirsty?" Amber asked from the bed, her voice pulling him from his thoughts. He realized what he had been doing.  
  
"Sorry," he said, flustered. "Habit."  
  
"No need to be sorry."  
  
On a normal night, he would drink several more cans, but the desire to join Amber in bed mixed with the embarrassment of performing his nightly ritual in front of her caused him to leave the nearly full can on his nightstand and shyly slide under the sheets with her.  
  
It would be their first night together, not just as a couple, but _period_ , and for some reason, Shane felt extraordinarily nervous. He knew logically there was no reason to be - they'd seen each other naked more times than he could count at that point, but now it felt different - more intimate. She scooted close to him, pushing a leg between his while wrapping an arm around his body.  
  
"This feel okay?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," he said, breathing shallowly, praying she didn't notice how hard his heart was beating at that moment.  
  
Amber lifted her head to kiss him gently on the lips. "I really _did_  have a good time today."  
  
"Me too."  
  
She kissed him again, but this time, he lifted a hand to hold the back of her head. That one kiss led to another, then another, and another, and before long, he found himself sliding his hand up under her - _his_  - shirt and up her back. Tenderly they kissed, tenderly they touched, and when he finally pushed himself inside her, he did so slowly, looking into her eyes.  
  
Midway through their lovemaking, Amber raised a hand to cradle his face, gazing at him affectionately as he thrusted.  
  
"I love this," she said, her voice quiet and jagged. "Feeling close to you this way."  
  
Shane stopped, smiling crookedly. It was sweet, in an odd sort of way, having a moment like that while he was balls deep inside her.  
  
"I love it too."  
  
When they were finished, Amber fell asleep first. Shane held her close, her head buried in his bare chest, arms wrapped lazily around his body. He kissed the top of her head, startling her awake.  
  
Amber smiled sleepily. "You're my favorite," she said, falling back asleep. Shane could do nothing but stare at her, taking in the feeling of her slow and steady breath on his skin, the softness of her body under his fingers, the peacefulness of her face as she lay sleeping against him. She was beautiful, she was wonderful, he _never_  wanted that night to end, and he was in love with her. It was too soon, he _knew_  it was too soon, but _oh god_ , he was truly in love with her.  
  
And it fucking terrified him.


	16. Secrets

About a month and a half passed since their impromptu trip to Zuzu City, and Amber was growing slightly concerned. While Shane seemed to be perfectly fine the night they came back, the next day his attitude toward her had shifted - reminding her somewhat of the old barn owl that liked to perch itself in the tree closest to her front porch - silent and watchful. She wondered if he was put off by her parents' "warm" reception toward him, or if she had said or done something embarrassing in her sleep and he was afraid to bring it up, but no matter how many times - or how many different ways - she asked, he always insisted that everything was alright.  
  
Although not totally convinced, she tried to drop the matter and asked him - rather shyly - to start staying over on the weekends. They talked every night and occasionally visited each other for dinner, but the amount of time spent together wasn't enough for her, so she was pleased when Shane agreed without any hesitation. After a couple of weeks, Jas started to stay over as well. Having been concerned about the lack of child-friendly stuff in her house the day of the surprise visit, Amber made sure from then on to keep her kitchen stocked with sugary snacks and drinks, and her living room prepared with toys, board games, books - even setting up a profile on JojaFlix for Jas's personal use - the existence of which blew the little girl's mind. According to Shane, she was used to discs and cable, not having pretty much every movie or show she could think of at the press of a button.  
  
One Saturday in particular, Amber, Shane, and Jas left the farm shortly before noon and headed to Cindersap Forest, each with an empty wicker basket as they followed the path in search of blackberry bushes. Foraging season was in full swing, and since she decided she was going to enter into the Stardew Valley Fair's grange display competition, Amber wanted to try her hand at a blackberry jelly recipe she'd found in one of her cookbooks - and needed a ton of blackberries to practice.  
  
"Look!" Jas shouted, running up to a bush and pointing a small finger at it. "There's a _bunch_  here!" She excitedly began to pick the berries and toss them in her basket while Amber made her way over to inspect her finding. Jas was right - the bush was practically dripping in berries.  
  
"Good find!" Amber said, and began to pick the berries as well, looking sideways at Jas to see her dropping in firm, light purple berries along with the thick, dark, juicy ones. "Oh, not those, Jas," she said, pulling one out to show her. "These aren't ready yet."  
  
"Oh. Okay." Jas continued to pick, leaving the unripe berries in her basket.  
  
_I'll just sort them out later_ , Amber thought as she plucked a rather fat berry off the bush, popped it in her mouth and chewed, the sweetness bursting like a heavenly explosion in her mouth.  
  
"Can I help you make the jelly?" Jas asked.  
  
"Mmm, probably not the first time since I've never made any before and I'm not super familiar with the recipe, but I'll let you help me when I make the second batch, alright?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
After completely draining the bush of berries, Amber set her basket down and stretched, then rolled her head from side to side, groaning. "Ugh, I'm _starving_. Ready to eat?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Shane, who had been silently picking berries from a smaller bush a little further into the forest joined the two girls and laid out a large, thin blanket he had rolled up in his backpack and placed a picnic basket down in the center. As everyone got themselves settled, Amber passed around the food. It wasn't much - just some sandwiches, chips, and a couple bunches of grapes - but the spot they were in was so damn idyllic, the warm sunlight streaming through the earthly canopy of gold and red leaves above them that they might as well have been in one of those ultra-expensive, hippie, new-age restaurants that were filled to the brim with plants and were becoming more and more popular in Zuzu City.  
  
"You know, Jas," Amber said, "Whenever Shane and I were about your age, we used to play together in this forest."  
  
"Weawwy?" Jas replied, her mouth full of peanut butter sandwich.  
  
"Really."  
  
"What did you play?"  
  
"Oh, just normal kid games, I guess. Tag, probably. I don't remember much - it was a long time ago." Amber felt bad that she didn't have any good stories to tell, but after a minute of heavy thinking, a fragment of a memory sprung to her mind. "I _do_ remember one time Shane helped me climb a tree, and I got scared because I was afraid of heights, so I started to cry. I think he had to get your Aunt Marnie to come and get me down."  
  
Jas's jaw dropped - and so did her sandwich. "You couldn't climb a tree by yourself?"  
  
"Nope. Still can't."  
  
"Well I can," she bragged. "Wanna see?"  
  
Without waiting for a response, the girl jumped up and ran to the nearest tree, quickly climbing up and swinging herself up onto a branch, cackling as she went.  
  
"Girl's part monkey or something," Amber said quietly, amazed, and turned to Shane. He had been smiling, but after making eye contact with Amber, dropped his head and busied himself with plucking grape stems out of the grapes on his plate.  
  
_Not again._  
  
Moments like then were starting to happen more and more - everything would be perfectly fine, but in an instant, whatever smile he had on his face would slide off as he seemed to fall deep into thought.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"You sure? Because you've been really quiet again today."  
  
"I'm positive."  
  
"Shane," she said, sighing, and before she could continue, an acorn came flying through the air and landed in the center of her plate, knocking a few chips onto the blanket. She looked up.  
  
"Watch me!" Jas called, and hopped out of the tree - landing on her feet, but falling forward onto her hands. She stood, knocking the dirt off on her jeans and ran back over to Amber and Shane. "Did you see me?"  
  
"I did, that was awesome!"  
  
Jas plopped back down on the blanket and took a huge drink of her juice, and with that, the subject was dropped.  
  
During the passing weeks, Amber had also started to become more friendly with Abigail. Amber had never really had a _true_  female friend before, so it came as a pleasant surprise to find that she got along so easily with someone she initially didn't really think much of. Since Abby usually helped her dad out at his shop, she had a lot of down time, so she would pay visits to the farm often - even occasionally joining Amber and Sebastian for their smoke sessions.  
  
One day, when Sebastian was in the bathroom, Amber asked Abigail how she felt about him, and got the response:  
  
"Sebby's my best friend, but I just don't see him that way. Besides, I love the valley and Seb wants to leave for Zuzu City some day, so there's that."  
  
Abigail had also talked Amber into signing up for the Stardew Valley Fair grange display competition to begin with, and once news got around, informed her that her father had nearly become sick with worry over the possibility of losing his 12 year winning streak. "He has mom giving extra care to each and every crop in our garden," Abigail said, a mischievous smile on her face.  
  
The Friday before the fair, the group had met up at the saloon like usual, and a very lengthy game of pool between Amber and Sam was underway. Though close, the game was painstakingly slow as the two hardly managed to pocket a single ball. They each had their own coaches; Sebastian with Sam, and Shane with Amber, and with a lot of guidance and quite possibly a miracle, Amber managed to defeat Sam for once, _finally_  digging herself out of the "Worst Pool Player in Stardew Valley" spot.  
  
After buying a round of drinks to celebrate, Amber sat down with Abby to chat, and quite a while later, looked around, noticing that Shane was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Hey," Amber said, interrupting Abigail's story. "Did you see Shane come back in yet?"  
  
"No, he and Seb are still out. Why?"  
  
"Just wondering."  
  
Ten minutes or so went by, and after seeing no sign of either Shane or Sebastian, Amber decided to go out after them and see what was holding them up. It wasn't unusual for the two to head out, but they had never been out for _this_  long. When she opened the door, she expected to see them sitting on the benches ahead, but as as soon as she saw they weren't there, she heard their faint voices coming from behind the saloon.  
  
_\-- "I'm gonna fuck it all up somehow."_  
  
_\-- "I don't think you are, man. You should see how she -"_  
  
Sebastian's voice faded away as Amber walked down the steps and around the side of the building, her footsteps loud as she treaded over dry, fallen leaves, and when she came around the the corner she saw the two men looking back at her, cigarettes in hand. _Both_  of their hands. Her eyes flickered up from the cigarette between Shane's fingers to his shocked expression.  
  
"I didn't know you smoked."  
  
Flustered, he dropped the cigarette, putting it out with his shoe. "I don't. I mean I did, but I quit. I -"  
  
"It's my fault," Sebastian interrupted, then took one final drag and put his out as well, rubbing it against the brick wall of the saloon and dropping it to the ground. "He told me he quit, but I've been giving them to him anyway."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Just Friday nights," Shane said desperately. "I haven't been smoking any other time."  
  
After a brief but awkward silence, Sebastian walked around the corner. "I'll see you guys in a bit." 

When she heard the saloon door close behind him, Amber looked at Shane who was staring down, ashamed, as if he were a kid who just got caught stealing from his mom's purse.  
  
"What is _up_  with you?"  
  
"Nothing's up."  
  
"Nothing? You've been odd for weeks, and then after I find you back here smoking, you act as if I'm gonna beat you for it. I don't necessarily like it, but as long as it doesn't become a habit, it doesn't bother me. I mean, Jesus, I smoke too. Might be weed, but it's still smoking."  
  
He shook his head. "Just... didn't want to disappoint you, or gross you out or anything."  
  
Amber softened at his words. Maybe this was why he had been acting odd? The timing kind of matched up, after all. It was definitely an overreaction, though.  
  
"I'm not disappointed," she said gently, then smirked. "And if you taking a crap at my house doesn't gross me out, then one little cigarette won't either."  
  
"Oh, _come on_ , don't... don't say that," he said, turning crimson.  
  
"What, mention that you shit? Everyone does it, Shane. Pretty sure there was an entire children's book written on the topic."  
  
A smile flickered across Shane's face, and Amber stepped a little closer, her playful expression becoming more serious. "Just... please don't keep stupid secrets like that from me. We all have our vices, and I'm sure as hell not going to get angry or _disappointed_  over the occasional cigarette."  
  
By the time she dropped him off at the ranch later that night, Shane's mood had improved, but as she walked home, she still couldn't break the lingering feeling that there was something else up with him.  
  
When the day of the fair arrived, Amber woke up excited, but _extremely_  on edge. Since Marnie and Shane had their own section at the fair that they had to set up early, it was up to her to get the stuff for her grange display to town. Carefully, each and every item was packed inside a large burlap sack, and as she walked to town cradling the bag like a baby, she prayed that everything would arrive intact and unblemished.  
  
Amber had heard from Abigail that the Stardew Valley Fair was the town's biggest event which brought in a great deal of money as it attracted tourists from nearby small towns like Chesterfield and Fairhope as well as larger cities like Zuzu City and Bay Ridge. But even with that in mind, Amber still wasn't prepared for all the _people_. Like a rough sea of flesh, the usually empty Pelican Town square bustled with all manner of folk - young and old alike - as they moved from tent to tent playing games, buying prizes, chattering, eating, and checking out artisan stands. Upon first arriving, Amber passed by a prize stand in the same location as Pierre's during the Egg Festival, but this time it was manned by someone she had never seen before. Beside the clinic was a test your strength game, and again, it was ran by a stranger - a _very_  muscular, very shirtless stranger. The grange displays themselves were in front of the clinic and general store, and by the time she was done pushing her way through the crowd, she was almost certain that _something_  in her bag had not survived.  
  
The first display she passed was Pierre's, and immediately, whatever little confidence she _did_  have before fled. His display was... _fucking_ amazing - filled with plump pumpkins, flawless kale, red cabbage, eggs, ruby red tomatoes, and the largest, juiciest blueberries she had ever laid eyes on. Amber may have had farming in her blood, but Pierre had years and years of experience on his hands, and it was clear right away that he was a force to be reckoned with.  
  
Amber's own display was installed right next to his, labeled _Amber Harris of Harris Farm_. She set her bag on the ground and carefully began to pull each item out, one by one. While everything seemed to have made it out relatively unscathed, they were, however, coated with fibers from the burlap sack. Pulling a clean microfiber cloth from her jacket pocket, she dusted each item off before putting them inside, and after that, wiped the display box itself clean in an effort to make everything look as pristine and professional as possible.  
  
Stepping back, Amber examined her completed display. She'd set her most valuable item, the blackberry jam, right in the middle. Surrounding it were: a single bright green artichoke, both a shucked and unshucked ear of corn, a rather large pumpkin, a half-dozen eggs - three brown and three white - an aromatic pink fairy rose, a sunflower, a bundle of amaranth, and lastly, a few chanterelle mushrooms; one she'd found among the trees on her farm just the day before, replacing an eggplant. Only the best of the best were chosen for the display, and she hoped that all the care and effort she had put into growing and arranging the damn thing would pay off in the end.  
  
After giving everything one final glance, she felt a hand on her shoulder and twisted to see Marnie looking on approvingly.  
  
"Impressive display, Amber."  
  
"You think so?" she asked. "I wasn't really sure what to put in it, but I was told that pretty much anything homemade or farm-grown goes, so I hope this'll work."  
  
"I think you'll do just fine. You've made the competition nervous, after all," she said, tilting her head to the left. Amber turned and noticed Pierre standing nearby, looking at her display with his arms crossed in what looked to be an attempt to seem unfazed, yet the furrowing of his brows and slight pursing of his lips betrayed him. She counted that as a good sign.  
  
"So when does everything get judged?"  
  
"Not for some time. Lewis usually makes his rounds at all the stands and tents first - mingles with townsfolk and tourists alike, and then once he's done with that, examines the grange displays and announces the winner. You'll have plenty of time to enjoy the fair beforehand." Then, as if reading her mind, added, "Our section is over behind Lewis's house. I'll be taking Shane's place after the winner's announced."  
  
With a wave, Amber walked over to where she'd been directed and found Shane kneeling down, holding a chicken next to a couple of tourist kids. The children were posing - big, cheesy smiles on their faces, hands resting lightly on the hen as their parents took picture after picture after picture. Shane seemed to be attempting to make himself invisible by dropping his head, but the parents _insisted_  he look into the camera as well.  
  
_He looks like he's dying inside_ , she thought, feeling mostly pity but also a little amusement.  
  
Once the family left, Shane placed the chicken back into a pen with the others, and Amber came up beside him.  
  
"Not a fan of pictures?"  
  
Startled, Shane jumped and whipped around. "Uh, no, not really."  
  
"That's a shame. I was hoping I could start my own personal collection."  
  
His face flushed, and a gloved hand reached up to rub the back of his neck. "You don't want that."  
  
"I _do_ ," Amber said, somewhat annoyed, but softened immediately. "You're lucky, though. If I hadn't seen how miserable you looked just then, I'd talk you into it right _now_... but I'll let you survive another day or two."  
  
Leaning forward, she kissed him deeply, the distinct taste and smell of his mouthwash mingling with her senses briefly before he pulled away and looked around anxiously.  
  
"What, afraid someone will see? We're old news now, don't you know?"  
  
Amber wasn't just trying to put Shane at ease, she was actually telling the truth - having overheard the newest bit of gossip at Pierre's a few days before. At Shane's questioning, she explained. Apparently Elliott Reed, the pompous man from the Flower Dance had managed to publish his first novel but turned out to be a complete and total flop. He hadn't left his house in over a week and ignored all calls.  
  
After another quick kiss, Amber looked over everything Shane and Marnie had set up. There were several pens - one with chickens, one with pigs, and one with goats - and a smaller pen filled with the fluffiest rabbits she had ever seen. One thing she _didn't_  see, however, was Jas, - which was odd as she was usually always with either Marnie or Shane.  
  
"Where's Jas?"  
  
"Penny and Sam are taking her and Vince around."  
  
"So it's just us here then, huh?" she said, raising a brow suggestively.  
  
" _Amber_..."  
  
" _Shane_ ," she mimicked playfully, nudging him, then spoke again. "You been busy today?"  
  
"It comes and goes."  
  
"This is a petting zoo, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Amber looked out at the chickens thoughtfully. "What if, say, someone you knew _real_  well wanted to buy one of these chickens. Would they get a discount?"  
  
"You want to buy a chicken?"  
  
"Yeah," she said, shrugging. "Why not? Could always use more egg- "  
  
\-- "Excuse me," a small voice interrupted.  
  
Amber and Shane turned around. A woman stood nearby, looking completely out of her element - long, manicured fingers lightly gripping a little girl's shoulders. "My daughter and I would like to feed the goats." Bending over, the woman placed her mouth next to the girl's ear. "Give them your tokens," she whispered, and at once the girl held out a tiny fist and opened it to show a few plastic silver tokens decorated with a star. Shane smiled politely and took the tokens, dropping them in a bucket. He then scooped some pellets into a small plastic dish and set it in the girl's outstretched hands.  
  
When they didn't move, Shane motioned to the goat pen. "You can go right over at any time," he said.  
  
The woman raised her chin proudly as if she were trying to save face. "Can you show us how?"  
  
Shane nodded, and Amber watched as he took the container back from the little girl and led them over to the goat pen. He laid a small handful of pellets on his flattened palm and held it up to the fence where right away, a goat poked its snout through a gap - its lips and tongue fluttering hungrily over his skin. The woman and her child followed his lead and apprehensively put their own hands up to the fence. A smaller goat than before eagerly lapped up the pellets on the little girl's hand, and she let out a small shriek before collapsing into giggles along with her mother.  
  
"If you need anything else, just let me know."  
  
"Thank you," the mother said, then turned to her daughter and placed some more pellets in her hand.  
  
Shane walked back and sat down in a folding chair next to Amber. "So," he said, grunting as he put his feet up on the milk crate in front of him. "You nervous?"  
  
"What, about the competition?" She sighed and took a moment before answering. "Sort of. Your aunt said I might win, though."  
  
"That's what I've been hearing."  
  
"Do _you_  think so? No bullshit."  
  
Shane gave her a quick, shy glance. "Yeah, probably."  
  
"You haven't even seen my grange, so how do you know?"  
  
"I've seen the shit you grow. Makes JojaMart's look like absolute garbage, and Pierre's not much better."  
  
"Is that a _compliment_?"  
  
He smirked. "I give you compliments all the time."  
  
"And I never get tired of them."  
  
For a while the two sat and talked - Shane getting up often to assist people in feeding the goats, petting the pigs, or holding rabbits and chickens, but at some point the crowd began to grow thick - and Shane denied Amber's offer for help, insisting that she go around and enjoy the fair for a bit. She caught up with Abigail outside the fortuneteller's tent, and after getting a very generic fortune - _"I see you surrounded by family and friends in a time of great need"_ \- they bounced around from stand to stand, stopping near the playground for lunch and dropping off a barbecue sandwich and fries for Shane.  
  
When the time came for the winner of the grange display competition to be announced, the two girls headed to the square where Amber waited with bated breath. Marnie didn't seem to be bothered in the least, and neither did the lanky, grizzled owner of the Fish Shop whose display could be smelled from where she was standing. Pierre, on the other hand, was practically sweating bullets on that cool, autumn day as he squeezed his wife's hand tightly.  
  
Lewis stood atop a wooden crate and waited for the crowd around him to settle before speaking, and finally, after what felt like ages, he pulled a small notebook out of his pocket, flipped it open, and held an electric megaphone up to his mouth.  
  
_"The winner of the 57th Annual Stardew Valley Fair grange display competition..."_ Lewis's voice boomed, echoing as he paused to draw out the tension, _"with a record-setting total of 122 points..."_ another long pause in which he spent the time locking eyes with each contestant, _"is Amber Harris of Harris Farm!"_  
  
The crowd around her broke out into applause and cheers as Amber stood, completely stunned.  
  
"You won!" Abigail shrieked beside her.  
  
_"Come right up and collect your prize, Miss Harris."_  
  
It felt as if the ground beneath her feet was made out of gelatin as she slowly walked forward and took her prize from Lewis which was held within a large, velvety red drawstring bag. Before she could get a chance to peek inside, she was swarmed with people offering their congratulations and met them all with a smile and a handshake, including a tight one from Pierre. Once the crowd dispersed, she pulled the bag from her jacket where she put it for safe-keeping during her congratulatory assault and was just about to open it when a figure stepped silently in front of her. She looked up.  
  
"I told you you'd win," Shane said with a smile.  
  
"That you did."  
  
"You get a look at your prize yet?" he asked, nodding to the bag.  
  
"About to." Her heart hammered in her chest as she began to spread wide the bag's opening. What was it going to be? Money? All-expenses paid tickets to somewhere exotic like Calico Desert?  
  
Amber's smile fell as she peered inside, her eyes landing on nothing but a bunch of plastic silver tokens imprinted with a star and the number 20 in the center. She dug through the bag and saw that the rest were the same.  
  
Tokens? She worked this hard for _tokens_? _Pierre_  was this worked up over _tokens_?  
  
"You've got to be kidding me."  
  
"What?"  
  
She held up one of the tokens. "What is with this town and their disappointing prizes? I mean, the grange competition is supposed to be one of the biggest events of the year, right? So why the hell do you only get tokens for winning?"  
  
Shane barked out a laugh. "You got _tokens_?"  
  
"What, you didn't know?"  
  
"I've only been here for one other fair, and Marnie didn't win then either, so no, I didn't know."  
  
Amber sighed and looked down at the bag, pulling it shut. "Can I buy my chicken with these?"  
  
"Sorry. You would have to use _real_  money for that."  
  
"Figures." She shoved the bag of tokens in her pocket, and as she looked up, caught eye of a large wooden sign labeled **PRIZES**  in bright orange lettering. "Hey, wait here a minute," she said, and ran to the stand, trading in the stupid plastic circles for a smiling turnip plush with a top hat, and after giving the rest of her tokens to a nearby child, went back to Shane.  
  
" _That's_  what you decided to get for yourself?" he asked, amused.  
  
"It's not for me."  
  
"Another gift for Jas, then?"  
  
"Nope." She handed it over. "A gift for you."  
  
Shane's smile dropped as he looked at the turnip for a long moment, then back up at her.  
  
"What's wrong, you don't like it?"  
  
"It's not that, it's just... that was _your_  prize."  
  
"And I decided to use it on you."  
  
"Kind of a waste," he mumbled.  
  
Amber furrowed her brows, taken aback. "Why would you say that?"  
  
"Just... because."  
  
"Okay, if you don't want the stupid thing, then give it back." She went to grab it, but he stepped back, mumbling out an apology.  
  
"No, I want it, I just - it's... I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  
  
Amber looked at him as he clutched the turnip somewhat pathetically and shook her head. "Why do you do this?" she asked.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"You always try to keep me from getting shit for you."  
  
"I don't..."  
  
"You _do_. When I took you to the city, you were fine with me treating Jas, but as soon as it came to you, it was almost like pulling teeth to get you to let me buy that jacket you're wearing now. Every time I bring you something from my field, you try to give it back and convince me to sell it instead. And right now, I get you this stupid fucking turnip head and you act like I just burned all my money in front of you. Why? Why won't you let me do this for you?"  
  
He was silent for a while, avoiding her gaze as he worked up his answer. "Because _I'm_  the one who should be doing it." He looked down at the turnip and continued. "It should be _me_  getting stupid fair prizes for _you_."  
  
That didn't really explain the other instances, but for now, she'd roll with it.  
  
"So you're feeling insecure, is that it?"  
  
"Amber -"  
  
"You don't _need_  to," she said, stepping closer. "I don't care to do all that for you. I _like_  you. A _lot._ "  
  
"Why?"  
  
She froze.  
  
"I'm _nothing_ , Amber. I stock shelves at Joja for a living, have no talents, no hobbies, and worst of all, I'm a fucking alcoholic -"  
  
"But besides Monday and Friday nights at the saloon, you've basically cut it all out, right?"  
  
Shane fell quiet. "Yeah," he said, looking down once more. "Right."  
  
"So don't beat yourself up about it, then. Please." She glanced around to make sure no one was or had been witness to their conversation and tilted his chin up. "And you're _not_  nothing. Not to me. To me, you're a sweet guy who loves his family and does his best, and _god_ , you have _no_  idea how much I admire you. I know what it's like to work for Joja, remember? It's totally soul-sucking. But you do it for your goddaughter, and I think that's amazing."  
  
"You must have low standards, then."  
  
"Jesus, Shane." Amber sighed, exasperated - letting her hand fall to her side. She knew he had self-esteem issues, and figured due to his alcohol abuse and that short depressing talk they had on the dock in the spring that he had more, even deeper problems, but he had never really made them apparent. She had, on some level, allowed herself to think that maybe she never gave him any reason to make him feel that way, but seeing him now, that obviously wasn't true.  
  
She pulled him close into a hug. At first he seemed to resist, stiffening almost imperceptibly under her touch, but then he gradually raised his arms, wrapping them tightly around her body.  
  
"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you," she whispered.  
  
When the fair was over and Amber helped Shane and Marnie load up all the animals into the trailer, Shane offered to walk with Amber to her farm. While she carried her new chicken and Shane's turnip, he held the entirety of her grange display - once again in the burlap sack. After putting her prize-winning items in the shipping box for Lewis to pick up the next day, she walked with Shane to the coop, and watched as he settled the hen in.  
  
"What are you gonna name her?"  
  
"I don't know," Amber said. "You have any ideas?"  
  
"She's _your_  chicken."  
  
"I know, but I'm still asking you."  
  
Shane thought for a bit. "Pepper?" he answered hesitantly, his cheeks flushing pink, then shook his head. "No, that's stupid."  
  
Amber smiled. "I actually think it's sweet."  
  
"You - you do?"  
  
"I do," she confirmed, then approached the hen sitting nestled deep inside her box and gave her a pat. "Welcome to the family, Pepper."

 

* * *

 

  
Shane slowly walked home, and when he entered the house, saw that Marnie and Jas were in the middle of dinner. A plate had been set aside for him, but he politely refused it, claiming he had a severe headache and headed straight toward his bedroom, locking the door.  
  
It felt like hours that he sat on his bed and stared at the goofy-looking stuffed turnip Amber gave him. " _A gift for you_ ," she said, her bright smile flashing. He recalled his reaction - " _Kind of a waste_..." - and the way her face fell as he acted like a complete and total mopey asshole.  
  
_Fuck_. He was slipping. The _true_  him had revealed itself... the depressing, angsty one - the one he usually tried to suppress with copious amounts of alcohol. It was coming out, and Amber was very much aware - she had tried so damn hard to make him feel better...

...That was one of the things he loved about her.  
  
"What the fuck am I gonna do?" he asked the turnip.  
  
Of course, he received no answer, so he did the first thing that popped into his head. It wasn't right, he knew that. With each step he took to his closet, a severe sense of self-hatred beat inside him like a drum but he still couldn't stop himself, hesitating only slightly as he reached up to the top shelf, pulling down a liter bottle of scotch that had been on sale at JojaMart and stared deeply into the amber liquid inside. It was almost empty - having seen a couple nights of drink already. Although he was completely aware of his impending failure, and knew he could just pour the shit down the sink at any time, by then he was already committed - and shut his brain off as he unscrewed the lid. With no further hesitation, he put the bottle to his lips, tossed his head back, and took a drink.


	17. Flashbacks

Shane's eyes shot open. A mass of soft, chestnut hair departed from his face as Amber's hand flew out to shut off the incessant blaring that had ripped him violently out of a deep sleep. She gently flipped over, and noticing he was awake, frowned.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "I completely forgot to shut it off last night."  
  
"It's alright."  
  
"Will you be able to go back to sleep?"  
  
"Probably not," Shane grunted as he turned on his side to face her completely.  
  
Amber sighed. "Shit. I'm sorry."  
  
"It's fine, I promise. Jas'll probably be up soon anyway, begging for something to eat."  
  
Amber moved over to kiss him, and it took everything Shane had not to pull away. He absolutely loved it when she initiated any and all physical contact between them, but he was always so hesitant to put his mouth anywhere near hers in the morning for fear of repelling her. She had never complained, and neither had he - just because he thought so highly of her didn't mean she escaped the curse of having terrible morning breath, but it was just one of those things among many that worried him.  
  
She broke the kiss, then reached up to touch his jaw, her thumb brushing along the stubble that covered it. "I love this so much."  
  
His heart raced at the first two words, but he didn't let it show. "What, the beard?"  
  
"Mmhmm," she hummed, gazing up at him with dark, starry eyes. Although he never understood how she could look at him like that, he always enjoyed it. Moments like that always made him feel like they were the only two people in the universe.  
  
"I always thought it made me look like a lazy piece of shit."  
  
"Well it _doesn't_ ," she said, moving closer. "I'm super into it. Have been basically since the first time I saw you sitting in the saloon staring at me like a fucking weirdo."  
  
Embarrassed, Shane turned his head into the pillow. "I wasn't staring at you," he mumbled.  
  
"You're so full of shit," she giggled, burying her face in his chest.  
  
They lay there for a long while, Amber lightly raking her nails in criss-cross patterns across his back, sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. Shane's mind drifted to the time he'd first seen her, well over a year and a half ago, and thought about how much of a stranger she had been then, and how familiar she was now.  
  
"You weren't what I expected at all," he said, and she stopped, looking up at him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Back then."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, when I first heard a new farmer would be coming to town and taking over that old shit-heap, I imagined it would be a 40 year old man or something. Then when I saw _you_ , it surprised me."  
  
"How'd you know who I was?"  
  
"We hardly ever get visitors here, you know that. It wasn't hard for me to figure it out. Also," he added, "because Gus put you on the spot immediately."  
  
Amber groaned. "I fucking _hated_  that."  
  
"I could tell. You turned red right away. I, uh..." he cleared his throat, feeling a flush spread over his face. "I kind of thought it was cute at the time."  
  
"Shane!" she cooed. "You thought I was cute?"  
  
Pushing through his bashfulness, he continued. "Cute. Gorgeous. Completely unfit for farming."  
  
"Why, because I was chubby?"  
  
" _No_." He hadn't even really noticed that. "Because you looked like a city girl through and through."  
  
"Do I still look like a city girl?"  
  
"Sometimes, when you do your face and hair up and all that shit. But most of the time, no. Now you look like you've always been here. A regular old country bumpkin."  
  
His words earned him a gentle shove from Amber, and the laugh he let out was stifled by yet another kiss.  
  
"So did you ever think about putting any moves on me when you first saw me?"  
  
" _God_ , no."  
  
She gasped, feigning offense. "You just said you thought I was cute, though!"  
  
"And entirely out of my league."  
  
"Do you still feel that way?"  
  
"All the time," he said honestly, and flinched - hoping his words didn't pop the sickly sweet bubble they currently had surrounding them.  
  
"Well that's no good," she said - then in a lower, huskier voice, "What could I do to convince you that I'm _totally_ within your league?"  
  
"I - I don't know..."  
  
"How about _this_?" Pressing her body against his, she slipped a hand past the waistband of his boxers and grasped him, stroking softly. He had been half-hard already, but her touch and the tender kisses she placed on his neck caused him to grow harder by the second.  
  
Amber had spent almost the entirety of the day before working in the field, so by the time the two made it to bed that night, she was dead tired and passed out the minute her head hit the pillow, leaving him lying there - rock hard - for a good portion of the night. It didn't help that she preferred to sleep in only an oversized t-shirt and underwear, her bare legs entwined with his own as they held each other.  
  
She nibbled his lip, and he groaned a little too loudly, bucking his hips into her hand.  
  
"Shhh," she said, hushing him. "Don't want Jas to hear."  
  
Jas. _Fuck_ , he'd forgotten about her. And he quickly forgot about her again when Amber demanded he remove his boxers, and as he did so, took off her own. She brought her hand to her mouth and spit, using it to wet herself, and after putting a pillow under her ass, pulled him on top of her.  
  
Once he'd lined himself up, he rolled down and pushed himself inside her, Amber's legs instantly wrapping around him as he began to thrust slowly and silently in order to keep an ear out for the door. He never liked to think of Jas as a burden, but it was a hell of a lot more difficult to do things like fuck his girlfriend when he had to worry about a kid bursting in at any minute.  
  
Spending most of the night sexually frustrated meant that he reached the edge faster than expected, so he quickened his pace in anticipation - Amber's light moans in his ear encouraging him. He was almost there, _almost there_ , just a few more seconds -  
  
The rattling of the doorknob and subsequent squeaking of the hinges startled him, and Shane quickly pulled out, yanking the sheets up over his and Amber's bodies - heart pounding. Jas poked her head in, and upon seeing the two of them awake, entered, approaching him on his side of the bed.  
  
"Can I watch TV?"  
  
"You don't have to ask me every time, you can just watch it."  
  
"Okay. I'm hungry, too."  
  
"You'll get something in a bit, just go watch something, please," he begged desperately.  
  
Jas walked toward the door, leaving the room without closing it.  
  
"Hey! Close the door so we can get dressed!" he called out after her.  
  
The second it was shut, Amber flipped the covers off them once more and pulled her shirt off, a fire in her eyes as she crawled on top and lowered herself onto him.  
  
That little interruption had stalled things somewhat, but they quickly started to ramp up again as he watched Amber work herself on his cock, the necklace he bought her bouncing rhythmically against her bare chest.  
  
"God, you're fucking perfect," he panted, and not too long after, gripped her hips hard, bringing her down onto him as deep as she could possibly go, staring straight at her playful smirk as he came. When his body finally stilled, Amber leaned down for one final kiss and slid off of him. He watched her as she walked to the dresser and tossed a wet wipe his way, grabbing a couple for herself.  
  
He wasn't used to it. Any of it. The sleeping over, the fucking, the way she shot a sweet smile his way as he wiped their sex off his dick. It was as if everything that had happened between them that year had been a dream, and he was desperately trying to stay asleep.  
  
After cleaning herself up and tossing the used wipes into the trash can, Amber pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants and approached him.  
  
"There you go, staring at me like a fucking weirdo again."  
  
Shane sat up, and after throwing the wipe away, bent over to grab his boxers. "Am I not allowed to look at you?" he asked as he put them on.  
  
"Oh, you can look at me as much as you want. But first," she said, "you need to make us some breakfast. I'm testing you on scrambled eggs today, so I hope you've been practicing!"  
  
A few weekends back, after asking Shane to help with dinner and quickly finding out that he was completely and utterly useless in the kitchen, she began to teach him the basics of cooking - stating that he wouldn't get far in life by just microwaving pizza.  
  
"I have."  
  
Amber opened the door. "Good," she said, walking through and closing the door behind her, leaving him alone. He crossed the room to Amber's dresser and opened his drawer - the drawer she cleared out just for him - and grabbed an outfit to wear. When he exited the bedroom, Amber was just leaving the bathroom.  
  
"Hurry up, I'm hungry!" she called, looking back with a smirk as she walked toward the front of the house.  
  
Shane smiled crookedly. "You're _always_  hungry."  
  
He went to the bathroom and pissed, then used the toothbrush Amber had _also_  provided for him, and when he was finished, stuck it in the rooster themed toothbrush holder next to Amber's black one and Jas's short, pink one. When he came out to the living room, Jas was sitting at the coffee table, coloring as she watched cartoons. Amber had just put on her boots, about to go outside.  
  
"I'll be back in a few," she said. "Don't forget, low and slow!"  
  
"I know, I know," he said, shoving her playfully out the front door and closing it.  
  
Shane walked to the kitchen, and after washing his hands, began to pull out everything he needed: skillet, a bowl, fork, rubber spatula, eggs, butter, salt and pepper. He put the skillet on the stove top and placed a few pats of butter inside. While he waited for the skillet to heat up and the butter to melt, he cracked the eggs, and after fishing out a few pieces of shell, whisked them together, poured them into the skillet, and seasoned them. The eggs were just starting to come together when Amber came inside carrying fresh ones from the coop.  
  
"How's it going?"  
  
"It's going."  
  
She glanced at the pan, then kissed him on the cheek. "Looks a _lot_  better than your first try."  
  
That, of course, was a severe understatement. Shane's first attempt at scrambled eggs, a dish that fucking _children_  learn to make, had went horribly wrong. First, he'd cranked the heat up way too high, then cooked them until they were completely dry and inedible. He'd felt embarrassed and _beyond_  stupid, feeling a strong desire to toss the pan out the window, but Amber tried them anyway - afterwards gently explaining what he'd done wrong and showing him a better way.  
  
Remembering what she'd taught him, he turned the heat off and put the skillet to the side while the eggs were still relatively moist.  
  
"Give me a minute to finish cleaning these up and I'll get Jas," she said, wiping away at the freshly laid eggs with a damp paper towel, setting them aside in a plastic container.  
  
After everyone's food was plated and every seat filled, Shane watched anxiously as Amber took her first bite.  
  
"Are they okay?" he asked, and she nodded, smiling, immediately digging in for another bite.  
  
Shane felt a burning sense of pride swell up within him. He loved how Amber made him feel so goddamn special for doing such stupidly simple things.  
  
He loved _Amber_.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
Dropping his head, he stared intensely at his plate as he took an unenthusiastic bite of egg. Ever since Shane realized he loved her, he couldn't help but think of Rachel. For the longest time, he'd always thought that what he felt for Rachel was nothing more than an extremely inappropriate crush, but after experiencing these feelings toward Amber, he knew without a doubt that it had been love. He had been _in love_  with Rachel. _His best fucking friend's wife_.  
  
Eric and Rachel met mid-way through their junior year in high school. Back then, Eric was quite the ladies' man, the kind with a different girlfriend every week, it seemed. But then Rachel came along. Like something out of a corny, teen romance movie, the two had bumped into each other in the hallway, and finding her attractive, Eric immediately hit on her - but Rachel wasn't having any of it. She shrugged him off, and with that, he was intrigued. For _weeks_  Eric chased after her, and for the life of him, Shane couldn't figure out why. To him, she seemed abrasive and clearly disinterested. Eric, though, wasn't one to give up, so he persisted until he wore her down to the point where she agreed to go on _one_  date with him - if that was all it would take for him to finally leave her alone.  
  
After that date, the two were inseparable.  
  
At first, Shane found it extremely annoying that Eric brought Rachel with him everywhere, but once he got to know her a bit, it was like he'd known her forever, and it quickly grew to a point where he didn't mind being the third wheel. She was funny, beautiful, caring, and actually seemed to consider him to be an actual friend and not just the friend of the guy she was dating. Every other woman Eric had ever been with straight up ignored Shane, so he couldn't help but bask in the attention, however platonic it was.  
  
Unfortunately, he began to develop feelings, and over time, those feelings started to grow out of control. Every friendly touch from her led to him wanting more. He dreamed, almost nightly, of her face. He memorized a half-million jokes just to hear her laugh. Every time he made a successful play in gridball, he hoped she had noticed. Every step he took, every action he made, he did it with her in mind.  
  
Finding out Rachel was pregnant nearly killed him. She and Eric got married shortly after, and having to stand there watching her marry someone else - his best friend no less - practically drove the nail into the coffin. He _hated_  how jealous he felt of his best friend, how envious he was that she'd had Eric's baby and not his. He tried to forget her by dating other women, but no one else compared. All he could think of was how much he'd rather be with Rachel. The moments they had at various bars and pool halls where they were in close proximity to one another as she taught him how to play pool was all that he really had of her, and he guzzled those moments up like an ounce of water in the middle of a desert. At some point, he gave up on trying to fall in love with other women and just fucked them instead, but even then it wasn't enough. And so he drank.  
  
When Eric and Rachel died, he felt as if his entire world had come crashing down around him. On one hand, the best friend he ever had, the friend he'd secretly betrayed for years by pining after his wife was gone, and on the other, the only woman he'd ever felt such strong feelings for, the woman he never had the chance to be with was gone too. And he was left with a little girl that looked just like them.  
  
When Amber came into his life, he'd almost immediately been drawn to her, and a small part of it was due to the fact that in some way, she reminded him of Rachel. But she _wasn't_ Rachel, so why the hell did he feel like he shouldn't be allowed to love her? Was it remaining guilt for his past transgressions? Was it because he felt like he didn't _deserve_  to love her? Was it both? Years ago, he had resigned himself to thinking that he'd never find anyone, especially not after taking custody of Jas and moving to Stardew Valley of all places. But there he was, in a woman's house - a woman he loved - eating the breakfast _he_  made for _her_. Things were going so well... why the hell was it tormenting him?  
  
"So, Jas," Amber said, and Shane looked up. "Spirit's Eve is coming up in a couple weeks... you get your costume yet?"  
  
"No, Miss Emily is still making it."  
  
"What're you gonna be?"  
  
"A fairy princess."  
  
"Really? Not Agent Nova?"  
  
"I'm going to be her _next_  year."  
  
"Sure you won't change your mind by then?"  
  
Jas nodded her head and took another bite.  
  
"Well I think you'll make a _beautiful_  fairy princess," Amber said, and Jas smiled, the corners of her mouth practically reaching her ears.  
  
When their meal was finished, Shane took Jas out to visit with the chickens and start the sprinklers while Amber cleaned up. They spent the rest of the day outside as it was rather warm for the tail end of fall, and that evening, after dinner, Shane and Jas said their goodbyes and walked back to the ranch, stopping at the small pond at the southern-most part of the farm to toss in a few rocks like the two always did on their way home.  
  
After getting Jas showered and tucking her into bed, Shane headed to his bedroom, closed and locked the door, and went straight to his closet.  
  
_This is the last night_ , he thought for the hundredth time that month as he unscrewed the lid and took a drink.  
  
The spirit of the week was cheap vodka, and although he didn't like the taste of hard liquor to begin with, that shit was the absolute worst out of everything he'd had so far - tasting like a mixture of lighter fluid and isopropyl alcohol. Hell, an _actual_  mix of lighter fluid and isopropyl alcohol would probably go down easier than the swill he was currently drinking. He wished he could have a few nice, mild beers instead, but as the vodka got him drunk quickly and was easier to conceal than cartons of beer, he'd have to deal with it. So far he had been successful in his attempts at hiding his drinking not from Amber, but from his aunt as well, so he did everything he could to keep up the façade that he had straightened himself out. Since initially cutting down the drinking - and eating healthier because of Amber - he had lost a decent amount of weight. Hard liquor meant fewer calories, so even though he had started to drink more, he didn't have to worry about his gut giving him away. He did, however, wake up with a killer headache just about every morning, but thankfully Marnie thought too much of him and assumed it was just fatigue due to talking to Amber for hours.  
  
God, and _Amber_. He couldn't believe how easy it was for him to talk to her while he drank. She seemed to never suspect a thing, even when he'd occasionally slur his words. She'd just apologize for keeping him up, and just like his aunt, thought he was exhausted. She was so good to him, and he was a sneaky piece of shit. She deserved better.  
  
Fuck, he needed to _stop_. _He needed to fucking stop_. Amber told him she didn't want him keeping secrets from her, and this was a _huge_  fucking secret.  
  
He needed to stop. Completely. For good. And he would.  
  
Tomorrow.


	18. Spirits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to pop in and thank you all for your continued readership. It means so, so much to me! <3

"Excuse me."  
  
Amber looked up from the packet of low-sodium fajita seasoning in her hands. Caroline, Abigail's mom, stood nearby, her fingers tightly clutching a clipboard. "Could I speak to you for a moment?" she asked apprehensively.  
  
"Oh. Sure. What is it?"  
  
"Well as you may know, the Spirit's Eve party is coming up in a couple of days. We usually have a sign-up sheet put out a week or so ahead of time so anyone can choose which job they want to do - we don't want anyone to be overwhelmed, and it's our goal to have the set-up move quickly and smoothly. Unfortunately, someone had to quit, and now we're short. I was... well, I was wondering if _you'd_  like to help out."  
  
"What would I be doing?"  
  
"Nothing much, just hanging up some lights."  
  
Amber thought about it briefly, then nodded. "Sure, I can do that."  
  
Caroline looked slightly surprised, as if she wasn't expecting a positive response. "Great! You'll also have to take it down the next day, if that's not too much of an issue," and with a "not at all" from Amber, she held out the clipboard with one hand, and with the other, pulled a pen from her apron.  
  
"Just write your name down here. We like to keep this information for our records."  
  
Putting the seasoning on the shelf behind her, Amber took both the pen and board, quickly scanning the attached list until she found the section labeled **LIGHTS** , and next to a scribbled out name, wrote her own.  
  
"When should I show up?" she asked, handing them back.  
  
"As early as you can, if that's at all possible. I know you must have a lot of work to do."  
  
"Oh, no, I don't have very much at all to do tomorrow. I could probably be there around noon?"  
  
"Wonderful! I'll see you there, then!" Caroline smiled as she walked away, and Amber turned back to the shelf, having just picked up the seasoning when she heard the sound of footsteps approaching her once again.  
  
"I'm so sorry, but I _do_  have one more thing to ask," Caroline said, and Amber turned her head.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Before you arrived, we usually got the pumpkins for our Spirit's Eve party for free from a neighboring farm in Booneville in exchange for a small crate of my husband's homemade blueberry wine, but this year they decided to charge us instead, and since we weren't expecting that, we just don't have enough money in the budget to purchase them. We were going to go without, but since you're here, I was - _we_  were wondering if you had any that you could spare. Of course, we'd be giving _you_  the wine."  
  
Amber coincidentally had just loaded up her shipping box just a few hours earlier with nothing _but_  pumpkins, and Lewis wasn't due to get them until the next day.  
  
"You don't have to," Caroline added on hastily.  
  
"How many would you need?"  
  
"Ten at the very least. We usually have twenty, but I don't want to ask too much of you."  
  
"I can do that. And you don't have to worry about the wine." The last thing Amber wanted was alcohol hanging around her home when Shane had all but quit.  
  
"Amber, you're a lifesaver. Oh - " she said, raising a hand to her own cheek. "May I call you Amber, or do you prefer Miss Harris?"  
  
"Amber's fine. When do you need those pumpkins?"  
  
"Actually, Emily Watkins is usually in charge of carving and painting them, so you'd need to deliver them to her as soon as possible - either this evening or early tomorrow. She lives on Willow Lane, right by the river - potted cactus right outside the front door."  
  
When the conversation had ended, Amber continued her shopping, and it wasn't until she began to walk toward the farm that she realized what she'd agreed to. Just last year she wouldn't have even _dreamed_  of showing up to any of the town events, let alone willingly arrive beforehand to help.  
  
_Funny how things change._  
  
Once she made it home and put the groceries up, it was nearly 5pm - time for Shane to get off work.  
  
_If I catch him right as he gets home, he might be able to help me deliver the pumpkins today. I've got way too much to do tomorrow._  
  
After putting on her jacket and boots, she started down the gravel road toward the ranch, and was about halfway there when she got a call from Shane.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Were you planning on calling me?"  
  
"Sorry," Amber sighed, feigning frustration. "I'm just _really_  busy right now. Lost track of time."  
  
"Oh. Want me to call you back later?"  
  
Hearing the thinly-veiled disappointment in his voice, Amber felt a little guilty for lying to him - however innocent the lie was.  
  
"I'll call _you_ , I don't know how long this is going to take," she said, pausing briefly as a squirrel darted across the path and skittered up a tree.  
  
"Alright, well... talk to you later, then."  
  
And with that, she hung up.  
  
When she made it to the ranch, she sat with her back to the fence so when Shane arrived, she'd be unseen. After some time, she heard the familiar sound of his footsteps as he got nearer and nearer, and just a moment later, he passed right in front of her, hands in his jacket pockets, unaware of her presence.  
  
"Hey, there."  
  
Shane jolted and whipped his head her way, the pink flush in his cheeks from the cold immediately draining to white, causing Amber to chuckle at his expression.  
  
"You act like you've just seen a ghost."  
  
"What are you doing here? I thought you were busy."  
  
"I lied," she said, smirking. "I was actually on my way here, just thought I'd surprise you." Noticing a bulge in his jacket pocket, she nodded her head his way. "What's that?"  
  
Shane looked down, then back up, quickly. "Oh, uh... It's just a thing. Medicine."  
  
"You getting a cold?"  
  
"No, it's... just my stomach. You know."  
  
Amber tutted sympathetically, and after standing, walked over and pulled him gently into a kiss, her arms winding around his neck.  
  
"So what's up?" he asked after they broke apart, the pink in his cheeks having returned with full force.  
  
"I was going to ask you if you could help me deliver some pumpkins to Emily's house."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well I wasn't going to ask Marnie to borrow the truck, and besides, I don't know how to drive stick... so I figured I'd just ask you."  
  
"No, I mean why are you delivering pumpkins to Emily?"  
  
"Caroline asked me to."  
  
"Caroline?"  
  
"Yeah, she came up to me in the store earlier and asked if I wanted to help out for the Spirit's Eve party, so now I'm going to be hanging up lights and giving Emily some pumpkins to carve."  
  
"You're kidding," said Shane doubtfully.  
  
"Nope." Amber shrugged. "It just sort of happened. Anyway, it's time for me to stop being a recluse and become a real member of the community. I'm kind of tired of hiding all the time. I've thought about it a little, and it doesn't make sense if I'm going to live here for... shit, the rest of my life."  
  
"You... don't plan on leaving some day?"  
  
"Why would I leave? There's nothing for me anywhere else, everything I want is _here_."  
  
A small but fleeting smile flashed across Shane's face, and he cleared his throat. "Alright, well... let me just go inside and take this," he said, patting his pocket, "and I'll be right out."  
  
"Hurry!"

 

* * *

 

  
Amber had handed Shane nearly fifteen pumpkins from the shipping crate when he straightened himself with a groan and looked down incredulously at the sight of yet another pumpkin being held up toward him. "Jesus, how many do they want you to give them?" he asked, taking the gourd.  
  
"Caroline said they usually have twenty, but I was thinking about donating thirty just so they'd have extra."  
  
" _Thirty_?" Shane turned back around. "Will that set you back much?"  
  
"Not really, just a little over 37,000G," she said without thinking, offering up another pumpkin.  
  
"That's almost half of my monthly paycheck..." Shane mumbled, grabbing the pumpkin and putting it in the truck.  
  
Amber dropped the conversation by pretending she didn't hear him. Ever since their discussion at the fair, she tried her absolute best to skirt around the topic of money, not wanting to feed his insecurities - but like an idiot, she just _had_  to let it slip that by giving away these pumpkins, she'd be losing what to _her_  was basically chump change, but to _him_  was just enough to get by on.  
  
Once every single one of the pumpkins had been loaded up, the two drove to Emily's house, and upon pulling up, Amber noticed Shane had unbuckled himself and was beginning to open his door. "You can stay in here if you want," she said.  
  
"I'm not going to make you bring in _thirty_  pumpkins all by yourself."  
  
Together, they walked up to the front door, and after taking a deep breath, Amber knocked. A minute passed with no answer.  
  
"She's probably at work," Shane said. Amber raised her fist to knock one last time when the door opened. A _very_  pretty golden-haired woman stood before her, perfectly arched brows knit together in confusion as she looked Amber over first, then Shane.  
  
"Amber," she said, her honeyed voice expressing surprise.  
  
"Hi, uh... is Emily here?"  
  
"No, she's working tonight. Can I help you with anything?"  
  
"I was just stopping by because Caroline at the general store asked me to drop off some pumpkins for Emily, so..." she gestured to the truck behind her. "I'm dropping off some pumpkins."  
  
The woman stepped further inside and looked around the corner. "Alex, come get this stuff and bring it in." She returned, holding out a perfectly manicured hand, her long nails painted a light pastel blue. "I'm Haley, Emily's sister."  
  
"Amber," she said, putting out her own calloused hand and shaking Haley's soft one.  
  
"I know."  
  
Amber flushed. "Right. Sorry."  
  
The muscular, green-eyed man who had asked Amber to dance back in the spring came through the doorway, and upon seeing Shane standing head, shot a quick, sidelong glance his way as he pushed through and headed toward the truck.  
  
After putting down the tailgate, Amber, Shane, and Alex began to carry the pumpkins through to the kitchen, setting them on the floor while Haley stood and watched. When the last few pumpkins had been brought in and placed with all the others, Haley casually walked over to Amber and began to touch her hair, lifting up a curl and leaning in uncomfortably close.  
  
"When's the last time you got a trim?"  
  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
  
"You have _terrible_  split ends." Haley leaned away, her hands falling to Amber's as she brought them up to examine them as well. "And your _nails_... chipped and dry." She gave them a closer look as Amber gaped, then glanced up, her icy blue eyes flashing. "I could take care of them for you."  
  
"It's... it's okay. Thanks."  
  
Haley shrugged. "If you say so. I'll tell Emily you came by," she said, sauntering out of the room.  
  
On the way back to the farm, Amber mindlessly raised her hands up to her hair and began to stroke it. "I can't believe she straight up insulted my hair. _And_  my nails. I mean, I work on a _farm_  for fuck's sake, it makes sense that they wouldn't look as good as they used to."  
  
Amber used to put a whole _lot_  of care into her appearance when she lived in Zuzu City. Manicures, pedicures, teeth-whitening, sulfate and silicone-free shampoos and conditioners, bikini waxes and laser treatments, 12 step nighttime facial care, and so on. However, moving to Stardew Valley and diving deep into farm life meant all those things took a back seat, so while she may not look as great as she once did, she didn't think she was bad enough to warrant such a reaction. "Maybe I _should_  do something about them," she said quietly, and Shane scoffed.  
  
"Are you really gonna give a shit what that carbon copy beauty queen has to say or think?"  
  
"No, I guess not," she said, then groaned. "This is what I get for being more sociable." Amber gave a long sigh, staring out the window into the darkness as Shane drove. "I wonder why Alex gave you that weird look? You say 'fuck off' one too many times or something?" She turned away from the window just in time to see him shrug.  
  
"I don't know."

 

* * *

 

  
On the day of the party, Amber headed to the town square around 10am, and _already_  it was starting to seem like an entirely different place. The townspeople moved like ants, teaming up to move large, portable hedges out of a moving truck and carrying them toward the playground. Temporary fencing had been placed along the square itself as a border wall, and was already decorated with fake cobwebs and tiny, black plastic spiders. In front of the clinic stood a wrought-iron cage, and inside, a woman who Amber recognized as Dr. Harvey's assistant sat tinkering with what looked to be two realistic robotic skeletons, a miniature screwdriver between her lips.  
  
"Amber, over here!"  
  
Amber looked over and saw Caroline, her hair pulled back into twin ponytails, standing next to a large cardboard box and beckoning her over.  
  
"Where do you guys _keep_  all this stuff?" Amber asked as she approached, looking around.  
  
"The old Community Center." A fond look fell over Caroline's face as she began to reminisce. "We used to get together, drink coffee, and talk in the kitchen while the little ones ran around in the play room. Oh, and we had a _lovely_  aquarium in the main room where we'd hold our meetings and parties. It used to be the home of Mayor Lewis's office too, but once JojaMart came through, our local stores couldn't generate enough money to pay for upkeep, so it slowly fell to ruin. We put it to use as a storage facility after that."  
  
Amber frowned slightly, unsure of what to say, and Caroline shrugged. "But you know, nothing we can do now except deal with what we got the best we can. Anyway," she said, picking up the box and passing it to Amber, "here are the lights. If there are any that don't work, just let me know and I'll get my husband to fix them."  
  
"Where do you want me to hang them?"  
  
Caroline pointed to the fencing. "Right along the top there. There should be a little baggy of twist ties somewhere inside that box that you can use to secure them to the fence."  
  
When Caroline walked away, Amber set the box back down and opened it to see a tangled mass of lights, each bulb surrounded by a translucent plastic ghost. She sat down on the cobblestones beside it and went to work untangling, taking a break every so often to walk, relieving the pain afflicted on her rear. After what felt like hours, she managed to untangle the lights and hung them up - plugging them into an extension cord nearby, bringing them to life. She walked along the perimeter, carefully checking each one, and after seeing that they were all fully functional, considered the job done.  
  
_\-- "Granny, no, let me get that for you!"_  
  
Amber turned around and saw Alex rushing toward a frail old woman attempting to pick up a rather large pot of chrysanthemums, lifting it only an inch from the ground before dropping it with a quiet huff. Alex kindly moved her aside and picked up the pot.  
  
"Where do you want it?"  
  
"Right over there, dear."  
  
After setting the flowers back down in their designated area, Alex kissed the elderly woman on the cheek and put his hands on her shoulders, stooping down to look into her eyes. "Stop trying to move heavy stuff by yourself," he scolded gently. "Dr. Harvey said it's bad for your back."  
  
"Oh, Alex, don't you worry about your old granny."  
  
"Someone has to."  
  
Amber looked away before she was caught staring and began to leave the town square with the nearly empty box, only to have Alex jog up beside her a short time later.  
  
"Hey, you doing anything important?"  
  
"Just putting this box up," she said slowly, expecting another come-on. "Why?"  
  
"It's my job to set up the tables and chairs, but they're pretty heavy. Can't ask anyone else to help because they're either old or busy, but you looked free so I thought I'd ask."  
  
Amber smiled, relieved to hear such an innocent and reasonable request. "Yeah, okay. I can help."  
  
She walked with him to the Community Center, and when they entered, the sight was way worse than she imagined. The main room was packed with boxes and festival decorations, including a Winter Star tree that had been disassembled and shoved into a far corner. Floorboards had been pried up in places and seemed to have been used to board up the windows, light fixtures hung broken from the ceiling, and the wood paneling bowed in from water damage.  
  
Amber set the box down and followed Alex out of the main room and into a smaller one which she assumed was an old pantry due to the dusty cans of food sitting on a shelf in the back. Several large, hard wood tables and chairs sat stacked inside, and she saw that Alex was right - they looked fairly heavy. Amber walked further in and began to pull the chairs out of the room in order to free up space so the two could maneuver themselves around the tables and carry them out together.  
  
"So why are you with that drunk?"  
  
_"What was that?"_  Amber asked, appalled.  
  
"Why are you with - "  
  
"Oh, I heard you, I just couldn't believe you fucking asked me that." She slammed the chair she was carrying down and looked him square in the eyes. "My relationship with Shane is no one's business but ours, and he's almost completely cut down on drinking, not that it's any of your concern. And even if he _hadn't_ , I don't think it's your place to call him a _drunk_."  
  
"I'm just calling it like I see it."  
  
"Well _don't_." She shook her head, biting her lip in anger, and pushed the chair out of the way. "You can do this shit yourself," she spat, storming out of the room.  
  
"He's gonna fuck up your life!" Alex called after her. "Trust me! Those people always do!"

 

* * *

 

  
Later that night, Amber arrived at the Spirit's Eve party, absolutely astonished by how everything had turned out. Haunting instrumental music played through a loudspeaker as she made her way into the town square, a heavy fog blasting out at her from several hidden smoke machines. Ahead of her, she saw the robotic skeletons walking erratically inside their cage, occasionally sticking an arm out to grab at passing townspeople. Dr. Harvey's assistant stood nearby, controlling them with a satisfied grin.  
  
She continued toward the meeting spot she'd set up with Shane, and on her way, looked to her right to see the lights she'd strung up on the fence bordering the refreshment tables, feeling both a sense of pride for having succeeded at unraveling the damn things, and dread from knowing she'd have to take them all down the next day.  
  
At the end of the walkway stood Shane who was dressed as he usually was, and Jas, clad in a puffy pink tutu dress with wings attached to her back and a crown of flowers atop her head. As she approached them, she saw the dress in greater detail - silky flamingo pink, with a sparkly tulle skirt and a lace bodice.  
  
"Jas, you look _amazing_!"  
  
"Thanks!" she said, and twirled, the dress splaying widely.  
  
"So _Emily_  made that?" she asked Shane.  
  
"Yeah, I saw her working on it the other night at the saloon."  
  
"Well it's fantastic. Might have to have her make _me_  something one of these days."  
  
Before Shane could respond, Jas tapped him on the arm, grabbing his attention. "Can I have a cookie now? You said I could get one after Amber came."  
  
"Sure, kiddo."  
  
The three made their way over to one of the refreshment tables, and immediately, Jas snatched up a giant, ghost-shaped sugar cookie and dug into it, crumbs falling onto her dress as she ate. Amber got herself and Shane some green punch labeled "Witch's Brew" and drank while nibbling on tortilla chips and guacamole that looked as if it were being vomited out of an anthropomorphized pumpkin.  
  
"You should try some of that pumpkin ale over there before it runs out," Shane said. "It's always the first to go."  
  
Amber shook her head. "No way. I'm not drinking on days _you_  don't drink."  
  
"It's fine, really."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Suit yourself," he said, and took another bite.  
  
Once she'd had her fill of sweets, Jas begged to go inside the maze, but Shane refused.  
  
"It's way too scary for you," he said, then pointed in the direction of the saloon where Emily sat beside a table covered in brushes and small pots of paint. "Why don't we go get your face painted instead?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
She rushed over, Amber and Shane trailing behind, and stopped right in front of Emily.  
  
"Hi, Jas!" You here to get your face painted?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Well sit down and tell me what you want!" she said, motioning to the chair beside her, and once the girl had sat, handed her a small folder for Jas to flip through.  
  
She looked for just a few seconds when her finger flew straight to a sparkly pink butterfly. "I want this," she said.  
  
"I think I can do that." Emily smiled, her bright red lips pulling back from her teeth as she took the folder and prepared the paints.  
  
Jas stayed perfectly still as Emily worked, waiting patiently for her to finish. When Emily had completed painting the butterfly, she grabbed a large, fluffy brush and dipped it into some glittery powder - brushing it lightly over Jas's cheek, causing the butterfly to shimmer in the light.  
  
"Voila!" she said, holding up a mirror for Jas to see. "You like it?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"I'm so glad!"  
  
While Jas continued to look at herself in the mirror, Emily turned to Shane. "That'll be 750G, please."  
  
Shane pulled out his wallet, and after opening it, furrowed his brow a bit before producing five wrinkled bills.  
  
"Thank you so much. And _you_ ," she said, turning to Jas, "you have a great Spirit's Eve and don't give your godfather too much trouble!"  
  
"Bye, Miss Emily!"  
  
After playing several party games and comforting Jas each time she lost, the trio came across the other Watkins sister - Haley - who was sitting bored among square hay bales and Amber's own pumpkins, a large wooden sign above her reading **HAPPY SPIRIT'S EVE** , and a dark backdrop behind her. Another smaller sign sat against one of the hay bales advertising Spirit's Eve pictures for 5,000G.  
  
Although she still felt a little awkward about their encounter a couple nights before, Amber didn't want to pass up an opportunity to take a picture with Shane for the first time.  
  
"We should get our pictures taken!"  
  
"Uh, I don't know..." Shane said, suddenly uncomfortable.  
  
Amber didn't want to force him into anything, much less in front of other people, so instead she turned to Jas.  
  
"Wanna take some pictures with me?"  
  
Getting an enthusiastic "yes" as an answer, she led Jas by the hand over to Haley, who then looked up from her phone.  
  
"Pictures?"  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
Haley popped the bubble gum she was chewing and stood, moving over to the camera equipment 10 feet away and began to adjust the height on her tripod.  
  
"You get three poses for 5,000G, so just sit, or stand, or whatever, and let me know when you're ready."  
  
The girls chose to simply smile at first, their backs straight, hands in their laps as the camera flashed away. Occasionally, Amber's eyes flickered over to Shane to see him watching happily, and although she felt bad he was left out, she was glad he still seemed to be enjoying himself. At Haley's instruction, the girls chose their next pose - a goofy one, in which they both crossed their eyes and stuck their tongues out at the camera.  
  
"Okay, time for the final pose," Haley said. Amber wrapped her arms around Jas, and closing her eyes, placed her lips on the giggling little girl's cheek in a kiss.  
  
Several more flashes and they were done, and as Haley looked down at the camera's display, her previously disinterested expression was replaced with the hint of a smile. When Amber came up to pay, however, the smile faded as Haley suddenly became serious.  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry for like, being rude the other day."  
  
Surprised, Amber shook her head. "It's fine."  
  
"No." Haley rolled her eyes. "I'm like, trying to be a more positive and considerate person or whatever, so I _recognize_  that what I said was rude," she said as if reciting a script. "Hair and nails are just like... my _thing_. I know you're a farmer or whatever, but I think you're too pretty to be going around like... that." She shrugged. "If you ever change your mind, just let me know."  
  
After paying the 5,000G and being informed that the pictures would be delivered to her within the next couple days, Amber turned to find Shane leaning against a tree - his goddaughter beside him, patting his back.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Just my stomach," he mumbled.  
  
"Do you need to go home?"  
  
"...Probably."  
  
"Oh." Amber was slightly disappointed that their night, which had previously been going quite well would be cut short, but there was no way she'd make him stick around if he wasn't feeling good.  
  
"Do I have to go home too? Jas asked.  
  
Shane shook his head. "No, you can stay with Aunt Marnie until she brings you home, he said, then faced Amber. "Can you please take her to Marnie?"  
  
"Yeah, of course," she said, her words fading as Shane silently turned and walked toward the ranch.  
  
Amber found Marnie chatting animatedly with Lewis beside the saloon, a cup of the aforementioned pumpkin ale in her grip.  
  
"Excuse me, Marnie?"  
  
"Oh, Amber!" Marnie exclaimed, a pink flush in her cheeks. "What can I do you for?"  
  
"Shane started feeling sick and went home... asked me to hand Jas off to you."  
  
"Oh dear," Marnie said with a frown. "That's no good. I've had entirely too much to drink tonight."  
  
"That's alright, my d - I mean, Miss Marnie," Lewis said. "I'll keep an eye on the little one and walk the two of you home when it's time."  
  
Marnie gazed up at Lewis adoringly, causing the old man to blush.  
  
"Is it alright if I stop by real quick and check on him?" Amber asked. "I don't want to just walk in your house without your permission."  
  
"Of course, you're welcome any time!"  
  
After giving Jas a hug goodbye, Amber walked worriedly to the ranch and let herself in. The house was dark and quiet, but as she stepped closer to Shane's room, she heard his voice from within.  
  
_"This has to fucking stop..."_  
  
Amber paused at the door to listen, hearing nothing but quiet, imperceptible noises. She tentatively raised a fist and knocked.  
  
"H-hello?"  
  
"Hey, it's me. You alright?"  
  
"Amber?"  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"No!" he cried out sharply. "I don't feel so great... don't want you to get sick or anything."  
  
"I don't care." Amber turned the knob and pushed in, opening the door just a crack when he rushed over and slammed it shut from the other side. "What the hell, Shane? Open the door!"  
  
"Please, just go," he said, his voice thick.  
  
"Do you... have someone in there?" She'd heard him speak, assuming he'd just been talking to himself, however his insistence in keeping her out began to make her think otherwise.  
  
_"No."_  
  
"Then why won't you let me in?" She waited a long time for an answer but received none, so she continued. "Please, let me in. I just want to take care of you."  
  
Another long moment of silence passed and Amber knocked lightly on the door once again. "Shane?"  
  
Slowly... very slowly... Shane opened the door, a look of complete shame upon his face. The further it opened, the more she saw. His room, while previously relatively tidy, looked as if a tornado had ran through it - clothes and dirty dishes scattered about, trash all over the floor. When she stepped inside, she noticed that a splash of something had been spilled on the front of his shirt, and moving closer, caught the scent of alcohol on his breath. Hard alcohol.  
  
Amber's jaw dropped as realization dawned over her. "You're drinking. You've been drinking."  
  
He nodded, his face expressing the look of a broken man.  
  
"Where did you...?"  
  
He turned and walked to his bed, picking up a half-empty bottle of liquor hidden among wrinkled sheets and held it dejectedly in his hand.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said to the floor.  
  
Amber just stared, her initial shock turning to anger as she shot out a barrage of questions, Shane responding to each one with a despondent mumble. "Are you even _sick_?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Is this the first night?"  
  
"No."  
  
"How long have you been doing this, then?"  
  
"Few months."  
  
"Every night?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Jesus, _why_? You were doing _so well_!" Agitated, Amber crossed the room, stepping over a plate of dried pizza rolls and sat down - dropping her head. She sat silently for a long time as she tried to process the whirlwind of feelings tearing through her. She was pissed, of course. He'd been _lying_  to her! But she also felt an overwhelming amount of sympathy. Alcoholism isn't an easy thing to overcome - it's understandable that he'd struggle... even backslide from time to time.  
  
"I understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore."  
  
She snapped her head up to look at him. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I've been lying to you. To Marnie."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And that's a fucking _shitty_ thing to do. I'm a shitty person."  
  
"You're _not_ ," she said softly. "You just need some help, maybe go to some meetings or something."  
  
"I can't afford to go to any meetings, I spent all my money on _this_  shit."  
  
"Well then I'll pay for it."  
  
" _No_ ," he said firmly.  
  
"You have to do _something_."  
  
"Look at me," Shane said, gesturing first to his disheveled appearance then to the room around him. "My life is a pathetic _fucking_  joke. Why should I bother?"  
  
"Uh, because of _Jas_ , for one."  
  
"Jas," he chuckled dryly.  
  
"And me?"  
  
"Amber... I _tried_  doing it for Jas, and then for you. I _tried_  cutting down, I _tried_  quitting for good, but just like everything else I've _tried_  to do, I failed. I'm too goddamned small and stupid to take control of my life."  
  
"Which is why you need _help_. It's that simple, Shane. You have a disease."  
  
Shane laughed contemptuously, running a hand over his face. "I _am_  a disease. It'd be better for everyone if I just fucking offed myself."  
  
Amber stood up, furious, and after walking over to him, gave him a hard shove - sending him stumbling backwards a couple steps and causing the bottle in his hand to fall to the floor with a clatter. He stared at her in shock.  
  
"Don't you ever," she said, tears welling up in her eyes, a hard lump in her throat making it difficult to speak, " _ever_... say anything like that again." She stepped forward and pulled him into her arms, squeezing tightly. "You're _going_  to get help. And I'll be with you every step of the way because I - "  
  
\- _love you_ , her brain continued as she choked out a sob, and she stopped - biting her lip as she sniffled against his shoulder.  
  
_I love you_.  
  
But _did_  she? She'd never even _thought_  of loving someone before, so how could she know what that felt like? She knew she spent almost every waking moment thinking about him. She knew her heart fluttered each time he smiled that adorable lopsided smile or ran his fingers through his hair. She knew she felt empty the second he left with Jas every Sunday evening. Was that love? She thought so, but she wasn't going to spend the time figuring out her fucking feelings when there were more pressing matters at hand.  
  
"I care about you," she said finally. " _So much_... more than anyone or anything... and I'll be damned if you're going to let something like this beat you. Okay?" Amber moved back and gazed intently into his face which looked pathetic and beaten. He nodded silently, and after a short moment, spoke.  
  
"I don't deserve you."  
  
"Stop. Just..." Amber took a deep breath, the smell of whiskey sending a dagger through her heart. "Just stop," she said, pulling him into a hug once more.


	19. Good Food, Good Friends, and Good Vibes

"Hi. My name is Megan Wilson, and I'm an alcoholic."  
  
_"Hi, Megan."_  
  
Megan took a deep, shuddering breath and looked up from the podium - squaring her shoulders as she faced her fellow alcoholics. "My dad died yesterday morning," she said, her voice cracking. "He'd been sick for a long time, so we knew it would happen any day... but the second I heard the news, it still... it hurt worse than I imagined it would. The only thing I could think was, 'I want a drink. I _need_  a drink.'" She paused and began to fiddle with something flat, round, and pink in her hands. "But I didn't. I wanted to... _God_ , I _really_  wanted to, but I didn't. I went to my parents' house and cried with my mom and fell asleep next to her in their bed and didn't drink." She smiled sadly, holding up the pink disk. "Thanks to this group, I made it to my 157th day."  
  
The room was heavy and quiet as Megan finished her anecdote, her sad smile fading as she looked back down at her hands. The chairperson rose from his seat to the side and approached the podium, placing a gentle hand on Megan's back. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Megan. It takes a lot of inner strength to keep up your sobriety in the face of personal tragedies. Let's give a round of applause to Megan."  
  
The room sounded in polite applause as Megan wiped the black tears from her cheeks and walked back down toward her seat.  
  
The chairperson then looked at Shane. "Shane, do you have anything you want to share with us tonight?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"All right. Well. Since I have no announcements today, that will be it for the night," he said as the people began to stand and put on their coats. "I hope you all have a great weekend, and drive safely!"  
  
Most of the members began to leave - a few staying behind to mingle with one another. Shane wasn't one of them. Just like how it'd been when he first arrived in Pelican Town, these people had learned to leave him alone rather quickly. He wasn't there to make friends, he was there to go through the program - to try and improve himself so he could become a better godfather, a better nephew, a better boyfriend... and maybe, someday, something more. Besides, there was a nagging feeling Shane couldn't shake, and it was the fact that he simply didn't belong there. Sure, he was an alcoholic just like everyone else, but unlike him, they all had completely heart-wrenching stories - stories of hitting rock bottom. Stealing from their families to support their habit, losing their jobs, their friends, their spouses and children... Shane had never hit rock bottom. He didn't think he had even gotten _close_. Sure, he might have reached it eventually, if Amber hadn't shown up that night and found him out... but she did. The worst it got for him was locking himself in his room every night to drink in secret. He didn't kill a family of four while drunk driving like Karen did, or piss in the middle of the city library and have to be registered as a sex offender like Jerry. After hearing stories like _those_ , there was no way he could tell his own - _especially_  when he hadn't told Amber.  
  
What would he even say to her anyway? " _Well, my journey with alcoholism all started as an attempt to bury my romantic feelings toward Jas's mom. Then I drank in order to deal with her and Eric's deaths, and by then it had become a habit so I continued to drink even more as a way to unwind after working a job I hate just a little more than I hate myself. After that, it was because I fell in love with you and had no idea how to handle it besides drinking because drinking is all I've ever done._ "  
  
He couldn't fucking tell her _that_  - he wouldn't be able to handle whatever pitiful expression she gave him. She'd already been completely terrified over his blasé mention of suicide and practically begged him to not only attend the addiction support meetings, but to see a therapist as well, once again offering to pay for it, later on directing him to several therapists which he found out cost about half his week's paycheck an hour. He'd convinced her that it was something stupid he just said in the heat of the moment, which was, admittedly, half-true. It was a thought he entertained from time to time but never had an intention on following through. It was comforting, the thought of just being... gone. No longer haunted with his past and current mistakes, no longer a burden on his aunt, no longer second-guessing every single positive thing in his life...  
  
No. That was something he'd be keeping to himself.  
  
He _did_ , however, have her stand by his side as he came clean to his aunt, explaining that for the past few months, he'd been drinking in secret and would have to occasionally borrow the truck in order to attend meetings. He also stated he would begin to pay her even more in rent to try and make up for all the money she'd lost by housing and feeding him and Jas, and with that, Marnie wrapped him up in a hug, commending him on taking the steps toward bettering himself.  
  
"I'm so proud of you," she said through tears, and over her shoulder, Shane saw Amber watching the two, attempting not to cry.  
  
He appreciated the support he was receiving, but the whole thing felt so damn embarrassing. He didn't feel like he was worthy of such a fuss, but no matter how much he protested, everyone he was acquainted with did _something_  in an effort to help his attempt at sobriety. Marnie no longer drank wine with dinner, Sam took over stocking the liquor aisle at JojaMart even though it wasn't in his job description, Sebastian directed him toward a private internet forum for people struggling with alcohol abuse... even Abigail, the one he was the least close to out of all of them, gave him an amethyst - which, according to her, held hidden powers that helped the one who possessed it overcome addiction.  
  
And then there was Amber.  
  
"Quit your job," she pleaded earnestly. "I can pay you double what you make there every week, I have more than enough saved up! That place is not good for you."  
  
As tempting as the offer was, he refused. There was no way he was going to let her give him money when there was absolutely no work to be done. If she needed him come spring, _then_  he'd make the switch, but until then, he'd stick things out.  
  
He regretted his decision just a few weeks later when a customer vomited in the bathroom not even 30 minutes after the store opened, managing to get it everywhere but the toilet itself. Sam was usually the one delegated to such tasks, but as he didn't work on Fridays, it was up to Shane to clean up the mess. Taking care not to ruin his shoes, he stepped into the bathroom - breathing through his mouth as he sprinkled a generous amount of disinfectant powder over the affected surface. Once he'd swept it up, he drenched the bathroom in bleach spray, wiped everything down, and mopped - leaving the bathroom sparkling clean.  
  
He walked back to his spot at the condiment aisle where he'd been restocking giant jars of pickles to find Morris standing near the platform cart, tapping his foot impatiently at Shane's arrival.  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
"Someone threw up in the bathroom, I was cleaning it."  
  
"And what are you supposed to do with the carts when you are not around?"  
  
"...Put them in the back."  
  
"And did you put this in the back?" Morris asked, placing his hand on the cart's handle as he stared unblinking into Shane's eyes.  
  
"No. Sir."  
  
Morris pushed his small, round spectacles further up the bridge of his bulbous nose and sneered with pleasure. "You'll be getting a point for this, Shane. Take care not to slip up again. You want that little girl of yours to have a nice Winter Star gift, don't you?"  
  
Shane's blood began to boil at the mention of Jas, but he maintained his stony expression, and seeing that he had failed to shake his employee, Morris turned without another word and headed toward his desk at the front of the store.  
  
The end of the day could not come soon enough.

 

* * *

 

  
By the time Shane clocked out and left for the weekend, he was completely and utterly drained of energy - but his mood at least improved significantly upon seeing Amber standing beside the entrance to the store, waiting for him with a thermos which he knew contained hot tea. He wasn't really a fan of the stuff, but it was something warm to drink on the long, cold, walk home - yet another one of Amber's many good gestures.  
  
"Ready?" she asked, handing him the thermos.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
As they started their walk down the road, Shane opened the thermos and took a drink. Today was peppermint.  
  
"Excited for some more Solarian Chronicles tonight?"  
  
Shane grunted, giving a noncommittal shrug.  
  
Since going to the saloon was out of the question for the unforeseeable future, the group decided instead to meet up at Amber's house every Friday. At first, they just smoked, ate, and played video games on Shane's Mega Station, but the week previous, Sebastian had decided to bring Solarian Chronicles - a tabletop role-playing game which Shane had heard the others mention multiple times, but never really had an interest in playing. He felt the whole concept of role-playing was kind of corny, but Amber had fallen in love with it immediately... so he decided to go along with it.  
  
When they finally made it to her house, chilled to the bone despite being bundled up and sharing the tea, they saw that the others had already arrived and were sitting on the porch, shivering.  
  
"Finally!" Abigail exclaimed, standing up. "It's freezing out here!"  
  
"You know, you guys could just go inside. I never lock up," Amber said, opening the door and waving everyone through.  
  
Once the door had shut behind them, Sam took several huge sniffs. "What IS that? It smells amazing!"  
  
"Chili. Had it going all day."  
  
"It's not spicy, is it? I know how you two are."  
  
"Don't worry," Amber said, chuckling. "I've got you covered."  
  
Everyone moved further into the living room and took their seats while Amber turned on some music and Sebastian began to roll the pre-ground weed he had stashed away in his pocket into a couple of joints. He lit one, took a puff, and passed it to Abigail, who then took a puff and passed it to Amber. Amber skipped right over Shane and handed it to Sam, who then leaned over the coffee table and gave it right back to Sebastian. Shane wasn't interested in smoking weed. Years ago, he'd tried it several times with Eric and Rachel, and each time it sent him into a panic attack instead of improving his anxiety like they claimed. He knew now that he was older things might be different, but he just didn't want to take the risk.  
  
Because he didn't want to partake in that particular vice didn't mean he was left sitting bored, though. While they passed around the joint, Shane reached into the white ceramic jar in the center of Amber's coffee table, pulled out a cigarette, and began to smoke that instead. Since he quit drinking altogether, Amber expressed concern over his once-weekly cigarettes, afraid that he would ultimately replace alcohol with nicotine, but he assured her that would not be the case. It was just something to do - something to keep his hands busy while he sat there watching the others pass around the joint.  
  
After they'd finished smoking and chatted for a while, everyone moved to the kitchen to eat the chili Amber had prepared. Since there were only four chairs and five people, Amber opted to stand, leaning back against the counter as she ate, smiling widely at each compliment sent her way.  
  
"If you weren't with Shane, I'd marry you," Abigail said.  
  
"If he keeps leaving his dirty socks around the house, I just might take you up on that offer," she responded with a wink.  
  
Abigail smirked and gave Shane a friendly nudge with her elbow. "You hear that, Shane? Looks like you've got some competition."  
  
"Hey, I said _might_ , Abby. Shane satisfies me pretty well, I don't think I'll be leaving him _that_  easily."  
  
The room erupted into playful hoots while Shane flushed - smiling down at his bowl of chili.  
  
Five full stomachs later, the group went back into the living room where Sebastian cleared off the coffee table and began to set up the game - first laying down a board map designed with a forest scene, a wide dirt path running down the middle. Out of his canvas bag he pulled out five character sheets and passed them out, then removed a small bag of dice, a stack of cards bound together with a rubber band, and six miniature figurines - a wizard, a warrior, a cleric, a rogue, a ranger, and an orc. After the figurines were placed in the center of the board, Sebastian sat up straight and looked out at the others.  
  
"To recap, the scenario last week ended by us killing the jailer, taking the keys, and escaping out onto a country road where we spied an injured orc off to the side, leaning against a stump." Sebastian's eyes scanned the group before continuing. "What will you do?"  
  
"I'd like to go up and heal it. It might reward us if I do," Abigail said.  
  
Sebastian shook his head. "You shouldn't waste your mana on someone who might be an enemy."  
  
"Just ruin the whole scenario, why don't you?" she responded, rolling her eyes. "I don't even get why you're playing with us anyway, you're the GM."  
  
"I didn't say it was an enemy, I said it _might_  be. You can do whatever you want. And I'm playing because I've always played."  
  
"Yeah, before Amber and Sha-"  
  
_"Shut uuuup!"_ Sam groaned, and Abigail fell silent.  
  
"How about I go up to the orc and offer our services?" Amber glanced around, and with no objections, Sebastian flipped to a different card and began to speak.  
  
"'Ranger!' The orc's voice rumbles deep in his chest and out through gnarled teeth. 'A filthy little gnome ambushed me and ran off with what was _mine_! If you hunt him down and bring back what he stole, I will reward you.'"  
  
"Sounds like a trap to me," Shane said.  
  
Amber sighed. "Well we should at least _try_  it, don't you think?"  
  
Shane shrugged, and Sebastian continued.  
  
"The orc points a thick, green finger toward a path leading into the forest. You walk along it, and before long, you see the gnome up ahead, greedily hunched over his spoils." Sebastian reached into his bag and pulled out yet another figurine, a gnome, and set it on the board.  
  
"I'd like to attempt to shoot the gnome in the back of the head," Amber said.  
  
"You have to hit a 2 or higher. Roll."  
  
She grabbed the nearest 20-sided die and let it loose onto the table, watching as it rolled and landed on 10.  
  
"Your arrow pierces the gnome's skull, sending him falling to the ground, his final breath hissing weakly from his mouth."  
  
Amber grinned, and Sebastian removed the figurine, setting it off to the side.  
  
"I approach the loot!" Sam called out.  
  
"You take a step toward the loot and hear rustling in the grass around you."  
  
"Of _course_ ," Abigail said, sighing.  
  
Sebastian placed the gnome back onto the board along with several others from his bag. "You turn to see ten gnomes digging themselves out of the ground, wielding axes and staring at you with murderous intent as they chatter angrily in some unknown language."  
  
"Told you. Trap," said Shane simply.  
  
Amber nudged him playfully and smiled. "Oh, come on, it's just a few gnomes. We can take them down easily."  
  
"We could try to tackle them individually, or we can defeat them as a group, but we'd have to collectively roll 40 or above," Sebastian calculated.  
  
"See? Should be easy."  
  
After agreeing that they'd stand and fight as a team, the group took turns rolling, landing a 1, 10, 5, 12, and another 12.  
  
"Oh god, we barely made it," Abigail breathed.  
  
"Together you cut through the gnomes like butter, leaving none standing." Once again, the gnome figurines were removed and set off to the side.  
  
" _Now_  I approach the loot?" Sam asked his fellow party members.  
  
"I don't know, you guys, that seemed a little too easy," Abigail said. "I agree with Shane. This still feels like a trap."  
  
Amber scoffed and turned toward her friend. " _Hey_. Don't side with Shane! Once you guys are gone, he won't let me hear the end of it."  
  
"While you stand there deliberating your actions," Sebastian said, interrupting their banter, "a horde of one hundred gnomes burrow out of the earth and charge forward, deafening you with their high-pitched screams." He dug into his bag once more and placed five more gnome figurines on the board, moving the ones off to the side back into place as well.  
  
"Okay, yeah, let's run." Amber said.  
  
"No, wait a minute," Sam said, holding up his hands as he stared dumbfounded at Sebastian. "Where the hell did you get all of those?"  
  
"Online."  
  
"Just for this scenario?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Sam shook his head. "Alright. Well, I'm with Amber, I think we should run."  
  
"You choose to flee, the horde of gnomes chasing you until you reach the edge of a cliff. Far below you is nothing but rocks and water. You know instinctively you would not be able to survive the jump."  
  
"Jesus Christ, Sebastian, are you _trying_  to kill our characters with this scenarios?" Abigail groaned.  
  
"Hey, I didn't write it, I just found it on the Solarian Chronicles sub-forum."  
  
"Whatever. Use Blazing Inferno on them or something."  
  
"Abs, that's all my mana. It'll take three battles to fully recharge."  
  
"Well what else are we supposed to do? You just said we can't jump because we'll die, and there's too many of them for us to take down as a team. You're the only mage, that spell is _basically_  a board-wipe, and it's the only chance we've got to survive."  
  
Sebastian sighed. "To destroy them _all_ , I'd have to roll a 20. If not, only half of them will be wiped out, and we'll still be fucked." He took the die in his hand, hesitating before throwing it. Everyone held their breath, watching as it rolled almost in slow motion.  
  
_20._  
  
" _Fuck_ , yeah!" Sam whooped as the rest of the group cheered. Sebastian continued without the cards, a cocky grin on his face.  
  
"Blazing Inferno swathes the gnomes with fire, their screeches ascending above the crackling of the flames, growing silent as they fall, their tiny bodies charred - the scent of burnt flesh rising into the air."  
  
"Let's. Go. Get. That. Fucking. _Loot_!" Sam shouted, pounding the table with each word, causing the figurines to topple over.  
  
"You travel back to the forest road and approach the loot. Among it is a small bag of gold, a curved dagger, a scroll, some gems, and a bolt of fine cloth."  
  
"I think we should just take it all and go," Shane said, shrugging.  
  
Amber shook her head. "I think we should return it."  
  
"Amber, we could have died, and we probably won't get much of a reward if we just give this stuff back."  
  
Amber looked out at the others. "Who else things we should turn it in?"  
  
Abigail and Sam raised their hands.  
  
"Sebastian?"  
  
"I'm staying out of it."  
  
Amber shrugged. "Well, I clearly have the votes, so..." She looked to Sebastian.  
  
"Alright, you return the orc and give back what the gnome had stolen. 'Ah, you returned my belongings to me. How noble.' The orc stands effortlessly, and with an explosion of light, transforms into a beautiful sorceress. She smiles at you, extending a hand.  
'For your honesty, bravery, and benevolence, I will permanently enchant each one of your weapons.'"  
  
"I told you," Amber said with a smirk.  
  
"You go up to the sorceress, and one by one, she enchants your weapons, adding +5 damage to all enemy types."  
  
While Shane was busy updating his character sheet, Amber leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I was right," and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
He in turn whispered in hers, "But I was right first," and kissed her back.  
  
Once everyone had filled in their sheets and the general chatter had died down, Sebastian went on.  
  
"The ground quakes beneath your feet before splitting - a giant chasm opening in the earth. You back away and watch as a giant gnome standing about twenty feet high bursts through the dirt."  
  
"Wait, there's more?" Sam asked, baffled.  
  
"The gnome raises his pickaxe in the air and brings it down on the sorceress, crushing her - drenching you in her blood."  
  
Sam waved his hand halfheartedly. "I, uh, attack the gnome," he said.  
  
"In order to damage him, you have to get 10 or above."  
  
Sam rolled an 8.  
  
"With +5 added, you have a total of 13. You charge the gnome and swing your sword, chopping into his thigh and causing him to step back in anger, swiping at you with his pickaxe. Roll for dodging."  
  
3.  
  
Sebastian grimaced. "The gnome hits you and sends you flying, rendering you unconscious for the rest of the fight."  
  
"No!" Sam's head fell with a loud _thump_  to the table as Sebastian flicked the warrior figurine over.  
  
"I attempt to shoot him in the forehead." Amber rolled, the die landing on 6.  
  
"With a total of 11... you land your shot, _however_ , as the gnome is stumbling due to his injury, the arrow goes straight into an eye instead. He roars in pain and stomps around as he tries to pull out the arrow."  
  
Shane sat up straight, recognizing an opportunity to finally act. "I try to slit his throat while he's distracted." He rolled and got 16, giving him a total of 21.  
  
"You jump up on the gnome's shoulders and put your dagger to his throat, slicing it deeply. Blood pours onto his chest, and he falls to the ground with a deep gurgle until finally, he stills. He is dead."  
  
Abigail sighed. "That better be it. This is an annoying fucking scenario."  
  
Sam finally lifted his head. "Let's check his body."  
  
"You search through the gnome's clothes, and tucked away in an inside pocket is a large, golden skeleton key." Sebastian set his cards down. "I think that's a good spot for a break."  
  
While everyone stood and stretched, Sebastian lit up the other joint and began to smoke it, sharing it with the others who afterward went into the kitchen to get something to drink and talk. Sebastian pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered one of his to Shane, who took it.  
  
"Got some news," he said as he lit Shane's cigarette.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Company out in Zuzu City reached out to me. Said they want me to come in for an interview."  
  
"And you said yes?"  
  
"Yep." Sebastian took a drag and tapped his ashes into an ash tray. "I looked them up after I got the e-mail. It's a pretty good company."  
  
"Will you move if you get it?"  
  
"Probably. I got nothing keeping me here." He paused, his eyes flashing briefly toward the kitchen as his cigarette dangled from his lips. He pinched the cigarette and took another drag. "At least there I'd be making more money and I'd finally be out of my mom's basement and away from my _fucking_  step-dad."  
  
"What'll you do about the band?"  
  
"I'll try to come in for practice on the weekends. Might even make it here in time to join you all for this. The only other person who knows how to be a GM is Abigail, but she kind of fucking sucks at it."  
  
"Well..." Shane took a puff from his cigarette. "I'll miss hanging with you, I guess."  
  
"Yeah," Sebastian said. "We'll have to get together sometimes when you come up for your meetings. You can show me all the good sushi spots."

 

* * *

 

  
Once the scenario had finished and everyone had left for the night, Amber sighed and collapsed on the couch next to Shane. "Looks like you're starting to enjoy the game."  
  
"Maybe a little."  
  
"A _little_? I saw the way your eyes lit up when you had a chance to leap into action and save the day. You're turning into a nerd."  
  
"Whatever," he said, smiling crookedly, and took her hand in his - stroking his thumb against the softened scar along the side of her finger.  
  
"So what were you and Sebastian talking about earlier?"  
  
"He was telling me that a company in Zuzu City asked him to go in for a job interview."  
  
"Wow, really? That's great!"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Shane rubbed his chin with his other hand and tried to ignore the pitying look Amber was sending his way. "You're going to miss him, aren't you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh, Shane." She squeezed his hand and laid her head on his shoulder. "You've come so far."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You used to _hate_  him. Wanted nothing to do with him, didn't even wanna _look_  at him. And now you're best friends."  
  
Shane started to protest, but Amber interrupted him. "You ditched me the other day to go hang out at his house, you _constantly_  send each other those stupid fucking pictures, you have your own inside jokes, you're going to that concert with him for his birthday, you - "  
  
"Okay, okay."  
  
"You're best friends."  
  
"I guess."  
  
Shane wondered what Eric would think about Sebastian. The two were complete opposites, after all. Eric was well-built, extroverted, and friendly while Sebastian was slight, introverted, and a little standoffish... That was probably why Shane got along with him so well. There was no pressure to keep a conversation going - if they wanted to sit in silence and smoke a cigarette, that's exactly what they'd do. With Eric, it was GO, GO, GO, all the time - always somewhere to go, something to do... He never felt that way with Sebastian.  
  
Yeah, he'd miss him. The thought that Sebastian had even once laid lips on Amber still made him a little uncomfortable, but after talking to him about what he'd witnessed that night, Sebastian made it absolutely clear he had no feelings toward her - that he'd always been interested in Abigail. Shane already knew that, but he wasn't going to let Sebastian know - it was just good to have confirmation.  
  
"Come on," Amber said after they'd both been sitting in silence for a while. "Let's go get you out of that god-awful uniform and into the shower."

 

* * *

 

  
Shane and Amber lay in bed, their bodies dry but their hair still damp as they kissed each other slowly. Shane ran his hand across Amber's hips and brushed through the soft hair down below, her legs spreading slightly to grant him easier access as he began to rub her in small circles. She moaned blissfully into his mouth as they kissed, her arms winding around his body, pulling him closer. He felt her growing wet and had just slipped a finger inside her when she moved away, biting her lip.  
  
"I have something I need to tell you."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I just... a few weeks ago, I realized something... and I didn't want to talk to you about it until I was sure you were doing okay. Until you got into the swing of things with your meetings and everything."  
  
He slid his finger out and sat up, a slight feeling of dread overcoming him as he waited for her to continue. Amber sat up as well, reaching toward his hand, hooking her pinky to his - a gesture he'd grown quite fond of. She looked up at him, her hair messy in the lamplight.  
  
"I think... Shane, _I think I'm in love with you_."  
  
It felt as if all the air had been pulled from his lungs at once.  
  
She continued to gaze at him, her dark eyes darting back and forth between his as if she were searching for something. An answer, most likely. But Shane couldn't speak.  
  
"I don't know if you feel the same," she continued. "I mean, I _think_  you do, I - I don't know... this is completely uncharted territory for me," she said, laughing nervously. "I just didn't want to wait any longer to tell you. I... I hope it's okay."  
  
When he still failed to respond, she began to blush and pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No!" Shane felt a pressure building from his chest up to his skull, as if he were about to explode from the multitude of emotions that were currently welling up within him. Without thinking, he pushed her down into a kiss. They kissed, and they kissed, and when they finally stopped, they lay flush against one another - panting heavily, foreheads touching.  
  
_She loves me. ME._  
  
He wanted to tell her she shouldn't. Wanted to tell her she was wrong... but he couldn't. This was the _first and only_  time he loved someone that loved him back, and he didn't want to spoil it with his shitty fucking attitude. God, how could she love him when he didn't even love himself?  
  
"I love you," Amber whispered.  
  
Shane pulled back, his heart beating wildly. "I love you too."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"I do," he said, pressing his lips to hers once more.  
  
Long after Amber had fallen asleep, he lay staring at her for a while. Lifting a hand, he cupped her face and brushed his thumb over her cheek - across the freckles that were a result of the two years of hard work under the sun in the town that brought them together. He leaned forward and kissed them.  
  
He knew it wouldn't last for long, but for now - for tonight at least - he felt like everything would be okay.


	20. Let's Talk

"Listen to _everything_  Amber says, and do whatever she tells you to do - if you don't, she'll let me know," Shane said, looking sharply at Jas who was standing at attention.  
  
"I will!"  
  
"She'll be fine, I promise," Amber interjected. "She's a good girl, I don't think we'll have any problems."  
  
Jas beamed at Amber's words, but Shane's brows furrowed. "I know, I just..." he paused, shooting a quick glance at his goddaughter who'd begun to hop up the farmhouse steps. "Are you sure about this? You don't _have_  to watch her, she can stay with Marnie. I don't want to force her on you."  
  
"You're not _forcing_  her on me, I volunteered, remember? Besides, it's time she and I had some serious bonding time."  
  
Shane still looked hesitant but nodded anyway. "Okay. But if she acts up or anything, you don't have to be afraid to... get onto her or whatever."  
  
"As I said, I think we'll be good. She'll be going to bed in a few hours anyway, so _stop worrying_." Amber placed both hands on his shoulders and gave him a gentle shake before kissing him roughly on the cheek. "Now _go_. Have fun at the concert, and I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"See you," he said, zipping up his jacket the rest of the way and giving a final wave to both Amber and Jas. He walked the few feet to Sebastian's motorcycle, and after putting on the helmet he was given, mounted the bike and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist for support. The motorcycle came to life with a roar, and soon, the two men were gone - leaving Amber alone, for the first time, with Jas.  
  
Jas had already run inside, so Amber went in after her and quickly closed the door, thankful for the warmth. "So," she said as she took off her shoes and hung up her coat, "now that lame, old, boring Shane is gone, what do you wanna do first?"  
  
"Is it dinner time yet? I'm hungry."  
  
Amber couldn't help but smile. _Damn girl's a bottomless pit._  
  
"Sure. Is pizza okay?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Everywhere Amber went, Jas followed - from the kitchen where Amber grabbed a frozen pepperoni pizza from the freezer and slid it into the oven, to the living room where she cleared up Jas's coloring book and crayons from earlier that day. Usually,  _Shane_  was the one Jas stuck to like glue, but since he was gone, it only made sense that she trailed behind Amber like a puppy, asking her a million questions.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"When's the pizza going to be done?"  
  
"Can we watch TV while we eat?"  
  
"Can I have some juice?"  
  
Unfortunately for Amber, not all of Jas's questions were so easy to answer. As she stood at the counter cutting the pizza into eight equal slices, the little girl approached her right elbow, eyeing her curiously.  
  
"Are you and Shane going to get married?"  
  
Amber snapped her head toward Jas, then back to the pan.  
  
"Uh, I don't know, girlfriend. Hey, how many slices do you want?" she asked, turning back - a nervous smile plastered on her face.  
  
Being as the two had only been _officially_  dating for barely four months, the thought of marriage wasn't something that Amber ever considered, but now that Jas had brought it up, it was all she could think about as she mindlessly ate dinner at the coffee table, Jas's favorite show flickering on the TV ahead of her.  
  
Amber's parents didn't have the greatest marriage. They might have actually loved each other once upon a time, but it became clear to her the older she got that they only put up with one another out of convenience - being more like business partners than people in love. Part of the reason why Amber had such an easy time having meaningless sex with random men was the fact that marriage was never a goal for her. What was the point in trying to develop a relationship, risking heartbreak, and possibly ending up just like her parents when she could get what she wanted with a person she'd never have to see again?  
  
Of course, that was her thought process _before_  she decided to move to a small town in the middle of nowhere.  
  
When Amber first met Shane, all she wanted to do was to fuck the shit out of the guy. She'd stepped foot inside JojaMart the day after with a plan to invite him out for some drinks and hopefully get nailed in the saloon storage room, but to her surprise, he turned her down - and rather rudely at that. That same day, she happened upon him late at night on the dock in the middle of Cindersap Forest, and after he apologized, she thought maybe she'd get a chance after all. She drank, and she flirted - noticing he seemed a little nervous (which pleased her) - but the second he began talking about how he felt like he was stuck, it occurred to her that she was no longer in Zuzu City where there was a population of over half a million people. Here, in Stardew Valley, she was _guaranteed_  to run into him again and again. With that, her desire for a quick fling had fled - replaced with a more innocent goal to just befriend the man - maybe tease him a little bit here and there for fun. Maybe it was the fact that he was an outsider just like her, or maybe it was because she already had some sort of connection to him - however small - from twenty years before, but the more time she spent with him, the more she actually grew to _like_  him.  
  
And that like had evolved into love.  
  
Amber had said the words "I love you" more in the past week than in her entire life leading up to that point - but even then, she had paid no mind to where their relationship would ultimately lead as she was just happy to live in the moment. Perhaps that was a talk she needed to have with him, as forward and embarrassing as it may be this early into their relationship. They were almost thirty, after all, and he had a _child_. If they decided to take their relationship further, Amber would then be a _mom_... or as close to one as she could be. But if _not_... ...  
  
"Can I get some more? I'm still really hungry," Jas said, and after a nod from Amber, ran into the kitchen and returned with another slice which she devoured even faster than the first. Amber smiled as she watched the girl stare transfixed at the television, pepperoni grease smeared across her mouth.  
  
Having kids was also something Amber had never given much thought to, but if she was going to have any, Jas wouldn't be a bad place to start.  
  
Amber shook her head. _I'm getting ahead of myself._  
  
Once the leftover pizza was put up, the dinner dishes were cleared away, and Jas's face and hands were washed, the two girls once again sat at the coffee table. Jas laid her hand flat onto a paper towel as Amber carefully brushed neon pink nail polish over her tiny fingernails one by one. Amber's nails had already been painted the same color - as was much of the skin surrounding them.  
  
"Alright, next hand. Keep that one out, and don't touch the couch, _please_."  
  
"Okay."  
  
As Amber began to work on Jas's other hand, she decided to break the silence with a little small talk.  
  
"So does Shane ever do this kind of stuff with you?"  
  
"No, he just reads stories with me and plays with my dolls and legos."  
  
"What about your Aunt Marnie?"  
  
"No."  
  
Amber dipped the brush into the bottle of polish and had moved onto the next fingernail when Jas spoke again.  
  
"My mom used to before she died," she said simply, and Amber froze.  
  
"Oh yeah?" she responded, her breath now suddenly shallow. "What else did you guys do?"  
  
"I don't really remember a lot."  
  
A small part of Amber wanted to continue the questioning, but she decided to leave it at that. It would be a dirty trick, trying to get information out of an 8 year old, but she almost couldn't help herself. Out of everything Shane had shared with her, Rachel was always a topic he managed to avoid. Every time she brought her up, he'd either somehow find a way to change the subject or just shut the whole thing down. He'd told Amber so much about his relationship with Eric - how they met, what kinds of mischief they'd gotten into in their younger years, even the two-man punk rock band they had attempted to create but quickly abandoned once they realized neither one of them could sing worth a shit - but when it came to Rachel, he suddenly couldn't think of a damn thing to say. All Amber really knew was that she taught Shane to play pool, but that little piece of information had only come out when he was drunk and in a great mood.  
  
_Add THAT to the list of things we'll need to discuss.  
_  
Once Jas's nails were dry, her teeth were brushed, and she had changed into her pajamas, Amber set up the couch with a pillow and a couple of blankets before calling her into the living room for her bedtime.  
  
"Can I sleep with you tonight instead?" Jas pleaded, sticking her lower lip out in a pout.  
  
"Oh. Um... I don't see why not," she said, and at once the little girl yanked her pillow and stuffed rabbit off the couch and sprinted toward Amber's room, leaping onto the bed and burying herself underneath the covers. Amber flicked off the lamp and followed her, sliding between the sheets herself.  
  
"Goodnight, girlfriend," Amber said, simultaneously pleased and a little embarrassed at this sudden breaking of new ground with her boyfriend's daughter.  
  
"Will you read me a story?"  
  
"I don't really have anything..."  
  
"Please?"  
  
Amber turned over and opened her bedside drawer, pulling out a thriller novel she had just started reading a couple of nights before. She figured she could just continue where she left off and censor any inappropriate material she came across.  
  
Clearing her throat, she began to read. "Thomas turned on the hall light and walked slowly toward the back of the apartment, the wood floors creaking with each deliberate step he took. As he moved, he felt an intense chill overcome him; as if he had somehow mistakenly wandered into an industrial freezer instead of the home of a happy family of four. He stopped at the doorway to his left and peered into what seemed to be a child's bedroom. A small bo - uh... _thing_ , lay motionless on the ground, surrounded by a puddle of..." Amber shut the book. "This isn't going to work. I'm sorry, Jas."  
  
Jas frowned. "Can you make one up?"  
  
"Yeah, sure," Amber said softly, placing the book back in the drawer and flipping over to face her. "Once upon a time..."  
  
Amber wasn't sure when Jas fell asleep, but as soon as she heard her deep, level breaths and turned to see her face buried in the pillow, she stopped speaking - and just as well. The story was going absolutely nowhere. After plugging her phone in to charge, she switched off her lamp and settled herself in the bed, gazing fondly one last time at the small figure beside her before closing her eyes.

 

* * *

 

  
Amber woke cuddling a warm body, and for a split second, she thought the body was Shane's until she opened her eyes, suddenly remembering that she'd allowed Jas to sleep with her that night. Jas seemed to sense that Amber was awake because at once her eyes flew open and she shot up - immediately excited.  
  
"Can I help you make the chocolate chip pancakes?"  
  
"Whoa, kid, chill out," Amber said with a groan as she stretched. "Give me a couple of minutes to wake up."  
  
Although Amber's line of work required early mornings and tons of energy to get through each day, she still couldn't match the tenacious energy of a child. She lay on her back with her eyes shut, enjoying the comfort of her warm bed when she heard Jas whining impatiently, and opened her eyes to see the girl standing by the bed in her bright pink pajamas, black hair a mess.

"Alright," Amber sighed. "Let's go."  
  
After taking turns in the bathroom to pee, the two girls stood side by side and brushed their teeth.  
  
"Sleep well?" Amber asked as she rinsed her toothbrush and placed it in the rooster.  
  
_"Mmm-hmm!"_  
  
"That's good." She gave Jas a gentle pat on the head. "I'll see you in the kitchen. Don't forget to brush your hair, alright?"  
  
_"Mmm-phay!"_  
  
By the time Amber made it to the kitchen and started to pull out everything they needed to make the pancakes, Jas had rushed in after her.  
  
"I'm so excited!" she said, bouncing on the balls of her feet.  
  
"Oh yeah? Are you good at making pancakes?"  
  
"Yeah! Aunt Marnie lets me help all the time!"  
  
"Alright then, chef, come and crack this egg for me, then!"  
  
It felt natural, spending that time with Jas. They stood elbow to elbow as they mixed the batter, poured it into the pan, and flipped the pancakes - at one point attempting to do it without a spatula, breaking out into a fit of laughter when a pancake flew out of the pan and landed wet side down on the linoleum floor with a _splat_. It was official: she loved that little girl.  
  
When the pancakes were done, Amber poured them both a glass of milk and the two made their way to the living room where they sat by the coffee table, drenched their pancakes in syrup, and ate their breakfast while watching the Sunday morning cartoons. Amber was just finishing up her plate when the roar of a motorcycle sounded from outside, and a minute later, Shane walked through the door, face red and eyes watery from the cold.  
  
"Shane!" Jas jumped up from the floor and ran to him, knocking the air out of him with a quiet "oof". "I missed you!" she said, nuzzling her face in his jacket.  
  
"I was only gone for a night..." Shane smiled, patting her back. Once she'd stepped away and gone back to the table, Amber stood and gave her a smile of her own as she walked through to the kitchen and began to wash her dishes. Not long after, Shane joined her, snaking his arms around her waist from behind.  
  
"Was she good?" he murmured into her neck.  
  
"She was perfect." Amber rinsed off her plate, and after placing it in the dish drainer, twisted around and kissed him.  
  
"I missed you," he said after they pulled apart, his voice soft and eyes tender.  
  
Amber smirked. "You were _only_  gone for a _night_."  
  
"I know, but... it's getting harder to leave you."  
  
A sudden throb in her chest made Amber kiss Shane again, this time much deeper than before. In response, he pressed his body against hers - pushing her toward the counter - and threaded his fingers through her hair with one hand while the other roughly gripped her hip. She was completely lost in him until Jas came through and dumped her dishes in the sink, leaving the kitchen without so much as a backward glance - the novelty of seeing the two kiss had long worn off for her at that point.  
  
As Amber watched the girl leave, she was reminded of the innocent-yet-embarrassing question from the night before, and figured right then would be as good a time as any to discuss it. "Hey, we've gotta talk about something," she said, moving to the kitchen table and sitting down - motioning to the seat beside her.  
  
"Is... everything okay?" he asked as he lowered himself into the chair.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, it's just, uh... this is going to be kind of an awkward conversation."  
  
Shane's expression changed from one of curiosity to anxiousness.  
  
"It's nothing bad, I promise! It's just..." She groaned, shaking her head. "Fuck it. Last night, Jas asked me if you and I were going to get married."  
  
"Oh." Shane dropped his head to his hands which were clasped and resting in his lap. "Yeah, she's asked me that a couple of times."  
  
"What did you say?" she pressed, and Shane flushed.  
  
"That I didn't know."  
  
"Yeah, that's what I said too." Amber tapped her nails on the table nervously as she struggled with how to proceed.  
  
"So, uh... is that it?"  
  
"No. No, I was thinking that maybe we should... discuss it?"  
  
Amber didn't think it was possible for Shane to turn even redder, but she was proven wrong as soon as the words left her mouth.  
  
"I'm not trying to plan a wedding or anything, I just figure that since Jas is bringing it up, it's something we should talk about." She paused, taking a moment to collect herself. "I've been thinking about it, and I realized that we've never really talked about where we want this... _us_ , our relationship... to go."  
  
"Where do you want it to go?" he asked quietly.  
  
" _Fuck_ , Shane, _really_?" Amber dropped her head in her hands, blushing furiously. "I mean, I wouldn't mind it... getting married... _eventually_."  
  
Shane stayed quiet, and although she was dying to see what sort of expression he had on his face, she couldn't bring herself to look at him.  
  
"What about Jas?" he asked after a long moment had passed.  
  
"What _about_  Jas?" she responded, finally looking up. "I fucking _love_  that little girl."  
  
"I don't want you to feel obligated to take her on just because we're - "  
  
"It's not an _obligation_ , she's part of the package. I love you, and that means I love everything that comes with you. I'm _crazy_  about that kid." Amber shook her head, chuckling in disbelief. She couldn't believe that after all the time the three had spent together, he didn't see just how much Amber cared for her. "You know she asked if she could sleep with me last night?"  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Yeah. She did." Amber shrugged. "And I let her."  
  
Once again, Shane remained silent.  
  
"I know this sounds a little - well, _really_  forward, but I kind of think she could benefit from having a mother figure in her life... and I wouldn't mind, you know... filling that role," Amber added meekly. "I mean, _look_ ," she said as she held out a hand to show off the atrocious paint job Jas had done. "We fucking painted each other's _nails_  last night. I _never_  did that kind of crap with my mom, and since Jas said that was something Rachel used to do with her, I figured - "  
  
"She talked about Rachel?" Shane interrupted with a look so intense it made Amber wonder if she'd said something wrong.  
  
"Yeah, but nothing much, just the whole nail thing. Why?"  
  
Shane rubbed his hand over his stubbled chin. "... Just wondering."  
  
"You know, that's something else I wanted to talk to you about. Every time I ask you about Rachel, you never really say anything. Did you guys have a falling out or something? Before they... you know..."  
  
"No, it's not that, it's just... there's not much to tell."  
  
"Not much to tell? Jesus, you were so close to these people that they gave you their _child_ , how is there not a bigger story there? Come on, Shane, I want to know about her! I want to know how you guys got along, what she was like, _everything_." She reached over to grab his hand, smiling.  
  
"Why, so you can have an easier time playing mom?" Shane's words came out harsh, like an icy slap - wiping the smile right off her face. "Oh, god. I didn't mean that."  
  
After a short, shocked silence, tears unwillingly sprang into Amber's eyes, blurring her vision, and Shane lurched forward - grabbing her head in his hands. "Fuck, Amber, I really didn't mean that!" he half-whispered. She pulled her hands away - the tears welling over and rolling down her cheeks as she stared at him, completely wounded by his words. Shane continued to cradle her face, muttering apology after apology, his voice sounding tighter with each syllable he spoke.  
  
Amber stood abruptly and made a beeline to her bedroom, hoping Jas was too entranced in whatever was on TV to notice her tear-stained cheeks. After shutting the door behind her, she sat at the foot of her bed and curled into herself, absolutely humiliated. Shane had been right on her heels, however, and after opening and shutting the door once more, rushed over to her - dropping to his knees - and grabbed her gently by the shoulders.  
  
"Amber, _please_ , look at me," he begged.  
  
She lifted her head. Shane's brows were furrowed, tears of his own beginning to form in his eyes. "I didn't mean what I said, I _swear_."  
  
"Then why did you say it?"  
  
"I - I don't know," he stammered desperately. "I just - I - it was stupid, I'm so _fucking_  stupid!"  
  
"Do you... not want me to be there for her?"  
  
"I do!" he insisted, his hands sliding down her shoulders - gripping her arms instead.  
  
"Then is it because I asked you about Rachel again?"  
  
Shane dropped his gaze, causing Amber to scoff incredulously. "I don't get it. You've told me _so much_  about Eric, someone I figured you'd have a really hard time talking about, but every time I ask you about Rachel, you don't say _shit_  - and then suddenly you come at me with _that_?"  
  
"I didn't mean it..."  
  
"What are you going to do when _Jas_  starts asking questions? Asking what her mom was like? Are you going to keep that shit from _her_?"  
  
"No, I - "  
  
"Then what the hell is the problem?"  
  
"I was fucking in love with her, okay?!" he spat out, then froze - a look of complete horror washing over his face.  
  
"W... _what_?"  
  
Shane's hands fell into his lap as he slumped down, defeated. "I was... in love with Rachel."  
  
"Oh my god," Amber breathed, her head swimming. " _Oh my god_ , that's... _Jesus_. For how long?"  
  
"...Years."  
  
"And now?"  
  
"No," he said, lifting his head - his pulse throbbing heavily in his neck. "Not since I got to know you."  
  
Amber could do nothing but stare at him as she rode through a rocky wave of emotions. First, there was anger. She was _infuriated_  that he'd hidden something as significant as that, especially after promising he would no longer keep anything from her. Then, it was fear. She was terrified that despite his protestation, he still held romantic feelings for Rachel and that she was nothing but an attempt at replacing a woman who was now dead. Finally, the strongest emotion of them all - pity. As she looked down, she hardly recognized the person before her. Despondent, almost a soulless husk of the man who had been looking at her so tenderly not even half an hour ago. She tried to imagine how terrible it must have been for him to lose not only his best friend but the person he loved at the same time - and on top of that, to suddenly be given custody of their child? That would be enough to drive _anyone_  to a guilty silence... or even to drink.  
  
"Tell me about her," Amber said quietly, moving off the bed to sit on the floor beside him.  
  
"Amber..."  
  
"I want to know." She reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Please."  
  
The tears that had been stubbornly lying dormant in his eyes finally fell as he began to speak. "She, uh... she was a total fucking nerd. Really into math and science and shit. Ended up getting a paid scholarship to Woodcreek." His eyes flashed up to hers. "You said you went there, right?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"You might have seen her."  
  
"Maybe. What did she major in?"  
  
"She was working on getting a degree in engineering but got pregnant with Jas a couple of years in, so she dropped out. Said she didn't want to split her attention between the two. She was going to go back when Jas started kindergarten, but by the time that happened, she'd been working as a tutor for middle school kids for a few years and had fallen in love with it, so she just... didn't go back."  
  
Amber gave his hand another squeeze. "Tell me more. And start at the beginning."  
  
Shane wasn't able to talk for very long before Jas burst into the room, curious as to what the two adults were up to, so Amber postponed the discussion for later that night - inviting Shane back over after putting Jas to bed at the ranch. At first, it was hard for him to speak, but things became easier when Amber brought him into the bedroom and shut off the lights, allowing him to talk - and cry - unseen.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" she asked him after he'd finished.  
  
"I don't know, I guess I was just afraid you wouldn't understand. That you'd think I was still in love with her and just... leave me. I still kind of think you might."  
  
"Well I won't," Amber said firmly. "I'm not going _anywhere_."

 

* * *

 

  
Since there was no work to be done in the winter except coop-cleaning and egg collecting, there was no need for a 6 am alarm. That didn't stop Amber's body - which had become a clock all on its own - from waking her up while the sky was still dark, however. Usually, she allowed herself a bit of extra sleep, knowing that the chickens would survive a couple of hours without head pats and back scratches - but as she turned to cradle her body against Shane's, she noticed he wasn't there and sighed.  
  
_Probably in the bathroom_ , she thought as she got out of bed and sluggishly made her way to the next room over, her bladder feeling like it was going to burst. Shane wasn't there either, and once she'd completed her business, went on a search to find him and drag him back to bed for a few minutes of warm cuddling before it was time for him to get ready for work.  
  
The house was empty, and Amber was on the brink of panicking when she noticed both his coat and his shoes were missing from the space by the front door. She rushed to it - flinging it open and expecting, for some reason, to see him far off in the distance heading toward the ranch, but instead saw him sitting on the bottom step of the porch stairs, a small basket of eggs beside him. He had turned around at the sound of the creaking door and looked at her with a lopsided smile.  
  
"You're gonna get cold if you come out in that."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Just woke up and decided to give the girls a visit. It's been a while."  
  
"How was it?"  
  
"Good. I think Pip's pissed at me, though - she wouldn't come near me."  
  
Amber let out a quiet snort, then nodded toward the eggs. "So what are you still doing out here?"  
  
"I don't know," he sighed. "Just... decided to sit out here for a while, I guess."  
  
Amber shivered hard at a gust of frigid wind blasting her bare legs and quickly retreated into the house. She threw on some proper clothes and her boots before stepping back outside, joining him on the stairs. The sky directly above them was a deep, midnight blue - fading shade by shade into an ombré of cerulean and tangerine - the first bit of sunlight peeking over the horizon.  
  
"It's funny," Shane said after a long moment of silence. "I've been alive for almost thirty years and have never watched the sun rise... or set."  
  
"Me either," she said quietly, eliciting a skeptical glance from Shane. " _Really!_  I've been outside during them countless times, sure, but I've never just... _sat there_  and took it all in. First time for everything, I guess."  
  
Their warm breath came out in icy puffs as they watched the sun creep slowly into the heavens, far past the fields and through the naked oak trees lining the eastern edge of the farm. Amber leaned her head against Shane's shoulder and at once he grabbed her hand - lacing his fingers between hers.  
  
"I don't want to go to my meetings anymore."  
  
"What?" Amber lifted her head to look at him. " _Why_?"  
  
Shane squeezed her hand. "I just... they're not for me. I thought maybe they'd help with everything, but they really don't. The whole time I'm there, I just feel guilty for not being as much of a train wreck as everyone else, and I'm sick of feeling guilty all the time. Fucking sick of it."  
  
"Shane..."  
  
"For as long as I can remember, I've felt a... I don't know, a _crushing_  weight on me. Seeing my mom struggle with keeping the lights on or food in the house, being in love with Rachel when Eric was so happy with her, taking up space in Marnie's house, doing absolutely _nothing_  with my life... it just keeps building up more and more. Sometimes I can't help but think that everything would have been better for everyone if I had never existed." He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand even further. "I think... maybe I _do_  need help. _Actual_  help. Was thinking about maybe finding a cheap counselor or something."  
  
Shane had a vice grip on her hand now, but it was nothing compared to the pain Amber felt in her chest.  
  
"I still have that list," she offered weakly.  
  
"I can't afford any of them."  
  
"I told you I'd pay for it."  
  
"And I told you they're too expensive."  
  
"And I told _you_  that money's not an issue."  
  
"Look, I know you own your own farm and everything, but there's no way you can afford to - "  
  
"This farm isn't all my grandpa left me," Amber said, cutting Shane off. "He also left me money."  
  
"Wh - "  
  
" _A lot_  of it. Enough to live off of comfortably for the rest of our lives, but I don't want to do that. I never have. After seeing what money and greed did to my parents, I wanted to distance myself from it as much as possible. I used some of it to go to college, but that's about it. The rest was all _me_. _My_  hard work. For _years_ , it's just been sitting there as a sort of safety net of sorts. If I'm going to use it for anything, I want to use it on you."  
  
The grip on Amber's hand loosened. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"  
  
"How snobby would it be if I just went around talking about how much money I have? Besides, as I said, I never really touch it. Most of the time I forget it's even there."  
  
"How did your grandpa make so much as a _farmer_  in... _this_  shit hole?"  
  
"He used to be the president of one of Zuzu City's largest investment companies - moved here when he got older. I guess he got sick of the whole rat race thing. My dad's the vice-president of that company now."  
  
"Jesus," Shane sighed. "Should've known something was up when you said you went to Woodcreek."  
  
"What, you don't think I'm smart enough to get a scholarship?"  
  
"No, I didn't say that, I - "  
  
"I'm just messing with you," she said with a smile, nudging him.  
  
By then, the sun had just risen above the treetops - a small, warm, orange orb held aloft in the frosty winter sky. Tiny flecks of snow began to drift down from above, lightly dusting the ground before them - the first snowfall of the season.  
  
"So what do you say?" Amber said softly, all playfulness gone.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Will you let me do that for you?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, wiping a snowflake from her cheek. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more to go. :(


	21. The Break of Dawn

It was one thing for Shane to admit to _himself_ , let alone to Amber that he needed professional help with his mental health, but it was a completely different thing for him to actually bring himself to go through with seeking it out. Sitting in the dreary JojaMart break room, overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy as he stared helplessly down at a scrap of paper on the table, Shane tapped his screen slowly - putting in the number of the cheapest doctor on the list - only getting as far as three digits before backing out and slumping low in his chair, defeated. Making and receiving phone calls to strangers always brought out the worst of his anxiety, but it absolutely didn't help that in the forefront of his mind was the fucking bombshell Amber had dropped on him earlier that morning.  
  
_"Enough to live off of comfortably for the rest of our lives,"_ she said casually, and just like it had at that moment, his brain briefly short-circuited. Considering her grandfather had left her an entire _farm_ , he figured that naturally, _some_  money would have went along with it - assuming it had been part of the reason as to why she was able to attend the best college in the entire Ferngill Republic. Never did he imagine - or expect - anything like... that. Aside from the occasional luxuries, Amber lived a rather frugal life - cooking nearly everything from scratch, working the farm by hand to save on mechanical equipment, drying her clothes on a line during the summer, heating her house with the fireplace in the winter and so on. Hearing that she was well off nearly shook him to the core, and while he wasn't at all comfortable with the idea, he did his best to hide his surprise and graciously accepted her offer - much good it was doing now when he couldn't even press the buttons on the  _fucking_  phone.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he sat up straight and put in the numbers once more, and after pressing the call button, he raised the phone to his ear - listening anxiously as it rang.  
  
And rang.  
  
And rang.  
  
And rang.  
  
Twelve agonizing rings later, Shane hung up - slightly relieved at the lack of an answer, but noted with great discomfort the severe dryness of his mouth. _I'm so fucking pathetic_ , he thought as he took a swig of water from the plastic bottle in front of him with one hand and shoved the list into his back pocket with the other.  
  
After slogging through the work day, Shane drove home slowly over the icy roads and stepped through the front door of the ranch to find his goddaughter darting from the kitchen to the living room, her bare feet slapping heavily on the wooden floor.  
  
"No running in the house!" he called out sharply as he shrugged his jacket off and hung it up on the coat rack. At his words, Jas skidded to a stop and retreated back into the entryway where she pulled him into a hug.  
  
"Hey, kiddo," he said affectionately, looking down at her.  
  
Arms still wrapped around him, Jas tilted her head up to meet his gaze. "Can you come finish The Hunt with me?" she asked sweetly. "Aunt Marnie's still cooking dinner, so she can't."  
  
"As long as you go put some socks on," Shane said, turning her away from him and giving her butt a soft kick toward her bedroom. With a giggle, Jas rushed off and met him in the living room a minute later with fuzzy sock-covered feet and cuddled him - her bony elbow digging into his side as she mashed the play button on the remote to resume the movie.  
  
It was one he had seen several times already - the story of a beautiful princess who gets abducted by a band of thieves looking for ransom, and after managing to escape the wagon in which she was held captive, ends up lost in the forest where she's happened upon by a young hunter who decides to help the princess find her way back home. Nearly a week later, as the hunter is off chasing a rabbit for their breakfast, the princess is found by several royal guards who had been scouring the forest in search of her and immediately takes her home, leaving the hunter behind. A party is then held at the castle in celebration of the princess's safe return, and as she tells the story of the brave hunter who protected her and fought off the thieves that trailed them, she sees that among the crowd, he is there - listening, and pushes through the people to throw her arms about his neck.  
  
_"Oh, Rowan!"_ she cries. _"I did not think I would ever see you again!"_  
  
_"When I came back and saw you riding away with the guards, I knew I couldn't just let you go,"_ he responds, cradling her face desperately. _"I had to come after you. I love you!"_  
  
_"I love you too!"_  
  
The hunter then glances at the king, who looks down upon the two softly from his throne.  
  
_"If your father will allow me, I'd like to take your hand in marriage."_  
  
The king nods, and with that the hunter gets down on one knee.  
  
_"Will you marry me?"_  
  
_"Yes!"_  
  
Shane's stomach dropped as the sappy scene reminded him of the abandoned topic of discussion from the day before. When Amber told him she was up to getting married to him some day, his heart did a sudden and forceful flip in his chest while his brain was completely unable to comprehend what he was hearing. The thought _had_  flashed through his mind a time or two - a future where he, Amber, and Jas lived just like The Hunt and every other fairy tale like it, "happily ever after", but things in Shane's life tended not to end up well... so he never really expected anything to come of it. Hearing it straight from her mouth, though, _that_  was confirmation enough that maybe this time things would be different. But then he had to go and ruin it by being a goddamned asshole.  
  
He was _so_  desperate to avoid talking about Rachel that he immediately went on the defensive and lashed out - saying the first thing that came to mind - and as usual, it _had_ to be something stupid and hurtful, even if he didn't mean a word of it. God, he'd give _anything_  to take those words back - to erase the pained expression on her face that had burned itself into his memory like a brand.  
  
Even though she didn't seem to be angry over his words and took his confession about Rachel in stride, he was concerned that it might have soured her opinion of him, and that despite their tender moments earlier that morning, they had started on the decline toward the end of their relationship. With that worry in mind, there was no way he could bring it up - to give her his answer - and risk rejection. He had to try and feel her out, to make sure things were really okay without outright asking before proceeding to... whatever their next step was.  
  
While he was lost in his thoughts, the movie ended - and as the credits started to roll, Marnie called the two for dinner. Shane sat at the kitchen table with a feeling of burning embers in the pit of his stomach and poked at his food for just a few minutes before putting his plate in the fridge and excusing himself to his bedroom where he pulled off his uniform and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt. Since Shane started driving to and from work due to the blistering cold weather, his daily phone conversations with Amber had begun to take place after dinner. As he picked up the phone to call her, however, he hesitated - afraid that over the course of the day she had come to her senses and realized that Shane was _not_  the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with - and that she would tell him so.  
  
For the second time that day, though, he pushed through his fears and called her - the burning sensation in his stomach diminishing slightly the instant he heard her voice. After talking about their days, Amber began to chatter excitedly about the goings on in the trashy reality television show she was currently into while Shane just listened, and during a lull in the conversation, decided to test the waters between them.  
  
"Are you... happy with me?" he asked quietly.  
  
There was a brief silence in which Shane felt the burning return.  
  
"Why would you even ask that?" Amber said, sounding mildly agitated. "Of _course_  I am."  
  
"Sorry. I just... wanted to make sure."  
  
"It's... fine," Amber said softly. "But the next time you ask me something stupid like that, I'll take Mr. Turnip Head from you and won't give him back until you've _earned_  him, okay?"  
  
A smile flickered across Shane's face. "Okay."  
  
Amber began to speak again, but suddenly cut herself off. "Abby's calling me," she groaned. "She's been trying to get me to explore that old abandoned coal mine with her, but I keep telling her it's a terrible idea."  
  
"Do I need to let you go?"  
  
"Yeah, probably. She'll just keep calling me otherwise," she sighed. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I love you."  
  
Shane bit his lip, his heart thudding like it always did at those three little words. "Love you too," he said, and hung up.  
  
Although he was pleased that their talk had went well enough, there was still an uneasy feeling festering deep within. When he asked if she was happy with him, she hesitated. Why? Was it because she was merely taken aback, or was it because she needed a moment to come up with an answer? Did it really matter? After all, she said she _was_  happy with him... wasn't that enough?

 

* * *

 

  
The next day at work, a few hours before the end of his shift, Shane was busy stocking cans of diced tomatoes when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching him and braced himself - expecting it to be the irritating customer that came in twice a week to shop and complain to him about the prices - as if _he_  were the one in control of such things.  
  
"Excuse me," the person said.  
  
By the voice alone, he could tell that it _wasn't_  that dreaded customer, so with a sense of relief, he turned - almost with a smile - to face them, only to see that it was Robin. Sebastian's mother. Shane suspected she didn't particularly like him due to the fact that nearly every time he went over to visit Sebastian, she never gave him much more than a polite, tight-lipped "hello", so naturally, he wondered why she was standing there before him. She shopped there frequently, after all... _surely_  she knew where everything was located.  
  
"Can I help you?" he asked, putting himself fully into customer-service mode.  
  
Robin eyed him momentarily before speaking. "I don't know if you've heard yet, but just a bit ago, Sebastian got news from ZCP that they would be taking him on, so this evening I will be throwing a surprise party at our house. Since you're friends with him, and I was here anyway to shop, I was wondering if you were interested in going."  
  
Shane nodded affirmatively. "Do I... need to bring anything?"  
  
"Just yourself," she said. "I just sent Sebastian to the city to pick something up for my husband, so he should be coming back around 6:00. You'll need to be at our house before then."  
  
Shane fought back a grimace - unsure if he would be able to make it in time. After clocking out at 5 o'clock on the dot, he would still have to drive home, get changed, pick up Amber (who he assumed was also invited), and drive carefully up into the mountains where Sebastian and his family lived. Still, he nodded once more. Satisfied, Robin nodded in return and gave him another one of her tight-lipped smiles as she left the aisle to resume her shopping.

 

* * *

 

  
The light dusting of snow the day before had been nothing more than that, but as Shane and Amber drove through the mountain road to Sebastian's house later that evening, it began to snow again - this time in full force, causing Shane to have to slow down even further as he wasn't able to see more than a few feet in front of the truck.  
  
"Gonna have a hard time driving back," Amber said.  
  
Shane nodded silently.  
  
"Maybe if we're lucky, the roads will be so bad that you'll have to stop at my place and stay trapped there with me," she said with a nudge.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
As he peered through the windshield, the wiper blades flicking off fat flakes, he felt Amber place her hand on his thigh.  
  
"Hey, you okay?" she asked.  
  
_Not really_ , he thought. As usual, the work day had sucked, the roads were terrible, his best friend would be leaving at any time, and he _still_  was concerned that Amber was keeping up a charade and would drop him at any moment. Old Shane would have dealt with it all by diving right into a carton of beers, but new Shane had to just... deal with it. And it fucking sucked.  
  
"I'm fine," he said. "Just focusing on the road."  
  
Per Robin's instructions, they pulled the truck behind the house so Sebastian wouldn't see them, walked carefully on the salted path up to the front door and knocked. Robin ushered them in, where they stepped onto a towel and removed their shoes - giving them to Robin who placed them behind the counter before leading them downstairs to Sebastian's bedroom. Abigail, Sam, and Maru, Sebastian's half-sister were already there waiting - surrounded by a multitude of helium-filled foil balloons printed with the word "congratulations" in various fonts and colors. An array of snacks, soda, and alcohol were set on the table in the middle of the room along with a card and gift wrapped in newspaper which Shane could only assume came from Robin.  
  
"He should be here in just a bit, so when he shows up, just shout 'surprise!'" Robin said excitedly as she perched on the couch by the door.  
  
Shane and Amber moved toward the table where Sam and Abigail sat - the four mumbling quietly among themselves until they heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs and fell into a hush - turning their heads to the door as they waited for it to open. The door had only been cracked when Robin called out _"Surprise!"_ causing the rest of the room to follow suit, giving a delayed, halfhearted "surprise" of their own. Robin looked back at the four sadly, then turned toward her son who stood stunned in the doorway.  
  
"Uh... what is this?"  
  
"A party!" Robin said, leaping off the couch and taking Sebastian in her arms before giving him a kiss on the cheek, causing him to flush. "To celebrate your new job!"  
  
"Mom..."  
  
Robin pointed toward the table and pulled him further into the room. "There's some food and drinks right here, and I've got a stock pot full of pumpkin soup cooking which I'll be bringing down for you all once it's done." With a starry-eyed gaze, she lifted a hand to cup his cheek. "I'm so proud of you," she said softly, and after another kiss, left the room.  
  
"That was... sweet," Amber said.  
  
Sebastian gave a quiet groan - his face crimson. "I should have known she'd do something like this."  
  
"Mom's just happy that you're finally going to be with an actual company instead of being stuck here doing freelance," Maru said coolly from the couch.  
  
"Because that's such a big fucking surprise, right?"  
  
"I didn't say that - "  
  
"Why are you even here?" Sebastian questioned spitefully. "Don't you have a radio to fix or some shit?"  
  
For several long moments, the room sat in an awkward silence before being suddenly broken by a loud crunching sound. Everyone turned to face Sam who was flipping through some old Solarian Chronicles cards while digging into a bowl of ruffled potato chips, completely oblivious to what had just occurred.  
  
"Dude, I can see why you dropped this scenario," Sam said without looking up. "It sucked."  
  
"I'm going to bed," Maru mumbled. "Dr. Harvey wants me to go in early tomorrow." Her eyes flashed up toward Sebastian as she gave him a sad smile. "Congrats, Seb," she said, and headed upstairs.  
  
Once she was out of earshot, Abigail slowly turned to the group with a conspiratorial grin. "They have _got_  to be fucking."  
  
Sebastian batted a balloon away from him as his face twisted in disgust. "I don't want to hear that shit, Abs."  
  
"I'm just saying!" Abigail said, raising her hands defensively.  
  
While Sam continued to look through Sebastian's old Solarian Chronicles cards, Abigail, Amber, and Sebastian himself moved toward the stack of graphic novels by the bed - discussing their favorites until Robin came through the door carrying a lidded pot of pumpkin soup with six bowls and six spoons balanced on top. After setting it down on the center of the table and moving the dishes off to the side, Robin glanced about the room.  
  
"Where's Maru?"  
  
"She went to bed," Sebastian said flatly.  
  
"Oh. Well, I'll just take this then," she said, filling one of the bowls up with soup and heading toward the door. "Have fun!" she called out. "And open your gift!"  
  
As everyone sat at the table to eat, Shane couldn't help but notice that there was one thing in front of him that remained untouched, and it was clear to him that everyone was avoiding it for his sake - maneuvering around the bottles as if they weren't even there. He wasn't sure if he felt touched or embarrassed. Perhaps a little of both. A short time later, he found himself in dire need of fresh air due to the stuffiness of the basement, so after excusing himself, he stepped upstairs and out the front door - pleased to see that the snowfall had slowed almost to a stop. He headed right out of the house toward the fence bordering the patio and leaned against it as he took several deep breaths, enjoying the crisp air.  
  
He'd only been outside a minute when Sebastian came out as well, and without a word, lit himself a cigarette before lighting another and handing it off to Shane - a ritual they had performed for months now. Shane took a drag and exhaled slowly, the smoke coming out in a thick white puff.  
  
"Sorry about the booze in there," Sebastian said. "If my mom knew you were recovering, she wouldn't have bought any."  
  
"It's alright," Shane said, shrugging. "Just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean you guys can't. I'll live." Shane flicked his ashes into the snow. "Anyway, congrats on the job. When do you go in?"  
  
"First day is next Monday. They said I could work from home until I get an apartment in the city so I don't have to commute. I think I'll be here another month or so." Sebastian pinched the cigarette tightly as he took another puff. "Demetrius overheard me talking to my mom about it and offered to put a down payment on an apartment for me," he said, shaking his head.  
  
"That's surprisingly generous of him."  
  
Sebastian chuckled dryly. "He just wants to get rid of me as soon as he can. Been trying ever since I graduated high school. Wants to turn my room into a workshop for Maru."  
  
"Would Robin actually allow that?"  
  
" _Fuck_ , no. She acts all sweet with him, but she'd lose her fucking mind if he ever tried to get rid of my shit. Anyway, I'm not going to take his charity after he's been so dismissive of me for my entire life. _Fuck_  that guy."  
  
Shane smiled crookedly as he brought the cigarette up to his lips.  
  
"You gonna stop smoking when I leave?" Sebastian questioned.  
  
A small puff of air escaped through Shane's nostrils as he chuckled. "Shit, probably." He was half joking, but perhaps it would be for the best before it turned into a habit once again. He didn't want to set a bad example for Jas, and Amber herself said she didn't want him to do it any more than he already did, so with a sigh, he took one more puff and snubbed the cigarette out on the fence behind him.  
  
"I was just fucking with you."  
  
"I know... but I should probably stop anyway. It was stupid to start again in the first place."  
  
"It was kind of my fault."  
  
" _I'm_  the one who asked you for one."  
  
"True," Sebastian said, nodding. "Hey, I was thinking, when I _do_  move to the city, we should go to Bar None after your meetings, play some pool."  
  
"I, uh... decided to stop going to those."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"They did fuck all to help. Most of the time I left those things, I felt like swinging by a gas station and picking up a case anyway."  
  
"Shit..." Sebastian dropped his cigarette to the ground and buried it in the snow with his foot. "So what are you going to do instead?"  
  
"...Therapy," Shane said shamefully, although he wasn't entirely sure why. This was his best friend, after all - they'd discussed all sorts of embarrassing shit, and Sebastian never judged.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with that."  
  
"I know, just... kind of nervous about it is all. But I'm still up to play. It'd be nice to go against someone who can actually give me a challenge."  
  
"Whatever, man," Sebastian said with a smirk. "I'm going in. It's fucking freezing out here."

 

* * *

 

  
That Saturday, while Jas played in the snow outside, Amber sat at her kitchen table with a map of the farm and some plans Robin had drawn up for the new coop in front of her. Shane had been pouring himself a cup of coffee when Amber twisted around in her chair to face him, holding up the map.  
  
"So I was thinking I'd run a dirt path right here," Amber said, trailing her finger from the farmhouse to the area where the new coop would be built. "And then I'd use the old coop just as a storage building for the new one."  
  
"Sounds good," Shane said, and took a sip.  
  
Amber looked at the map once again in concentration while Shane stood at the kitchen window, watching as Jas started to roll up some snow into a giant ball.  
  
"You're still planning on working for me, right?" Amber asked.  
  
Shane nodded. Of _course_  he was - there was only so much more he could take of the hellhole that was JojaMart.  
  
"Good, because I have also been thinking about expanding the farm even more. I want to clear out some land when the ground thaws but is still too cold to plant any seeds. Of course that will mean more sprinklers, and _that_  combined with the cost of the coop, the chickens, the feed, fertilizer and seeds means it will use up almost all of my savings..." Amber trailed off. "But as soon the first spring crops are ready to harvest, we'll start raking in the cash. You better get ready for a lot of hard work," Amber said with a devilish grin, and Shane smiled in return. "Of course you'll be able to have time off for your appointments."  
  
Shane's smile faltered.  
  
"Were you ever able to get a hold of anyone? I know you must not have a lot of time when you're at work."  
  
"No," Shane said, and it was the truth. He had given a few nervous calls during his lunch break, but no one ever answered as they were most likely also at lunch, and by the time he got off work, it was past office hours so there was no luck there, either. He knew he could have simply left a message, but that was even more nerve-wracking to him than just straight out talking to the person.  
  
"I can do it for you."  
  
Shane shifted uncomfortably. "It's fine."  
  
"I have more free time than you," she said. "Besides, it'd be better to get something set up now so maybe you can get a session in before the holiday instead of waiting until you're working _here_ , right?"  
  
"Right," Shane said, and turned his head once more to look out of the window where Jas was had started to stack a second ball of snow on top of the first.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Shane looked back.  
  
"I know you're probably uncomfortable with me paying for it, but like I said, it's all just sitting there... and you're worth it to me."  
  
He nodded, and with that, Amber continued to talk about her plans with the farm until Jas popped her head in the front door and called out to them.  
  
"I made a snowman! Come look!"  
  
"Just a second!" Amber shouted, and after scribbling something down, she shot a quick smile at Shane and headed to the living room where she put on her coat and boots before joining Jas in the front yard. Through the glass he heard her sounds of admiration toward the wonky-looking snowman, and saw her reach into a nearby tree to break off a few branches - sticking a smaller one into the middle of its face as a nose. Jas jammed another one into the side of the snowman a little too hard, causing it to topple over and crumble, leading her to shriek in horror. After comforting her, Amber began to help her make another one.  
  
Watching them like that never failed to make Shane's spirits soar. Amber was such a natural with her - he always considered himself to be lucky that she was not only fine with the fact that he had a child, but also that she got along with her so damn well. He would _gladly_  spend the rest of his life with her... but would she? He told himself he would feel her out before giving her his answer, and the fact that she was still eagerly having sex with him and making plans for their future pretty much told him all he needed to know, but he still couldn't get rid of the lingering feelings of doubt. Before he knew it, he had grabbed his phone and dialed the one person he thought could possibly snap him out of it.  
  
"Shane?" his aunt questioned after picking up the phone. "It's not like you to call me when you're at the farm. Is everything alright?"  
  
"Can... I talk to you about something?"  
  
"Sure..."  
  
"About a week ago, Amber said that we should talk about where we wanted our relationship to go." Shane said, and fell silent as he felt a heat rise up from his neck to his face.  
  
"...Yes?"  
  
Taking a deep breath, he continued. "She, uh... she said that she wouldn't mind getting married in the future."  
  
_"Oh my,"_ Marnie said - the smile in her voice as clear as day. "Is that something you're interested in?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"So what's the problem?"  
  
"After that, she started talking about how she'd like to be there for Jas, and then asked about Rachel, and I - I ended up saying something pretty fucked up."  
  
"What - "  
  
"I don't really wanna say."  
  
"Alright, well... did you apologize?"  
  
"I did. _So much_ , and she doesn't seem upset, but I'm still afraid I really screwed things up somehow."  
  
Marnie gave a quiet chuckle. "I think you're just looking for problems where there are none. I know how hard things have been on you in the past, but Shane, they're so much better now. You can see that, right?"  
  
"...Yeah."  
  
"If you apologized, and things seem okay, then if I were you, I'd just take it. Amber is good for you, and I would _love_  to have her as a part of the family. When you two are ready, that is," she added on quickly.  
  
"I don't even know what I'm supposed to do when that time comes. I don't have anything to offer her."  
  
"You don't _have_  to offer her anything besides yourself, hon. Just be there for her. Take care of her. Love her."  
  
After hanging up with his aunt, he watched as Amber and Jas put the finishing touches on their new snowman - giving each other a high-five in celebration - and decided to join them. At his appearance, Jas excitedly suggested a snowball fight - boys against girls. Seeing as he was the only male around, Shane started to object, but his protestations were cut short when he received a snowball to the stomach and looked over to see Amber's maniacal grin - her eyes flashing fiercely. Jas squealed and gathered up a ball herself, hitting him in the thigh. The instant Shane started to craft a snowball of his own, Amber dashed through the snow to take refuge behind the shed while Jas stood out in the open, building up a stockpile. He tossed one at his goddaughter, hitting her in the shoulder, then raced after Amber, following her footsteps around the shed but seeing no sign of her personally until he felt a freezing cold wetness hit him in the back of the head and turned to see her poised with another one. Together, she and Jas laid into him while he bent down, barely managing to lob off a couple of his own.  
  
The sound of laughter split the winter air, and in that moment, Shane was happier than he had ever been - even if his hands were freezing and his hair was wet from being pelted with snow. While Jas stood aside to make another pile of snowballs, Shane strode over to Amber who tossed another one right at him - hitting him square in the chest - and pulled her into a warm, deep kiss.  
  
"What was that about?" Amber asked when he finally pulled away.  
  
"I wanna marry you," he breathed.  
  
Amber's jaw dropped slightly. "W-what?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
\--"What's going on?" Jas asked.  
  
"Is this... a proposal?"  
  
"No," he said honestly. "There's a lot I feel like I need to work through before I do, but I just wanted you to know that I want to. Some day. I just... I hope I didn't fuck it up with everything I said the other day. You know, about you... playing mom."  
  
"You didn't!" Amber exclaimed. "I understand."  
  
\--"Are we done playing?"  
  
"Because I really didn't mean it."  
  
Amber moved in close and buried her face in his neck. "I know."  
  
As he felt Amber's arms wind tightly around his waist, Shane smiled - and for the very first time, the hole he had felt trapped in for so long suddenly didn't seem so hard to climb out of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience! Epilogue will be posted tomorrow!


	22. Epilogue

**EARLY SUMMER**  
  
Having just finished clearing the coop of soiled bedding, Shane wiped the sweat from his brow with a rag, and after shoving it in his pocket, headed out toward the western part of the farm where he dumped the last barrowful of hay onto the burn pile before making his way back to give the nesting boxes and coop floor a layer of clean bedding. As he was cutting the twine on one of the hay bales, he heard the sound of squeaking hinges and looked up to see Amber's flushed face as she poked her upper body through the crack in the door.  
  
"You almost done here?"  
  
Shane nodded. "Why, you need help with something?"  
  
"Just saw a _fucking_  mouse in the kitchen, so I need you to go to Chesterfield and get me some snap traps, poison bait, glue traps, and whatever else they have. I want to nip this in the bud before it becomes a huge problem. I'd go myself, but I have to meet with Pierre in a few hours, and I want to get as much work done as possible before then."  
  
"Sure, I can do that."  
  
"I know you can, it's your _job_ ," Amber said with a wink, then smiled. "Thanks. Card's in my purse, you can just take that."  
  
"Need anything else?"  
  
"I don't think so. Nothing I can't get at Pierre's anyway." With another smile, Amber gave the inside wall of the coop a couple pats and left.  
  
Once Shane had finished putting the fresh hay down, he went inside, changed his shirt, grabbed Amber's card, and walked toward the truck that Amber had purchased as an early Winter Star gift to herself - a modest, white pickup with 4-wheel drive, an extended cab, and a long bed. Since Stardew Valley wasn't particularly riddled with crime, Amber kept the key to the truck on the dashboard which is where Shane found it before starting up the engine and driving past the fields toward the highway.  
  
Driving through the countryside and other various farmland, his thoughts drifted to when he first started to work for Amber. A few weeks before the turning of the season, he finally got fed up with Morris when he was forced to work a double shift - finding out when he got his check that he hadn't even been compensated for the extra time. It could have honestly just been an oversight, but at that point he'd had enough, so the next day he came in with every set of the JojaMart uniform he owned and dropped them off at the front desk, simply saying "I quit" before turning right around and walking out through the glass doors for the very last time. Amber stood leaning against the truck - a stupidly huge smile on her face - and upon seeing him empty-handed, leaped into his arms to plant the roughest kiss he'd ever received on his lips. Not but a split second later, Morris came storming out, demanding an explanation, but Shane and Amber paid him no mind. Instead, they got into the truck and drove off - leaving him behind to fume. After that, Shane was officially an employee of Harris Farm, even though there was technically nothing he could do until the weather warmed up some.  
  
As soon as he _was_  able to start work, Shane quickly learned that while farming itself held a wide variety of challenges all on its own, he still found it _much_  more satisfying than stocking shelves, dealing with irate customers, and tiptoeing around a tyrannical boss. Being able to fulfill his lifelong dream of raising chickens gave him yet another reason to look forward to each day, and seeing the bits of green poking out of the earth from the seeds he helped plant made him feel like he was finally making something of his life. Those things combined with the therapy sessions he'd been attending had him feeling better than he'd felt in years. There were times when the darkness crept back in and told him he didn't deserve such happiness, but instead of wallowing in his own self-hatred and self-pity like he used to do in the past, he tried taking the advice of his therapist, Dr. Hernandez, and fought back - forcing the voice inside to speak positively. Most of the time the exercise felt ridiculous, but he couldn't deny the results.  
  
Shane's thoughts dwindled as he entered the city limits of Chesterfield, the home of the second-largest liquor store in a 50-mile radius. Before Amber came into his life, he would have stopped in there and shopped like a child let loose in a candy shop, no question, but now he gave it nothing more than a passing glance - as if it were just any other building. He wasn't sure if it was another result of the therapy, the fact that he no longer had a job he hated, the solid support system surrounding him, or a combination of all three, but he no longer felt the need to drown himself and his emotions in alcohol - so it was with relative ease that he continued past the liquor store to the farm supply shop further down the road.  
  
When he made it back to Stardew Valley a little over an hour later with the traps and bait, Shane pulled onto the farm to see Amber in the middle of the field, still yanking weeds out of the ground and tossing them into her trusty old paint bucket. Out of all the ways he saw her, his favorite was when she was working. There was something about seeing her in her element - hard at work on the farm - that made him feel an overwhelming sense of admiration, much like the time he saw her over a year ago tossing hay bales out of the truck like they weighed nothing. She may have just been pulling weeds at that moment, but it still didn't change the fact that he knew he wanted to see her like that every day for the rest of his life.  
  
Tucked away in his wallet sat a ring that he purchased on a trip the two took to Zuzu City to go gift shopping in preparation for the Feast of the Winter Star. They were browsing a novelty candle shop in search of a gift for Marnie when Shane excused himself to go to the bathroom, but instead ended up slipping into the jewelry store next door to purchase the best ring he could afford - a thin silver band beset with a small sapphire. It wasn't really anything extravagant, but knowing her, he had a feeling she wouldn't mind. Shane pulled out his wallet and took the ring from its hiding place - if any time was perfect, it would be then. He still didn't think he was worthy of her, but he was working on it. Besides, his aunt said all he needed to give her was his love, so if that was all he could offer, then that's what he would give. Walking up to her, his heart pounded heavily as he slid the wallet into his back pocket and clenched the ring in his clammy fist. Amber knelt below him in the soil, nodding along to music as she ripped yet another stubborn weed out of the ground. He gave her a gentle nudge with his boot and she looked up - her face glistening with sweat - and pulled the headphones off her ears with dirt-covered hands.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
Shane's heart hammered so loudly in his ears that he could hardly hear himself speak. "There's... something I want to ask you."

 

* * *

 

  
**6 MONTHS LATER**  
  
"Is that everything?" Amber questioned as she hoisted a cardboard box full of Jas's stuffed animals into the bed of her truck.  
  
"I think so," Shane responded, his voice drowned out by the loud, choking sobs of his aunt who was standing nearby, holding Jas in a tight embrace.  
  
"It's okay, Aunt Marnie," Jas said softly, patting Marnie's back in an attempt to console her - causing the woman to let out a quiet sniffle.  
  
"I know, hon, I'm just... I'll miss you both," she said, looking up at Shane with misty eyes. "You all _will_  be coming for dinner on Sunday, won't you?"  
  
Shane nodded. "Of course."  
  
"Good. I'll be making your favorite -- " she cried, collapsing into another fit of tears.  
  
Once Marnie had finally managed to calm down some, Amber, Shane, and Jas said their final goodbyes and drove to the farm they unloaded the truck and brought the boxes to their respective rooms - Shane's to Amber's and Jas's to her own - a new addition to the house Robin had just finished building a few days prior. After helping Jas unpack, Amber then moved to her room where she found Shane standing by their dresser placing the turnip plush alongside their wedding photo.

"Hey," she said softly from the doorway, grabbing his attention. 

"Oh. Hey."  
  
"You alright? You look kind of spaced out."  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..." Shane paused, sighing as he moved his hands from the turnip. "It's a little weird that I'm in this house now. For good. When I first moved up here from the city I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life on Marnie's ranch."  
  
Amber crossed the room and sat on the edge of her bed. "But then I came and swept you off your feet, right?"  
  
"Right," Shane chuckled, and stepped away from the dresser to sit down beside her.  
  
Reaching up to cradle the back of his head, Amber leaned over and placed the softest of kisses on his cheek. "I love you so much," she mumbled quietly, her lips brushing lightly against his skin.  
   
"I love you more," he murmured in return, pulling her close as he returned the kiss. His arms were even stronger now - all thanks to daily farm work and a good diet - but to Amber, they still felt as warm and safe as they always had been, and at that moment there was nowhere else she would rather be.  
  
Later that evening, the three gathered in the kitchen - each one doing their part in preparing for dinner. Amber and Shane split the task of cooking and cleaning while Jas set the table and fetched everyone a glass of ice water. As they sat together and ate, Amber glanced about the room, her eyes landing first on the fridge - Jas's drawings covering nearly every square inch. Next were the two people in front of her - her husband and her daughter - both doubled over in laughter due to a piece of spinach stubbornly stuck in the gap between Jas's teeth. Finally, they settled on the cherry wood plaque she had received as a wedding gift, which simply read " **HOME SWEET HOME** " in bold lettering, and upon seeing it, Amber smiled contentedly.  
  
Yeah.  
  
She was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! You have no idea how much your kind comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions have meant to me! Knowing you were there in some way or another really helped to keep me going!
> 
> Over the next few months, I will be planning out and outlining a Female Player/Harvey fic, so if you enjoyed From Dusk to Dawn, please give it a go once I start posting!
> 
> Thanks again, so much, and I hope to see you in the future. :)


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